[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.85,0:00:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks, man.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.86,0:00:20.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm excited about being here.\NWe're going to have some fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.66,0:00:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My name is Michael Jr.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.94,0:00:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to do some jokes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.78,0:00:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.97,0:00:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.42,0:00:32.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet, at the same time,\NI’d like to explain to you how life
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.69,0:00:35.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well, how comedy works.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.54,0:00:36.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let's stop right here.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.99,0:00:39.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually like the city of Reno a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.49,0:00:41.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was here once...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.67,0:00:43.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.12,0:00:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was here once;
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.24,0:00:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was keynote speaking for a corporation
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.01,0:00:50.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and something really kind of strange\Nhappened when I was here.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.01,0:00:53.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Normally, I'm the type of person\NI like to be on a stage alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.10,0:00:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't need any help or anybody...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.85,0:00:58.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this CEO of this large company\Nintroduces me, and he has the microphone,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.82,0:01:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and normally, we have two different mics,\Nand he leaves, and then, I'm there.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.12,0:01:04.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the plan.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.38,0:01:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dude stays there.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.99,0:01:07.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.57,0:01:10.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm standing right next to him\Nwith no mic.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.30,0:01:11.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.57,0:01:15.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he looks at the audience,\Nand I'm standing there, and he says...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.08,0:01:17.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, let me explain this.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.54,0:01:20.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the type of comedian,\Nlike, I'm observational.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.60,0:01:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pay attention to things\Nlike college students.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.84,0:01:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take someone who goes to a nice school
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.67,0:01:26.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the University\Nof Southern California.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.74,0:01:29.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask them what school they go to,\Nyou get a nice quick answer,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.66,0:01:31.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "What school you go to?"\N- "USC."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.30,0:01:33.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,New York University -\Nyou get a nice quick answer,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.67,0:01:35.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "What school you go to?"\N- "NYU."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.32,0:01:37.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask somebody who goes\Nto community college.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.35,0:01:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get a much longer\Nresponse, don't you?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.63,0:01:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.73,0:01:41.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What school you go to?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.98,0:01:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, see, right now, what I'm doing,\NI'm gonna get a couple credits, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.47,0:01:48.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then my financial aid\Nis supposed to come through.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.93,0:01:50.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I'm gonna transfer, man.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.56,0:01:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They say school kills creativity anyway.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.84,0:01:55.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man, I feel vulnerable.\NIs Brené Brown around?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.45,0:01:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man, I feel very vulnerable right now."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.53,0:01:59.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.27,0:02:04.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me tell you a little more about me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.16,0:02:05.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love being a dad.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.39,0:02:07.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I have five kids, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.26,0:02:09.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I travel a lot
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.46,0:02:10.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I can see them all.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.93,0:02:12.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.60,0:02:18.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ha, ha! I'm just playing.\NI don't see them, I don't see them.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.51,0:02:20.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.18,0:02:22.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I do. I have five kids.\NThey're all with me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.69,0:02:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I live in Dallas now.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.08,0:02:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My kids are awesome.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.55,0:02:27.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing about having a big family is
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.43,0:02:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you always have\Nto figure out ways to save money.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.76,0:02:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We wanted to get\Nour family pictures taken,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.84,0:02:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that stuff was expensive.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.29,0:02:37.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what we did to save money was\Nwe all got in the front seat of the car,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.19,0:02:39.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looked both ways, and ran a red light.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.29,0:02:41.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what we did.\NThat's what we did.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.18,0:02:43.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.34,0:02:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two weeks later,\Nthe picture came in the mail.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.49,0:02:46.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.01,0:02:49.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my son blinked
