1 00:00:09,771 --> 00:00:14,214 (Latin American Music) 2 00:00:38,211 --> 00:00:42,527 (Applause) (Music) 3 00:00:43,578 --> 00:00:46,871 (Music) 4 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,279 Man: I'm just going to be in the green room in the back 5 00:00:51,279 --> 00:00:53,828 if you really want to talk about some, after you're done. 6 00:00:53,828 --> 00:00:55,655 Chen Lizra: Just give me the clicker. 7 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,834 Man: OK. Got your clicker here. 8 00:00:57,834 --> 00:00:58,966 Thank you. 9 00:00:58,966 --> 00:01:00,493 Whoo! 10 00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:01,613 Man: Really? 11 00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:03,821 CL: I guess you don't need coffee now, do you? 12 00:01:03,821 --> 00:01:05,131 Man: Well, right. 13 00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:07,203 CL: My name is Chen Lizra. 14 00:01:07,203 --> 00:01:10,556 I'm a dancer, author and an entrepreneur. 15 00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:13,567 I started my talk with a seductive dance 16 00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:15,529 because I want you to first feel the seduction, 17 00:01:15,529 --> 00:01:18,245 to get you -- kind of -- to gut level. 18 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:22,240 I'm fascinated with seduction, but not just with the dance and the movements, 19 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:27,286 but also with how you can bring it in a practical way into day-to-day life. 20 00:01:27,939 --> 00:01:31,677 Since 2005, I've been travelling back and forth to Cuba 21 00:01:31,677 --> 00:01:34,633 in order to train with the best professional dancers. 22 00:01:34,633 --> 00:01:39,673 This is when I first started seeing seduction as a valuable life skill. 23 00:01:41,358 --> 00:01:43,449 I'm so fascinated with seduction, 24 00:01:43,449 --> 00:01:47,777 but mostly because it's such a playful fun thing. 25 00:01:48,445 --> 00:01:52,742 I truly believe that everyone has the power to seduce in them, 26 00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:54,818 we just need to unleash it. 27 00:01:54,818 --> 00:01:57,510 And I also believe that we need to develop this skill 28 00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,703 from a very young age, so it can help us 29 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,857 become a lot more successful in life. 30 00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,246 So let's examine seduction for a second, 31 00:02:05,246 --> 00:02:07,713 and let's take a look at our perception of seduction, 32 00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:09,668 what it all means. 33 00:02:09,668 --> 00:02:12,575 When we first hear the word "seduction", 34 00:02:12,575 --> 00:02:14,553 we have a lot of misconceptions. 35 00:02:14,553 --> 00:02:16,799 The word has been sexualized so many times 36 00:02:16,799 --> 00:02:21,263 that we can't even imagine it as a positive skillset. 37 00:02:21,263 --> 00:02:24,476 We typically associate seduction with something negative, 38 00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:28,622 because we consider it the less honest or acceptable form of influence. 39 00:02:28,622 --> 00:02:30,663 People who are easily seduced 40 00:02:30,663 --> 00:02:33,839 to some degree feel manipulated into the situation. 41 00:02:33,839 --> 00:02:37,673 When we think of gender roles, it's not even a question 42 00:02:37,673 --> 00:02:41,374 that men are permitted a lot more freedom than women to seduce. 43 00:02:41,374 --> 00:02:43,398 And when we think of work and seduction, 44 00:02:43,398 --> 00:02:48,200 we merely go to sleeping your way to the top and being unprofessional. 45 00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:52,916 You know how people say, some people say that money's bad, 46 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:56,234 but the money itself is not bad, right? 47 00:02:56,241 --> 00:03:00,496 It comes down to money gives you power, 48 00:03:00,496 --> 00:03:02,716 and power can be used for good and for bad; 49 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,263 it comes down to who you are inside. 50 00:03:05,263 --> 00:03:07,221 Seduction is exactly the same, 51 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:10,563 it comes down to your DNA and what you choose to do with it. 52 00:03:10,563 --> 00:03:13,410 I choose to make seduction classy, 53 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:17,579 and to add to it my sense of loyalty and integrity. 