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I'm fat.

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Wow, I'm fat.

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She's only nineteen years old,
what am I doing with my life?

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Hey! Two likes! Nice.

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Do I like this photo?

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Does she really need more likes?

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I hope I'm going to be invited
to the wedding.

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One more like, nice!

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Welcome to the internal monologue
of a typical social media scroll.

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A monologue that so many
of us have every day,

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but we don't think about it,
we don't talk about it.

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In fact, many of us
can't even recognize it happening.

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I'm Bailey Parnell,

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and I will discuss
the unintended consequences

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social media is having
on your mental health.

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I will show you what's
stressing you out every day,

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what it's doing to you,

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and how you can craft
a better experience for yourself online.

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Just over a year ago,

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my sister and I took a four-day
vacation to Jasper, Alberta.

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This was the first no-work vacation
I had taken in four years.

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On this vacation, I was going dark.

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I was turning on airplane mode,
no email and no social media.

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The first day there,

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I was still experiencing
phantom vibration syndrome.

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That's where you think
your phone went off,

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and you check and it didn't.

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I was checking incessantly.

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I was distracted in conversation.

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I was seeing these gorgeous sights
Jasper had to offer,

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and my first reaction
was to take out my phone

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and post it on social.

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But of course it wasn't there.

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The second day was a little bit easier.

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You might be thinking I'm ridiculous,

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but I hadn't been completely
disconnected in over four years.

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This was practically
a new experience again.

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It wasn't until the fourth day I was there

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that I was finally comfortable
without my phone.

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I was sitting with my sister,
literally on the side of this mountain,

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when I started thinking to myself:

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"What is social media doing to me?

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What is it doing to my peers?"

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That was only four days,
and it was anxiety-inducing,

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it was stressful and it
resulted in withdrawals.

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That's when I started to ask questions

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and have since started
my master's research into this subject.

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I've worked in social marketing
primarily in higher education

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for most of my career.

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That means I work
with a lot of 18- to 24-year-olds,

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which also happens to be

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the most active demographic
on social media.

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The other thing you need to know about me

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is that I'm young enough
to have grown up with social media,

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but just old enough to be able
to critically engage with it

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in a way that twelve-year-old me
probably couldn't.

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My life is social media: personally,
professionally and academically.

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If it was doing this to me,
what was it doing to everyone else?

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I immediately found out I wasn't alone.

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The center for collegiate mental health
found that the top three diagnoses

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on University campuses
are anxiety, depression and stress.

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Numerous studies from the US,
Canada, the UK, you name it,

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have linked this high social media use

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with these high levels
of anxiety and depression.

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But the scary thing
is that high social media use

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is almost everyone I know:

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my friends, my family, my colleagues.

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90% of 18- to 29-year-olds
are on social media.

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We spend on average
two hours a day there.

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We don't even eat for two hours a day.

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70% of the Canadian population
is on social media.

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Our voter turnout isn't even 70%.

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Anything we do this often
is worthy of critical observation.

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Anything we spend this much time doing
has lasting effects on us.

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So let me introduce you

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to four of the most common
stressors on social media,

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that if go unchecked

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have potential to become
full-blown mental health issues,

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and this is by no means
an exhaustive list.

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Number one: the Highlight Reel.

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Just like in sports,

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the highlight reel is a collection
of the best and brightest moments.

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Social media is
our personal highlight reel.

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It's where we put up our wins,
or when we look great,

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or when we are out
with friends and family.

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But we struggle with insecurity

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because we compare
our behind-the-scenes

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with everyone else's highlight reels.

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We are constantly comparing
ourselves to others.

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Yes, this was happening
before social media,

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with TV and celebrity,

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but now it's happening all the time,
and it's directly linked to you.

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A perfect example I came across
in preparation for this talk

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is my friend on vacation: 'brb, nap ...'

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(Laughter)

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'Wait, why can't I afford a vacation?

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Why am I just sitting here
in my PJ's watching Netflix?

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I want to be on a beach.'

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Here's the thing, I know her very well.

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I knew this was
out of the ordinary for her.

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I knew she was typically
drowning in schoolwork.

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But we think, 'Who wants to see that?'

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The highlights are
what people want to see.

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In fact, when your highlights do well,

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you encounter the second
stressor on social media.

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Which is number two: Social Currency.

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Just like the dollar, a currency
is literally something we use

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to attribute value to a good or service.

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In social media, these likes,
the comments, the shares

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have become this form of social currency
by which we attribute value to something.

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In marketing, we call it
the 'Economy of Attention'.

