1 00:00:18,663 --> 00:00:20,654 Mindfulness. 2 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,314 It's really become quite the buzzword in recent times 3 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:26,371 even though mindfulness practices have been used for millennia. 4 00:00:26,831 --> 00:00:27,944 Most of us agree 5 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,167 that mindfulness practices are a positive thing 6 00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:31,809 and would benefit our life. 7 00:00:31,809 --> 00:00:33,087 There's abundant research 8 00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:36,085 illustrating the positive effect that mindfulness practices have 9 00:00:36,085 --> 00:00:41,264 on quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress. 10 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,613 From Fortune 500 companies to elementary schools, 11 00:00:44,613 --> 00:00:47,340 mindfulness practices are being used every day 12 00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:50,722 in practical application and controlled studies 13 00:00:50,722 --> 00:00:52,583 with wonderful outcomes. 14 00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:54,749 Unfortunately, 15 00:00:54,749 --> 00:00:57,955 most of us tend to pump the brakes 16 00:00:57,955 --> 00:01:01,476 when we think about sequestering even a small amount of time 17 00:01:01,476 --> 00:01:03,254 or a quiet space 18 00:01:03,254 --> 00:01:05,286 to practice mindfulness. 19 00:01:05,646 --> 00:01:07,348 You might think to yourself, 20 00:01:07,348 --> 00:01:09,225 "A quiet space? 21 00:01:09,595 --> 00:01:10,728 Ten minutes? 22 00:01:10,728 --> 00:01:11,908 What? 23 00:01:11,908 --> 00:01:12,908 Forget it. 24 00:01:12,908 --> 00:01:14,233 I don't have time." 25 00:01:15,263 --> 00:01:17,274 Out of survival in the moment, 26 00:01:17,274 --> 00:01:19,191 we allow screaming children, 27 00:01:19,191 --> 00:01:21,167 occupational pressures, 28 00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,242 general life stress, 29 00:01:23,242 --> 00:01:24,899 and technological distractions 30 00:01:24,899 --> 00:01:27,417 to consume our precious minutes. 31 00:01:28,877 --> 00:01:31,670 The result of brushing mindfulness practices aside 32 00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:32,884 is more stress 33 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,386 and a decreased quality of life. 34 00:01:36,536 --> 00:01:39,759 What if I told you that the benefits of mindfulness 35 00:01:39,759 --> 00:01:43,849 could be obtained in as little as 30 seconds 36 00:01:43,849 --> 00:01:45,831 in almost any setting? 37 00:01:46,881 --> 00:01:49,045 You might think that I'm selling snake oil 38 00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:51,495 or, at a minimum, it's too good to be true. 39 00:01:51,805 --> 00:01:53,130 The reality is 40 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:54,575 it is true 41 00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:55,975 and is being done regularly 42 00:01:55,975 --> 00:01:59,690 by people that I've trained in the method that I'm about to share with you, 43 00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:04,105 ranging from elite athletes to doctors to parents. 44 00:02:05,445 --> 00:02:08,772 I first developed the technique I call "the 3x3 Method" 45 00:02:08,772 --> 00:02:11,856 when my daughter was about one year old. 46 00:02:12,836 --> 00:02:16,276 For those of you with children, you know that parenting brings great joy 47 00:02:16,276 --> 00:02:19,146 but also an incredible amount of stress. 48 00:02:19,516 --> 00:02:23,243 I found myself experiencing increased muscle tension, 49 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,994 headaches, and anxiety 50 00:02:24,994 --> 00:02:29,808 as I rushed from home to work to home to the playground, 51 00:02:30,048 --> 00:02:32,669 to home to bed to work to home to the playground, 52 00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:35,436 and on and on the carousel went. 53 00:02:35,436 --> 00:02:37,682 I became extremely uncomfortable, 54 00:02:37,682 --> 00:02:39,942 and so I set out to do something about it. 55 00:02:40,692 --> 00:02:41,968 Now, as a psychotherapist 56 00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:45,120 working in the high-pressured environment of the Silicon Valley, 57 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,973 I am inherently passionate about mindfulness techniques. 58 00:02:48,973 --> 00:02:50,783 Thought I had it in the bag. 59 00:02:51,063 --> 00:02:52,926 I set out to give it a try. 60 00:02:53,416 --> 00:02:54,884 Unfortunately, 61 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:59,614 I fell right into the "hurry, hurry, hurry, I don't have time" trap. 62 00:02:59,969 --> 00:03:01,302 What'd that get me? 63 00:03:01,302 --> 00:03:04,945 More stress, more headaches, more anxiety - the whole thing. 64 00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:09,653 I kept plugging along and still had very little positive result. 65 00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:12,620 So I thought, well, maybe I'll try and get some feedback. 