WEBVTT 00:00:00.506 --> 00:00:12.516 [ Music ] 00:00:13.516 --> 00:00:18.176 [ Applause ] 00:00:18.676 --> 00:00:19.786 >> Mindfulness. 00:00:20.656 --> 00:00:23.066 Truly become quite the buzzword in recent times, 00:00:23.256 --> 00:00:25.616 even though mindfulness practices have been used for millennia. 00:00:26.816 --> 00:00:30.076 Most of us are in agreement that mindfulness practices are a positive thing 00:00:30.076 --> 00:00:31.116 and would benefit our life. 00:00:31.606 --> 00:00:34.486 There's an abundant amount of research illustrating the positive effect 00:00:34.486 --> 00:00:40.646 that mindfulness practices have on quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress. 00:00:41.876 --> 00:00:44.596 From Fortune 500 companies to elementary schools, 00:00:44.596 --> 00:00:48.876 mindfulness practices are being used every day in practical application 00:00:49.156 --> 00:00:52.036 and controlled studies with wonderful outcomes. 00:00:53.266 --> 00:00:58.376 Unfortunately, most of us tend to pump the brakes when we think 00:00:58.376 --> 00:01:04.446 about sequestering even a small amount of time or quiet space to practice mindfulness. 00:01:05.656 --> 00:01:08.626 You might think to yourself, a quiet space. 00:01:09.596 --> 00:01:10.226 Ten minutes. 00:01:10.686 --> 00:01:12.426 What? Forget it. 00:01:12.426 --> 00:01:15.036 I don't have time. 00:01:15.256 --> 00:01:18.676 We allow in the, out of survival and the moment we allow screaming children, 00:01:19.216 --> 00:01:22.576 occupational pressures, general life stress, 00:01:23.276 --> 00:01:26.746 and technological distractions to consume our precious minutes. 00:01:28.876 --> 00:01:32.686 The result of brushing mindfulness practices aside is more stress 00:01:32.686 --> 00:01:34.666 and a decreased quality of life. 00:01:36.506 --> 00:01:41.886 What if I told you that the benefits of mindfulness could be obtained in as little 00:01:41.886 --> 00:01:45.066 as 30 seconds in almost any setting? 00:01:45.066 --> 00:01:50.756 You might think that I'm selling snake oil or at a minimum, it's too good to be true. 00:01:51.826 --> 00:01:53.926 The reality is it is true. 00:01:54.616 --> 00:01:58.856 And is being done regularly by people that I've trained in the method that I'm about to share 00:01:58.856 --> 00:02:03.246 with you, ranging from elite athletes to doctors to parents. 00:02:05.466 --> 00:02:08.576 I first developed the technique I call the Three by Three Method 00:02:08.786 --> 00:02:11.086 when my daughter was about one year old. 00:02:12.426 --> 00:02:16.406 For those of you with children, you know that parenting brings about great joy but, 00:02:16.406 --> 00:02:18.636 also, an incredible amount of stress. 00:02:19.526 --> 00:02:25.706 I found myself in experiencing increased muscle tension, headaches, and anxiety as I rushed 00:02:25.706 --> 00:02:29.346 from home to work to home to the playground. 00:02:30.106 --> 00:02:32.776 To home to bed to work to home to the playground. 00:02:32.776 --> 00:02:34.806 And on and on, the carousel went. 00:02:34.986 --> 00:02:37.076 I became extremely uncomfortable. 00:02:37.626 --> 00:02:40.506 And so, I set out to do something about it. 00:02:40.686 --> 00:02:44.466 Now, as a psychotherapist working in the high-pressure environment of the Silicon Valley, 00:02:45.126 --> 00:02:48.336 I am inherently passionate about mindfulness techniques. 00:02:48.986 --> 00:02:50.016 Thought I had it in the bag. 00:02:50.796 --> 00:02:52.396 I set out to give it a try. 00:02:53.446 --> 00:02:58.866 Unfortunately, I fell right into the hurry, hurry, hurry, I don't have time trap. 00:02:59.936 --> 00:03:00.826 What'd that get me? 00:03:01.296 --> 00:03:04.296 More stress, more headaches, more anxiety, the whole thing. 