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.22,0:02:51.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we had to do it again,\Nwe had to do it again.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.48,0:02:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This stuff is crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.61,0:02:54.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.73,0:02:57.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was doing that joke in prison recently.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.95,0:03:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't in prison,\Nlike, "Hey, I'm funny. Get off me!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.62,0:03:01.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It wasn't like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.95,0:03:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.83,0:03:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever we're doing a big live event\N- like we're doing one tonight in Reno -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.59,0:03:10.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whenever we do a large ticketed event,\Na concert, in a city,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.50,0:03:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we always look for a homeless shelter,\Na prison, an abused children's facility
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.19,0:03:16.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to go to during the day to do comedy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.03,0:03:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm so I'm doing a prison this time...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.04,0:03:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.06,0:03:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a TEDx talk,\NI don't got that much time.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.18,0:03:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't got to clap, it's OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.68,0:03:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.93,0:03:29.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we're doing this prison,\Nand I do the joke about the red light,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.14,0:03:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and 75% of the prisoners laughed;
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.15,0:03:33.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the rest of them... nothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.83,0:03:35.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I realized what was going on.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.50,0:03:37.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of them had been locked up so long,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.90,0:03:40.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the dude next to them\Nhad to explain the joke.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.67,0:03:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was like, "See, nowadays,\Nwhen you run a red light,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.29,0:03:45.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they send a picture\Nwith the ticket in the mail."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.61,0:03:47.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he looked at the dude next to him,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.65,0:03:50.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"A red light is what they use for traffic\Nwhen you go down the road."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.99,0:03:52.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.33,0:03:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he said,\N"A road is what they use..."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.88,0:03:55.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.96,0:03:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.10,0:03:58.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where am I at right now, man?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.13,0:04:02.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'd like to explain to you\Nhow comedy works.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.38,0:04:05.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is how comedy works;\Nreally all comedy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.65,0:04:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any time you laugh, this formula\Nis taking place in one way or another,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.14,0:04:12.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but specifically, with regards\Nto stand-up, this is how it works as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.83,0:04:16.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, there's a setup,\Nand then, there's a punchline.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.30,0:04:17.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me explain.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.62,0:04:20.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The setup is when a comedian\Nwill use his talents and resources
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.76,0:04:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to seize any opportunity
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.06,0:04:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to ensure that you, the audience,\Nare moving in the same direction.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.76,0:04:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The punchline occurs\Nwhen he changes that direction
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.19,0:04:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a way you're not expecting.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.62,0:04:33.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you catch on to this change,\Nyou've received the punchline.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.72,0:04:38.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The results are revelation, fulfillment,\Nand joy expressed through laughter.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.16,0:04:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.32,0:04:40.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me give you an example.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.26,0:04:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few summers ago, I took my family\Non vacation to Mexico.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.28,0:04:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first two days were rough
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.84,0:04:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the people there\Nkept calling me a "Negro."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.84,0:04:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The third day, I realized\Nthey were saying "amigo,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.42,0:04:56.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was all cool; that was cool, so...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.47,0:04:58.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.30,0:05:03.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did you see what just happened\Nright there?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.73,0:05:04.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.78,0:05:11.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when I was a child, I used\Nto struggle with my reading.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.35,0:05:13.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used to really have a hard time reading.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.86,0:05:16.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, I just struggled with it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.01,0:05:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I read now just fine;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.48,0:05:20.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the signs over the door\Nthat say 'exite, ' I can read that stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.82,0:05:22.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.69,0:05:25.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when I was a kid,\NI used to struggle with my reading.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.39,0:05:28.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I couldn't sound a word out\Nphonetically, it just didn't work.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.35,0:05:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now, looking back at it, I realize\NI developed seven different ways
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.74,0:05:35.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to look at a word\Nto determine what the word was.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.11,0:05:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I just started noticing this\Nreally in junior high.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.80,0:05:40.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I would look at the font size,\Nthe color, the positioning,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.71,0:05:43.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what's in front of it, what's behind it,\Nhow people responded to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.91,0:05:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got really good at\Nlooking at words differently
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.26,0:05:49.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the point in high school,\Npeople didn't know I wasn't really reading
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.64,0:05:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was just working it out\Nreally, really fast.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.84,0:05:53.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now as an adult, I read just fine,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.55,0:05:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I still have this ability to look\Nat words, and people, and situations
