1
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Hi. My name is Mark.

2
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You know, there's a lot of One Direction fan fiction out there,

3
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but it seems like all the stuff I've read is written by girls.

4
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Which is great, you know, I'm not knocking girls.

5
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Theyre...girls.

6
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But, I just thought it was about time there was some 1D fan fic written by a dude.

7
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Which...I'm one - dude.

8
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So, that's what I did.

9
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And then, I animated it.

10
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Good morning. Y'all ready to order?

11
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I'll have the French Toast, please.

12
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I'll have the sausage biscuit, please.

13
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I'll have the tacos, please.

14
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Harry!

15
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What? It's my favorite food!

16
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Tacos are not for breakfast!

17
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They are now. Introducing Tac-O's.

18
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It's meat-, cheese- and lettuce-flavored O's

19
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in a tortilla bowl.

20
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That's disgusting.

21
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It even makes the milk tastes like tacos.

22
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That's even disgusting-er.

23
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That's not even a word.

24
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Hi guys.

25
00:00:56,979 --> 00:00:57,971
[ALL] Hello, Zayn.

26
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Whoa, new hairdo!

27
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Yeah, what'ya think?

28
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,923
It's...uh...

29
00:01:02,923 --> 00:01:05,977
It's...quite steep.

30
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Bit like a...ski jump.

31
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Which I guess is what you were going for?

32
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[PHONE RINGS]

33
00:01:13,386 --> 00:01:14,861
1D! Come in, 1D!

34
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Oh look! A call from Psymon.

35
00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:18,391
It's an emergency, boys!

36
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Report to 1D HQ ASAP.

37
00:01:20,386 --> 00:01:22,332
No time for breakfast, lads.

38
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,276
The world needs our help!

39
00:01:31,276 --> 00:01:33,761
One Direction, thanks goodness you're here!

40
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,845
What seems to be the trouble, Psymon?

41
00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,745
It doesn't look good, boys.

42
00:01:37,745 --> 00:01:39,845
What doesn't look good? Oh, Zayn's new hairdo?

43
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Niall! -[LAUGHS] What?

44
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I will mess you up!

45
00:01:42,507 --> 00:01:45,177
Mess me up? Oh, like your hairdresser messed up your hair?

46
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Oh, it is ON!

47
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Oh! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Oh!

48
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,759
It's on like Donkey Kong. -What?

49
00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:53,659
Boys! Boys! The world is in it's hour of need.

50
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We cannot afford to squabble over [ ].

51
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,223
Why, what's up, Psymon?

52
00:01:57,223 --> 00:01:59,431
Yeah what's up, besides Zayn's hair?

53
00:01:59,431 --> 00:02:01,438
'cause that's really up, isn't it?

54
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It's like weeeesh!

55
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Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

56
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Reports are coming in all over town.

57
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Pussycats are going missing by the thousands!

58
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Oh, no! What a catastrophe!

59
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Or should I say, CAT-astrophe?

60
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Ooh! -No, you shouldn't. -[FALSETTO] OK.

61
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We just need to get out there and help people find their pussycats.

62
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It may not be as simple as that.

63
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We have reason to believe Lord Faptaguise is behind this.

64
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[ALL] Lord Faptaguise?

65
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But we defeated him in the Battle of Zindalor.

66
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Well, he's back!

67
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And we all know how much Lord Faptaguise hates pussycats.

68
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So the pussycats didn't just go missing, they've been kidnapped.

69
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Or, should I say, CAT-napped?

70
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cat-, catnipped, yes?

71
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No.

72
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[FALSETTO] Sorry.

73
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So, where is Lord Fapatguise?

74
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His dreaded tank fortress, the Rap-o-Sphere has been spotted

75
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on the outskirts of town...

76
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Good.

77
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...heading East.

78
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Toward the Dimensional Gate.

79
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Yes! We must act swiftly!

80
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,807
If the Rap-o-Sphere escapes to another dimension

81
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with the pussycats on board, we will never see them again.

82
00:03:04,761 --> 00:03:05,984
So, what's the plan?

83
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Liam, Niall and Zayn: you three must infiltrate the Rap-o-Sphere

84
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and found your way to the Control Room.

85
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It no doubt will be heavily guarded by guards.

86
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Niall and Zayn, you must eliminate them,

87
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allowing Liam to gain access to the Control Room.

88
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Easy! -Piece of pudding! -What?

89
00:03:20,456 --> 00:03:22,156
Liam, once inside the Control Room,

90
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you must hack into the Security Terminal,

91
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and open the prison cell doors.

92
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Hey! I'm on it like Donkey Konit.

93
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What? No, wait. What?

94
00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:32,679
Just open the cell doors?

95
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,915
But who's going to round up all the pussycats

96
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and get them out of there?

97
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Yes, all the pussys. That's where you come in, Harry.