66 00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:13,936 I wore a heart rate monitor 67 00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:17,592 to gauge my physical response to different techniques that I was trying. 68 00:03:19,112 --> 00:03:20,221 Kept plugging along 69 00:03:20,221 --> 00:03:23,646 and still was not having the type of result that I had hoped for 70 00:03:23,646 --> 00:03:28,268 until I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques 71 00:03:28,268 --> 00:03:32,123 alongside one of the most basic mindfulness techniques. 72 00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:33,220 That's when it clicked. 73 00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:34,591 (Finger snap) 74 00:03:34,691 --> 00:03:36,604 That was the game changer. 75 00:03:36,894 --> 00:03:39,812 My heart rate began to drop consistently. 76 00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:43,631 My psychological responses to stressors in the environment 77 00:03:43,631 --> 00:03:46,105 were significantly altered. 78 00:03:46,455 --> 00:03:49,109 Thus, "The 3x3 Method" was born. 79 00:03:51,803 --> 00:03:55,340 The 3x3 Method is extremely simple. 80 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,891 All you're going to do 81 00:03:57,891 --> 00:04:01,410 is identify one physical object in the environment, 82 00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:02,413 name it, 83 00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:03,625 and take one deep breath, 84 00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,640 and repeat it three times. 85 00:04:06,006 --> 00:04:09,481 Now, keep in mind, most everyone that I've trained in this model 86 00:04:09,481 --> 00:04:11,432 looked at me like I was spouting nonsense 87 00:04:11,432 --> 00:04:13,016 until they tried it. 88 00:04:13,016 --> 00:04:15,121 So you're not alone if you feel the same way, 89 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:18,451 and don't worry, we're going to do it together in just a minute, okay? 90 00:04:18,451 --> 00:04:19,549 Want to do it together? 91 00:04:19,549 --> 00:04:20,551 Audience: Yeah. 92 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:21,548 All right. 93 00:04:22,978 --> 00:04:24,338 So I want you to find - 94 00:04:24,338 --> 00:04:27,780 think of and find three physical objects in your environment. 95 00:04:27,780 --> 00:04:28,782 It can be anything: 96 00:04:28,782 --> 00:04:32,020 it can be your desk, someone sitting next to you, 97 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:33,770 your computer screen, a lamp. 98 00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:35,603 Literally anything. 99 00:04:35,603 --> 00:04:40,267 It's important not to fall into a particular trap 100 00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:41,932 that I've seen many people fall in, 101 00:04:41,932 --> 00:04:46,035 and that is to add subjective descriptors to the object, 102 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,967 like that's my favorite stool 103 00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:51,410 or I really like Johnny. 104 00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:54,722 When we add these subjective descriptors, adjectives, etcetera, 105 00:04:54,722 --> 00:04:58,200 it brings about subtle emotional reactions that muddle the process. 106 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,672 So you're simply going to say, 107 00:04:59,672 --> 00:05:01,144 "That's a stool." 108 00:05:01,144 --> 00:05:02,710 Nothing else. 109 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:05,562 When you name the object, you're going to do so in your mind, 110 00:05:05,562 --> 00:05:06,704 not out loud. 111 00:05:06,704 --> 00:05:08,854 If you do this at work or on the bus or train, 112 00:05:08,854 --> 00:05:10,967 people might start to think, you know, 113 00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,869 you're having a little trouble that day. 114 00:05:12,869 --> 00:05:14,091 Okay? 115 00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:15,685 And when you take your breath, 116 00:05:15,685 --> 00:05:17,986 you're going to do so through your nose or mouth, 117 00:05:17,986 --> 00:05:20,007 whatever is comfortable for you. 118 00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:24,006 Ultimately, it is best if you choose the objects yourself, 119 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:26,714 but for the sake of this talk and for us to do it together 120 00:05:26,714 --> 00:05:28,157 and things to be expeditious, 121 00:05:28,157 --> 00:05:30,428 I've picked out three objects for us: 122 00:05:30,428 --> 00:05:35,067 this pointer, that stool, and this screen. 123 00:05:35,812 --> 00:05:37,341 Ready to give it a try together? 124 00:05:37,341 --> 00:05:39,023 All right, here we go. 125 00:05:39,913 --> 00:05:41,234 That's a pointer. 126 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:42,587 Take a deep breath. 127 00:05:42,587 --> 00:05:43,806 (Inhales) 128 00:05:44,381 --> 00:05:45,661 (Exhales) 129 00:05:47,076 --> 00:05:48,584 That's a stool. 130 00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:49,920 Deep breath. 