1
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Picture a child sitting next to a projector

2
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learning from your films

3
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to become a much better director

4
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now picture a 3 billion dollar

5
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dream machine

6
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who can block bust all over

7
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your crop duster scene

8
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try to Duel with me Alfred

9
00:00:20,911 --> 00:00:22,129
you must be Psycho

10
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I'll bring back JAWS

11
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and take a bite of your LIfeboat

12
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I'm Always so on top of my game

13
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I get the Vertigo

14
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my jet's in the Terminal

15
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waiting for me to Murder! ya

16
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I rock the Academy and the DGA

17
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,162
you rock as many Oscars

18
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as that schlep Michael Bay

19
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next time you're filling up those jowls

20
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with three steaks and soufflé

21
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check the trades

22
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see me Amblin to my next big play

23
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I produce cartoons

24
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and make games for all ages

25
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you produce Jimmy Stewart

26
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making one of two faces

27
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maybe next time I visit

28
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you'll be a bit more gracious

29
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now kiss my full moon

30
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and just bask in my greatness

31
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that was a close encounter

32
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of the turd kind

33
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but there won't be

34
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a pretty ending this time

35
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half your billions

36
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should go to John Williams

37
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now brace yourself

38
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as I reveal my brilliance

39
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I'm the master

40
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of suspense

41
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so intense

42
00:01:01,546 --> 00:01:02,936
no defense against Hitchcock

43
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once he presents

44
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my skill is enormous

45
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orchestrate brilliant performance

46
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you're more horrible than

47
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Megan Fox's acting in Transformers

48
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c'mon

49
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fish puppets and Muppets

50
00:01:10,735 --> 00:01:11,947
to stir the fears up

51
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I squeeze screams out of chocolate syrup

52
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I'm the best mamma-jamma

53
00:01:15,244 --> 00:01:16,429
ever stood behind the camera

54
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damage panderers

55
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and haunt you like the last Indiana

56
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Cut gimmie a Tylenol

57
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stop rhyming y'all

58
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Alfred you got no style dog

59
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I'm the king of dialogue

60
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there's only one movie I know you from

61
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and I've seen more blood in the shower

62
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when I stubbed my toe in one

63
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you tried to fight in World War I

64
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but couldn't do that

65
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the British army wouldn't let you join

66
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cause you were too fat

67
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look it up it's a true fact

68
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Wikipedia that

69
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now allow me to attack

70
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Steven the hack

71
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due to War of the Worlds

72
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a failure's what I label you

73
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it looked like some sellout bullshit

74
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Michael Bay would do

75
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ask anybody

76
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what's your favorite Sam Jackson part?

77
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no one's gonna say

78
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what's his name from Jurassic Park

79
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the scripts that I write ain't the

80
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cleanest

81
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but when I grip mics I'm the

82
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meanest

83
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Quentin Tarantino is a

84
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genius

85
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:53,721
a bad mother fucker

86
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from the wallet to the penis

87
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Genius is a powerful word

88
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but there's no reason to use it

89
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less you're talking about the Kubrick

90
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then there's really nothing to it

91
00:02:14,151 --> 00:02:16,035
everything I do is visionary

92
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every single frame a painting

93
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made exactly how I wanna make it

94
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do another take and get it right

95
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127 times

96
00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:24,308
I'll make you learn to love me

97
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I'm the bomb

98
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drop ultraviolent rhymes

99
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like Clockwork

100
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make you all hurt

101
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beat Spielberg The Color Purple

102
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A.I. is the worst waste of potential

103
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since the Ninja Turtles

104
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That's enough

105
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I've heard enough crap from all of you

106
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why don't I come down there

107
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and show you what a real star can do

108
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I swoop low with the telephoto

109
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no Bruckheimer I work solo

110
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if there's one thing I've learned bitch

111
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this game is about

112
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mother fucking money

113
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I make that dollar y'all

114
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mother fucking money

115
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even make Mark Wahlberg

116
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make some mother fucking money

117
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I set up shop and got a few drops

118
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of that Got Milk money

119
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rose to The Rock

120
00:02:55,286 --> 00:02:57,448
now I got that socks made of silk money

121
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I ain't got that guilt money

122
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I don't give a fuck

123
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I take my checks to the bank

124
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and I sign'em with my nuts

125
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I give the people what they love

126
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while the critics say I'm evil

127
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got no time to read reviews

128
00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:09,528
while I'm working on the sequel

129
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got a gift from above

130
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and the eyes of an eagle

131
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when it comes to blowing up

132
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no director is my equal

133
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Who won?

134
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Who's next?

135
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You decide