00:03:04.296 --> 00:03:09.246 I kept plugging along and still had very little positive result. 00:03:09.656 --> 00:03:12.136 So, I thought well, maybe I'll try and get some feedback. 00:03:12.216 --> 00:03:15.306 I started wearing a heart rate monitor to gauge my physical response 00:03:15.336 --> 00:03:16.976 to different techniques that I was trying. 00:03:19.126 --> 00:03:23.146 Kept plugging along and still was not having the type of result that I had hoped for. 00:03:23.666 --> 00:03:29.196 Until I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques alongside one 00:03:29.196 --> 00:03:31.456 of the most basic mindfulness techniques. 00:03:32.136 --> 00:03:32.956 That's when it clicked. 00:03:34.716 --> 00:03:35.966 That was the gamechanger. 00:03:37.006 --> 00:03:39.326 My heart rate began to drop consistently. 00:03:40.066 --> 00:03:45.286 My psychological responses to stressors in the environment were significantly altered. 00:03:46.286 --> 00:03:48.666 Thus, the Three by Three Method was born. 00:03:51.836 --> 00:03:54.666 The Three by Three Method is extremely simple. 00:03:56.176 --> 00:04:01.886 All you're going to do is identify one physical object in the environment, name it, 00:04:02.306 --> 00:04:04.816 and take one deep breath, and repeat it three times. 00:04:06.016 --> 00:04:09.936 Now, keep in mind, most everyone that I've trained in this model looked at me 00:04:09.936 --> 00:04:12.636 like I was spouting nonsense until they tried it. 00:04:12.636 --> 00:04:15.016 So, you're not alone if you're feeling that same way right now. 00:04:15.016 --> 00:04:17.245 And don't worry, we're going to do it together in just a minute. 00:04:17.245 --> 00:04:19.636 Okay? Want to do it together? 00:04:19.826 --> 00:04:20.245 >> [group speaking] Yeah. 00:04:20.245 --> 00:04:20.656 >> All right. 00:04:22.446 --> 00:04:27.516 So, I want you to find, think and find three physical objects in your environment. 00:04:27.516 --> 00:04:28.596 It can be anything. 00:04:28.596 --> 00:04:29.796 It can be your desk. 00:04:29.956 --> 00:04:31.946 Someone sitting next to you. 00:04:31.946 --> 00:04:32.896 Your computer screen. 00:04:32.896 --> 00:04:34.726 A lamp. Literally, anything. 00:04:35.526 --> 00:04:41.626 It's important not to fall into a particular trap that I've seen many people fall in, 00:04:41.906 --> 00:04:45.926 and that is to add subjective descriptors to the object. 00:04:46.046 --> 00:04:48.586 Like, that's my favorite stool. 00:04:49.026 --> 00:04:50.616 Or I really like Johnny. 00:04:51.106 --> 00:04:54.696 When we add these subjective descriptors, adjectives, etcetera, 00:04:54.696 --> 00:04:57.766 it brings about subtle emotional reactions that muddle the process. 00:04:57.766 --> 00:05:00.646 So, you're simply going to say that's a stool. 00:05:01.296 --> 00:05:01.986 Nothing else. 00:05:02.726 --> 00:05:06.136 And when you name the object, you're going to do so in your mind, not out loud. 00:05:06.136 --> 00:05:09.796 If you're doing this at work or on the bus or on the train, people might start to think, 00:05:09.896 --> 00:05:12.976 you know, you're having a little trouble that day. 00:05:12.976 --> 00:05:17.336 Okay. And when you take your breath, you're going to do so through your nose 00:05:17.336 --> 00:05:19.256 or your mouth, whatever is comfortable for you. 00:05:21.286 --> 00:05:25.196 Ultimately, it is best if you choose the object yourself and for the sake of this talk 00:05:25.196 --> 00:05:27.756 and for us to do it together, things to be expeditious, 00:05:28.146 --> 00:05:29.806 I've picked out three objects for us. 00:05:30.436 --> 00:05:34.586 This pointer, that stool, and this screen. 00:05:34.586 --> 00:05:37.446 Ready to give it a try together? 00:05:37.446 --> 00:05:38.026 All right. 