54 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:24,867 Seduction is really about your untapped power 55 00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:28,379 that you're not using, that you want to unleash. 56 00:03:29,074 --> 00:03:32,124 Would we tell superman not to stop a bullet? 57 00:03:32,650 --> 00:03:35,658 Or a doctor not to save a life? 58 00:03:35,658 --> 00:03:37,837 But, of course, not. 59 00:03:37,837 --> 00:03:43,223 Seduction is about charm, connection, vulnerability, pride, 60 00:03:46,163 --> 00:03:49,505 self-confidence and appeal. 61 00:03:51,118 --> 00:03:55,550 I'm one of those lucky ones, that gets to go to Cuba all the time. 62 00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:59,746 And I've been observing this culture for a very long time, 63 00:04:00,243 --> 00:04:04,820 seeing how aware they seem to be of their seductive powers. 64 00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,913 You can say that in many ways, 65 00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:10,662 Cuba has been like a seduction laboratory for me, 66 00:04:10,662 --> 00:04:15,203 where I get to study seduction and understand how they use it better. 67 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:18,329 But it's not like Cubans are the only people in the world 68 00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:20,575 that understand how to use seduction, right? 69 00:04:20,575 --> 00:04:22,599 You can experience it in other countries in the world: 70 00:04:22,599 --> 00:04:26,606 in Israel, in Brazil and the Dominicans and many other countries. 71 00:04:26,606 --> 00:04:30,465 And yet in Cuba I found a combination of things, 72 00:04:30,465 --> 00:04:32,575 a very unique combination of things, 73 00:04:32,575 --> 00:04:34,724 that I haven't found yet anywhere else in the world, 74 00:04:34,724 --> 00:04:38,175 and I'll speak about some of them today. 75 00:04:38,175 --> 00:04:40,314 And you'll probably agree with me when I say 76 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:44,316 that the chances of finding this kind of seduction out in the open 77 00:04:44,316 --> 00:04:48,278 in North America is pretty close to slim, right? 78 00:04:48,278 --> 00:04:52,412 I truly believe that we can learn a valuable life lesson 79 00:04:52,412 --> 00:04:55,567 from Cubans about life and seduction. 80 00:04:55,822 --> 00:05:00,141 And having said that, if we were to try and take seduction 81 00:05:00,707 --> 00:05:05,487 and break it into some kind of a formula, what would that look like? 82 00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:09,554 One: desire -- start taking notes! 83 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:14,341 Desire means knowing what you want 84 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:18,170 and then having the willingness to go after it. 85 00:05:19,999 --> 00:05:25,202 In Cuba, rumba is the game of seduction between the man and the woman. 86 00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:28,618 The woman is the flirty hen and the guy is the seductive rooster. 87 00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:35,201 The woman uses her body to seduce the men to say, "Want it? Come and get it." 88 00:05:36,022 --> 00:05:38,942 The guy on the other hand will use his body 89 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,906 to demonstrate his masculinity. 90 00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,339 He'll try to decoy her. Boom! 91 00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:46,643 Launching an attack. (Laughter) 92 00:05:47,645 --> 00:05:51,481 He's trying to pecker her and get her pregnant. 93 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:56,411 She'll notice the attack, she'll block it, 94 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,267 she'll mock him for not succeeding, 95 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:03,496 and she'll go, "Didn't make it. Try again." 96 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:09,784 Cubans interact on the streets everyday, as if they're playing the game of rumba. 97 00:06:10,372 --> 00:06:14,169 They keep a tension, a sexy tension, always alive. 98 00:06:14,169 --> 00:06:17,123 It's like, you could almost have it, but not. 99 00:06:17,123 --> 00:06:20,030 But if you only tried, then maybe. 100 00:06:20,057 --> 00:06:22,057 (Laughter) 101 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:28,270 Keeping the "maybe" alive is the skill of presenting potential possibilities 102 00:06:28,561 --> 00:06:31,810 and then fuelling them with desire. 