Hi, I'm Hardy Clark and this is my wife, Karen,
and we've been married for thirteen years.
Race was not really an issue when we met.
I know I had never dated anybody outside
of my race before.
I don't think he had, but, like I said, we just
had a commonality between each other, so.
I think we kinda hid it for a while.
You know, I didn't tell my friends too much,
and I don't think he told his.
Yeah, I mean there was a small group of common people
that we kinda worked with, but I think for a while
it was kinda just us.
and that was, it was kinda...
my attitude was, "it's nobodies' business."
(Karen) my family did not take too kindly to me and Hardy
getting married.
In fact, my mom was livid about the situation.
She actually stopped speaking to me for a while.
So, she didn't come to my wedding.
She just didn't talk to me for like, about the first year.
And then. finally- (Hardy) -was it that long?
Yeah. A year. I remember going home for Thanksgiving
and I was getting off the plane,
and she showed up at the airport with
my sister-in-law, but she refused to speak to me
she refused to even look at me.
Every time she addressed me, she addressed through
my sister-in-law, but she did not speak to me directly.
[laughs]
So, it was a pretty bad Christmas at that point.
You know, she might have said a few words,
but they were always spoke to my sister-in-law,
and not directly to me.
But, after a while, she kind of, um,
you know, she came around.
I mean, she loves him now, but thirteen years later.
[giggles]
It just took a minute.
[both chuckle]
(Hardy) Karen's mother's actually from New Orleans,
and we went up to Chicago for the holidays several years ago,
and when we got to the house, it was later at night
and we'd been driving...
It was cold outside.
So we opened up the backdoor, and this strange odor kinda
wafted out the backdoor when we opened it.
It was Karen's mom and she had a big ol' pot of Chitterlings
on the stove.
[Karen laughs]
(Hardy continues) It was Christmas, and there's
Karen's niece, her fiance at the time.
He's actually white as well.
So we both got there, to eat the chitterlings.
And so we uh- we gave them a try.
And that's uh- [both laugh]
I don't need to try them again.
I got my fill.
(Karen) I think dating outside of our race is very hard
because of the initial differences that may take place.
There may be things that I wanna do that he may
not necessarily wanna do, because of that.
Or, places that he may wanna go that I don't- all of a sudden feel
safe, you know, going to.
or, you know, I have to think twice about going to.
So, it does make a difference and into the beginning
when you're dating, you do kinda worry what
other people will think.
And so, you may be less inclined, to maybe go out
to different places, because people stare at you.
You know, wherever you go, and so that makes you
uncomfortable, you know, just for the fact that your
uncomfortable, just going out together.
And then to have people stare at you at that time too,
can make it a little bit more so.
I mean, I know we probably had more pizza nights
and movie nights at home than we did actually going out
somewhere.
(Hardy) The hardest thing for me anyway, not that it's come to
fruition, but, I think when the kids arrive on scene,
just kind of... the fear that possibly...
our relationship, bringing them into this world may
make life hard for them.
In some way, somewhere along the way, because
they're not white, and they're not black.
and I hope, that the generation that they're coming up with now,
is in a better place than where our peers were
when we grew up.
And my parents, when they grew up, and so on.
I hope they're in a better place so they don't have to go through
any of that.
But, i dont know, that's something that's kinda on my mind
from time to time.
(Karen) Sydney will say different things to me.
She says sometimes, how, they want to put her in a category
or whatever, and that's what she'll say.
You know, "well, I don't belong in any one of those, because I'm both.
And I'm glad that I'm both" you know, kind of a thing, and we try to teach
her from both perspectives. She likes the fact Hardy's 100%
Irish, and so she likes the culture of it and everything.
And then, she likes the African American part of it too.
So, she embraces it.
And then, Jayce, I don't think he really gets it too much.
He's always, like "Well, daddy's just a lighter shade
of brown than the rest of us."
That's just kinda how he looks at it.
(Karen speaking) Just the fact that one person is with somebody
from another race, regardless of what it is, I think,
ends up kinda being a big deal.
I know, a lot of times you just hear different things.
Especially when there is a black guy whose dating
a white woman, or you know, who are married.
And you know there's a lot of stigma I think, that's kinda
attached to that.
People are people.
It just doesn't matter what your race is.
What's important is the love that you share for that other person.
So, if they could see that, it's just like "well, you know,
that interracial couple loves the same way that you love yours."
(Hardy) It's not that big a deal.
I mean there's more and more people that are more comfortable
with people of other races.
And so, there's not 100% chance, but there's a decent chance
that if you're black and you have a black child,
they may date somebody who's white somewhere along the way.
Or, if you're white and have a white child, they may
date somebody who's black along the way.
And, it's okay.
It's uh- thirteen years, and it's a beautiful thing.
Relax.
[Karen laughs]
That's the message.