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[ Applause ]
>> Mindfulness.
Truly become quite the buzzword in recent times,
even though mindfulness practices have been used for millennia.
Most of us are in agreement that mindfulness practices are a positive thing
and would benefit our life.
There's an abundant amount of research illustrating the positive effect
that mindfulness practices have on quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress.
From Fortune 500 companies to elementary schools,
mindfulness practices are being used every day in practical application
and controlled studies with wonderful outcomes.
Unfortunately, most of us tend to pump the brakes when we think
about sequestering even a small amount of time or quiet space to practice mindfulness.
You might think to yourself, a quiet space.
Ten minutes.
What? Forget it.
I don't have time.
We allow in the, out of survival and the moment we allow screaming children,
occupational pressures, general life stress,
and technological distractions to consume our precious minutes.
The result of brushing mindfulness practices aside is more stress
and a decreased quality of life.
What if I told you that the benefits of mindfulness could be obtained in as little
as 30 seconds in almost any setting?
You might think that I'm selling snake oil or at a minimum, it's too good to be true.
The reality is it is true.
And is being done regularly by people that I've trained in the method that I'm about to share
with you, ranging from elite athletes to doctors to parents.
I first developed the technique I call the Three by Three Method
when my daughter was about one year old.
For those of you with children, you know that parenting brings about great joy but,
also, an incredible amount of stress.
I found myself in experiencing increased muscle tension, headaches, and anxiety as I rushed
from home to work to home to the playground.
To home to bed to work to home to the playground.
And on and on, the carousel went.
I became extremely uncomfortable.
And so, I set out to do something about it.
Now, as a psychotherapist working in the high-pressure environment of the Silicon Valley,
I am inherently passionate about mindfulness techniques.
Thought I had it in the bag.
I set out to give it a try.
Unfortunately, I fell right into the hurry, hurry, hurry, I don't have time trap.
What'd that get me?
More stress, more headaches, more anxiety, the whole thing.
I kept plugging along and still had very little positive result.
So, I thought well, maybe I'll try and get some feedback.
I started wearing a heart rate monitor to gauge my physical response
to different techniques that I was trying.
Kept plugging along and still was not having the type of result that I had hoped for.
Until I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques alongside one
of the most basic mindfulness techniques.
That's when it clicked.
That was the gamechanger.
My heart rate began to drop consistently.
My psychological responses to stressors in the environment were significantly altered.
Thus, the Three by Three Method was born.
The Three by Three Method is extremely simple.
All you're going to do is identify one physical object in the environment, name it,
and take one deep breath, and repeat it three times.
Now, keep in mind, most everyone that I've trained in this model looked at me
like I was spouting nonsense until they tried it.
So, you're not alone if you're feeling that same way right now.
And don't worry, we're going to do it together in just a minute.
Okay? Want to do it together?
>> [group speaking] Yeah.
>> All right.
So, I want you to find, think and find three physical objects in your environment.
It can be anything.
It can be your desk.
Someone sitting next to you.
Your computer screen.
A lamp. Literally, anything.
It's important not to fall into a particular trap that I've seen many people fall in,
and that is to add subjective descriptors to the object.
Like, that's my favorite stool.
Or I really like Johnny.
When we add these subjective descriptors, adjectives, etcetera,
it brings about subtle emotional reactions that muddle the process.
So, you're simply going to say that's a stool.
Nothing else.
And when you name the object, you're going to do so in your mind, not out loud.
If you're doing this at work or on the bus or on the train, people might start to think,
you know, you're having a little trouble that day.
Okay. And when you take your breath, you're going to do so through your nose
or your mouth, whatever is comfortable for you.
Ultimately, it is best if you choose the object yourself and for the sake of this talk
and for us to do it together, things to be expeditious,
I've picked out three objects for us.
This pointer, that stool, and this screen.
Ready to give it a try together?
All right.
Here we go.
That's a pointer.
Take a deep breath [breathing].
That's a stool.
Deep breath [breathing].
That's a screen.
Another deep breath [breathing].
So, how do you feel?
A little less stressed?
More, a little more relaxed?
It's good.
Right. And it's insanely simple.
I even use it at night if I wake up worried about the children or work
or whatever it is and I can't get back to sleep.
And you'd better believe that I was using it behind
that curtain before coming out here today [laughter].
I, backstage, I even did what I call a Nine by Nine,
which is doing the whole process three times in a row.
And you can do that, too, if you're ever really in a tight spot
or coming out to give a TEDx talk.
So, when are you going to use the Three by Three Method in your life?
We all experience repeated stressors in our daily lives that tax our ability to stay present
in the current moment, focus, and manage our stress.
I want you to take a moment to think about one of these repeated stressors that you experience.
This shouldn't be too hard.
Everyone have something?
Okay. So, let's make a promise to each other.
The next time that we experience one of these stressors, we'll use the Three
by Three Method to try and manage it.
Deal?
>> [group speaking] Yeah.
>> Great. So, what is the future of the Three by Three Method?
The people who are using the Three by Three Method continue to inspire me in the myriad
of situations and occupations and life settings in which they're using it.
I have an elite runner using it during long races to keep stamina.
A spine surgeon using it during complex procedures to stay calm.
Even a CEO using it right before making big decisions.
Really, anyone can use it in almost any setting.
From parents to business people to doctors to athletes, it doesn't matter.
Finally, the Three by Three Method can be used
to help us avoid the ever-growing addictive nature
of the impulse to check our digital devices.
The next time that you're in line at the store and you have that urge to take your phone out
and check social media, send a text, read an email.
Don't. Use the Three by Three Method instead, to bring yourself back to the current moment.
Every moment has meaning.
Time is precious.
Don't miss out.
Thank you for sharing this moment with me.
[ Applause ]