0:00:02.678,0:00:04.727
Hi, I'm Hardy Clark[br]and this is my wife, Karen,

0:00:04.727,0:00:08.685
and we've been married[br]for thirteen years.

0:00:08.685,0:00:11.277
Race was not really an issue [br]when we met.

0:00:11.277,0:00:13.947
I know I had never dated [br]anybody outside

0:00:13.947,0:00:16.317
of my race before.

0:00:16.317,0:00:19.697
I don't think he had, [br]but, like I said, we just

0:00:19.697,0:00:23.497
had a commonality [br]between each other, so.

0:00:23.497,0:00:27.116
I think we kinda hid it [br]for a while.

0:00:27.116,0:00:28.628
You know, I didn't tell my friends [br]too much,

0:00:28.628,0:00:31.859
and I don't think he told his.

0:00:31.859,0:00:35.814
Yeah, I mean there was [br]a small group of common people

0:00:35.814,0:00:41.989
that we kinda worked with, [br]but I think for a while

0:00:41.989,0:00:45.978
it was kinda just us.

0:00:45.978,0:00:48.430
and that was, it was kinda...

0:00:48.430,0:00:52.990
my attitude was, "it's nobodies' [br]business."

0:00:52.990,0:00:56.769
(Karen) my family did not [br]take too kindly to me and Hardy

0:00:56.769,0:00:57.747
getting married.

0:00:57.747,0:01:01.089
In fact, my mom was livid [br]about the situation.

0:01:01.089,0:01:04.870
She actually stopped [br]speaking to me for a while.

0:01:04.870,0:01:08.479
So, she didn't come to my wedding.

0:01:08.479,0:01:12.280
She just didn't talk to me [br]for like, about the first year.

0:01:12.280,0:01:14.669
And then. finally- [br](Hardy) -was it that long?

0:01:14.669,0:01:22.060
Yeah. A year. I remember[br]going home for Thanksgiving

0:01:22.060,0:01:23.500
and I was getting off [br]the plane,

0:01:23.500,0:01:25.299
and she showed up [br]at the airport with

0:01:25.299,0:01:28.277
my sister-in-law, but she [br]refused to speak to me

0:01:28.277,0:01:30.100
she refused to even [br]look at me.

0:01:30.100,0:01:32.871
Every time she addressed me, [br]she addressed through

0:01:32.871,0:01:36.130
my sister-in-law, but she did [br]not speak to me directly.

0:01:36.130,0:01:39.100
[laughs]

0:01:39.100,0:01:42.650
So, it was a pretty bad [br]Christmas at that point.

0:01:42.650,0:01:45.101
You know, she might have [br]said a few words,

0:01:45.101,0:01:46.982
but they were always [br]spoke to my sister-in-law,

0:01:46.982,0:01:49.871
and not directly to me.

0:01:49.871,0:01:53.470
But, after a while, [br]she kind of, um,

0:01:53.470,0:01:55.330
you know, she came around.

0:01:55.330,0:01:58.871
I mean, she loves him now, [br]but thirteen years later.

0:01:58.871,0:02:00.302
[giggles]

0:02:00.302,0:02:01.860
It just took a minute.

0:02:01.860,0:02:03.871
[both chuckle]

0:02:03.871,0:02:07.821
(Hardy) Karen's mother's actually [br]from New Orleans,

0:02:07.821,0:02:12.721
and we went up to Chicago [br]for the holidays several years ago,

0:02:12.721,0:02:16.603
and when we got to the house, [br]it was later at night

0:02:16.603,0:02:18.773
and we'd been driving...

0:02:18.773,0:02:20.153
It was cold outside.

0:02:20.153,0:02:26.581
So we opened up the backdoor,[br]and this strange odor kinda

0:02:26.581,0:02:31.361
wafted out the backdoor[br]when we opened it.

0:02:31.361,0:02:35.343
It was Karen's mom and she [br]had a big ol' pot of Chitterlings

0:02:35.343,0:02:36.282
on the stove.

0:02:36.282,0:02:37.723
[Karen laughs]

0:02:37.723,0:02:40.432
(Hardy continues) It was [br]Christmas, and there's

0:02:40.432,0:02:43.591
Karen's niece, her fiance at the time.

0:02:43.591,0:02:48.064
He's actually white as well.

0:02:48.064,0:02:52.634
So we both got there, [br]to eat the chitterlings.

0:02:52.634,0:02:57.732
And so we uh- we gave them a try.

0:02:57.732,0:03:00.984
And that's uh- [both laugh]

0:03:00.984,0:03:02.144
I don't need to try them again.

