0:00:00.618,0:00:02.502
Hi. My name is Mark.

0:00:02.502,0:00:05.193
You know, there's a lot of One Direction fan fiction out there,

0:00:05.193,0:00:08.455
but it seems like all the stuff I've read is written by girls.

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Which is great, you know, I'm not knocking girls.

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Theyre...girls.

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But, I just thought it was about time there was some 1D fan fic written by a dude.

0:00:18.744,0:00:22.579
Which...I'm one - dude.

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So, that's what I did.

0:00:24.802,0:00:27.388
And then, I animated it.

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Good morning. Y'all ready to order?

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I'll have the French Toast, please.

0:00:32.626,0:00:34.557
I'll have the sausage biscuit, please.

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I'll have the tacos, please.

0:00:36.858,0:00:37.666
Harry!

0:00:37.666,0:00:39.889
What? It's my favorite food!

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Tacos are not for breakfast!

0:00:41.527,0:00:44.929
They are now. Introducing Tac-O's.

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It's meat-, cheese- and lettuce-flavored O's

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in a tortilla bowl.

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That's disgusting.

0:00:50.130,0:00:52.979
It even makes the milk tastes like tacos.

0:00:52.979,0:00:54.587
That's even disgusting-er.

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That's not even a word.

0:00:56.148,0:00:56.979
Hi guys.

0:00:56.979,0:00:57.971
[ALL] Hello, Zayn.

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Whoa, new hairdo!

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Yeah, what'ya think?

0:01:01.094,0:01:02.923
It's...uh...

0:01:02.923,0:01:05.977
It's...quite steep.

0:01:05.977,0:01:08.575
Bit like a...ski jump.

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Which I guess is what you were going for?

0:01:11.644,0:01:13.386
[PHONE RINGS]

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1D! Come in, 1D!

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Oh look! A call from Psymon.

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It's an emergency, boys!

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Report to 1D HQ ASAP.

0:01:20.386,0:01:22.332
No time for breakfast, lads.

0:01:22.332,0:01:24.276
The world needs our help!

0:01:31.276,0:01:33.761
One Direction, thanks goodness you're here!

0:01:33.761,0:01:35.845
What seems to be the trouble, Psymon?

0:01:35.845,0:01:37.745
It doesn't look good, boys.

0:01:37.745,0:01:39.845
What doesn't look good? Oh, Zayn's new hairdo?

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Niall! -[LAUGHS] What?

0:01:41.068,0:01:42.507
I will mess you up!

0:01:42.507,0:01:45.177
Mess me up? Oh, like your hairdresser messed up your hair?

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Oh, it is ON!

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Oh! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Oh!

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It's on like Donkey Kong. -What?

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Boys! Boys! The world is in it's hour of need.

0:01:53.659,0:01:55.682
We cannot afford to squabble over [ ].

0:01:55.682,0:01:57.223
Why, what's up, Psymon?

0:01:57.223,0:01:59.431
Yeah what's up, besides Zayn's hair?

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'cause that's really up, isn't it?

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It's like weeeesh!

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Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

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Reports are coming in all over town.

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Pussycats are going missing by the thousands!

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Oh, no! What a catastrophe!

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Or should I say, CAT-astrophe?

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Ooh! -No, you shouldn't. -[FALSETTO] OK.

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We just need to get out there and help people find their pussycats.

0:02:20.711,0:02:22.503
It may not be as simple as that.

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We have reason to believe Lord Faptaguise is behind this.

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[ALL] Lord Faptaguise?

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But we defeated him in the Battle of Zindalor.

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Well, he's back!

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And we all know how much Lord Faptaguise hates pussycats.

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So the pussycats didn't just go missing, they've been kidnapped.

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Or, should I say, CAT-napped?

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cat-, catnipped, yes?

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No.

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[FALSETTO] Sorry.

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So, where is Lord Fapatguise?

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His dreaded tank fortress, the Rap-o-Sphere has been spotted

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on the outskirts of town...

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Good.

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...heading East.

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Toward the Dimensional Gate.

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Yes! We must act swiftly!

0:02:59.788,0:03:01.807
If the Rap-o-Sphere escapes to another dimension

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with the pussycats on board, we will never see them again.

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So, what's the plan?

