WEBVTT 00:00:05.880 --> 00:00:08.760 And a late for the lovely lady! 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:10.440 Thank you! 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:17.240 Hey! 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:20.440 Oh, do I know you...? 00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:23.160 You do now. 00:00:23.520 --> 00:00:25.480 OK... 00:00:33.400 --> 00:00:35.000 Is this free? 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:39.600 - ‘Is this free?’ - ‘Yes, of course!’ 00:00:40.280 --> 00:00:43.760 Standard question, standard response. 00:00:44.040 --> 00:00:46.440 So standard, we forget to think. 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.800 Well I like to challenge standards. 00:00:50.360 --> 00:00:52.480 Catch people off-guard. 00:00:53.440 --> 00:00:55.770 Make them think. 00:01:18.750 --> 00:01:19.960 Is this free? 00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:21.640 No, it’s two pounds. 00:01:22.680 --> 00:01:24.520 Oh, I’m sorry, are you waiting for someone? 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:27.679 Well, not exactly. The last guy only had a pound on him. 00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:28.880 He went looking for the other 50p. 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:32.680 But if you've got two pounds on you now – it's yours! 00:01:33.160 --> 00:01:35.560 But you only asked him only one-fifty! 00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:40.280 Inflation! Oh, there he is! 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:44.000 I’m taking it! 00:01:59.520 --> 00:02:03.200 Excuse me, so sorry, is this free? 00:02:05.320 --> 00:02:06.240 Fuck-off. 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:10.440 Look old chap, I just asked for the seat! 00:02:10.919 --> 00:02:13.960 I know. And I only asked you to fuck-off. 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:19.640 Well, I say, 00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:23.480 Fuck-off yourself then! 00:02:34.760 --> 00:02:35.720 Excuse me! 00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:36.600 Is this free? 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:39.160 Just a minute! 00:02:43.040 --> 00:02:44.640 Are you gay? 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:45.840 No. 00:02:45.920 --> 00:02:47.080 Are you Muslim? 00:02:47.160 --> 00:02:48.160 No! 00:02:48.200 --> 00:02:49.439 Are you black? 00:02:49.440 --> 00:02:50.549 No!!! 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:54.080 - But any of these are a problem to you? - No, no, no, no - 00:03:03.200 --> 00:03:05.309 - Is this free? - Yes, of course. 00:03:05.320 --> 00:03:09.760 But... I wouldn’t advise you to sit there. 00:03:12.480 --> 00:03:16.800 They're watching this spot very carefully. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:48.400 - Is this free? - Of course! 00:03:49.160 --> 00:03:52.229 But could you help me with a quick survey I’m conducting? 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.760 - Sure! - Thank you! 00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:57.440 - What’s your name? - Rosie. 00:03:57.520 --> 00:04:00.149 Rosie. Lovely name. And your age? 00:04:00.160 --> 00:04:03.349 22 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:04.909 Are you married? 00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:06.949 No, I’m single. 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:10.229 Lovely. What's your profession? 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:11.109 I’m a hairdresser. 00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:14.069 I bet you’re very good at it too! 00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:16.309 Can I just take a quick photo? 00:04:16.320 --> 00:04:17.869 - Really? - Smile! 00:04:17.880 --> 00:04:20.668 - Like this? - Perfect! 00:04:20.680 --> 00:04:23.909 Oh, you have a lovely smile! 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:25.629 What’s this for? 00:04:25.640 --> 00:04:28.669 It’s an anthropological research for the S&D. 00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:32.280 - Strictly confidential, of course. - I see... 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:35.480 What newspaper do you read? 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:37.720 The Sun 00:04:37.840 --> 00:04:40.040 Very popular 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:43.229 What's your mobile number? 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:46.880 07 700 900 352 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:49.440 - And bra size? - 34 C 00:04:49.840 --> 00:04:50.840 Lovely 00:04:55.280 --> 00:04:57.280 Do you vote Labour? 00:04:58.080 --> 00:04:58.880 No. 00:04:59.080 --> 00:05:00.360 - Lib Dem? - No... 00:05:00.760 --> 00:05:03.200 - Conservative?.. - No! 00:05:04.640 --> 00:05:08.149 Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage, 00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:11.709 or in terrorist activity, or genocide, or between 1933 and 1945 00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:14.229 were you involved in any way with persecutions associated with 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:16.080 Nazi Germany or its allies? 00:05:18.320 --> 00:05:19.600 Erm, no?! 00:05:22.640 --> 00:05:23.829 Is this free? 00:05:23.840 --> 00:05:27.160 - I’m sorry? - Is this seat free? 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:31.080 Is there a problem if I sit there? 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:35.400 Yes! I mean... maybe? 00:05:35.880 --> 00:05:37.949 I don't know... You could... 00:05:37.960 --> 00:05:39.840 Sorry, who are you talking... who are you talking to? 00:05:41.760 --> 00:05:42.989 Er, Trevor. 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:45.069 - Sorry, what’s your name? - Alice. 00:05:45.080 --> 00:05:47.269 Alice: this is Trevor. Trevor: this is Alice. 00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:49.029 This is awkward... 00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:50.629 I think, yes, I think I better go - 00:05:50.640 --> 00:05:53.400 No, no, please! I'm sorry, 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:58.040 have my seat! I insist! 00:06:01.280 --> 00:06:04.320 So, oh yeah... 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:14.800 Do you have a My Space account? 00:06:15.280 --> 00:06:15.789 No. 00:06:15.800 --> 00:06:17.509 Do you drive or drive a Hummer? 00:06:17.520 --> 00:06:19.909 I wish, err, no! 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:22.640 Do you consider yourself to have any kind of mental illness? 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:23.680 No! 00:06:23.960 --> 00:06:25.229 - Drug addiction? - No! 00:06:25.240 --> 00:06:26.909 - Lactose intolerance? - No! 00:06:26.920 --> 00:06:28.509 - Communication disorder? - No! 00:06:28.520 --> 00:06:29.240 Are you male? 00:06:29.440 --> 00:06:32.120 NO!.. WAIT! 00:06:36.200 --> 00:06:38.280 - well, you get the idea! 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:40.720 Of course, please - 00:06:51.400 --> 00:06:53.560 Can I help you? 00:06:56.360 --> 00:06:57.280 Very good! 00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:20.640 Is this free?