0:00:10.178,0:00:12.152
Picture a child sitting next to a projector

0:00:12.152,0:00:13.237
learning from your films

0:00:13.237,0:00:14.781
to become a much better director

0:00:14.781,0:00:16.430
now picture a 3 billion dollar

0:00:16.430,0:00:17.167
dream machine

0:00:17.167,0:00:18.280
who can block bust all over

0:00:18.280,0:00:19.508
your crop duster scene

0:00:19.508,0:00:20.951
try to Duel with me Alfred

0:00:20.951,0:00:22.129
you must be Psycho

0:00:22.129,0:00:23.130
I'll bring back JAWS

0:00:23.130,0:00:24.675
and take a bite of your LIfeboat

0:00:24.675,0:00:26.239
I'm Always so on top of my game

0:00:26.239,0:00:27.173
I get the Vertigo

0:00:27.173,0:00:28.254
my jet's in the Terminal

0:00:28.254,0:00:29.574
waiting for me to Murder! ya

0:00:29.574,0:00:31.060
I rock the Academy and the DGA

0:00:31.060,0:00:33.042
you rock as many Oscars

0:00:33.042,0:00:34.495
as that schlep Michael Bay

0:00:34.495,0:00:35.717
next time you're filling up those jowls

0:00:35.717,0:00:36.922
with three steaks and soufflé

0:00:36.922,0:00:37.994
check the trades

0:00:37.994,0:00:39.283
see me Amblin to my next big play

0:00:39.283,0:00:40.403
I produce cartoons

0:00:40.403,0:00:41.903
and make games for all ages

0:00:41.903,0:00:43.038
you produce Jimmy Stewart

0:00:43.038,0:00:44.461
making one of two faces

0:00:44.461,0:00:45.464
maybe next time I visit

0:00:45.464,0:00:46.916
you'll be a bit more gracious

0:00:46.916,0:00:48.031
now kiss my full moon

0:00:48.031,0:00:49.545
and just bask in my greatness

0:00:49.545,0:00:50.671
that was a close encounter

0:00:50.671,0:00:51.846
of the turd kind

0:00:51.846,0:00:52.973
but there won't be

0:00:52.973,0:00:54.333
a pretty ending this time

0:00:54.333,0:00:55.488
half your billions

0:00:55.488,0:00:56.696
should go to John Williams

0:00:56.696,0:00:57.769
now brace yourself

0:00:57.769,0:00:59.244
as I reveal my brilliance

0:00:59.244,0:01:00.061
I'm the master

0:01:00.061,0:01:01.033
of suspense

0:01:01.033,0:01:01.616
so intense

0:01:01.616,0:01:02.906
no defense against Hitchcock

0:01:02.906,0:01:04.003
once he presents

0:01:04.003,0:01:05.279
my skill is enormous

0:01:05.279,0:01:06.630
orchestrate brilliant performance

0:01:06.630,0:01:07.664
you're more horrible than

0:01:07.664,0:01:09.219
Megan Fox's acting in Transformers

0:01:09.219,0:01:09.965
c'mon

0:01:09.965,0:01:10.765
fish puppets and Muppets

0:01:10.765,0:01:11.767
to stir the fears up

0:01:11.767,0:01:13.979
I squeeze screams out of chocolate syrup

0:01:13.979,0:01:15.204
I'm the best mamma-jamma

0:01:15.204,0:01:16.379
ever stood behind the camera

0:01:16.379,0:01:17.413
damage panderers

0:01:17.413,0:01:19.069
and haunt you like the last Indiana

0:01:19.069,0:01:20.513
Cut gimmie a Tylenol

0:01:20.513,0:01:21.231
stop rhyming y'all

0:01:21.231,0:01:22.488
Alfred you got no style dog

0:01:22.488,0:01:23.561
I'm the king of dialogue

0:01:23.561,0:01:25.597
there's only one movie I know you from

0:01:25.597,0:01:27.183
and I've seen more blood in the shower

0:01:27.183,0:01:28.186
when I stubbed my toe in one

0:01:28.186,0:01:29.413
you tried to fight in World War I

0:01:29.413,0:01:30.418
but couldn't do that

0:01:30.418,0:01:31.450
the British army wouldn't let you join

0:01:31.450,0:01:32.625
cause you were too fat

0:01:32.625,0:01:34.109
look it up it's a true fact

0:01:34.109,0:01:35.081
Wikipedia that

0:01:35.081,0:01:36.083
now allow me to attack

0:01:36.083,0:01:37.046
Steven the hack

0:01:37.046,0:01:38.120
due to War of the Worlds

0:01:38.120,0:01:39.225
a failure's what I label you

0:01:39.225,0:01:40.515
it looked like some sellout bullshit

0:01:40.515,0:01:41.587
Michael Bay would do

0:01:41.587,0:01:42.458
ask anybody

0:01:42.458,0:01:43.717
what's your favorite Sam Jackson part?

