Balloon? Mommy, can I get one? Of course! Thank you Five euros, please Thank you Excuse me, the receipt? Ehm..no No? Well, then no thank you No! No! Leave the pigeons alone! Oh, let him play Are you joking? You don't know the kind of diseases they carry, the cryptochroctosis, it's disgusting!...And the spergillosis? Beautiful, isn't it? Milan, the huge Milan You'll see Silvia, our lives are going to change! Who's that? Oh, It's Mario! Mario? Guess where we are!...What? Look, I cannot talk right now, I'll call you tonight, ok? Bye What's going on? Troubles at work? No...don't worry! Optimism, Silvia, optimism! Gross! Motherfu... Whatever.. What do you mean you cannot do anything about it? It's 15 years I have been working there! Come on, you promised to me! You knew I cared about that! Well...whatever...ok, I understand, I get it. Let me tell you it is not fair, though. Well...ok, bye Mario! Bye SHOES! TV talking What? They refused to transfer me to Milan What? A...disabled person overtook me So, one needs to be handicapped to go and live in Milan now? No, but they have priority...it's fair, come on Yes, but wasn't your friend 'I-will-sort-everything-out" Mario going to help you in this? How long have I been telling you that Mario is 'chaparan'? Daddy! What does 'chaparan' mean? Well, it means he goes aftere rats...I mean, that he's good for nothing With everything you have done for him! It is not like that, it is not Mario's fault, it is not my fault, it is nobody's fault! Daddy, we are not going to Milan anymore, are we? Calm down! We are still going to go to the American school Your MOTHER is going to bring you there anyway, because if it was up to your father... and then you will go to university in Milan, you will become a lawyer, you'll get married, and then you'll buy a house, in Milan, in the center! In Piazza Duomo! ....or he can stay here and marry Pina Pina? And who's that? The daughter of the pizza man at 'Lo Scoglio' Look, Pina is not ugly at all! And do you know how much does the father have in the bank? It can be an eligible girl! Fish-fingers! Fish fingers again? How does Pina look? She looks like a monster, daddy Mario! Are you crazy? Has anybody seen you coming in? Have you talked to anybody? We work at the post office, not at the CIA Don't speak loud, I am risking a lot! What? What are you risking, I didn't even get the job! I have been working my ass off for 15 years in this company Don't scream like this or we are fucked! Mario. Please help me Silvia is not even talking to me anymore Listen, there is another available site in Milan, the present director will retire in a month time It is perfect! Shhhhh!!!! I must get that place! Don't speak loudly, fuck! Here we go Here we go what? Shh! Is that him? Is it the boss? Shut up! Yes? No, no I am not busy Ok, very well...shhh No, I was not ssshhhing you The boss wants to see me, get the hell out of here! ...And if we put on the application that I am handicapped? Are you crazy?! Why? What do I have to lose? If that comes out, I will be in trouble, but you'll be dead Whatever.. I'm coming Thank you doctor....goodbye I am going to prepare a good soup with carrots and butter and a little bit of pork Guys! Excuse me! Couples on the other side, please.. Take him down! Block him! Struck him! Stop! He's my husband! I got the transfer! To Milan! Are we going to Milan..? Yes! Really? Excuse me Director! Tell me There is an inspector who is looking for you An inspector? Which inspector? From the higher administration he says it is regarding your transfer Ehm....let him wait...five minutes To Milan! Shit! Shit, I had to try it first... Noooo! Nooo! Good morning Good morning I am Alberto Colombo did you want to see me? I just wanted to get some details with respect to your transfer Do you need help? Oh no, it's the kids, they always make jokes....they like to pierce the wheels Here we go. Have a sit, please What can I do for you? How long have you been disabled for? Well, it is not easy for me to talk about this, but I was very young And the memory is blurred Going with my mind through those memories is terrible A muscular spasm Ok, it is gone. Tell me Mr. Colombo, there have been two applications filed under your name A recent one, for a person with limited mobility ..and another one dated three months ago, for a walking person