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[MACHINE HUMMING SOUNDS]

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I kind of enjoy being in that stage[br]of perpetual confusion,

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not being completely at place[br]with one category

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and being completely comfortable in that flux.

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["Jes Fan In Flux"]

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[Urban Glass, Brooklyn]

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[Jes Fan, artist]

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While I was in school[br]in the RISD glass program,

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learning how this matter transformed itself[br]from one state into another

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really entranced me into thinking,[br]"How I can I apply it to other mediums?"

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--You have to move so quick[br]because the material is alive.

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--It was liquid, now it's almost plastic

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-- and then it'll become more like[br]what we think of what glass is.

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My work comes from two experiences.

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--Blow.

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One is moving from Hong Kong,[br]where I was considered as a majority.

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And then moving to the U.S. where[br]I was suddenly considered as a minority.

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And another one is[br]growing up being queer.

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Being queer in Hong Kong is very hard.

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You can't find yourself represented.

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When you can't see yourself in the mirror,[br]you think you're a ghost.

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I'm really curious as to how[br]substances get imbued

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with these really political identity categories,

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and how there is also constantly[br]a biological affiliation to race.

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So I started making sculptures[br]extending to biological mediums--

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things that are imbued[br]with identity categories--

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specifically testosterone,

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and also estrogen,

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but also melanin.

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In one of the projects I did[br]called "Mother is a Women,"

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I asked my mom for her urine samples.

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There is nothing weirder than holding[br]your mom's excretions in your hand

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trying to cross U.S. customs.

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[LAUGHS]

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It's so weird.

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Then I worked with a lab[br]and extracted estrogen out of the sample,

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and created a beauty cream out of it.

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[VIDEO VOICE OVER][br]--The purest estrogen from my mother's urine...

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[FAN] In this age where substances[br]that sustain identity categories

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can be bought, and sold,[br]and made, and commissioned,

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how am I, as a vessel, these identities exist?

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[Chinatown]

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I started playing with these substances[br]when a lot of friends around me started transitioning.

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And also I started transitioning.

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Using testosterone to masculinize my body

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is in some way similar to[br]using a chisel to carve out a surface.

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In a way, you're sculpting your body.

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And in a way, I'm also like that glass,

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in this liquid transformation,

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or perpetually in flux.

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It's almost like watching Discovery Channel.

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You learn codes

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that you weren't brought up leaning

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and you have to unlearn a lot.

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It's not always comfortable.

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[Recess, Brooklyn]

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Right now, I'm working on a series[br]of sculptures called "Systems."

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They are all this lattice pattern

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with these glass globules hanging on them.

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These glass globules in turn become[br]containers for these biological substances.

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I pour silicone inside the vessel.

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Then I inject melanin,

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testosterone,

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and also estrogen,

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and also fat.

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Playing with these substances,

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I want to see it detached from the body[br]and existing on its own.

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Once they're removed from the body,

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the sight of identification,[br]like, "What are they?"

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It's really interesting how animate[br]these materials are,

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not behaving in a way[br]that you would expect it to.

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There's a material expansion[br]that wants to push the shells.

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And sometimes it just implodes.

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Holding the melanin in my hands,

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or holding the hormones in my hands--

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such contested political substance--

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there's some absurdity in it.

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How banal are these little flecks of powders?

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This is ultimately the most absurd.

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Maybe it is triggering the similar[br]experiences of being racialized,

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or being gendered.

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It's just the disposition[br]that you're constantly placed in--

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a constant act of othering.

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But, how can we be so absolutely certain[br]that the binary can satisfy us?