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[ Music ]

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[ Applause ]

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>> Mindfulness.

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Truly become quite the buzzword in recent times,

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even though mindfulness practices[br]have been used for millennia.

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Most of us are in agreement that[br]mindfulness practices are a positive thing

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and would benefit our life.

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There's an abundant amount of research[br]illustrating the positive effect

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that mindfulness practices have on quality of[br]life, improved focus, and decreased stress.

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From Fortune 500 companies[br]to elementary schools,

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mindfulness practices are being used[br]every day in practical application

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and controlled studies with wonderful outcomes.

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Unfortunately, most of us tend[br]to pump the brakes when we think

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about sequestering even a small amount of[br]time or quiet space to practice mindfulness.

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You might think to yourself, a quiet space.

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Ten minutes.

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What? Forget it.

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I don't have time.

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We allow in the, out of survival and[br]the moment we allow screaming children,

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occupational pressures, general life stress,

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and technological distractions[br]to consume our precious minutes.

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The result of brushing mindfulness[br]practices aside is more stress

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and a decreased quality of life.

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What if I told you that the benefits of[br]mindfulness could be obtained in as little

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as 30 seconds in almost any setting?

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You might think that I'm selling snake oil[br]or at a minimum, it's too good to be true.

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The reality is it is true.

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And is being done regularly by people that I've[br]trained in the method that I'm about to share

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with you, ranging from elite[br]athletes to doctors to parents.

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I first developed the technique[br]I call the Three by Three Method

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when my daughter was about one year old.

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For those of you with children, you know[br]that parenting brings about great joy but,

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also, an incredible amount of stress.

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I found myself in experiencing increased muscle[br]tension, headaches, and anxiety as I rushed

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from home to work to home to the playground.

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To home to bed to work to[br]home to the playground.

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And on and on, the carousel went.

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I became extremely uncomfortable.

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And so, I set out to do something about it.

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Now, as a psychotherapist working in the[br]high-pressure environment of the Silicon Valley,

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I am inherently passionate[br]about mindfulness techniques.

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Thought I had it in the bag.

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I set out to give it a try.

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Unfortunately, I fell right into the hurry,[br]hurry, hurry, I don't have time trap.

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What'd that get me?

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More stress, more headaches,[br]more anxiety, the whole thing.

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I kept plugging along and still[br]had very little positive result.

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So, I thought well, maybe I'll[br]try and get some feedback.

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I started wearing a heart rate[br]monitor to gauge my physical response

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to different techniques that I was trying.

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Kept plugging along and still was not having[br]the type of result that I had hoped for.

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Until I paired one of the most basic[br]breathing techniques alongside one

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of the most basic mindfulness techniques.

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That's when it clicked.

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That was the gamechanger.

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My heart rate began to drop consistently.

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My psychological responses to stressors in[br]the environment were significantly altered.

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Thus, the Three by Three Method was born.

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The Three by Three Method is extremely simple.

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All you're going to do is identify one[br]physical object in the environment, name it,

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and take one deep breath,[br]and repeat it three times.

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Now, keep in mind, most everyone that[br]I've trained in this model looked at me

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like I was spouting nonsense[br]until they tried it.

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So, you're not alone if you're[br]feeling that same way right now.

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And don't worry, we're going to[br]do it together in just a minute.

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Okay? Want to do it together?

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>> [group speaking] Yeah.

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>> All right.

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So, I want you to find, think and find[br]three physical objects in your environment.

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It can be anything.

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It can be your desk.

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Someone sitting next to you.

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Your computer screen.

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A lamp. Literally, anything.

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It's important not to fall into a particular[br]trap that I've seen many people fall in,

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and that is to add subjective[br]descriptors to the object.

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Like, that's my favorite stool.

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Or I really like Johnny.

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When we add these subjective[br]descriptors, adjectives, etcetera,

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it brings about subtle emotional[br]reactions that muddle the process.

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So, you're simply going to say that's a stool.

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Nothing else.

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And when you name the object, you're[br]going to do so in your mind, not out loud.

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If you're doing this at work or on the bus[br]or on the train, people might start to think,

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you know, you're having a[br]little trouble that day.

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Okay. And when you take your breath,[br]you're going to do so through your nose

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or your mouth, whatever is comfortable for you.

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Ultimately, it is best if you choose the[br]object yourself and for the sake of this talk

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and for us to do it together,[br]things to be expeditious,

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I've picked out three objects for us.

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This pointer, that stool, and this screen.

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Ready to give it a try together?

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All right.

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Here we go.

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That's a pointer.

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Take a deep breath [breathing].

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That's a stool.

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Deep breath [breathing].

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That's a screen.

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Another deep breath [breathing].

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So, how do you feel?

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A little less stressed?

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More, a little more relaxed?

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It's good.

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Right. And it's insanely simple.

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I even use it at night if I wake up[br]worried about the children or work

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or whatever it is and I can't get back to sleep.

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And you'd better believe[br]that I was using it behind

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that curtain before coming[br]out here today [laughter].

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I, backstage, I even did[br]what I call a Nine by Nine,

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which is doing the whole[br]process three times in a row.

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And you can do that, too, if[br]you're ever really in a tight spot

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or coming out to give a TEDx talk.

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So, when are you going to use the[br]Three by Three Method in your life?

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We all experience repeated stressors in our[br]daily lives that tax our ability to stay present

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in the current moment, focus,[br]and manage our stress.

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I want you to take a moment to think about one[br]of these repeated stressors that you experience.

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This shouldn't be too hard.

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Everyone have something?

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Okay. So, let's make a promise to each other.

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The next time that we experience one[br]of these stressors, we'll use the Three

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by Three Method to try and manage it.

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Deal?

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>> [group speaking] Yeah.

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>> Great. So, what is the future[br]of the Three by Three Method?

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The people who are using the Three by Three[br]Method continue to inspire me in the myriad

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of situations and occupations and life[br]settings in which they're using it.

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I have an elite runner using it[br]during long races to keep stamina.

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A spine surgeon using it during[br]complex procedures to stay calm.

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Even a CEO using it right[br]before making big decisions.

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Really, anyone can use it in almost any setting.

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From parents to business people to[br]doctors to athletes, it doesn't matter.

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Finally, the Three by Three Method can be used

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to help us avoid the ever-growing[br]addictive nature

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of the impulse to check our digital devices.

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The next time that you're in line at the store[br]and you have that urge to take your phone out

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and check social media, send[br]a text, read an email.

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Don't. Use the Three by Three Method instead,[br]to bring yourself back to the current moment.

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Every moment has meaning.

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Time is precious.

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Don't miss out.

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Thank you for sharing this moment with me.

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[ Applause ]