Hi, I'm Hardy Clark
and this is my wife, Karen,

and we've been married
for thirteen years.

Race was not really an issue 
when we met.

I know I had never dated 
anybody outside

of my race before.

I don't think he had, 
but, like I said, we just

had a commonality 
between each other, so.

I think we kinda hid it 
for a while.

You know, I didn't tell my friends 
too much,

and I don't think he told his.

Yeah, I mean there was 
a small group of common people

that we kinda worked with, 
but I think for a while

it was kinda just us.

and that was, it was kinda...

my attitude was, "it's nobodies' 
business."

(Karen) my family did not 
take too kindly to me and Hardy

getting married.

In fact, my mom was livid 
about the situation.

She actually stopped 
speaking to me for a while.

So, she didn't come to my wedding.

She just didn't talk to me 
for like, about the first year.

And then. finally- 
(Hardy) -was it that long?

Yeah. A year. I remember
going home for Thanksgiving

and I was getting off 
the plane,

and she showed up 
at the airport with

my sister-in-law, but she 
refused to speak to me

she refused to even 
look at me.

Every time she addressed me, 
she addressed through

my sister-in-law, but she did 
not speak to me directly.

[laughs]

So, it was a pretty bad 
Christmas at that point.

You know, she might have 
said a few words,

but they were always 
spoke to my sister-in-law,

and not directly to me.

But, after a while, 
she kind of, um,

you know, she came around.

I mean, she loves him now, 
but thirteen years later.

[giggles]

It just took a minute.

[both chuckle]

(Hardy) Karen's mother's actually 
from New Orleans,

and we went up to Chicago 
for the holidays several years ago,

and when we got to the house, 
it was later at night

and we'd been driving...

It was cold outside.

So we opened up the backdoor,
and this strange odor kinda

wafted out the backdoor
when we opened it.

It was Karen's mom and she 
had a big ol' pot of Chitterlings

on the stove.

[Karen laughs]

(Hardy continues) It was 
Christmas, and there's

Karen's niece, her fiance at the time.

He's actually white as well.

So we both got there, 
to eat the chitterlings.

And so we uh- we gave them a try.

And that's uh- [both laugh]

I don't need to try them again.

I got my fill.

(Karen) I think dating outside 
of our race is very hard

because of the initial differences
that may take place.

There may be things that 
I wanna do that he may

not necessarily wanna do, 
because of that.

Or, places that he may wanna go
that I don't- all of a sudden feel

safe, you know, going to.

or, you know, I have to think 
twice about going to.

So, it does make a difference 
and into the beginning

when you're dating, 
you do kinda worry what

other people will think.

And so, you may be less 
inclined, to maybe go out

to different places, 
because people stare at you.

You know, wherever you go, 
and so that makes you

uncomfortable, you know, 
just for the fact that your

uncomfortable, just going out
together.

And then to have people 
stare at you at that time too,

can make it a little bit more so.

I mean, I know we probably 
had more pizza nights

and movie nights at home 
than we did actually going out

somewhere.

(Hardy) The hardest thing for me
anyway, not that it's come to

fruition, but, I think when the 
kids arrive on scene,

just kind of... the fear that 
possibly...

our relationship, bringing them 
into this world may

make life hard for them.

In some way, somewhere along 
the way, because

they're not white, 
and they're not black.

and I hope, that the generation that 
they're coming up with now,

is in a better place 
than where our peers were

when we grew up.

And my parents, when they 
grew up, and so on.

I hope they're in a better place so 
they don't have to go through

any of that.

But, i dont know, that's something 
that's kinda on my mind

from time to time.

(Karen) Sydney will say different things 
to me.

She says sometimes, how, 
they want to put her in a category

or whatever, and that's what she'll say.

You know, "well, I don't belong in any
one of those, because I'm both.

And I'm glad that I'm both" you know, kind
of a thing, and we try to teach

her from both perspectives.
She likes the fact Hardy's 100%

Irish, and so she likes the culture 
of it and everything.

And then, she likes the 
African American part of it too.

So, she embraces it.

And then, Jayce, I don't think 
he really gets it too much.

He's always, like "Well, 
daddy's just a lighter shade

of brown than the rest of us."

That's just kinda how he looks at it.

(Karen speaking) Just the fact 
that one person is with somebody

from another race, regardless of 
what it is, I think,

ends up kinda being 
a big deal.

I know, a lot of times
you just hear different things.

Especially when there is a 
black guy whose dating

a white woman, or
you know, who are married.

And you know there's a lot 
of stigma I think, that's kinda

attached to that.

People are people.

It just doesn't matter what 
your race is.

What's important is the love 
that you share for that other person.

So, if they could see that, 
it's just like "well, you know,

that interracial couple loves 
the same way that you love yours."

(Hardy) It's not that big a deal.

I mean there's more and more 
people that are more comfortable

with people of other races.

And so, there's not 100% chance,
but there's a decent chance

that if you're black and you have 
a black child,

they may date somebody who's white
somewhere along the way.

Or, if you're white and have a 
white child, they may

date somebody who's black 
along the way.

And, it's okay.

It's uh- thirteen years, 
and it's a beautiful thing.

Relax.

[Karen laughs]

That's the message.