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Liam, Niall and Zayn: you three must infiltrate the Rap-o-Sphere

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and found your way to the Control Room.

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It no doubt will be heavily guarded by guards.

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Niall and Zayn, you must eliminate them,

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allowing Liam to gain access to the Control Room.

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Easy! -Piece of pudding! -What?

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Liam, once inside the Control Room,

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you must hack into the Security Terminal,

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and open the prison cell doors.

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Hey! I'm on it like Donkey Konit.

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What? No, wait. What?

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Just open the cell doors?

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But who's going to round up all the pussycats

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and get them out of there?

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Yes, all the pussys. That's where you come in, Harry.

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You're telling me.

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You must go deep into the Marmitian Swamp,

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and seek the help of an old knight named Paul.

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He will teach you the ancient art of retrieving pussycats.

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I don't need help, I can do it alone.

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No you can't, Harry. That's why you and Louis

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will seek out Sir Paul together.

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Only with teamwork, can you save all the pussycats -

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including your own!

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Oh no, Molly! Did they get Molly?

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I thought his name was Dusty?

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Depends which web site you read.

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Molly? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Nice.

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Thanks, but Fapatguise, he stole my pussycat!

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Now, it's personal.

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Or, should I say, pussy-nal?

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Oof! My balls!

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Whew, we made it inside the Rap-o-Sphere!

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Now to make our way to the control room.

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This place is a maze, how are we going to find it?

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Easy, just follow the pipes along the ceiling.

0:04:54.304,0:04:56.972
Duh, it's like you've never been inside a Rap-o-Sphere before!

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Nerds.

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Right, the old knight lives in solitude deep within this swamp

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He lives alone? So that makes him... a stag-knight!

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That's your worst one yet.

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Oof! Now come along

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We've been - we've been walking for ages.

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Are you sure we're going in the right direction?

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Well, we're following the map!

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I think we're going the wrong way.

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What, do you think I can't read maps?

0:05:26.238,0:05:28.124
That, or you're holding it wrong.

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What, with my hands? That's how most humans hold things.

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But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that.

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What, are you saying I'm not human?

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I don't know, why don't you ask your four nipples what they think?

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Maybe those will give you a clue.

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That's it, I'm going this direction.

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Harry, come back! We can't go in two directions. We have to go in one direction.

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Not anymore, I can save the pussycats myself.

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I don't need some old knight to help me, and I certainly don't need you!

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Fine. (X12)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Woah, those guards look dangerous.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not so sure we can take them out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe you and Nile can distract them, you know, dress up like girls or something.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, at least that works in cartoons.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What do you think Nile?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Already there.

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Hey there big boys.

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Wow, check it out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Nice

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I love dancing skirts.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like I need help getting pussycats out of the ratosphere.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wow, baby

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey there big boy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hello.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm Harry.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm a news reporter.

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I am doing a story on the missing pussycat.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh I'm gonna save them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You are? Oh you must be very brave.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uh-hum, I'm brave.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well it sounds like we could help each other out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would love to exchange fluids. Hihihi.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean information.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Perhaps over dinner?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
OK

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How about some Tacos?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok this must be it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Who goes there?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is I, Louis, of One Direction.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Greetings.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I am sir Paul, of the Beatles.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Beatles.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I am in need of your help, Sir Paul.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Pussycats all over the land have been captured

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and legend has it that you hold the key to retrieving them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Aah, I know what you're looking for.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now that I haven't used in a long time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What? What is it?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What you seek is the pussymagnet.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Behold!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Nice

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So how do you turn it on?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
One does not simply turn on the pussymagnet.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is activated by a series of tones, you know

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like the

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
allow me to demonstrate

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She was just seventeen

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you know what I mean

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Woah-woa-woa

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Paul

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What do you mean?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know, John wrote that bit

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the way she looked

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Was way beyond compare

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So how could I dance with another?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wow, that really works!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hitting the high note at the end is the key.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well I'll try

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
though I bet Harry could hit it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Harry? Is he a friend of yours?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or... he used to be.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We had a bit of a falling out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well you know you can't pull this off on your own.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's like I always said: I get by with a little help from my friends.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I thought that song was about drugs, though

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Shhhh

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Don't speak, Harry, don't speak

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But I'm crazy about you

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I know, Harry, but I must order now —

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Three tacos, please