00:05:38.026 --> 00:05:38.586 Here we go. 00:05:39.976 --> 00:05:40.856 That's a pointer. 00:05:41.526 --> 00:05:42.186 Take a deep breath [breathing]. 00:05:47.086 --> 00:05:48.066 That's a stool. 00:05:48.846 --> 00:05:49.256 Deep breath [breathing]. 00:05:49.826 --> 00:05:54.726 That's a screen. 00:05:55.656 --> 00:05:59.006 Another deep breath [breathing]. 00:06:01.766 --> 00:06:03.426 So, how do you feel? 00:06:04.996 --> 00:06:06.046 A little less stressed? 00:06:06.796 --> 00:06:08.456 More, a little more relaxed? 00:06:08.916 --> 00:06:09.406 It's good. 00:06:09.406 --> 00:06:11.616 Right. And it's insanely simple. 00:06:12.296 --> 00:06:15.626 I even use it at night if I wake up worried about the children or work 00:06:15.626 --> 00:06:17.366 or whatever it is and I can't get back to sleep. 00:06:17.366 --> 00:06:19.806 And you'd better believe that I was using it behind 00:06:19.806 --> 00:06:24.276 that curtain before coming out here today [laughter]. 00:06:24.276 --> 00:06:26.986 I, backstage, I even did what I call a Nine by Nine, 00:06:26.986 --> 00:06:29.216 which is doing the whole process three times in a row. 00:06:29.216 --> 00:06:31.636 And you can do that, too, if you're ever really in a tight spot 00:06:31.636 --> 00:06:33.216 or coming out to give a TEDx talk. 00:06:35.256 --> 00:06:38.246 So, when are you going to use the Three by Three Method in your life? 00:06:39.096 --> 00:06:45.466 We all experience repeated stressors in our daily lives that tax our ability to stay present 00:06:45.466 --> 00:06:48.586 in the current moment, focus, and manage our stress. 00:06:49.186 --> 00:06:54.366 I want you to take a moment to think about one of these repeated stressors that you experience. 00:06:55.716 --> 00:06:57.206 This shouldn't be too hard. 00:06:58.906 --> 00:06:59.776 Everyone have something? 00:06:59.776 --> 00:07:03.666 Okay. So, let's make a promise to each other. 00:07:04.446 --> 00:07:08.676 The next time that we experience one of these stressors, we'll use the Three 00:07:08.676 --> 00:07:10.946 by Three Method to try and manage it. 00:07:11.796 --> 00:07:12.236 Deal? 00:07:12.236 --> 00:07:13.536 >> [group speaking] Yeah. 00:07:13.536 --> 00:07:18.506 >> Great. So, what is the future of the Three by Three Method? 00:07:18.796 --> 00:07:23.646 The people who are using the Three by Three Method continue to inspire me in the myriad 00:07:23.866 --> 00:07:29.146 of situations and occupations and life settings in which they're using it. 00:07:29.836 --> 00:07:34.326 I have an elite runner using it during long races to keep stamina. 00:07:35.186 --> 00:07:40.556 A spine surgeon using it during complex procedures to stay calm. 00:07:41.296 --> 00:07:44.636 Even a CEO using it right before making big decisions. 00:07:46.366 --> 00:07:49.496 Really, anyone can use it in almost any setting. 00:07:49.896 --> 00:07:53.016 From parents to business people to doctors to athletes, it doesn't matter. 00:07:54.906 --> 00:07:58.146 Finally, the Three by Three Method can be used 00:07:58.246 --> 00:08:02.666 to help us avoid the ever-growing addictive nature 00:08:03.326 --> 00:08:06.806 of the impulse to check our digital devices. 00:08:09.576 --> 00:08:14.576 The next time that you're in line at the store and you have that urge to take your phone out 00:08:15.416 --> 00:08:19.046 and check social media, send a text, read an email. 00:08:20.266 --> 00:08:27.466 Don't. Use the Three by Three Method instead, to bring yourself back to the current moment. 00:08:29.456 --> 00:08:31.046 Every moment has meaning. 00:08:32.106 --> 00:08:33.556 Time is precious. 00:08:34.905 --> 00:08:35.645 Don't miss out. 00:08:37.236 --> 00:08:40.155 Thank you for sharing this moment with me. 00:08:41.515 --> 00:08:47.280 [ Applause ]