WEBVTT

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(Music)

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(Applause)

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Thank you.

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Wow, that was fun.

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Ok, let's get naked!
(Laughter)

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Ready, set, strip!

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No, teasing, I'm joking!

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The kind of naked that I'm referring to

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is the naked that makes you
squirm on the inside.

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It's naked of the heart.

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Naked to the soul. 
Naked to the truth,

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which is what I want to share
with you today as the truth

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about men, women
and the Erotic Creature.

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But it's going to require some stripping
on both of our parts.

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I need you to strip away
all those false pretenses

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as ideas you have about the female body

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and I need you to strip your minds wide open.

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So this is my laboratory

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where I've spent the last 12 years
guiding women

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toward awakening their 
feminine body movement

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which awakens their feminine nature

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which awakens what I call 
their Erotic Creature.

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Every woman on the planet
has an Erotic Creature.

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She's the primal feminine body.

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She's the wild, untamed, 
sexual alter ego

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that lives deep within.

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Very often she's buried
under furrowed brows,

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tensed frozen bodies, 
judgmental thoughts and fear,

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but she is there.

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And when you awaken her

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and you integrate her into your being,

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it sends you into a place of wholeness

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and this wholeness
of the feminine is capable

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of elevating every living creature
within its reach.

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Let's talk for one second
about -- oh, there it is,

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the Erotic Creature -- 
the Unthinkable.

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What if I tell you that the pole
that I was just dancing on

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is a symbol for the next and fourth wave

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of the feminist movement?

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I know, right!?

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The personal reclamation of the female body
and the sexuality within.

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It's crazy, right?

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A stripper pole representing
the feminist movement --

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there's got to be some people
rolling over in their graves! Heros of mine!

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But I'm going to tell you
about this wild journey

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I took over the last 23 years
that brought me

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to this place of clarity and conviction.

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I'll set the scene for you.

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1989, La Cienega Boulevard
Star Strip Gentleman's Club.

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The first time I went into a strip club

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I was a young actress, 
I was helping a friend with a writing project

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and I was very unhappy
that I had to go on to this place

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that I felt subjugated and objectified women.

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But once inside I fell in love with

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the movement of some of the dancers,

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Their bodies undulated and they teased

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and they were provocative and sexual, 
and so feminine.

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And I was desperate to learn how to do it.

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But I didn't want to be
a professional stripper.

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Not that there's anything wrong with that!

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What I did is

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I wrote-produced a film

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where I actually got to play a stripper.

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And in the movie I needed to create a character

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who lived and moved through her sexuality.

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And I thought this is going to be fun.

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So I, first day of rehearsal, put on this outfit

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that I thought would communicate

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my sexy stripper-self into the world,

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please don't laugh or you can laugh!
(Laughter)

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So I got on stage in this outfit

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and the music comes on
and my body just goes:

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uh-uh -- uh-uh -- Ain't moving! 
And she froze!

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Now I was a dance major,
New York University,

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I'm a professionally trained ballerina,

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I should know how to do this.

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But my body was like,
"I am not having anything of it!"


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And I started to force her to kind of --

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bop from side to side,

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trying to be really sexy,
it was so pathetic,

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it was totally not sexy!

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And what I was realizing is that

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nowhere in my being did I know

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how to embody my sexuality
in my everyday life.

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It wasn't that I didn't have sexuality. 
I for myself though it was fine.

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It was bringing my sexuality
into my everyday life.

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I was faltering at being overtly feminine,
like -- wow,

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the body, which is a brilliantly
intuitive creature, speaks.

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And what my body was saying is:

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"You can clearly see,
is you have no idea who I am."

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And she was completely right.

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So I knew something was missing
inside of me.

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I spent the next 4 months, 
as we developed the film,

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hunting for who I was 
as a sexually embodied creature.

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I went to the strip clubs,
I met dancers,

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I dissected the movement
and I learned it,

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and what I found inside of myself
I did not expect.

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I found its dark, soulful,
emotional sexuality

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that gave me a confidence
in my body and my femininity

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that I'd never had before.

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What awoke in me
was my Erotic Creature.

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All this is amazing,
but it gets so much better,

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because not only did I awaken
that side of myself

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but this side of myself
started changing everything

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on the home front.

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My marriage went from
"Eh" to "Oh my God!"

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It's stayed there for 23 years.

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I became a happier mother to my children,

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I became a more complete woman
on to myself.

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And I had to share this with other women.

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I was like, 'You've got -- this is it,

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this is the Holy Grail of empowerment!'

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and they're like, 'Ok.'

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I developed this movement called

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'S Factor,' and I started teaching it

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to fellow pre-school moms
and women in the neighbourhood

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and they too started releasing their sexuality

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into their everyday lives
and into their bodies and --

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the same changes that I'd had in my life

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they were having in theirs.