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Everything is competing
for your attention,

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and when you give something a like
or a piece of that finite attention,

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it becomes a recorded transaction
attributing value.

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Which is great if you
are selling albums or clothing.

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The problem is that in our social media,

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[WE are the product.]

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We are letting others
attribute value to us.

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You know someone or are someone
that has taken down a photo

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because it didn't take as many likes
as you thought it would.

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I'll admit, I've been
right there with you.

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We took our product off the shelf
because it wasn't selling fast enough.

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This is changing our sense of identity.

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We are tying up our self-worth
of what others think about us

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and then we are quantifying it
for everyone to see.

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And we are obsessed.

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We have to get that selfie just right,
and we will take 300 photos to make sure.

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Then we will wait
for the perfect time to post.

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We are so obsessed

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we have biological responses
when we can't participate.

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Which leads me to
the third stressor on social media.

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Number three: F.O.M.O.

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It's a light phrase
we've all thrown around.

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F.O.M.O., or the 'fear of missing out',
is an actual social anxiety

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from the fear that you are missing
a potential connection,

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event, or opportunity.

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A collection of Canadian Universities
found that 7/10 students

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said they would get rid of
their social networking accounts

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if it were not for fear
of being left 'out of the loop'.

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Out of curiosity, how many people here

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have, or have considered
deactivating your social.

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That's almost everyone.

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That F.O.M.O. you feel,
the highlight reels, the social currency,

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those are all results of a relatively
'normal' social media experience.

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But what if going on social every day
was a terrifying experience?

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Where you not just
question your self-worth

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but you question your safety?

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Perhaps the worst stressor
on social media is number four:

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Online Harassment.

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40% of online adults
have experienced online harassment.

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73% have witnessed it.

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The unfortunate reality is
that it is much worse and much more likely

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if you are a woman, LGBTQ,
a person of color, muslim -

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I think you get the point.

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The problem is that in the news
we are seeing these big stories:

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The 18-year-old Tyler Clementi,

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who took his life after his roommate
secretly filmed him kissing another guy

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and outed him on Twitter.

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We see women like Anita Sarkeesian
being close to shamed of the internet

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and sent death and rape threats
for sharing their feminism.

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We see these stories once it is too late.

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What about the everyday
online harassment?

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What about that ugly snapchat
you sent your friend

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with the intention of it being private,
and now it is up on Facebook?

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'And so? It's just one photo, it's funny.'

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'Just one mean comment, not a big deal.'

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But when these micro moments
happen over and over again, over time,

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that's when we have a macro problem.

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We have to recognize
these everyday instances as well.

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Because if they go unchecked
and the effects unnoticed,

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we are going to have
many more Tyler Clementis.

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The effects are not always
easy to recognise.

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How many of you have noticed
the notifications at the top of my screen?

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How many of you, like me,
are bothered that they're not checked?

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Ok, let me check them for you.
(Sighs) Okay!

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Just one small example
of what this can do to you.

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Maybe you simply cannot focus
because your notifications

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are going off the handle,
and you need to check.

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That need, eventually becomes addiction.

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Regarding social media,
we are already experiencing

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impairment similar
to substance dependencies.

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With every like, you get a shot
of that feel-good chemical, dopamine.

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You gain more of that social currency.
So what do we do to feel good?

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We check likes - just one more time.

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We post - just one more time.

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We are anxious if we do not have access.

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Doesn't that sound like every drug
you have ever heard of?

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Yeah!

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So when that grows,

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when your social media use
goes unconfronted overtime,

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that's when we see the rising levels
of anxiety and depression:

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the F.O.M.O. the distractions,
the highlight reels, the comparisons;

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It's a lot, and it's all the time!

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The Canadian Association of Mental Health

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found that grades 7-12 students
who spent two hours a day on social media

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reported higher levels of anxiety,
depression and suicidal thoughts.

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For those of you doing the math,
that's as young as twelve years old.

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Here is the thing, 
I like social media. I do, I love it.

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Hearing what I've said today

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might make you think
I want you to get off of it.

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But I don't.

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I don't think it's going anywhere,

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so I'm not going to waste my time

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telling you to spend less time
on social media.

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Frankly, I don't think
absence is an option anymore.

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But that does not mean
you can't practice 'safe social'.

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Everything I have talked about today

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has nothing and everything to do
with social media.

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I mean, social media
is neither good nor bad.

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It's just the most recent tool we use
to do what we have always done:

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tell stories and communicate
with each other.

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You wouldn't blame Samsung Television
for a bad TV show.

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Twitter doesn't make people
write hateful posts.

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When we talk about
this dark side of social media,

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what we really talk about
is the dark side of people.

