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Hi, I'm Hardy Clark
and this is my wife, Karen,

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and we've been married
for thirteen years.

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Race was not really an issue 
when we met.

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I know I had never dated 
anybody outside

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of my race before.

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I don't think he had, 
but, like I said, we just

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had a commonality 
between each other, so.

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I think we kinda hid it 
for a while.

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You know, I didn't tell my friends 
too much,

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and I don't think he told his.

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Yeah, I mean there was 
a small group of common people

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that we kinda worked with, 
but I think for a while

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it was kinda just us.

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and that was, it was kinda...

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my attitude was, "it's nobodies' 
business."

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(Karen) my family did not 
take too kindly to me and Hardy

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getting married.

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In fact, my mom was livid 
about the situation.

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She actually stopped 
speaking to me for a while.

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So, she didn't come to my wedding.

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She just didn't talk to me 
for like, about the first year.

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And then. finally- 
(Hardy) -was it that long?

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Yeah. A year. I remember
going home for Thanksgiving

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and I was getting off 
the plane,

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and she showed up 
at the airport with

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my sister-in-law, but she 
refused to speak to me

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she refused to even 
look at me.

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Every time she addressed me, 
she addressed through

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my sister-in-law, but she did 
not speak to me directly.

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[laughs]

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So, it was a pretty bad 
Christmas at that point.

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You know, she might have 
said a few words,

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but they were always 
spoke to my sister-in-law,

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and not directly to me.

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But, after a while, 
she kind of, um,

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you know, she came around.

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I mean, she loves him now, 
but thirteen years later.

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[giggles]

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It just took a minute.

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[both chuckle]

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(Hardy) Karen's mother's actually 
from New Orleans,

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and we went up to Chicago 
for the holidays several years ago,

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and when we got to the house, 
it was later at night

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and we'd been driving...

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It was cold outside.

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So we opened up the backdoor,
and this strange odor kinda

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wafted out the backdoor
when we opened it.

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It was Karen's mom and she 
had a big ol' pot of Chitterlings

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on the stove.

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[Karen laughs]

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(Hardy continues) It was 
Christmas, and there's

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Karen's niece, her fiance at the time.

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He's actually white as well.

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So we both got there, 
to eat the chitterlings.

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And so we uh- we gave them a try.

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And that's uh- [both laugh]

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I don't need to try them again.

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I got my fill.

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(Karen) I think dating outside 
of our race is very hard

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because of the initial differences
that may take place.

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There may be things that 
I wanna do that he may

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not necessarily wanna do, 
because of that.

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Or, places that he may wanna go
that I don't- all of a sudden feel

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safe, you know, going to.

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or, you know, I have to think 
twice about going to.

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So, it does make a difference 
and into the beginning

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when you're dating, 
you do kinda worry what

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other people will think.

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And so, you may be less 
inclined, to maybe go out 


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to different places, 
because people stare at you.

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You know, wherever you go, 
and so that makes you

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uncomfortable, you know, 
just for the fact that your

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uncomfortable, just going out
together.

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And then to have people 
stare at you at that time too,

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can make it a little bit more so.

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I mean, I know we probably 
had more pizza nights

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and movie nights at home 
than we did actually going out

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somewhere.

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(Hardy) The hardest thing for me
anyway, not that it's come to

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fruition, but, I think when the 
kids arrive on scene,

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just kind of... the fear that 
possibly...

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our relationship, bringing them 
into this world may

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make life hard for them.

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In some way, somewhere along 
the way, because

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they're not white, 
and they're not black.

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and I hope, that the generation that 
they're coming up with now,

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is in a better place 
than where our peers were

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when we grew up.

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And my parents, when they 
grew up, and so on.

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I hope they're in a better place so 
they don't have to go through

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any of that.

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But, i dont know, that's something 
that's kinda on my mind

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from time to time.

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(Karen) Sydney will say different things 
to me.

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She says sometimes, how, 
they want to put her in a category

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or whatever, and that's what she'll say.

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You know, "well, I don't belong in any
one of those, because I'm both.

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And I'm glad that I'm both" you know, kind
of a thing, and we try to teach

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her from both perspectives.
She likes the fact Hardy's 100%

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Irish, and so she likes the culture 
of it and everything.

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And then, she likes the 
African American part of it too.

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So, she embraces it.

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And then, Jayce, I don't think 
he really gets it too much.

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He's always, like "Well, 
daddy's just a lighter shade

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of brown than the rest of us."

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That's just kinda how he looks at it.

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(Karen speaking) Just the fact 
that one person is with somebody

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from another race, regardless of 
what it is, I think,

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ends up kinda being 
a big deal.

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I know, a lot of times
you just hear different things.

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Especially when there is a 
black guy whose dating

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a white woman, or
you know, who are married.

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And you know there's a lot 
of stigma I think, that's kinda

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attached to that.

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People are people.

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It just doesn't matter what 
your race is.

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What's important is the love 
that you share for that other person.

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So, if they could see that, 
it's just like "well, you know,

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that interracial couple loves 
the same way that you love yours."

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(Hardy) It's not that big a deal.

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I mean there's more and more 
people that are more comfortable

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with people of other races.

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And so, there's not 100% chance,
but there's a decent chance

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that if you're black and you have 
a black child, 


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they may date somebody who's white
somewhere along the way.

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Or, if you're white and have a 
white child, they may

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date somebody who's black 
along the way.

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And, it's okay.

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It's uh- thirteen years, 
and it's a beautiful thing.

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Relax.

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[Karen laughs]

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That's the message.