1 00:00:00,506 --> 00:00:12,516 [ Music ] 2 00:00:13,516 --> 00:00:18,176 [ Applause ] 3 00:00:18,676 --> 00:00:19,786 >> Mindfulness. 4 00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:23,066 Truly become quite the buzzword in recent times, 5 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,616 even though mindfulness practices have been used for millennia. 6 00:00:26,816 --> 00:00:30,076 Most of us are in agreement that mindfulness practices are a positive thing 7 00:00:30,076 --> 00:00:31,116 and would benefit our life. 8 00:00:31,606 --> 00:00:34,486 There's an abundant amount of research illustrating the positive effect 9 00:00:34,486 --> 00:00:40,646 that mindfulness practices have on quality of life, improved focus, and decreased stress. 10 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,596 From Fortune 500 companies to elementary schools, 11 00:00:44,596 --> 00:00:48,876 mindfulness practices are being used every day in practical application 12 00:00:49,156 --> 00:00:52,036 and controlled studies with wonderful outcomes. 13 00:00:53,266 --> 00:00:58,376 Unfortunately, most of us tend to pump the brakes when we think 14 00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:04,446 about sequestering even a small amount of time or quiet space to practice mindfulness. 15 00:01:05,656 --> 00:01:08,626 You might think to yourself, a quiet space. 16 00:01:09,596 --> 00:01:10,226 Ten minutes. 17 00:01:10,686 --> 00:01:12,426 What? Forget it. 18 00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:15,036 I don't have time. 19 00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:18,676 We allow in the, out of survival and the moment we allow screaming children, 20 00:01:19,216 --> 00:01:22,576 occupational pressures, general life stress, 21 00:01:23,276 --> 00:01:26,746 and technological distractions to consume our precious minutes. 22 00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:32,686 The result of brushing mindfulness practices aside is more stress 23 00:01:32,686 --> 00:01:34,666 and a decreased quality of life. 24 00:01:36,506 --> 00:01:41,886 What if I told you that the benefits of mindfulness could be obtained in as little 25 00:01:41,886 --> 00:01:45,066 as 30 seconds in almost any setting? 26 00:01:45,066 --> 00:01:50,756 You might think that I'm selling snake oil or at a minimum, it's too good to be true. 27 00:01:51,826 --> 00:01:53,926 The reality is it is true. 28 00:01:54,616 --> 00:01:58,856 And is being done regularly by people that I've trained in the method that I'm about to share 29 00:01:58,856 --> 00:02:03,246 with you, ranging from elite athletes to doctors to parents. 30 00:02:05,466 --> 00:02:08,576 I first developed the technique I call the Three by Three Method 31 00:02:08,786 --> 00:02:11,086 when my daughter was about one year old. 32 00:02:12,426 --> 00:02:16,406 For those of you with children, you know that parenting brings about great joy but, 33 00:02:16,406 --> 00:02:18,636 also, an incredible amount of stress. 34 00:02:19,526 --> 00:02:25,706 I found myself in experiencing increased muscle tension, headaches, and anxiety as I rushed 35 00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:29,346 from home to work to home to the playground. 36 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:32,776 To home to bed to work to home to the playground. 37 00:02:32,776 --> 00:02:34,806 And on and on, the carousel went. 38 00:02:34,986 --> 00:02:37,076 I became extremely uncomfortable. 39 00:02:37,626 --> 00:02:40,506 And so, I set out to do something about it. 40 00:02:40,686 --> 00:02:44,466 Now, as a psychotherapist working in the high-pressure environment of the Silicon Valley, 41 00:02:45,126 --> 00:02:48,336 I am inherently passionate about mindfulness techniques. 42 00:02:48,986 --> 00:02:50,016 Thought I had it in the bag. 43 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,396 I set out to give it a try. 44 00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:58,866 Unfortunately, I fell right into the hurry, hurry, hurry, I don't have time trap. 45 00:02:59,936 --> 00:03:00,826 What'd that get me? 46 00:03:01,296 --> 00:03:04,296 More stress, more headaches, more anxiety, the whole thing. 47 00:03:04,296 --> 00:03:09,246 I kept plugging along and still had very little positive result. 