Is it the same person Mr. Colombo? Yes, it was me who filed these applications The one I filed as a healthy person.. I have done it.. Because...I wanted my wanted my application to be... ...considered as equal as everybody else's It is important for us disabled to see in the eyes of people like you, normal people, something that goes beyond simple pity It is very honorable Thank you But if this will count against my transfer, I.. No, no, it is only a general but necessary verification of your status you know, we often have to deal with fake applications of people who want to go to Milan Oh yeah? Yes, it happens often Shameful But this is not your case mr. Colombo you'll be just fine in Milan Thank you Well, I won't going to bother you more with this Oh, you are not bothering me at all Well, goodbye mr... Goodbye.. Mario, please.. We are friends.. Friends? Friends?! I am not friend with an asshole who pretends to be handicapped I know, I did it for Silvia I shouln't have Sit down.. I regret it Mario Sit down Alberto: I have a good news and a bad news I am suspended, am I not? Worse Fired? Worse still Worse than fired, what is it? Transferred to the South South like Bologna? Not Bologna, south south Don't tell me Rome, you know I dislike Rome No, don't worry, it is not Rome, it's much more South Sicily?! No, before Sicily there is Campania You have been transferred close to Naples Naples? But it is horrifying, Mario! You'll start this coming Monday What do you mean Monday? I have no light clothes, no place to sleep.. Look, we offer accommodation for the director of the post office But where are you sending me exactly? Castellabbate Castellabbate? Well...what's the good news? I just told you And the bad one? You're gonna stay there for two years Two years? Minimum Two years in Naples? Mario.. Look Alberto, either the South, or you get fired because of big responsabilities Two years in Naples? I will die Now! Go..go..I am sorry Mario you cannot do this to me Help me! Alberto, I don't know what else to do Mario! Mr. Director Good morning, come on in Hi Honey Hi love Hi Daddy! Hi Chicco! Are we eating yet? Yes, everything is ready! Look, what a shame, the beautiful house I had found next to my parents' My mom has written down all the names in the intercom and she wrote them down Esposito, Coppola, Wanga, Ahmed, Beretta, Gargiulo, and Capuozzo Now, apart from Beretta, they all look like names from the Equator so it's better than we let go and look for another place Don't worry They are not sending me to Milan anymore So, dinner? What? What does that mean, that another handicapped took us over? They found something much much better Ah, and where? To 'Chateu de la Bait' Where? Castellabbate A smiling city next to.. ...Naples Extraordinary What did say? Extraordinary Before Smiling city After Next to Naples Naples?! In order to get the place in Milan I pretended to be disabled You pretended to be..? What an assh.. I can't believe I married such a... Such a... Chicco! Asshole! You are going there alone! Put it in your head: you're going alone! Chicco! Pajamas! To bed! Let's go! What an asshole.. Mommy, I am scared of Chateau le Bait Illustruous Academy of Gorgonzola I declare mr. Petazzoni Illustruous Academic of Gorgonzola D.O.C. Lower Italy is such a bad thing I know it because my mother, when I was young, she was getting fucked by a Teru'! By who? A redneck The problem over there is that they are all rednecks, men, women, children everybody is a redneck also the animals,cats are redneck, dogs are redneck, the cows, the chickens, the veals are all redneck and they only speak Teru' and you don't understand anything when you think you have understood something, you realize they are fooling around with you in front of you, they are all nice, and good, as they say, they are 'hospitable' but they are really all from Camorra Moreover, I suffered from the heat Is it hot? Winter so so, but during the summer the sun goes up up until 39, 40 degrees So you think inside it would be colder 50 degrees instead! Is it hotter inside than outside? Yes, because they have shitty house made out of shit over 30 years ago How is life over there? Well, it is hard, those who live good are with the Camorra they live good, but the rest is all poor As they say,'you see Naples and then you die' Yes, you die murdered