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Happier relationships,
happier children,

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happier women,
it caught on like wild fire.

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The next thing I know I am on Oprah's.

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We become -- 
our effort becomes international news.

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I'm inundated with e-mails
from all over the globe.

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Apparently, the desire to be whole --

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it crosses not only geographic boundaries

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but political and cultural boundaries as well.

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I had tapped in a world-wide artery

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of women all missing
the same something I had been missing.

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The Erotic creature was asleep globally.
But how was that possible?

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I couldn't understand 
how could the woman from Saudi Arabia,

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the woman from Beijing, the woman
from Buenos Aires and me in Los Angeles,

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how could we all be missing the same thing?
I needed to understand this.

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And I call it the 'Yin effect.'

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Think of each person, male or female,
having within the potential

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of Yin-feminine and Yang-masculine energy,

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we live in a world that cuts out
a piece of Yin in all of us.

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And if you jump into that Yin,
you'll see that

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it's the physicality and sexuality
of the feminine body that's shut down.

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And the more women I talked to, 
the more I learned.

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And what I learned is that 
the shutting down of the Yin

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starts with the first offense.

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The first offense is
the first time anyone or anything

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brings negative attention, 
judgment or shame to your body.

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So my first offense happened
when I was 7

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and this is the picture of what 
a 7-year-old little girl's body looks like

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just for you to refer to throughout the story -- 
this is my daughter.

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I was hanging out with my best friends, 
Brian and Donald Doyle,

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they were 7 and 8 respectively, 
we were hanging out

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in the backyard, it was summer, 
it was really hot,

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we were playing, 
we decided to take a break

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and we went to cool down,
so we all took our tops off and

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we laid back in the grass, arms over the head,
it was an awesome day,

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the air was cooling my chest,

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it was a beautiful, innocent day.

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And all of a sudden the upstairs window
of their house was flying open

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and Mrs Doyle stuck her head out

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and she screamed
in the most piercing voice,

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'Sheila Kelley! You naughty little girl!

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You put your top on immediately, you ought
to be ashamed of yourself and go home.'

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My shoulders started
to pinch up towards my ears,

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my chest caved-in
with this new-found emotion of shame,

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I couldn't breathe, 
it was the moment I began

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to separate from my female body.

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Mrs hadn't yelled at her boys
but she yelled at me

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but we did the same thing.

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What I learned that day is
it's safe and good

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to be in a male body,
and it's not safe,

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it's dangerous
to be in a female body.

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Mrs Doyle didn't hate me,

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she was trying to curb
a sexuality that scared her,

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that didn't even exist yet.

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She thought she had
the right to tell me what

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I could and couldn't do with my body.

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These kind of stories play out
every single day all over the globe.

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We are stealing the light and the life

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from these creatures,
these beautiful feminine creatures.

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Every single woman you know


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has had a first offense,
whether she's aware of it or not.

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And she's had subsequent offenses
every day of her life, offenses like

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'keep your knees together',
'don't move like that',

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'she's a slut',
'you look like a whore'.

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These offenses eat away 
at the emotional boundary

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and the ego of the body
until you do not know

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where your body begins
and where your body ends.

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You think anyone, anytime, 
anywhere can tell you

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what you can
and cannot do in your body

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and the only choice you have
is to shut it down.

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So let's understand these offenses
a little better

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'cause they're tricky 
and you can't always tell they're offenses.

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And there's a spectrum of them
and they're global

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and they range in noticeability.

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If some of these pictures are difficult -- 
please avert your eyes.

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They range from barbaric, 
such as the stoning to death of a woman

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who expresses her sexuality.

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Or brutal, the creating 
of a human chastity belt made of flash.

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Or overt, the mandatory veiling
of the female body.

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To subtle controls,
things like offensive advertising

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that eats away
your integrity of your body.

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To subliminal controls, 
the infantile global uproar

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over a pair of royal nipples.

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Now really, honestly, I just don't know
which pair of nipples were so offensive!

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But that's another talk!

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So I wanna switch
the table on you for a second.

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Do you know
who I find incredibly attractive

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and I think if I saw his bare nipples

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I would be so sexually aroused
that I couldn't control myself?

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Daniel Craig.
I don't even look over there

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because -- I kind of think Daniel Craig
should cover his nipples, too!

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(Laughter) (Applause)

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I know, I know,
it's absurd, but is it?

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We are laughing at this
but we are doing this to the female body.

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Globally.

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What each and every one of these
offenses have in common

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is the desire -- their end-goal is to control

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and limit the female body and sexuality,


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to control the clitoris, 
to control the vagina,

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to control the uterus,
to control all of it.

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We don't want to think
that atrocities like acid-burnings

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for turning down a marriage proposal

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are related to atrocities like

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domestic abuse for turning down
a marriage proposal.