131 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,194 (Inhales) 132 00:05:51,804 --> 00:05:53,054 (Exhales) 133 00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:55,415 That's a screen. 134 00:05:55,735 --> 00:05:56,839 Another deep breath. 135 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,217 (Inhales) 136 00:05:58,977 --> 00:06:00,277 (Exhales) 137 00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:04,059 So, how do you feel? 138 00:06:05,029 --> 00:06:06,685 A little less stressed? 139 00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:09,031 A little more relaxed? 140 00:06:09,031 --> 00:06:10,227 It's good, right? 141 00:06:10,227 --> 00:06:12,320 And it's insanely simple. 142 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,038 I even use it at night if I wake up, 143 00:06:14,038 --> 00:06:16,225 worried about the children or work or whatever, 144 00:06:16,225 --> 00:06:17,826 and I can't get back to sleep. 145 00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:18,976 And you'd better believe 146 00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:22,211 that I was using it behind that curtain before coming out here today. 147 00:06:22,211 --> 00:06:23,351 Okay? 148 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:26,983 Backstage, I even did what I call a "9x9," 149 00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:29,218 which is doing the process three times in a row, 150 00:06:29,218 --> 00:06:31,741 and you can do that too if you're ever in a tight spot 151 00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:33,864 or coming out to give a TEDx Talk. 152 00:06:33,864 --> 00:06:35,231 (Laughter) 153 00:06:35,231 --> 00:06:38,686 So when are you going to use the 3x3 Method in your life? 154 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:43,452 We all experience repeated stressors in our daily lives 155 00:06:43,452 --> 00:06:46,835 that tax our ability to stay present in the current moment, 156 00:06:46,835 --> 00:06:49,077 focus, and manage our stress. 157 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,650 I want you to take a moment 158 00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:54,850 to think about one of these repeated stressors that you experience. 159 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,047 It shouldn't be too hard. 160 00:06:58,941 --> 00:07:00,549 Everyone have something? 161 00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:02,080 Okay. 162 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,051 So let's make a promise to each other: 163 00:07:04,371 --> 00:07:07,600 the next time that we experience one of these stressors, 164 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,428 we'll use the 3x3 Method to try and manage it. 165 00:07:11,828 --> 00:07:12,831 Deal? 166 00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:13,834 Audience: Yeah. 167 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:14,854 Great. 168 00:07:14,854 --> 00:07:18,708 So, what is the future of the 3x3 Method? 169 00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:22,824 The people who are using the 3x3 Method continue to inspire me 170 00:07:22,824 --> 00:07:28,225 in the myriad of situations and occupations and life settings 171 00:07:28,225 --> 00:07:29,730 in which they're using it. 172 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:34,877 I have an elite runner using it during long races to keep stamina; 173 00:07:35,227 --> 00:07:41,126 a spine surgeon using it during complex procedures to stay calm; 174 00:07:41,193 --> 00:07:45,294 even a CEO using it right before making big decisions. 175 00:07:46,554 --> 00:07:49,614 Really, anyone can use it in almost any setting - 176 00:07:49,856 --> 00:07:52,422 from parents to business people to doctors to athletes. 177 00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:53,689 It doesn't matter. 178 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,091 Finally, 179 00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:58,301 the 3x3 Method can be used 180 00:07:58,301 --> 00:07:59,981 to help us avoid 181 00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:03,271 the ever-growing, addictive nature 182 00:08:03,271 --> 00:08:07,251 of the impulse to check our digital devices. 183 00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:08,465 (Laughter) 184 00:08:09,566 --> 00:08:11,140 The next time that you're in line 185 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,585 at the store 186 00:08:12,585 --> 00:08:15,381 and you have that urge to take your phone out 187 00:08:15,381 --> 00:08:19,748 and check social media, send a text, read an email - 188 00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:21,312 don't. 189 00:08:21,812 --> 00:08:24,411 Use the 3x3 Method instead 190 00:08:24,411 --> 00:08:28,136 to bring yourself back to the current moment. 191 00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:31,502 Every moment has meaning. 192 00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:34,027 Time is precious. 193 00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,175 Don't miss out. 194 00:08:37,325 --> 00:08:40,759 Thank you for sharing this moment with me. 195 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:43,226 (Applause)