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That dark side that makes
harassers harass;

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that insecurity that makes you
take down a photo

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you were excited to share.

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That dark side that looks at a picture
of a happy family and wonders

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why yours does not look like that.

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So as parents, as educators,
as friends, as bosses

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this dark side is
what we need to focus on.

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We need preventative strategies
and coping strategies

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so that when you have your low days -
because you will -

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when you're questioning your self-worth,
you never get as low as Tyler Clementi -

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and the many others like him.

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'OK, Bailey, how do you find
social media wellness?'

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Here's the good news:

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Recognising a problem
is the first step to fixing it.

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So hearing this talk is just that,
step one: recognise the problem.

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You know the power of suggestion,

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when someone tells you about something
and you start seeing it everywhere.

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That's why awareness is critical.

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Because now you will at least
be better able to recognise these effects

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if and when they happen to you.

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The second thing you are going to do
is audit your social media diet.

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The same way we monitor
what goes into our mouth,

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monitor whatever goes
into your head and heart.

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Ask yourself: 'Did that Facebook scroll
make me feel better or worse off?'

240
00:12:37,397 --> 00:12:39,937
'How many times
do I actually check likes?'

241
00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:42,834
'Why am I responding
this way to that photo?'

242
00:12:43,117 --> 00:12:45,860
Then ask yourself if you are
happy with the results.

243
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,927
You might be and that's OK!

244
00:12:48,322 --> 00:12:51,059
But if you're not, move on to step three.

245
00:12:51,593 --> 00:12:53,858
Create a better online experience.

246
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,049
After my partner did his audit,

247
00:12:56,049 --> 00:12:59,080
he realised his self-worth
was too tied up in social media,

248
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:03,163
but particularly celebrities reminding him
of the things he didn't have.

249
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:06,219
So he unfollowed all brands
and all celebrities.

250
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,016
That worked for him.

251
00:13:08,027 --> 00:13:10,141
But it might not be celebrities for you.

252
00:13:10,141 --> 00:13:13,051
For me, I had to purge
other people off my timeline.

253
00:13:13,051 --> 00:13:14,381
Let me tell you a secret.

254
00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:17,221
You do not have to follow your 'friends'.

255
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:19,973
The truth is that sometimes our friends,

256
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:23,219
or the people we have
on Facebook as a courtesy,

257
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,582
they just suck online!

258
00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:27,936
You find yourself in this
passive-aggressive status war

259
00:13:27,936 --> 00:13:29,956
you didn't even know was happening.

260
00:13:29,956 --> 00:13:33,805
Or you are looking at 50 photos
of the same concert from the same angle.

261
00:13:33,805 --> 00:13:35,685
(Laughter)

262
00:13:35,685 --> 00:13:39,355
If you want to follow artists,
or comedians, or cats,

263
00:13:39,355 --> 00:13:40,977
you can do that.

264
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:43,737
The last thing you will do
is model good behaviour.

265
00:13:43,737 --> 00:13:46,787
Offline we are taught not to bully
other kids in the playground.

266
00:13:46,787 --> 00:13:49,822
We are taught to respect others
and treat them how they deserve.

267
00:13:49,822 --> 00:13:52,328
We are taught not to kick others
when they are down,

268
00:13:52,328 --> 00:13:54,120
or take pleasure in their downfalls.

269
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,771
Social media is a tool.

270
00:13:55,953 --> 00:13:59,601
A tool that can be used for good,
for more positive groups,

271
00:13:59,601 --> 00:14:03,448
for revolutions, for putting
grumpy cat in Disney movies.

272
00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:04,775
(Laughs)

273
00:14:04,775 --> 00:14:06,464
Internet is a weird place.

274
00:14:07,099 --> 00:14:09,315
Is social media hurting
your mental health?

275
00:14:09,325 --> 00:14:11,375
The answer is: it doesn't have to.

276
00:14:11,758 --> 00:14:15,340
Social can tear you down,
yes, or it can lift you up,

277
00:14:15,826 --> 00:14:19,485
where you leave feeling better off,
or have an actual laugh-out-loud.

278
00:14:20,508 --> 00:14:22,463
Finally, I have 24 hours in a day,

279
00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:25,463
if I spend two of those hours
on social media,

280
00:14:25,463 --> 00:14:29,987
then I want my experiences to be full
of inspiration, laughs, motivation,

281
00:14:29,987 --> 00:14:32,854
and a whole lot of grumpy cat
in Disney movies.

282
00:14:33,689 --> 00:14:34,710
Thank you.

283
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:37,260
(Applause)