103 00:06:32,424 --> 00:06:35,877 It's about learning where the emotional buttons are, 104 00:06:35,877 --> 00:06:38,774 and then triggering them. 105 00:06:39,848 --> 00:06:43,563 When there is real desire, even if it's hidden, 106 00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:46,131 it's possible to lure it out. 107 00:06:46,131 --> 00:06:49,261 But you really got to get what the other person is missing, 108 00:06:49,261 --> 00:06:51,323 and then give it to them. 109 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:56,236 And when it's done right, it's virtually impossible to say "no" to. 110 00:06:57,106 --> 00:07:00,127 Number two: confidence. 111 00:07:00,818 --> 00:07:03,993 Strong self-confidence is essential for seduction; 112 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:07,678 without it you can't go after what you want. 113 00:07:08,446 --> 00:07:11,948 Our self-image is formed at a very young age 114 00:07:12,456 --> 00:07:15,739 and is deeply affected by our environment. 115 00:07:16,304 --> 00:07:19,944 Cubans praise their kids from a very young age 116 00:07:19,944 --> 00:07:22,682 to feel confident and stunning in their own bodies, 117 00:07:22,682 --> 00:07:26,351 because they recognize this is a very valuable life skill. 118 00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:29,980 You'll see them at the pool at the hotel, the music is like blasting, 119 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,261 they're grinding to the music, and the little ones 120 00:07:32,261 --> 00:07:35,197 are grinding right beside them, and they'll turn to them and say, 121 00:07:35,197 --> 00:07:38,792 "Que lindo!" or "Que linda eres!" -- "You're so beautiful!" 122 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,442 Add to this that in Cuba there is no advertising, 123 00:07:42,957 --> 00:07:44,954 because it's a communist country, 124 00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:48,242 so there's nothing that distorts the body image. 125 00:07:48,611 --> 00:07:52,452 Cubans, not like us, are not affected 126 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:58,111 by the media to try and think that they need a perfect body. 127 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:02,042 Instead their self-image is formed out of how stunning 128 00:08:02,042 --> 00:08:07,259 the environment makes them feel, and how much love they get at home. 129 00:08:08,747 --> 00:08:11,306 As a result of all of this, 130 00:08:11,306 --> 00:08:15,665 Cubans grow up feeling intense pride and self-confidence, 131 00:08:15,665 --> 00:08:18,573 no matter what body type or shape they might have. 132 00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:21,689 And it's this kind of self-confidence that leads later on 133 00:08:21,706 --> 00:08:24,442 to how you present yourself in all areas of your life 134 00:08:24,442 --> 00:08:27,013 and how you succeed. 135 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,714 Body language. 136 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:32,267 When you walk on the streets of Havana, 137 00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:36,266 guys and girls check each other out, in the open, all the time. 138 00:08:36,477 --> 00:08:38,265 They're not trying to hide it. 139 00:08:38,265 --> 00:08:41,828 And guys call after women with "Linda!", "Preciosa!" 140 00:08:41,828 --> 00:08:44,430 And women respond with how they hold their bodies, 141 00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:47,127 and how they accentuate their curves when they walk, 142 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,822 because they know they're being noticed and admired, 143 00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:52,154 and they like it. 144 00:08:53,218 --> 00:08:57,239 It makes it really easy to seduce and be seduced, 145 00:08:57,459 --> 00:09:01,155 because you know what the other person is feeling. 146 00:09:02,171 --> 00:09:06,045 Seduction also shows up in the tone of your voice, 147 00:09:06,349 --> 00:09:10,228 the kind of look you give, what you say and how you say it, 148 00:09:10,588 --> 00:09:14,024 and at times, even adding a little touch. 149 00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:18,283 Body language is very important for seduction 150 00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:20,697 because it communicates to the other person 151 00:09:20,697 --> 00:09:22,694 what you want. 152 00:09:23,071 --> 00:09:25,768 Number four: arousal. 