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But as you can see
they're the exact same thing

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they're just using different tactics of control

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in different degrees.

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And when you hear repeatedly

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that your body is obscene or indecent

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you begin to internalize it, 
and you start to self-control

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and you start to try and hide your body,

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you try and hide your sexuality
in unhealthy eating habits,

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or you hide in skin and bones,

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you'll do anything you can to hide.

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Or you start to cut.

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Or you try to become 
somebody else's ideal of perfection.

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Or you'll mini-man yourself up
so that you can be taken more seriously

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in a world that values
all that is masculine.

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Or you just live where 80% of the women
in America live

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which is where something is missing

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and you have no idea what it is.

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What we have done to the ego
of the female body is --

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it's horrific.

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We have squandered and abused

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one of the sweetest, most vulnerable,

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most adorable creatures on the planet,

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and we -- all of us -- 
we are all paying the price,

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because if you think
women are the only one scarred

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in the relationship to their body,

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think about this:
what the Doyle boys learned

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on the day of my first offense

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was exactly what I learned.

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They learned that their body 
was more valuable than my body.

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They learned that if their mother
could tell me

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what I could and couldn't do in my body

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then maybe someday they could, too.

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Men too are scarred in relationship 
to the feminine body through these offenses.

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In a UCLA study of normal college students

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over 50% of the young men said 
they would rape a woman

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if they knew there was no punishment.

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For the majority of men
the most arousing fantasy

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was the rape of a young woman

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where she experienced
both orgasm and pain.

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Right? Kind of sobering.

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There was a time
when the female body was worshiped,

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not just for her life-giving ability,

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but for her heightened senses, 
her emotional acuity,

00:15:20.969 --> 00:15:24.106
her brilliant intuition 
and her dance of the fertility.

00:15:24.106 --> 00:15:28.701
And this dance took place
at night when the women --

00:15:28.701 --> 00:15:31.033
and only the women --
would gather over the fields

00:15:31.033 --> 00:15:34.375
and they would do --
they would undulate their pelvises

00:15:34.375 --> 00:15:39.739
over the crops to fertilize the soil,
to feed the village.

00:15:39.739 --> 00:15:42.622
That's the true origin
of what we know as

00:15:42.622 --> 00:15:45.150
'fertility dance',
which became erotic dance,

00:15:45.150 --> 00:15:48.011
which became what we know today
as strip-tease and pole-dancing.

00:15:48.011 --> 00:15:51.766
It was a celebration
of the feminine body.

00:15:51.766 --> 00:15:57.905
It began as a dance of life.
The great mythologist

00:15:57.905 --> 00:16:00.591
and philosopher
Joseph Campbell wrote,

00:16:00.591 --> 00:16:04.854
'Woman is life and Man is the protector of life.

00:16:04.854 --> 00:16:08.455
The male's job is to protect the women.'

00:16:08.455 --> 00:16:10.287
Somehow we have --

00:16:10.287 --> 00:16:13.453
the way we've learned
how to protect has become perverted.

00:16:13.453 --> 00:16:16.844
We are protecting 
by dousing the flame of the feminine.

00:16:16.844 --> 00:16:21.423
We are serving by controlling 
the body of the feminine

00:16:21.423 --> 00:16:24.231
instead of doing what we have to do
and that is

00:16:24.248 --> 00:16:27.574
to turn our masculine energy out and face

00:16:27.574 --> 00:16:30.769
any on-coming threat
so that the feminine

00:16:30.769 --> 00:16:36.529
can blossom and grow
and radiate and be life.

00:16:36.529 --> 00:16:39.292
The next wave 
of the feminist movement is actually --

00:16:39.292 --> 00:16:42.303
it's a human movement
and it includes all of us

00:16:42.303 --> 00:16:44.345
and it is the reclamation of the beauty

00:16:44.345 --> 00:16:48.097
and the genius of both
the masculine and the feminine.

00:16:48.097 --> 00:16:51.976
And it all begins with the awakening
of the Erotic Creature in every woman

00:16:51.976 --> 00:16:56.137
because when a woman steps into
her power in her body

00:16:56.137 --> 00:17:01.703
she calls every single masculine
into his greatest power.

00:17:01.703 --> 00:17:03.360
When she gets stronger
he gets stronger.

00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.721
When we as a culture diminish her

00:17:05.721 --> 00:17:10.697
we are diminishing our culture.

00:17:10.697 --> 00:17:13.502
The female-male complement can exist

00:17:13.502 --> 00:17:15.071
and only when we cultivate it

00:17:15.071 --> 00:17:17.063
are we really going to live up
to the potential --

00:17:17.063 --> 00:17:20.560
the true potential of ourselves
individually and collectively.