48 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,136 So, I thought well, maybe I'll try and get some feedback. 49 00:03:12,216 --> 00:03:15,306 I started wearing a heart rate monitor to gauge my physical response 50 00:03:15,336 --> 00:03:16,976 to different techniques that I was trying. 51 00:03:19,126 --> 00:03:23,146 Kept plugging along and still was not having the type of result that I had hoped for. 52 00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:29,196 Until I paired one of the most basic breathing techniques alongside one 53 00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:31,456 of the most basic mindfulness techniques. 54 00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:32,956 That's when it clicked. 55 00:03:34,716 --> 00:03:35,966 That was the gamechanger. 56 00:03:37,006 --> 00:03:39,326 My heart rate began to drop consistently. 57 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:45,286 My psychological responses to stressors in the environment were significantly altered. 58 00:03:46,286 --> 00:03:48,666 Thus, the Three by Three Method was born. 59 00:03:51,836 --> 00:03:54,666 The Three by Three Method is extremely simple. 60 00:03:56,176 --> 00:04:01,886 All you're going to do is identify one physical object in the environment, name it, 61 00:04:02,306 --> 00:04:04,816 and take one deep breath, and repeat it three times. 62 00:04:06,016 --> 00:04:09,936 Now, keep in mind, most everyone that I've trained in this model looked at me 63 00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:12,636 like I was spouting nonsense until they tried it. 64 00:04:12,636 --> 00:04:15,016 So, you're not alone if you're feeling that same way right now. 65 00:04:15,016 --> 00:04:17,245 And don't worry, we're going to do it together in just a minute. 66 00:04:17,245 --> 00:04:19,636 Okay? Want to do it together? 67 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:20,245 >> [group speaking] Yeah. 68 00:04:20,245 --> 00:04:20,656 >> All right. 69 00:04:22,446 --> 00:04:27,516 So, I want you to find, think and find three physical objects in your environment. 70 00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:28,596 It can be anything. 71 00:04:28,596 --> 00:04:29,796 It can be your desk. 72 00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:31,946 Someone sitting next to you. 73 00:04:31,946 --> 00:04:32,896 Your computer screen. 74 00:04:32,896 --> 00:04:34,726 A lamp. Literally, anything. 75 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:41,626 It's important not to fall into a particular trap that I've seen many people fall in, 76 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:45,926 and that is to add subjective descriptors to the object. 77 00:04:46,046 --> 00:04:48,586 Like, that's my favorite stool. 78 00:04:49,026 --> 00:04:50,616 Or I really like Johnny. 79 00:04:51,106 --> 00:04:54,696 When we add these subjective descriptors, adjectives, etcetera, 80 00:04:54,696 --> 00:04:57,766 it brings about subtle emotional reactions that muddle the process. 81 00:04:57,766 --> 00:05:00,646 So, you're simply going to say that's a stool. 82 00:05:01,296 --> 00:05:01,986 Nothing else. 83 00:05:02,726 --> 00:05:06,136 And when you name the object, you're going to do so in your mind, not out loud. 84 00:05:06,136 --> 00:05:09,796 If you're doing this at work or on the bus or on the train, people might start to think, 85 00:05:09,896 --> 00:05:12,976 you know, you're having a little trouble that day. 86 00:05:12,976 --> 00:05:17,336 Okay. And when you take your breath, you're going to do so through your nose 87 00:05:17,336 --> 00:05:19,256 or your mouth, whatever is comfortable for you. 88 00:05:21,286 --> 00:05:25,196 Ultimately, it is best if you choose the object yourself and for the sake of this talk 89 00:05:25,196 --> 00:05:27,756 and for us to do it together, things to be expeditious, 90 00:05:28,146 --> 00:05:29,806 I've picked out three objects for us. 91 00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:34,586 This pointer, that stool, and this screen. 92 00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:37,446 Ready to give it a try together? 93 00:05:37,446 --> 00:05:38,026 All right. 94 00:05:38,026 --> 00:05:38,586 Here we go. 95 00:05:39,976 --> 00:05:40,856 That's a pointer. 96 00:05:41,526 --> 00:05:42,186 Take a deep breath [breathing]. 