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.47,0:05:59.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seven different ways almost immediately.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.48,0:06:03.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, it's the primary place\Nwhere I pull my comedy from.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.39,0:06:06.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that very thing from my past\Nthat looked like it was a setback,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.63,0:06:08.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looked like it was some sort of handicap,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.04,0:06:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,turns out I'm actually able to use it\Nfor what I'm called to do now.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.18,0:06:17.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So just like you, you've probably\Nhad some sort of setbacks,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.39,0:06:19.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if you, in a way, would embrace it,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.53,0:06:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll probably find there's\Nmore opportunities out there.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.34,0:06:24.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I find comedy all over the place.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.24,0:06:25.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the airport today:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.25,0:06:27.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,little white kid walked up to me,\Nasked for an autograph.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.95,0:06:31.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "Hey buddy, what's your name?"\NHe said, "I'm Tanner."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.04,0:06:33.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at him, I said, "No, you're not."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.09,0:06:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.30,0:06:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His mom was cracking up.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.57,0:06:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was like, "I am Tanner!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.90,0:06:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.54,0:06:45.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No. Trust me. You're not."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.61,0:06:46.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.60,0:06:52.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or I'll notice stuff; I saw this dude\Nwith a muscle shirt on.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.51,0:06:55.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You ever see a dude\Nwith a muscle shirt, like a white tank,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.45,0:06:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he ain't got no muscles?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.00,0:06:58.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.05,0:07:00.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is that? A wife threatener?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.11,0:07:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.06,0:07:06.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depending on\Nwhere you're from in the country,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.32,0:07:08.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll understand that joke better.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.06,0:07:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.92,0:07:11.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And his friend had on a shirt that said,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.88,0:07:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If you don't speak English,\Nleave the country."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.54,0:07:18.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hmm... but it was written\Nin English. So...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.37,0:07:19.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.73,0:07:27.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I walked up to him,\Nand I said, "You're dumb!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.08,0:07:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.21,0:07:30.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I said it in Spanish though\Nso he wouldn't know...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.92,0:07:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.14,0:07:36.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm able to find comedy\Nin a bunch of different places
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.81,0:07:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a result of embracing what seemed\Nlike it was a handicap from my past.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.38,0:07:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I notice even what people say sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.32,0:07:43.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever heard the phrase,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.81,0:07:46.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Boy, I wish I could've been\Na fly on the wall"?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.36,0:07:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time I hear that,\NI walk up to the person, and I say,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.17,0:07:50.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And then what?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.46,0:07:51.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.60,0:07:52.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no, no, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.76,0:07:54.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want to be a fly on the wall
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.29,0:07:56.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you could hear the information\Nthat was in the room.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.91,0:07:58.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I've done the research.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.35,0:07:59.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hmm... Flies don't have ears.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.80,0:08:00.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.82,0:08:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.84,0:08:04.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You would be just as ignorant\Nas you currently are
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.24,0:08:05.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.37,0:08:07.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you would be a fly.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.86,0:08:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.17,0:08:12.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody even listens to a fly.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.05,0:08:13.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.09,0:08:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, let's say you're\Na fly that could read lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.65,0:08:17.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are you going to do\Nwith the information?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.84,0:08:18.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.99,0:08:20.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you've got two days to live.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.59,0:08:21.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.79,0:08:23.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're making bad choices.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.39,0:08:24.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.21,0:08:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or people will say stuff to me like,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.08,0:08:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Michael Jr., where you from originally?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.13,0:08:34.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm like, "Originally? Huh.\NWell, I was conceived in Michigan."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.66,0:08:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.04,0:08:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Before that, I was in my dad."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.62,0:08:38.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.71,0:08:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.74,0:08:40.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.06,0:08:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And then, there was\Na swim competition," right?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.35,0:08:45.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.75,0:08:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And I won, which is crazy"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.57,0:08:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.79,0:08:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"because currently, I don't swim at all."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.78,0:08:53.