00:17:20.560 --> 00:17:24.266
This is my guy. 
We cultivate every single day,

00:17:24.266 --> 00:17:26.263
it's not perfect,
there are ups and downs,

00:17:26.263 --> 00:17:31.759
but we dance the dance
of empowering one another.

00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:36.391
Now here I am totally naked.

00:17:36.391 --> 00:17:40.775
If we all strip bare every day

00:17:40.775 --> 00:17:45.104
and expose our deepest truth,

00:17:45.104 --> 00:17:47.825
we can live naked in our passion,

00:17:47.825 --> 00:17:51.222
naked in our power, 
naked in ourselves,

00:17:51.222 --> 00:17:52.941
naked in the moment.

00:17:52.941 --> 00:17:56.412
I reclaimed my body after a lifetime of

00:17:56.412 --> 00:17:59.461
self-criticism brought on
by a society that

00:17:59.461 --> 00:18:03.671
curbed her enthusiasm for life,
and in doing so

00:18:03.671 --> 00:18:08.046
I have become, as Charles Dickens
so beautifully wrote,

00:18:08.046 --> 00:18:11.990
'the hero of my own life'. 
So the choice is yours.

00:18:11.990 --> 00:18:16.202
Do you dare to become
the heroes of your lives

00:18:16.202 --> 00:18:18.820
and reclaim your essence?

00:18:18.820 --> 00:18:22.394
Do you dare to live naked?

00:18:22.394 --> 00:18:23.885
So when you walk out of this talk,

00:18:23.885 --> 00:18:25.478
when you leave this talk, women,

00:18:25.478 --> 00:18:29.310
step into the grandeur, 
the beauty, the gorgeousness

00:18:29.310 --> 00:18:32.584
the sway, the curve, 
the power, the fire of your body,

00:18:32.584 --> 00:18:35.866
of your spirit, of your emotions.

00:18:35.866 --> 00:18:38.207
I want you to undulate your spine

00:18:38.207 --> 00:18:40.229
and just rock your body, sway it, move it,

00:18:40.229 --> 00:18:41.567
stretch it, reach your arms up,

00:18:41.567 --> 00:18:43.609
you can do it right now if you want to.

00:18:43.609 --> 00:18:48.844
I want you to go out and throw a hip-circle
in the middle of the grocery store!

00:18:48.844 --> 00:18:51.190
Just for the fun of it!

00:18:51.190 --> 00:18:53.809
I want you to spread
your radiance with a smile

00:18:53.809 --> 00:18:56.223
like right into the eyes of a stranger.

00:18:56.223 --> 00:18:58.732
And I'm going to feed you 
and you're going to feed me.

00:18:58.732 --> 00:19:05.262
And men, step into the magnificence 
of the masculine creature that you are.

00:19:05.262 --> 00:19:08.525
Create a space of safety
for the feminine to thrive.

00:19:08.525 --> 00:19:11.198
Serve her, protect her, face out and

00:19:11.198 --> 00:19:14.138
hold her in your gaze and elevate her.

00:19:14.138 --> 00:19:17.845
Because when you elevate her

00:19:17.845 --> 00:19:21.307
you will behold in front of you

00:19:21.307 --> 00:19:24.675
the eternal and the sacred feminine.

00:19:24.675 --> 00:19:26.399
She's here right this minute,

00:19:26.399 --> 00:19:28.229
she is in front of you,
she's next to you,

00:19:28.229 --> 00:19:30.930
she's behind you,
she is every woman,

00:19:30.930 --> 00:19:32.481
she is the swoop of the neck,

00:19:32.481 --> 00:19:35.657
and the turn of an ankle, 
and the curve up the lower back,

00:19:35.657 --> 00:19:37.665
and she's the deep emotional heart,

00:19:37.665 --> 00:19:41.704
she is the wise intuitive soul,

00:19:41.704 --> 00:19:44.904
and when you see her,
when you awaken her

00:19:44.904 --> 00:19:47.304
when you behold her
-- oh my God --

00:19:47.304 --> 00:19:49.624
whether you are a man, 
a woman or a child,

00:19:49.624 --> 00:19:55.193
you will be filled up, 
split open into your bliss

00:19:55.193 --> 00:19:59.565
because that is the power
of the feminine.

00:19:59.565 --> 00:20:01.478
And one more thing.

00:20:01.478 --> 00:20:03.433
Women --

00:20:03.433 --> 00:20:06.171
when you walk into a room,

00:20:06.171 --> 00:20:09.152
remember your breasts 
should enter 5 minutes before you

00:20:09.152 --> 00:20:13.285
and your glories ass should leave
5 minutes after you're gone!

00:20:13.285 --> 00:20:14.975
Thank you very much!

00:20:14.975 --> 00:20:23.409
(Applause and cheers)

00:20:23.409 --> 00:20:26.393
Thank you.
(Applause)