WEBVTT

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Whatís up guys? Ah, Iím sorry! Did I interrupt,

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just give me 5 minutes of your time and youíll
get back to watching your inter-racial gay

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Japanese midget zombie p0%n, you are the one
who watches it, not me! Alright, I used to

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think Planking was the stupidest thing ever
until I saw this video.

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[Planking Fail - Clip]
(across the kitchen sink and the stove using

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the stoveís handle opening the stoves door
plummeting to the floor with the stove)

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Ya, thatís what you get! Thatís what you

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get for planking! That s(beep)t is as stupid
as hell, anyone who is cool, should go plank

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in the middle of the f(beep)n freeway. (Go
Plank on the 405). Anyway, I get that this

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girl was trying to be funny and it worked
cause I laughed my @ss off at her failure.

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Girl you can be funny all you want (Balls
were the last think to her her chin that hard!)

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all you want as long as you donít leave the
kitchen. Let the dirty dishes laugh at your

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jokes. This video got, who knows how many
views, (broken) Youtubeís view counter has

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been messed up all week. But I do know this
video has been passed around a lot. Girl we

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know youíre just so excited because you just
got this pink vibrator over here, but thatís

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no reason to (Notice the P&n^s Contour) to
f(beep) up a perfectly perfect kitchen. (To

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hide the stank from her vibrator) Itís not
a vibrator itís a can of Febreze, or something!

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Do you know why Planking sucks, planking sucks
cause you just lie there (D.F.S) (A.K.A) and

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you donít do s(beep)t. Youíre like every
girl I (dead fish syndrome) f(beep)in hooked

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up with.

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[Cool Transition]

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Again, Youtubeís view counter is broken (Hey

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Youtube fix your F(beep)ing Counter!) This
next video got passed around a lot, it got

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passed around like, actually Iím out of analogizes
for getting passed around. It got passed around

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like a WHORE ñ you happy! So thereís this
car driving around and they have a camera

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on their dashboard. Cause you know putting
a camera in your dash-board (I usually hide

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them in the womenís restroom) is what normal
people do. Then of course, something unfortunate

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happens.

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[Deer Hit By Two Cars - Clip]

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now if you werenít fully disturbed or traumatized

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by that, Iím gonna go ahead and show it to
you again in slow motion. See there, the Deer

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getís hit by car number one, and again by
car number two. Now of course this video is

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both incredible and unfortunate (A Doe) And
Iím gonna take a wild guess, just a shot

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(A Deer) in the dark here, I donít wanna
really know, but Iím gonna guess (a dead

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f(beep)ing deer) and say that the Deer is
dead. I mean, he did get hit by two cars,

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wtf do you want me to tell you. Oh, heís
heís fine. Just resting his eyes. No, heís

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dead. (Alive??) Iím not a doctor but that
does not look (or f(beep)ing dead?) good for

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Bambi there. f(beep)ing dead! Now, donít
get mad at me, I didnít kill the Deer, I

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didnít (I was busy shooting a sn&ff film)
film the f(beep)ing video! I mean, I donít

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film interracial gay, Japanese midget zombie
p0%n. Do you get mad at me when you watch

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that!

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Itís black
Itís white

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Itís gay
Itís Japanese

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Itís small
Itís dead

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright guys, last video itís a freak out

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video and I know we havenít seen one of these
in a while. Ya, itís this dude here.

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Ah, yes, Iím covering his eyes up because

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he is being very provocative cause I donít
want any one to take the s(beep)t he says

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seriously.

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[Jared Milton ñ Leave Justin Bieber Alone
- Flips Out Over Justin Bieber - Clip]

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This message is for Justin Bieber haters,
you f(beep)in d(beep)k heads.

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright, you get that, heís upset because

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of all the hate people are giving Justin Bieber.

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[Jared Milton ñ Leave Justin Bieber Alone
- Flips Out Over Justin Bieber - Clip]

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If you have a problem with me or you have
a problem with Justin so take it out with

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my face cause I can do things to you people,
I got connections, I can have you arrested.

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I can hack you.

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Well, he is right about one thing, Justin

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Bieber does get too much hate. (never had
the beiber fever) I donít really get into

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his music but whatever, heís just a dude
singing songs. I ñ honestly I jealous as

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s(beep)t of Justin Bieber. I mean, would I
personally accept millions of dollars to sing

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popular songs and f(beep)k Selina Gomez? Wait!
Is she eight-teen? (YES) yes, she is. Yes!

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(her 19th Birthday is Friday!) yes, I would
do it. Now (19 = Super Legal) that being said

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this dude in the video, heís being a little
melodramatic.

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[Jared Milton ñ Official Warning To Justin
Bieber Haters - Flips Out Over Justin Bieber

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- Clip]
Cause you will spend a jail sentence. I had

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f(beep)in enough of you. f(beep) you haters,
thinking you know, you can push us around,

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when you can. You canít pus us around! You
canít tell us what to do! Cause you canít

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control us anymore! OK! So youíre all getting
in trouble. Youíre all getting hacked!

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Dude, come on! Itís the internet! The internet

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is a place where anyone with a tiny (or inverted
p%n^s) p%n^s can go and hate on on things,

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its just the way it works. Ya, of course I
make that joke and I hated on planking cause

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I walked right in on that one. Now this guys
has done more than one video saying heís

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gonna do this or that on anyone who hates
on Justin Bieber which is why I think the

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video is fake and I think the whole thing
is just an act. I know I say that a lot but

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serious. My guess, heís trying to get internet
popularity or something, trust me! dude, I

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got internet popularity, itís not all that
great. Iím not f(beep)in chick like Selena

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Gomez. LYBIO.net Look, look, you wanna see
a picture of the girl Iím dating right there.

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[photo of girl/guy with big teeth) And she's
not even that into me, she's like, you need

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to me more like Justin Bieber. And I'm 90%
sure the b(beep)s got a d^7k, now if the guy

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in the video isn't faking which he is, he's
running adds against it, its a b(beep)in act.

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But if he isn't faking, dude, you need to
calm the hell down! I mean, Justin Bieber

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doesn't (J-beebs don't give a f(beep)~) give
a f(beep) so why should you? So leave the

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dude alone! You know what? If you wanna hate
on on someone go ahead (walk the plank?) hate

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on people who engage in planking they f(beep)in
deserve it! You guys, about an hour ago I

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wrote that joke about inter-racial, gay, Japanese,
midget, zombie, p0%n. And I started thinking

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to myself, is - is that actually a thing,
so I Google it and this is the picture that

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came up. (homosexuals are gay) You could not
have said it better. Ah, myself. That is the

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cold truth. Which is a nice segg way into
the comment question of the day which comes

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from a chick named bam (gabbysantomauro) and
she said:

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[gabbysantomauro]
If you could perform any spell on Ray which

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one would it be?

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[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Oh, this should be good. So if you could perform

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any spell on me what would it be?

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[Ray William Johnson]
Leave your interesting and creative responses

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in the comment section below, or on Facebook
or Twitter or Google plus or any other (@dult

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friend finder?) f(beep)in social networking
website thatís out there.

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[Cool Transition]

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[Ray William Johnson]
But thanks for watching todayís episode of

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Equals Three, Iím Ray William Johnson, and
I approve this message. So tell me guys, why

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does everyone hate on Gingers?

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[Outer]
(The outer song Ray William Johnson ñ Stalkiní

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Your Mom.)