1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:00,779 Commander 2 00:00:00,779 --> 00:00:01,320 What is it? 3 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:02,686 This just in from the weather office 4 00:00:02,686 --> 00:00:03,723 My God it's not... 5 00:00:03,723 --> 00:00:04,404 Yes sir 6 00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:05,158 sunshine 7 00:00:05,158 --> 00:00:06,382 clear skies 8 00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:07,577 it's the first hot day of the year 9 00:00:07,577 --> 00:00:08,807 This is it gentlemen 10 00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:09,832 this is what we trained for 11 00:00:09,832 --> 00:00:11,353 Move it! move it, move it! 12 00:00:11,353 --> 00:00:12,401 Should we double the patrol numbers? 13 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:13,199 Quadruple them 14 00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:13,918 Quadruple them? 15 00:00:13,918 --> 00:00:15,606 half of those patrollers are going to call in sick 16 00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:17,500 along with every other worker in this country 17 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,776 There's going to be a run on the banks 18 00:00:18,776 --> 00:00:19,611 The cash machines? 19 00:00:19,611 --> 00:00:20,647 River banks, canal banks 20 00:00:20,647 --> 00:00:22,040 anywhere there's an open body of water 21 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,384 where people can sit with a can in their hand 22 00:00:23,384 --> 00:00:25,032 The city is going to get overwhelmed with people 23 00:00:25,032 --> 00:00:25,800 out drinking on the streets 24 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,498 Public urination is going to be at an all-time high 25 00:00:27,498 --> 00:00:28,440 Issue a yellow warning 26 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,044 Yes sir 27 00:00:29,044 --> 00:00:30,567 And tell all units to tread carefully 28 00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:31,680 I want a man on every rooftop 29 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:32,180 Yes 30 00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:32,680 Bar 31 00:00:33,231 --> 00:00:34,571 Should we concentrate all our efforts there? 32 00:00:34,571 --> 00:00:35,839 No the garden centers 33 00:00:35,839 --> 00:00:36,771 They're going to be swamped 34 00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:38,142 angry mobs waiting in line 35 00:00:38,142 --> 00:00:39,219 holding shovels and pitchforks 36 00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:40,594 The lawnmower repair centers 37 00:00:40,594 --> 00:00:42,141 they'll be overwhelmed with people desperate 38 00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:43,851 they've been waiting in the long grass 39 00:00:43,851 --> 00:00:44,795 for a dry day 40 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:45,954 We should let the hospitals know 41 00:00:45,954 --> 00:00:47,489 the emergency departments are going to be overrun 42 00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:48,288 Middle-aged men 43 00:00:48,288 --> 00:00:49,360 meeting up to play football 44 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,799 for the first time in nearly a year 45 00:00:50,799 --> 00:00:52,034 We should also prep the burn wards 46 00:00:52,034 --> 00:00:52,698 Sunburn? 47 00:00:52,698 --> 00:00:53,498 No 48 00:00:53,498 --> 00:00:55,240 Irish people trying to use a barbecue 49 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,034 The sick calls have already started coming in sir 50 00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:57,972 Call on the reserves 51 00:00:57,972 --> 00:00:58,472 The Army 52 00:00:58,472 --> 00:00:59,159 No 53 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,391 the dairy reserves 54 00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:00,891 Yes sir 55 00:01:00,891 --> 00:01:03,137 Mr Whippy is going to need all the help he can get 56 00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:05,517 I want checkpoints posted at all the local parks 57 00:01:05,517 --> 00:01:06,380 What are we looking for sir? 58 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:07,533 Pricks with guitars 59 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:08,246 What about the roads? 60 00:01:08,246 --> 00:01:09,665 Be extra vigilant for joy riders 61 00:01:09,665 --> 00:01:10,337 Car theft? 62 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,062 No 63 00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:12,793 People aimlessly driving their convertibles around 64 00:01:12,793 --> 00:01:14,945 with the top down to justify the purchase 65 00:01:14,945 --> 00:01:16,020 Get me the Department of Justice 66 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:17,030 I need to speak with the minister 67 00:01:17,030 --> 00:01:17,908 She's out sick sir 68 00:01:17,908 --> 00:01:18,455 Damn it 69 00:01:18,455 --> 00:01:19,919 Sir there's rumors of Irish people looking 70 00:01:19,919 --> 00:01:21,061 sexy on a beach 71 00:01:21,061 --> 00:01:23,078 We need to stop the spread of disinformation 72 00:01:23,078 --> 00:01:24,197 What else can we do Commander? 73 00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:26,222 All we can do now 74 00:01:26,222 --> 00:01:28,600 is pray for rain 75 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,592 Uh... 76 00:01:29,592 --> 00:01:30,742 Do you think we we could maybe 77 00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:32,392 tip off early today?? 78 00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:34,737 Well I don't see why not 79 00:01:34,737 --> 00:01:35,774 Doomdah 80 00:01:35,774 --> 00:01:37,272 There's been reports of people not subscribing 81 00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:38,933 to the channel I mean... 82 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:39,921 These have been backed up 83 00:01:39,921 --> 00:01:41,341 by independent witnesses 84 00:01:41,341 --> 00:01:42,529 and statistics 85 00:01:42,529 --> 00:01:43,914 We are coming to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 86 00:01:43,914 --> 00:01:45,221 with our new show this August 87 00:01:45,221 --> 00:01:46,812 if you're up there please check it out 88 00:01:47,618 --> 00:01:49,666 Doomdah