0:01:43.717,0:01:44.719
no one's gonna say

0:01:44.719,0:01:46.181
what's his name from Jurassic Park

0:01:46.181,0:01:47.409
the scripts that I write ain't the

0:01:47.409,0:01:48.597
cleanest

0:01:48.597,0:01:49.487
but when I grip mics I'm the

0:01:49.487,0:01:50.590
meanest

0:01:50.590,0:01:51.881
Quentin Tarantino is a

0:01:51.881,0:01:52.495
genius

0:01:52.495,0:01:53.721
a bad mother fucker

0:01:53.721,0:01:56.278
from the wallet to the penis

0:02:07.278,0:02:09.487
Genius is a powerful word

0:02:09.487,0:02:10.970
but there's no reason to use it

0:02:10.970,0:02:12.557
less you're talking about the Kubrick

0:02:12.557,0:02:14.151
then there's really nothing to it

0:02:14.151,0:02:16.025
everything I do is visionary

0:02:16.025,0:02:17.672
every single frame a painting

0:02:17.672,0:02:19.624
made exactly how I wanna make it

0:02:19.624,0:02:21.457
do another take and get it right

0:02:21.457,0:02:23.104
127 times

0:02:23.104,0:02:24.208
I'll make you learn to love me

0:02:24.208,0:02:25.047
I'm the bomb

0:02:25.047,0:02:26.020
drop ultraviolent rhymes

0:02:26.020,0:02:26.797
like Clockwork

0:02:26.797,0:02:27.707
make you all hurt

0:02:27.707,0:02:29.038
beat Spielberg The Color Purple

0:02:29.038,0:02:30.888
A.I. is the worst waste of potential

0:02:30.888,0:02:32.557
since the Ninja Turtles

0:02:32.557,0:02:33.640
That's enough

0:02:33.640,0:02:35.279
I've heard enough crap from all of you

0:02:35.279,0:02:36.711
why don't I come down there

0:02:36.711,0:02:38.326
and show you what a real star can do

0:02:38.326,0:02:39.985
I swoop low with the telephoto

0:02:39.985,0:02:41.692
no Bruckheimer I work solo

0:02:41.692,0:02:43.217
if there's one thing I've learned bitch

0:02:43.217,0:02:44.250
this game is about

0:02:44.250,0:02:45.805
mother fucking money

0:02:45.805,0:02:47.290
I make that dollar y'all

0:02:47.290,0:02:48.845
mother fucking money

0:02:48.845,0:02:49.784
even make Mark Wahlberg

0:02:49.784,0:02:51.330
make some mother fucking money

0:02:51.330,0:02:52.956
I set up shop and got a few drops

0:02:52.956,0:02:54.347
of that Got Milk money

0:02:54.347,0:02:55.196
rose to The Rock

0:02:55.196,0:02:57.418
now I got that socks made of silk money

0:02:57.418,0:02:58.808
I ain't got that guilt money

0:02:58.808,0:03:00.178
I don't give a fuck

0:03:00.178,0:03:02.828
I take my checks to the bank

0:03:02.828,0:03:03.452
and I sign'em with my nuts

0:03:03.452,0:03:04.833
I give the people what they love

0:03:04.833,0:03:06.349
while the critics say I'm evil

0:03:06.349,0:03:07.911
got no time to read reviews

0:03:07.911,0:03:09.848
while I'm working on the sequel

0:03:09.848,0:03:11.116
got a gift from above

0:03:11.116,0:03:12.600
and the eyes of an eagle

0:03:12.600,0:03:14.124
when it comes to blowing up

0:03:14.124,0:03:16.609
no director is my equal

0:03:16.609,0:03:17.980
Who won?

0:03:17.980,0:03:19.207
Who's next?

0:03:19.207,0:03:21.733
You decide