98
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You're telling me.

99
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You must go deep into the Marmitian Swamp,

100
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and seek the help of an old knight named Paul.

101
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He will teach you the ancient art of retrieving pussycats.

102
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I don't need help, I can do it alone.

103
00:03:51,091 --> 00:03:53,132
No you can't, Harry. That's why you and Louis

104
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will seek out Sir Paul together.

105
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Only with teamwork, can you save all the pussycats -

106
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including your own!

107
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Oh no, Molly! Did they get Molly?

108
00:04:02,948 --> 00:04:04,717
I thought his name was Dusty?

109
00:04:04,726 --> 00:04:07,069
Depends which web site you read.

110
00:04:07,919 --> 00:04:29,561
Molly? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

111
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,744
Nice.

112
00:04:30,744 --> 00:04:34,825
Thanks, but Fapatguise, he stole my pussycat!

113
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Now, it's personal.

114
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Or, should I say, pussy-nal?

115
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Oof! My balls!

116
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Whew, we made it inside the Rap-o-Sphere!

117
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Now to make our way to the control room.

118
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This place is a maze, how are we going to find it?

119
00:04:51,388 --> 00:04:54,304
Easy, just follow the pipes along the ceiling.

120
00:04:54,304 --> 00:04:56,972
Duh, it's like you've never been inside a Rap-o-Sphere before!

121
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Nerds.

122
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Right, the old knight lives in solitude deep within this swamp

123
00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:09,106
He lives alone? So that makes him... a stag-knight!

124
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That's your worst one yet.

125
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,215
Oof! Now come along

126
00:05:14,215 --> 00:05:17,841
We've been - we've been walking for ages.

127
00:05:17,841 --> 00:05:20,709
Are you sure we're going in the right direction?

128
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:22,343
Well, we're following the map!

129
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:24,524
I think we're going the wrong way.

130
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,238
What, do you think I can't read maps?

131
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,124
That, or you're holding it wrong.

132
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What, with my hands? That's how most humans hold things.

133
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But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that.

134
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What, are you saying I'm not human?

135
00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:39,876
I don't know, why don't you ask your four nipples what they think?

136
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Maybe those will give you a clue.

137
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That's it, I'm going this direction.

138
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Harry, come back! We can't go in two directions. We have to go in one direction.

139
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Not anymore, I can save the pussycats myself.

140
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I don't need some old knight to help me, and I certainly don't need you!

141
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Fine. (X12)

142
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Woah, those guards look dangerous.

143
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm not so sure we can take them out.

144
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe you and Nile can distract them, you know, dress up like girls or something.

145
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mean, at least that works in cartoons.

146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What do you think Nile?

147
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Already there.

148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey there big boys.

149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow, check it out.

150
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nice

151
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I love dancing skirts.

152
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like I need help getting pussycats out of the ratosphere.

153
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow, baby

154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hey there big boy.

155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hello.

156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm Harry.

157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm a news reporter.

158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am doing a story on the missing pussycat.

159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh I'm gonna save them.

160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You are? Oh you must be very brave.

161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uh-hum, I'm brave.

162
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well it sounds like we could help each other out.

163
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would love to exchange fluids. Hihihi.

164
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mean information.

165
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Perhaps over dinner?

166
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
OK

167
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How about some Tacos?

168
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ok this must be it.

169
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Who goes there?

170
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It is I, Louis, of One Direction.

171
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Greetings.

172
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I am sir Paul, of the Beatles.

173
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Beatles.

174
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I am in need of your help, Sir Paul.

175
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Pussycats all over the land have been captured

176
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and legend has it that you hold the key to retrieving them.

177
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Aah, I know what you're looking for.

178
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now that I haven't used in a long time.

179
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What? What is it?

180
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What you seek is the pussymagnet.

181
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Behold!

182
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nice

183
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So how do you turn it on?

184
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One does not simply turn on the pussymagnet.

185
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It is activated by a series of tones, you know

186
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like the

187
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
allow me to demonstrate

188
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She was just seventeen

189
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you know what I mean

190
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Woah-woa-woa

191
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Paul

192
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What do you mean?

193
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know, John wrote that bit

194
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And the way she looked

195
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Was way beyond compare

196
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So how could I dance with another?

197
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow, that really works!

198
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hitting the high note at the end is the key.

199
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well I'll try

200
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
though I bet Harry could hit it

201
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Harry? Is he a friend of yours?

202
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah

203
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or... he used to be.

204
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We had a bit of a falling out.

205
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well you know you can't pull this off on your own.

206
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's like I always said: I get by with a little help from my friends.

207
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought that song was about drugs, though

208
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Shhhh

209
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't speak, Harry, don't speak

210
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But I'm crazy about you

211
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know, Harry, but I must order now —

212
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Three tacos, please