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.37,0:08:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used to be pretty good\Nthough, apparently.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.46,0:08:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.52,0:08:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am not politically correct.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.92,0:09:03.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just going to tell: I know\NI do comedy, but it's just too much work.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.38,0:09:04.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just telling you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.48,0:09:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to watch the news\Nand know the language.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.82,0:09:10.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you put the right stuff in your heart,\Nthe right stuff will come out.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.30,0:09:12.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I never tried,\NI never try to be politically correct.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.94,0:09:13.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people work hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.100,0:09:17.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm at a coffee shop; a white guy\Nin front of me orders a coffee.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.12,0:09:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lady in front of him\Nis like, "How do you want it?"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.72,0:09:22.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looked back at me and was like,\N"Um, African-American please."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.86,0:09:24.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.10,0:09:29.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "Cool.\NLet me get the Caucasian Mocha.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.45,0:09:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me get that if I could...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.13,0:09:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just get the Caucasian Mocha, I guess.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.99,0:09:35.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm trying to learn, I'm trying to learn."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.03,0:09:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.78,0:09:41.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Coaches would say some stuff too.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.70,0:09:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ever hear your coach say something like,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.70,0:09:46.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The stuff I'm teaching here,\Nit's not just about this game,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.57,0:09:48.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could apply it to life."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.08,0:09:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the thing, people:\Nthat's not true.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.75,0:09:52.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought it was true.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.80,0:09:54.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Straight out of high school,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.19,0:09:56.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of my first jobs was...\NI used to park cars.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.43,0:09:59.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the cars was really nice\Nso I took it for a little spin.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.81,0:10:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The company found out,\Nand my boss lost the account.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.29,0:10:04.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was yelling at me and screaming
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.01,0:10:05.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't know what to say or do.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.61,0:10:07.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought back\Nto my high school football coach.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.93,0:10:11.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at my boss, and I was like,\N"You know what, man?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.16,0:10:14.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You win some, you lose some, man."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.06,0:10:15.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.52,0:10:18.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You can't let this one loss\Nget you down."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.73,0:10:19.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.100,0:10:22.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The important thing is\NI went out there, and I had fun.”
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.91,0:10:24.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.56,0:10:26.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.07,0:10:30.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I got fired, man.\NI got fired right away.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.40,0:10:31.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.63,0:10:35.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, I do play some basketball.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.68,0:10:38.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't want to perpetuate\Nstereotypes, but it's true.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.25,0:10:39.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.75,0:10:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in basketball,\Nyou're supposed to run and jump.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.14,0:10:44.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't really feel like\Ndoing both all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.43,0:10:46.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So some friends recently\Ntook me ball hunting.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.78,0:10:49.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people call it golf or whatever.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.92,0:10:51.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.36,0:10:56.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I shot a 121.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.52,0:10:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That’s what I shot, a 121;
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.18,0:10:59.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then we had lunch.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.25,0:11:02.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was like, "Hey. We're gonna do\Nthe other nine holes now."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.33,0:11:04.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.23,0:11:07.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "I'm not going back\Nout there, I'm not going."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.26,0:11:08.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because they lied to get me to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.100,0:11:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They’re like, "The greens are awesome.”
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.94,0:11:13.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "Cool,"\NI showed up with some cornbread.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.41,0:11:14.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "All right ..."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.71,0:11:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.82,0:11:18.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t know how to say\Ncornbread in German.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.97,0:11:19.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.56,0:11:22.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just did that just for Germany.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.33,0:11:24.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've never really been there before.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.07,0:11:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do think working out is important.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.80,0:11:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was at the gym the other month.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.19,0:11:32.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was going to do some cardio, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.09,0:11:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But they moved it upstairs.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.45,0:11:35.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ain't going up there, man, please.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.21,0:11:36.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.81,0:11:39.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I get recognized at the gym.\NI got recognized.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.15,0:11:41.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm working out,\Nthis lady was like: (Gasping).
