0:00:00.120,0:00:00.779
Commander

0:00:00.779,0:00:01.320
What is it?

0:00:01.320,0:00:02.686
This just in from the weather office

0:00:02.686,0:00:03.723
My God it's not...

0:00:03.723,0:00:04.404
Yes sir

0:00:04.404,0:00:05.158
sunshine

0:00:05.158,0:00:06.382
clear skies

0:00:06.382,0:00:07.577
it's the first hot day of the year

0:00:07.577,0:00:08.807
This is it gentlemen

0:00:08.807,0:00:09.832
this is what we trained for

0:00:09.832,0:00:11.353
Move it! move it, move it!

0:00:11.353,0:00:12.401
Should we double the patrol numbers?

0:00:12.401,0:00:13.199
Quadruple them

0:00:13.199,0:00:13.918
Quadruple them?

0:00:13.918,0:00:15.606
half of those patrollers are going to call in sick

0:00:15.606,0:00:17.500
along with every other worker in this country

0:00:17.500,0:00:18.776
There's going to be a run on the banks

0:00:18.776,0:00:19.611
The cash machines?

0:00:19.611,0:00:20.647
River banks, canal banks

0:00:20.647,0:00:22.040
anywhere there's an open body of water

0:00:22.040,0:00:23.384
where people can sit with a can in their hand

0:00:23.384,0:00:25.032
The city is going to get overwhelmed with people

0:00:25.032,0:00:25.800
out drinking on the streets

0:00:25.800,0:00:27.498
Public urination is going to be at an all-time high

0:00:27.498,0:00:28.440
Issue a yellow warning

0:00:28.440,0:00:29.044
Yes sir

0:00:29.044,0:00:30.567
And tell all units to tread carefully

0:00:30.567,0:00:31.680
I want a man on every rooftop

0:00:31.680,0:00:32.180
Yes

0:00:32.180,0:00:32.680
Bar

0:00:33.231,0:00:34.571
Should we concentrate all our efforts there?

0:00:34.571,0:00:35.839
No the garden centers

0:00:35.839,0:00:36.771
They're going to be swamped

0:00:36.771,0:00:38.142
angry mobs waiting in line

0:00:38.142,0:00:39.219
holding shovels and pitchforks

0:00:39.219,0:00:40.594
The lawnmower repair centers

0:00:40.594,0:00:42.141
they'll be overwhelmed with people desperate

0:00:42.141,0:00:43.851
they've been waiting in the long grass

0:00:43.851,0:00:44.795
for a dry day

0:00:44.795,0:00:45.954
We should let the hospitals know

0:00:45.954,0:00:47.489
the emergency departments are going to be overrun

0:00:47.489,0:00:48.288
Middle-aged men

0:00:48.288,0:00:49.360
meeting up to play football

0:00:49.360,0:00:50.799
for the first time in nearly a year

0:00:50.799,0:00:52.034
We should also prep the burn wards

0:00:52.034,0:00:52.698
Sunburn?

0:00:52.698,0:00:53.498
No

0:00:53.498,0:00:55.240
Irish people trying to use a barbecue

0:00:55.240,0:00:57.034
The sick calls have already started coming in sir

0:00:57.034,0:00:57.972
Call on the reserves

0:00:57.972,0:00:58.472
The Army

0:00:58.472,0:00:59.159
No

0:00:59.159,0:01:00.391
the dairy reserves

0:01:00.391,0:01:00.891
Yes sir

0:01:00.891,0:01:03.137
Mr Whippy is going to need all the help he can get

0:01:03.137,0:01:05.517
I want checkpoints posted at all the local parks

0:01:05.517,0:01:06.380
What are we looking for sir?

0:01:06.380,0:01:07.533
Pricks with guitars

0:01:07.533,0:01:08.246
What about the roads?

0:01:08.246,0:01:09.665
Be extra vigilant for joy riders

0:01:09.665,0:01:10.337
Car theft?

0:01:10.337,0:01:11.062
No

0:01:11.062,0:01:12.793
People aimlessly driving their convertibles around

0:01:12.793,0:01:14.945
with the top down to justify the purchase

0:01:14.945,0:01:16.020
Get me the Department of Justice

0:01:16.020,0:01:17.030
I need to speak with the minister

0:01:17.030,0:01:17.908
She's out sick sir

0:01:17.908,0:01:18.455
Damn it

0:01:18.455,0:01:19.919
Sir there's rumors of Irish people looking

0:01:19.919,0:01:21.061
sexy on a beach

0:01:21.061,0:01:23.078
We need to stop the spread of disinformation

0:01:23.078,0:01:24.197
What else can we do Commander?

0:01:24.197,0:01:26.222
All we can do now

0:01:26.222,0:01:28.600
is pray for rain

0:01:28.600,0:01:29.592
Uh...

0:01:29.592,0:01:30.742
Do you think we we could maybe

0:01:30.742,0:01:32.392
tip off early today??

0:01:33.537,0:01:34.737
Well I don't see why not

0:01:34.737,0:01:35.774
Doomdah

0:01:35.774,0:01:37.272
There's been reports of people not subscribing

0:01:37.272,0:01:38.933
to the channel I mean...

0:01:38.933,0:01:39.921
These have been backed up

0:01:39.921,0:01:41.341
by independent witnesses

0:01:41.341,0:01:42.529
and statistics

0:01:42.529,0:01:43.914
We are coming to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

0:01:43.914,0:01:45.221
with our new show this August

0:01:45.221,0:01:46.812
if you're up there please check it out

0:01:47.618,0:01:49.666
Doomdah