Commander What is it? This just in from the weather office My God it's not... Yes sir sunshine clear skies it's the first hot day of the year This is it gentlemen this is what we trained for Move it! move it, move it! Should we double the patrol numbers? Quadruple them Quadruple them? half of those patrollers are going to call in sick along with every other worker in this country There's going to be a run on the banks The cash machines? River banks, canal banks anywhere there's an open body of water where people can sit with a can in their hand The city is going to get overwhelmed with people out drinking on the streets Public urination is going to be at an all-time high Issue a yellow warning Yes sir And tell all units to tread carefully I want a man on every rooftop Yes Bar Should we concentrate all our efforts there? No the garden centers They're going to be swamped angry mobs waiting in line holding shovels and pitchforks The lawnmower repair centers they'll be overwhelmed with people desperate they've been waiting in the long grass for a dry day We should let the hospitals know the emergency departments are going to be overrun Middle-aged men meeting up to play football for the first time in nearly a year We should also prep the burn wards Sunburn? No Irish people trying to use a barbecue The sick calls have already started coming in sir Call on the reserves The Army No the dairy reserves Yes sir Mr Whippy is going to need all the help he can get I want checkpoints posted at all the local parks What are we looking for sir? Pricks with guitars What about the roads? Be extra vigilant for joy riders Car theft? No People aimlessly driving their convertibles around with the top down to justify the purchase Get me the Department of Justice I need to speak with the minister She's out sick sir Damn it Sir there's rumors of Irish people looking sexy on a beach We need to stop the spread of disinformation What else can we do Commander? All we can do now is pray for rain Uh... Do you think we we could maybe tip off early today?? Well I don't see why not Doomdah There's been reports of people not subscribing to the channel I mean... These have been backed up by independent witnesses and statistics We are coming to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with our new show this August if you're up there please check it out Doomdah