Mindfulness.
It's really become quite the buzzword in recent times
even though mindfulness practices have been used for millennia.
Most of us agree
that mindfulness practices are a positive thing
and would benefit our life.
There's abundant research
illustrating the positive effect that mindfulness practices have
on quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress.
From Fortune 500 companies to elementary schools,
mindfulness practices are being used every day
in practical application and controlled studies
with wonderful outcomes.
Unfortunately,
most of us tend to pump the brakes
when we think about sequestering even a small amount of time
or a quiet space
to practice mindfulness.
You might think to yourself,
"A quiet space?
Ten minutes?
What?
Forget it.
I don't have time."
Out of survival in the moment,
we allow screaming children,
occupational pressures,
general life stress,
and technological distractions
to consume our precious minutes.
The result of brushing mindfulness practices aside
is more stress
and a decreased quality of life.
What if I told you that the benefits of mindfulness
could be obtained in as little as 30 seconds
in almost any setting?
You might think that I'm selling snake oil
or, at a minimum, it's too good to be true.
The reality is
it is true
and is being done regularly
by people that I've trained in the method that I'm about to share with you,
ranging from elite athletes to doctors to parents.
I first developed the technique I call "the 3x3 Method"
when my daughter was about one year old.
For those of you with children, you know that parenting brings great joy
but also an incredible amount of stress.
I found myself experiencing increased muscle tension,
headaches, and anxiety
as I rushed from home to work to home to the playground,
to home to bed to work to home to the playground,
and on and on the carousel went.
I became extremely uncomfortable,
and so I set out to do something about it.
Now, as a psychotherapist
working in the high-pressured environment of the Silicon Valley,
I am inherently passionate about mindfulness techniques.
Thought I had it in the bag.
I set out to give it a try.
Unfortunately,
I fell right into the "hurry, hurry, hurry, I don't have time" trap.
What'd that get me?
More stress, more headaches, more anxiety - the whole thing.
I kept plugging along and still had very little positive result.
So I thought, well, maybe I'll try and get some feedback.
I wore a heart rate monitor
to gauge my physical response to different techniques that I was trying.
Kept plugging along
and still was not having the type of result that I had hoped for
until I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques
alongside one of the most basic mindfulness techniques.
That's when it clicked.
(Finger snap)
That was the game changer.
My heart rate began to drop consistently.
My psychological responses to stressors in the environment
were significantly altered.
Thus, "The 3x3 Method" was born.
The 3x3 Method is extremely simple.
All you're going to do
is identify one physical object in the environment,
name it,
and take one deep breath,
and repeat it three times.
Now, keep in mind, most everyone that I've trained in this model
looked at me like I was spouting nonsense
until they tried it.
So you're not alone if you feel the same way,
and don't worry, we're going to do it together in just a minute, okay?
Want to do it together?
Audience: Yeah.
All right.
So I want you to find -
think of and find three physical objects in your environment.
It can be anything:
it can be your desk, someone sitting next to you,
your computer screen, a lamp.
Literally anything.
It's important not to fall into a particular trap
that I've seen many people fall in,
and that is to add subjective descriptors to the object,
like that's my favorite stool
or I really like Johnny.
When we add these subjective descriptors, adjectives, etcetera,
it brings about subtle emotional reactions that muddle the process.
So you're simply going to say,
"That's a stool."
Nothing else.
When you name the object, you're going to do so in your mind,
not out loud.
If you do this at work or on the bus or train,
people might start to think, you know,
you're having a little trouble that day.
Okay?
And when you take your breath,
you're going to do so through your nose or mouth,
whatever is comfortable for you.
Ultimately, it is best if you choose the objects yourself,
but for the sake of this talk and for us to do it together
and things to be expeditious,
I've picked out three objects for us:
this pointer, that stool, and this screen.
Ready to give it a try together?
All right, here we go.
That's a pointer.
Take a deep breath.
(Inhales)
(Exhales)
That's a stool.
Deep breath.
(Inhales)
(Exhales)
That's a screen.
Another deep breath.
(Inhales)
(Exhales)
So, how do you feel?
A little less stressed?
A little more relaxed?
It's good, right?
And it's insanely simple.
I even use it at night if I wake up,
worried about the children or work or whatever,
and I can't get back to sleep.
And you'd better believe
that I was using it behind that curtain before coming out here today.
Okay?
Backstage, I even did what I call a "9x9,"
which is doing the process three times in a row,
and you can do that too if you're ever in a tight spot
or coming out to give a TEDx Talk.
(Laughter)
So when are you going to use the 3x3 Method in your life?
We all experience repeated stressors in our daily lives
that tax our ability to stay present in the current moment,
focus, and manage our stress.
I want you to take a moment
to think about one of these repeated stressors that you experience.
It shouldn't be too hard.
Everyone have something?
Okay.
So let's make a promise to each other:
the next time that we experience one of these stressors,
we'll use the 3x3 Method to try and manage it.
Deal?
Audience: Yeah.
Great.
So, what is the future of the 3x3 Method?
The people who are using the 3x3 Method continue to inspire me
in the myriad of situations and occupations and life settings
in which they're using it.
I have an elite runner using it during long races to keep stamina;
a spine surgeon using it during complex procedures to stay calm;
even a CEO using it right before making big decisions.
Really, anyone can use it in almost any setting -
from parents to business people to doctors to athletes.
It doesn't matter.
Finally,
the 3x3 Method can be used
to help us avoid
the ever-growing, addictive nature
of the impulse to check our digital devices.
(Laughter)
The next time that you're in line
at the store
and you have that urge to take your phone out
and check social media, send a text, read an email -
don't.
Use the 3x3 Method instead
to bring yourself back to the current moment.
Every moment has meaning.
Time is precious.
Don't miss out.
Thank you for sharing this moment with me.
(Applause)