97 00:05:47,086 --> 00:05:48,066 That's a stool. 98 00:05:48,846 --> 00:05:49,256 Deep breath [breathing]. 99 00:05:49,826 --> 00:05:54,726 That's a screen. 100 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:59,006 Another deep breath [breathing]. 101 00:06:01,766 --> 00:06:03,426 So, how do you feel? 102 00:06:04,996 --> 00:06:06,046 A little less stressed? 103 00:06:06,796 --> 00:06:08,456 More, a little more relaxed? 104 00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:09,406 It's good. 105 00:06:09,406 --> 00:06:11,616 Right. And it's insanely simple. 106 00:06:12,296 --> 00:06:15,626 I even use it at night if I wake up worried about the children or work 107 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,366 or whatever it is and I can't get back to sleep. 108 00:06:17,366 --> 00:06:19,806 And you'd better believe that I was using it behind 109 00:06:19,806 --> 00:06:24,276 that curtain before coming out here today [laughter]. 110 00:06:24,276 --> 00:06:26,986 I, backstage, I even did what I call a Nine by Nine, 111 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,216 which is doing the whole process three times in a row. 112 00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:31,636 And you can do that, too, if you're ever really in a tight spot 113 00:06:31,636 --> 00:06:33,216 or coming out to give a TEDx talk. 114 00:06:35,256 --> 00:06:38,246 So, when are you going to use the Three by Three Method in your life? 115 00:06:39,096 --> 00:06:45,466 We all experience repeated stressors in our daily lives that tax our ability to stay present 116 00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:48,586 in the current moment, focus, and manage our stress. 117 00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:54,366 I want you to take a moment to think about one of these repeated stressors that you experience. 118 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,206 This shouldn't be too hard. 119 00:06:58,906 --> 00:06:59,776 Everyone have something? 120 00:06:59,776 --> 00:07:03,666 Okay. So, let's make a promise to each other. 121 00:07:04,446 --> 00:07:08,676 The next time that we experience one of these stressors, we'll use the Three 122 00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:10,946 by Three Method to try and manage it. 123 00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:12,236 Deal? 124 00:07:12,236 --> 00:07:13,536 >> [group speaking] Yeah. 125 00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:18,506 >> Great. So, what is the future of the Three by Three Method? 126 00:07:18,796 --> 00:07:23,646 The people who are using the Three by Three Method continue to inspire me in the myriad 127 00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:29,146 of situations and occupations and life settings in which they're using it. 128 00:07:29,836 --> 00:07:34,326 I have an elite runner using it during long races to keep stamina. 129 00:07:35,186 --> 00:07:40,556 A spine surgeon using it during complex procedures to stay calm. 130 00:07:41,296 --> 00:07:44,636 Even a CEO using it right before making big decisions. 131 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:49,496 Really, anyone can use it in almost any setting. 132 00:07:49,896 --> 00:07:53,016 From parents to business people to doctors to athletes, it doesn't matter. 133 00:07:54,906 --> 00:07:58,146 Finally, the Three by Three Method can be used 134 00:07:58,246 --> 00:08:02,666 to help us avoid the ever-growing addictive nature 135 00:08:03,326 --> 00:08:06,806 of the impulse to check our digital devices. 136 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:14,576 The next time that you're in line at the store and you have that urge to take your phone out 137 00:08:15,416 --> 00:08:19,046 and check social media, send a text, read an email. 138 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:27,466 Don't. Use the Three by Three Method instead, to bring yourself back to the current moment. 139 00:08:29,456 --> 00:08:31,046 Every moment has meaning. 140 00:08:32,106 --> 00:08:33,556 Time is precious. 141 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:35,645 Don't miss out. 142 00:08:37,236 --> 00:08:40,155 Thank you for sharing this moment with me. 143 00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:47,280 [ Applause ]