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.55,0:11:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "How you doing?"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.70,0:11:46.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, "You don't understand\NMichael Jr.! You're my favorite comedian.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.22,0:11:48.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time I see you,\NI laugh my butt off."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.28,0:11:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like, "Uh... Keep laughing!"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.73,0:11:52.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Keep laughing."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.19,0:11:53.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.85,0:12:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So there's a club in Los Angeles.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.54,0:12:03.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I moved to Los Angeles,\Nand I was brand new in comedy,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.35,0:12:06.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a club there that it's\Nlike the best club in the country.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.63,0:12:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called the "Comedy and Magic Club."\NIt's in Hermosa Beach.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.62,0:12:12.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This club is extremely hard\Nfor a comedian to get into.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.27,0:12:14.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way I got into this club is
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.10,0:12:16.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a guy named George Wallace\Nsaw me when I lived in New York.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.96,0:12:18.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He knew I was funny and clean
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.44,0:12:21.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so when I moved to Los Angeles,\Nhe took me to the Comedy and Magic Club.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.85,0:12:25.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now he couldn't get me on stage,\Nit's way too prestigious of a club.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.13,0:12:26.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have to know who you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.61,0:12:28.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he got me into the green room.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.56,0:12:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm in the green room\Nand suddenly, brand new in town,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.44,0:12:34.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I find myself in a green room\Nwith some soldiers in comedy.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.41,0:12:37.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's George Wallace,\NGarry Shandling, Jay Leno.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.67,0:12:39.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm brand new in town.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.11,0:12:42.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And at the time, a football player\Ngot hit in the eye with a flag,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.43,0:12:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he lost his vision in one eye,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.23,0:12:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was suing the league\Nfor 400 million dollars.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.73,0:12:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, all of these guys are helping\NLeno on that joke subject
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.63,0:12:52.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the monologue\Nfor "The Tonight Show" on NBC.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.10,0:12:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ain't saying nothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.02,0:12:57.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just happy to be in the room\Nsharing french fries with these dudes.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.32,0:13:00.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But your gift will make room for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.29,0:13:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then, they got quiet,\Nand they all looked at me,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.68,0:13:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm thinking, "Oh, snap!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.58,0:13:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is an opportunity."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.10,0:13:08.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Let's see if I got this right.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.05,0:13:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got hit in the eye with a flag,\Nhe lost his vision in one eye,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.10,0:13:13.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he's suing the league\Nfor 400 million dollars.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.46,0:13:16.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He’s not gonna see half of it."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.40,0:13:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.71,0:13:25.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, for real.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.71,0:13:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.48,0:13:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So here's the thing:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.56,0:13:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how did I get that joke that fast\Nunder that much pressure?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.52,0:13:34.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The truth is it wasn't\Nas much pressure as you might think
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.32,0:13:36.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I'd been practicing\Nsince I was a child
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.61,0:13:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the form of a kid\Nwho was having a hard time reading.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.32,0:13:41.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was practicing just like\Nyou've been practicing;
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.66,0:13:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you just didn't know you were practicing.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.70,0:13:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm here to let you know\Nyou've been practicing.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.96,0:13:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for a lot of you, guys,\Nit's game time.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.31,0:13:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's game time.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.83,0:13:53.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now, I'm in the club;\Nand I'm performing there.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.92,0:13:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is probably\Nlike seven, eight years ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.24,0:13:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm headlining at the club,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.62,0:13:59.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and right before I got on stage,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.18,0:14:01.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a change in mindset about comedy.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.28,0:14:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of the time\Nwhen a comedian gets onstage,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.49,0:14:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he wants to get laughs from people.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.20,0:14:06.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I felt a shift take place:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.93,0:14:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of going up there\Nto get laughs from people,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.50,0:14:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt like I was supposed\Nto give them an opportunity to laugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.54,0:14:14.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did a little prayer,\Nand I clearly felt like
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.73,0:14:16.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was supposed to give\Nan opportunity to laugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.97,0:14:18.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This changed everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.23,0:14:19.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because now I'm not looking to take;
