0:00:01.037,0:00:04.682 Alec Soth: So about 10 years ago,[br]I got a call from a woman in Texas, 0:00:04.682,0:00:06.354 Stacey Baker, 0:00:06.354,0:00:10.116 and she'd seen some of my photographs[br]in an art exhibition 0:00:10.116,0:00:14.852 and was wondering if she could commission[br]me to take a portrait of her parents. 0:00:15.892,0:00:19.335 Now, at the time I hadn't met Stacey,[br]and I thought this was some sort of 0:00:19.335,0:00:23.367 wealthy oil tycoon and I'd struck it rich, 0:00:23.367,0:00:25.242 but it was only later that I found out 0:00:25.242,0:00:28.449 she'd actually taken out a loan[br]to make this happen. 0:00:29.409,0:00:31.076 I took the picture of her parents, 0:00:31.076,0:00:35.074 but I was actually more excited[br]about photographing Stacey. 0:00:35.074,0:00:36.832 The picture I made that day 0:00:36.832,0:00:39.946 ended up becoming[br]one of my best-known portraits. 0:00:41.566,0:00:45.031 At the time I made this picture,[br]Stacey was working as an attorney 0:00:45.031,0:00:46.686 for the State of Texas. 0:00:46.686,0:00:51.386 Not long after, she left her job[br]to study photography in Maine, 0:00:51.386,0:00:53.651 and while she was there,[br]she ended up meeting 0:00:53.651,0:00:56.786 the director of photography[br]at the New York Times Magazine 0:00:56.786,0:01:00.153 and was actually offered a job. 0:01:00.153,0:01:02.982 Stacey Baker: In the years since,[br]Alec and I have done 0:01:02.982,0:01:05.214 a number of magazine projects together, 0:01:05.214,0:01:07.165 and we've become friends. 0:01:07.165,0:01:11.948 A few months ago, I started talking[br]to Alec about a fascination of mine. 0:01:11.948,0:01:15.338 I've always been obsessed[br]with how couples meet. 0:01:15.338,0:01:18.310 I asked Alec how he[br]and his wife Rachel met, 0:01:18.310,0:01:21.166 and he told me the story[br]of a high school football game 0:01:21.166,0:01:24.091 where she was 16 and he was 15, 0:01:24.091,0:01:26.181 and he asked her out. 0:01:26.181,0:01:28.015 He liked her purple hair. 0:01:28.015,0:01:31.173 She said yes, and that was it. 0:01:31.173,0:01:35.469 I then asked Alec if he'd be interested[br]in doing a photography project 0:01:35.469,0:01:37.280 exploring this question. 0:01:37.280,0:01:41.320 AS: And I was interested in the question,[br]but I was actually much more interested 0:01:41.320,0:01:44.796 in Stacey's motivation for asking it, 0:01:44.796,0:01:48.727 particularly since I'd never known[br]Stacey to have a boyfriend. 0:01:48.727,0:01:51.513 So as part of this project,[br]I thought it'd be interesting 0:01:51.513,0:01:53.626 if she tried to meet someone. 0:01:53.626,0:01:58.471 So my idea was to have Stacey here[br]go speed dating 0:01:58.471,0:02:02.542 in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day. 0:02:02.542,0:02:08.463 (Laughter) (Applause) (Music) 0:02:08.463,0:02:13.664 SB: We ended up at what was advertised[br]as the world's largest speed dating event. 0:02:13.664,0:02:15.684 I had 19 dates 0:02:15.684,0:02:18.679 and each date lasted three minutes. 0:02:18.679,0:02:22.616 Participants were given a list of ice-[br]breaker questions to get the ball rolling, 0:02:22.616,0:02:26.563 things like, "If you could be any kind[br]of animal, what would you be?" 0:02:26.563,0:02:28.444 That sort of thing. 0:02:28.444,0:02:30.858 My first date was Colin. 0:02:30.858,0:02:32.669 He's from England, 0:02:32.669,0:02:37.824 and he once married a woman he met[br]after placing an ad for a Capricorn. 0:02:37.824,0:02:40.169 Alec and I saw him[br]at the end of the evening, 0:02:40.169,0:02:45.092 and he said he'd kissed a woman in line[br]at one of the concession stands. 0:02:45.092,0:02:48.398 Zack and Chris came[br]to the date-a-thon together. 0:02:50.838,0:02:53.239 This is Carl. 0:02:53.239,0:02:58.663 I asked Carl, "What's the first thing[br]you notice about a woman?" 0:02:58.663,0:03:00.753 He said, "Tits." 0:03:00.753,0:03:03.190 (Laughter) 0:03:05.350,0:03:08.554 Matthew is attracted to women[br]with muscular calves. 0:03:08.554,0:03:12.385 We talked about running. He does[br]triathlons, I run half-marathons. 0:03:12.385,0:03:17.238 Alec actually liked his eyes and asked[br]if I was attracted to him, but I wasn't, 0:03:17.238,0:03:20.219 and I don't think he was[br]attracted to me either. 