153 00:09:26,495 --> 00:09:28,974 To effectively seduce someone 154 00:09:28,974 --> 00:09:32,482 there has to be an activation of the arousal, 155 00:09:32,911 --> 00:09:37,248 waking up in them the desire to give you what you want 156 00:09:37,769 --> 00:09:40,251 and luring it out. 157 00:09:40,769 --> 00:09:44,295 But first, you have to connect and interact with the other person, 158 00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:46,916 if not, then how will you get to their heart? 159 00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:49,564 And for seduction to really work, 160 00:09:49,564 --> 00:09:54,228 you have to give it your undivided attention, in a moment. 161 00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:59,210 One of the most charming things that I've noticed about Cuban men, 162 00:09:59,447 --> 00:10:03,529 is how they to go after what they want completely fearless of the consequences 163 00:10:03,529 --> 00:10:05,764 of getting hurt or getting rejected. 164 00:10:05,764 --> 00:10:11,422 They will seduce a woman over and over, making her feel desired and special, 165 00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:13,872 even after she said "no" a couple of times, 166 00:10:13,872 --> 00:10:18,026 slowly sneaking into her heart and waking up that desire. 167 00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:22,665 In a "no" there was a "maybe" turns into a "yes". 168 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:25,487 That's damn sexy. 169 00:10:25,871 --> 00:10:30,933 This fearlessness of failure is a profoundly powerful capability 170 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,481 that I've noticed in some of the most seductive people 171 00:10:33,481 --> 00:10:35,786 that I've ever met. 172 00:10:35,786 --> 00:10:37,387 But they can do this 173 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,587 because they've developed their intuitions so much, 174 00:10:40,587 --> 00:10:43,362 that they can easily distinguish between a "no" that means a "no", 175 00:10:43,362 --> 00:10:45,130 and a "no" that means "maybe", 176 00:10:45,130 --> 00:10:50,016 because the last thing you want to do is not accept a "no" that means a "no". 177 00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:53,449 So what I really want you to get 178 00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:56,814 is that everyone has the power to seduce in them. 179 00:10:56,814 --> 00:11:01,161 The trick is to learn how to use it and when. 180 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,841 Seduction is a skill no matter how you look at it. 181 00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:09,418 You can call it: wooing, persuading, 182 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:12,160 winning someone over, charming, it doesn't really matter. 183 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,322 But what it is, is really about using all of the elements 184 00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:20,351 that I talked about here in the talk, which is one: desire, two: confidence, 185 00:11:20,351 --> 00:11:23,483 three: body language, four: arousal, 186 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:27,849 to build the connection that gets you what you want. 187 00:11:29,318 --> 00:11:34,464 It's also important to remember that seduction is not a science, 188 00:11:35,243 --> 00:11:39,626 but an art, and that's the beauty of it, it comes from the heart. 189 00:11:39,626 --> 00:11:42,960 And like any art, it can definitely be taught. 190 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:47,861 But to fully gain self-expression in it, you have to take the time to master it, 191 00:11:47,861 --> 00:11:50,289 and make it your own. 192 00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:53,793 My hope is that you will see seduction 193 00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:57,143 as a valuable life skill, as I've learned to. 194 00:11:57,143 --> 00:12:00,194 Because so many people lose that childlike attitude 195 00:12:00,194 --> 00:12:03,427 as they grow into adulthood, and something's missing. 196 00:12:03,427 --> 00:12:07,257 And wouldn't the world be a better place if we didn't. 197 00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:12,250 I really believe that seduction leads to self-confidence, 198 00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:17,696 and self-confidence leads to success in all areas of your life. 199 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:23,201 Master seduction and you can have anything that you want in life. 200 00:12:23,979 --> 00:12:25,796 Anything. 201 00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:27,817 I did get a TED Talk, didn't I? 202 00:12:27,817 --> 00:12:29,697 (Laughter) 203 00:12:29,697 --> 00:12:30,987 Thank you. 204 00:12:30,987 --> 00:12:33,684 (Applause)