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.99,0:14:22.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm simply looking for\Nan opportunity to give.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.17,0:14:24.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is why we go to homeless shelters\Nand these places.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.83,0:14:27.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, that very night\Nwhen I leave the stage,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.15,0:14:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm outside, people want autographs,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.94,0:14:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're hanging out taking pictures,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.86,0:14:34.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I look across the street,\Nand I saw a homeless guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.20,0:14:37.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had never seen a homeless guy\Noutside this club before ever.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.27,0:14:40.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that doesn't mean\Nhe wasn't there before.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.47,0:14:44.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That just means before,\Nmy mindset was to get laughs from people,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.90,0:14:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so why would I even notice him?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.63,0:14:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But now I changed my mindset,\Nand I see this homeless guy,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.38,0:14:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have the thought, "What about him?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.38,0:14:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I give him\Nan opportunity to laugh?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.59,0:14:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's when we started doing\Nhomeless shelters and prisons
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.50,0:15:00.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and making laughter commonplace\Nin non-common places.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.39,0:15:03.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now, as a result of doing that,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.55,0:15:08.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we went to this one place,\Nwe went to Montrose, Colorado.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.26,0:15:12.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an abuse facility for children\Nwho were being abused by their parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.93,0:15:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm hearing all these stories,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.68,0:15:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this grandmother told us\Nabout her grandson
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.92,0:15:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was so afraid of his mom\Nwho's on drugs and been abusing him.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.02,0:15:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the things she's been doing\Nis she was pulling out his toenails.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.42,0:15:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I hear this story,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.100,0:15:27.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they bring all these kids inside.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.43,0:15:29.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Spiderman is sitting right up.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.06,0:15:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This little boy is so afraid of his mom,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.99,0:15:33.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,everywhere he goes,\Nhe wears a Spiderman costume.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.37,0:15:35.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's sitting right up front at the show.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.39,0:15:38.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If my mindset was still\Nto get laughs from people,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.11,0:15:40.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's no way I would've been able\Nto do the show.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.51,0:15:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my mindset changed;
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.22,0:15:45.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so now, I have to do the show.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.02,0:15:47.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I get up on stage,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.31,0:15:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people start laughing\Nslowly but surely.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.71,0:15:52.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Twenty minutes in it,\NI hear a voice come from right here,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.51,0:15:54.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the voice says, "My name is Ronan.”
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.67,0:15:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this little boy pulls off his mask,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.59,0:15:58.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,introduces himself to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.36,0:16:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I can't even tell you\Nwhat it meant to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.70,0:16:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He started talking to me\Nfor like nine minutes,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.97,0:16:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I wasn't doing\Na comedy show at the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.21,0:16:07.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.93,0:16:10.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it was all because I made this shift.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.17,0:16:12.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I made this change,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.55,0:16:13.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I say it simply.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.68,0:16:14.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of trying to get,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.97,0:16:17.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to see if there's\Nan opportunity to give.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.45,0:16:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you can make this adjustment,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.00,0:16:20.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it will change your life for the good.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.86,0:16:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a mechanic,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.93,0:16:24.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you may think\Nyou get paid to fix vehicles.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:24.05,0:16:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you can make this shift,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.54,0:16:29.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you will recognize you help people\Nreach their desired destination.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:29.15,0:16:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That will put your alarm clock\Nout of business.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.53,0:16:33.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My senses are
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.57,0:16:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a lot of people out there\Nstill hitting the snooze button.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.49,0:16:38.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before I bounce
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.74,0:16:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- bounce means to vacate the premises -
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.77,0:16:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.01,0:16:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’d like to explain to you how life works,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.53,0:16:46.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at least from a comedian’s perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.76,0:16:49.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, there's a setup,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.28,0:16:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then there's a punchline.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.94,0:16:55.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your setup is your talents,\Nyour resources, and your opportunities.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.44,0:16:57.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And most of the time, we use our setup