0:03:21.349,0:03:24.715 Austin and Mike came together. 0:03:24.715,0:03:27.338 Mike asked me a hypothetical question. 0:03:27.338,0:03:31.959 He said, "You're in an elevator[br]running late for a meeting. 0:03:31.959,0:03:34.397 Someone makes a dash for the elevator. 0:03:34.397,0:03:37.346 Do you hold it open for them?" 0:03:37.346,0:03:39.343 And I said I would not. 0:03:39.343,0:03:41.926 (Laughter) 0:03:43.766,0:03:47.818 Cliff said the first thing he notices[br]about a woman is her teeth, 0:03:47.818,0:03:50.813 and we complimented each other's teeth. 0:03:50.813,0:03:53.181 Because he's an open mouth sleeper, 0:03:53.181,0:03:57.384 he says he has to floss more[br]to help prevent gum disease, 0:03:57.384,0:03:59.799 and so I asked him how often he flosses, 0:03:59.799,0:04:02.399 and he said, "Every other day." 0:04:02.399,0:04:04.214 (Laughter) 0:04:05.534,0:04:07.972 Now, as someone who flosses twice a day, 0:04:07.972,0:04:10.372 I wasn't really sure that[br]that was flossing more 0:04:10.372,0:04:12.894 but I don't think I said that out loud. 0:04:12.894,0:04:15.936 Bill is an auditor, 0:04:15.936,0:04:21.419 and we talked the entire three minutes[br]about auditing. (Laughter) 0:04:22.669,0:04:26.640 The first thing Spencer notices[br]about a woman is her complexion. 0:04:26.640,0:04:29.333 He feels a lot of women[br]wear too much makeup, 0:04:29.333,0:04:33.164 and that they should only wear enough[br]to accentuate the features that they have. 0:04:33.164,0:04:35.231 I told him I didn't wear any makeup at all 0:04:35.231,0:04:38.249 and he seemed to think[br]that that was a good thing. 0:04:39.317,0:04:43.404 Craig told me he didn't think[br]I was willing to be vulnerable. 0:04:43.404,0:04:48.466 He was also frustrated when I couldn't[br]remember my most embarrassing moment. 0:04:48.466,0:04:50.768 He thought I was lying, but I wasn't. 0:04:50.768,0:04:53.852 I didn't think he liked me at all,[br]but at the end of the night, 0:04:53.852,0:04:57.173 he came back to me and he gave me[br]a box of chocolates. 0:04:57.846,0:05:00.540 William was really difficult to talk to. 0:05:00.540,0:05:02.676 I think he was drunk. 0:05:02.676,0:05:05.111 (Laughter) 0:05:05.601,0:05:08.875 Actor Chris McKenna[br]was the MC of the event. 0:05:08.875,0:05:11.336 He used to be on[br]"The Young and the Restless." 0:05:11.336,0:05:14.076 I didn't actually go on a date with him. 0:05:14.076,0:05:17.621 Alec said he saw several women[br]give their phone numbers to him. 0:05:18.791,0:05:23.620 Needless to say, I didn't fall in love. 0:05:23.620,0:05:27.614 I didn't feel a particular connection with[br]any of the men that I went on dates with, 0:05:27.614,0:05:32.262 and I didn't feel like they felt[br]a particular connection with me either. 0:05:33.302,0:05:36.043 AS: Now, the most beautiful thing to me -- 0:05:36.043,0:05:41.626 (Laughter) -- as a photographer[br]is the quality of vulnerability. 0:05:41.626,0:05:45.330 The physical exterior reveals a crack[br]in which you can get a glimpse 0:05:45.330,0:05:48.511 at a more fragile interior. 0:05:48.511,0:05:51.878 At this date-a-thon event,[br]I saw so many examples of that, 0:05:51.878,0:05:56.499 but as I watched Stacey's dates[br]and talked to her about them, 0:05:56.499,0:06:02.512 I realized how different[br]photographic love is from real love. 0:06:02.512,0:06:06.162 What is real love? How does it work? 0:06:06.162,0:06:10.504 In order to work on this question[br]and to figure out how someone goes 0:06:10.504,0:06:15.078 from meeting on a date[br]to having a life together, 0:06:15.078,0:06:17.632 Stacey and I went to Sun City Summerlin, 0:06:17.632,0:06:21.769 which is the largest[br]retirement community in Las Vegas. 0:06:23.019,0:06:27.638 Our contact there was George,[br]who runs the community's photography club. 0:06:27.639,0:06:32.447 He arranged for us to meet other couples[br]in their makeshift photo studio. 0:06:32.447,0:06:37.515 SB: After 45 years of marriage,[br]Anastasia's husband died two years ago, 0:06:37.515,0:06:40.667 so we asked if she had[br]an old wedding picture. 0:06:40.667,0:06:44.080 She met her husband[br]when she was a 15-year-old waitress 0:06:44.080,0:06:46.565 at a small barbecue place in Michigan. 0:06:46.565,0:06:48.237 He was 30. 0:06:48.237,0:06:50.512 She'd lied about her age. 0:06:50.512,0:06:53.321 He was the first person she'd dated. 0:06:53.321,0:06:57.780 Dean had been named photographer of[br]the year in Las Vegas two years in a row, 0:06:57.780,0:06:59.660 and this caught Alec's attention, 0:06:59.660,0:07:02.238 as did the fact [br]that he met his wife, Judy, 0:07:02.238,0:07:05.767 at the same age when Alec met Rachel. 0:07:05.767,0:07:08.739 Dean admitted that he likes[br]to look at beautiful women, 0:07:08.739,0:07:12.686 but he's never questioned[br]his decision to marry Judy. 0:07:12.686,0:07:15.054 AS: George met Josephine[br]at a parish dance. 0:07:15.054,0:07:17.562 He was 18, she was 15. 0:07:17.562,0:07:21.115 Like a lot of the couples we met,[br]they weren't especially philosophical 0:07:21.115,0:07:23.460 about their early choices. 0:07:23.460,0:07:26.041 George said something[br]that really stuck with me. 0:07:26.041,0:07:31.565 He said, "When you get that feeling,[br]you just go with it." 0:07:34.142,0:07:37.675 Bob and Trudy met on a blind date[br]when she was still in high school. 0:07:37.675,0:07:40.445 They said they weren't particularly[br]attracted to each other 0:07:40.445,0:07:41.865 when the first met. 0:07:41.865,0:07:44.543 Nevertheless, they were[br]married soon after. 0:07:45.113,0:07:47.528 SB: The story that stayed with me the most 0:07:47.528,0:07:52.265 was that of George, the photography club[br]president, and his wife, Mary. 0:07:52.265,0:07:55.655 This was George and Mary's[br]second marriage. 0:07:55.655,0:08:00.345 They met at a country-western club[br]in Louisville, Kentucky called the Sahara. 0:08:00.345,0:08:04.083 He was there alone drinking[br]and she was with friends. 0:08:04.083,0:08:09.795 When they started dating,[br]he owed the IRS 9,000 dollars in taxes, 0:08:09.795,0:08:12.326 and she offered to help him[br]get out of debt, 0:08:12.326,0:08:16.296 so for the next year, he turned[br]his paychecks over to Mary, 0:08:16.296,0:08:18.804 and she got him out of debt. 0:08:18.804,0:08:23.239 George was actually an alcoholic[br]when they married, and Mary knew it. 0:08:23.239,0:08:26.072 At some point in their marriage,[br]he says he consumed 0:08:26.072,0:08:29.601 54 beers in one day. 0:08:29.601,0:08:32.434 Another time, when he was drunk,[br]he threatened to kill Mary 0:08:32.434,0:08:33.966 and her two kids, 0:08:33.966,0:08:38.412 but they escaped and a SWAT team[br]was called to the house. 0:08:38.412,0:08:40.583 Amazingly, Mary took him back, 0:08:40.583,0:08:42.905 and eventually things got better. 0:08:42.905,0:08:45.761 George has been involved[br]in Alcoholics Anonymous 0:08:45.761,0:08:48.664 and hasn't had a drink in 36 years. 0:08:48.664,0:08:49.778 (Music) 0:08:49.778,0:08:52.125 At the end of the day,[br]after we left Sun City, 0:08:52.125,0:08:54.539 I told Alec that I didn't actually think 0:08:54.539,0:08:58.672 that the stories of how these couples met[br]were all that interesting. 0:08:58.672,0:09:00.878 What was more interesting 0:09:00.878,0:09:04.593 was how they managed to stay together. 0:09:04.593,0:09:08.773 AS: They all had this beautiful[br]quality of endurance, 0:09:08.773,0:09:11.048 but that was true of the singles, too. 0:09:11.048,0:09:14.856 The world is hard,[br]and the singles were out there 0:09:14.856,0:09:17.201 trying to connect with other people, 0:09:17.201,0:09:19.825 and the couples[br]were holding onto each other 0:09:19.825,0:09:21.592 after all these decades. 0:09:23.842,0:09:27.151 My favorite pictures on this trip[br]were of Joe and Roseanne. 0:09:27.151,0:09:29.395 Now, by the time we met Joe and Roseanne, 0:09:29.395,0:09:34.906 we'd gotten in the habit of asking couples[br]if they had an old wedding photograph. 0:09:34.906,0:09:39.712 In their case, they simultaneously[br]pulled out of their wallets 0:09:39.712,0:09:44.008 the exact same photograph. 0:09:44.008,0:09:47.142 What's more beautiful,[br]I thought to myself, 0:09:47.142,0:09:51.438 this image of a young couple[br]who has just fallen in love 0:09:51.438,0:09:56.644 or the idea of these two people[br]holding onto this image for decades? 0:09:58.264,0:10:00.122 Thank you. 0:10:00.122,0:10:05.532 (Applause)