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.44,0:17:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to ensure that the people around us\Nare moving in a direction that serves us.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.28,0:17:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which means the punchline occurs
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.86,0:17:06.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you change that direction\Nin a way they're not expecting.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.90,0:17:09.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You actually use your setup\Nfor other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.84,0:17:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The results are the same, yet multiply:\Nrevelation, fulfillment, and joy.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:13.44,0:17:16.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not just for the one\Nreceiving your punch line;
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.40,0:17:19.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is absolutely for you\Nas you deliver the punch line.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.62,0:17:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, if I ask the question\Nto everyone here, everyone watching,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:23.88,0:17:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I ask you this question,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:26.70,0:17:29.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How many people here\Nknow what your setup is?"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.35,0:17:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every one of you would be able to tell me.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:32.43,0:17:35.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because your setup is the fact\Nthat you have a house, a car,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:35.40,0:17:37.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've been married, you went to school.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.31,0:17:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your setup is about what you've received.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.28,0:17:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what if I asked the question,\N"What is your punchline?”
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.31,0:17:48.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because your punchline is about\Nwhat you’re called to deliver.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.20,0:17:50.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you only know your setup\Nand not your punchline,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:50.93,0:17:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll make the mistake\Nof trying to add more setup.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:54.74,0:17:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If I could just get another degree,"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.78,0:17:58.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"if I could just get married,"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:58.32,0:17:59.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"if I could just lose weight,"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.82,0:18:03.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but what you really need\Nis to know your punchline.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.55,0:18:06.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because to know your setup\Nand not your punchline
Dialogue: 0,0:18:06.85,0:18:08.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is an uncomfortable place to live.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.96,0:18:10.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me give you an example.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.06,0:18:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many people are still thinking about\Nthe story of me and the CEO on stage?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.16,0:18:19.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reason all you guys are\Nstill thinking about that story
Dialogue: 0,0:18:19.98,0:18:22.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because all you have is the setup;
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.12,0:18:24.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't have the punchline.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.98,0:18:26.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet, we've moved on
Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.04,0:18:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and allowed ourselves to be entertained
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.60,0:18:33.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like there wasn't something missing.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.42,0:18:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we'll go to a comedy show,\Nor a football game, or a concert
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.42,0:18:40.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though there's something missing.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:40.48,0:18:43.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's just the story\NI told you ten minutes ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:43.74,0:18:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about your story?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:46.27,0:18:50.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've been living it your entire life,\Nand if all you know is the setup,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.22,0:18:51.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not the punchline,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.49,0:18:53.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you’re living in an uncomfortable place.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.63,0:18:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And please be clear.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.80,0:18:57.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just like when I had\Na hard time reading as a child,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:57.23,0:18:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your setbacks are part of your setup
Dialogue: 0,0:18:59.50,0:19:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can deliver the punchline\Nyou’re called to deliver.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.94,0:19:06.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Much like a slingshot,\Nthe further you've been set back,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:06.49,0:19:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the further you're going to reach.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.66,0:19:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what are you going to aim for?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:12.86,0:19:15.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone has a setup,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:15.62,0:19:17.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everyone has a punchline.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:18.48,0:19:20.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to find your punchline
Dialogue: 0,0:19:20.94,0:19:21.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and deliver it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:22.32,0:19:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm Michael Jr.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:23.43,0:19:24.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love you.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.49,0:19:25.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.65,0:19:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.76,0:19:28.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Aw, you guys are awesome.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:28.01,0:19:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Standing ovation!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.02,0:19:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you so much.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.07,0:19:31.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you, thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:31.12,0:19:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.38,0:19:34.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get up, dude! You too!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.69,0:19:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just playing.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:35.75,0:19:36.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.77,0:19:38.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)