0:03:02.144,0:03:06.062
I got my fill.

0:03:06.062,0:03:09.921
(Karen) I think dating outside [br]of our race is very hard

0:03:09.921,0:03:13.675
because of the initial differences[br]that may take place.

0:03:13.675,0:03:18.324
There may be things that [br]I wanna do that he may

0:03:18.324,0:03:20.995
not necessarily wanna do, [br]because of that.

0:03:20.995,0:03:25.665
Or, places that he may wanna go[br]that I don't- all of a sudden feel

0:03:25.665,0:03:28.234
safe, you know, going to.

0:03:28.234,0:03:30.994
or, you know, I have to think [br]twice about going to.

0:03:30.994,0:03:34.793
So, it does make a difference [br]and into the beginning

0:03:34.793,0:03:37.055
when you're dating, [br]you do kinda worry what

0:03:37.055,0:03:39.651
other people will think.

0:03:39.651,0:03:43.395
And so, you may be less [br]inclined, to maybe go out [br]

0:03:43.395,0:03:46.224
to different places, [br]because people stare at you.

0:03:46.224,0:03:48.895
You know, wherever you go, [br]and so that makes you

0:03:48.895,0:03:51.185
uncomfortable, you know, [br]just for the fact that your

0:03:51.185,0:03:54.175
uncomfortable, just going out[br]together.

0:03:54.175,0:03:56.465
And then to have people [br]stare at you at that time too,

0:03:56.465,0:03:58.375
can make it a little bit more so.

0:03:58.375,0:04:01.385
I mean, I know we probably [br]had more pizza nights

0:04:01.385,0:04:04.517
and movie nights at home [br]than we did actually going out

0:04:04.517,0:04:05.837
somewhere.

0:04:05.837,0:04:09.586
(Hardy) The hardest thing for me[br]anyway, not that it's come to

0:04:09.586,0:04:13.015
fruition, but, I think when the [br]kids arrive on scene,

0:04:13.015,0:04:17.205
just kind of... the fear that [br]possibly...

0:04:17.205,0:04:23.157
our relationship, bringing them [br]into this world may

0:04:23.157,0:04:25.886
make life hard for them.

0:04:25.886,0:04:30.038
In some way, somewhere along [br]the way, because

0:04:30.038,0:04:34.238
they're not white, [br]and they're not black.

0:04:34.238,0:04:41.575
and I hope, that the generation that [br]they're coming up with now,

0:04:41.575,0:04:43.767
is in a better place [br]than where our peers were

0:04:43.767,0:04:45.066
when we grew up.

0:04:45.066,0:04:48.238
And my parents, when they [br]grew up, and so on.

0:04:48.238,0:04:50.217
I hope they're in a better place so [br]they don't have to go through

0:04:50.217,0:04:51.758
any of that.

0:04:51.758,0:04:55.767
But, i dont know, that's something [br]that's kinda on my mind

0:04:55.767,0:04:57.858
from time to time.

0:04:57.858,0:04:59.726
(Karen) Sydney will say different things [br]to me.

0:04:59.726,0:05:04.067
She says sometimes, how, [br]they want to put her in a category

0:05:04.067,0:05:05.608
or whatever, and that's what she'll say.

0:05:05.608,0:05:09.117
You know, "well, I don't belong in any[br]one of those, because I'm both.

0:05:09.117,0:05:14.928
And I'm glad that I'm both" you know, kind[br]of a thing, and we try to teach

0:05:14.928,0:05:19.517
her from both perspectives.[br]She likes the fact Hardy's 100%

0:05:19.517,0:05:22.648
Irish, and so she likes the culture [br]of it and everything.

0:05:22.648,0:05:26.948
And then, she likes the [br]African American part of it too.

0:05:26.948,0:05:29.430
So, she embraces it.

0:05:29.430,0:05:35.238
And then, Jayce, I don't think [br]he really gets it too much.

0:05:35.238,0:05:37.058
He's always, like "Well, [br]daddy's just a lighter shade

0:05:37.058,0:05:40.298
of brown than the rest of us."

0:05:40.298,0:05:43.309
That's just kinda how he looks at it.

0:05:43.309,0:05:47.139
(Karen speaking) Just the fact [br]that one person is with somebody

0:05:47.139,0:05:50.099
from another race, regardless of [br]what it is, I think,

0:05:50.099,0:05:53.840
ends up kinda being [br]a big deal.

0:05:53.840,0:05:56.228
I know, a lot of times[br]you just hear different things.

0:05:56.228,0:05:59.909
Especially when there is a [br]black guy whose dating

0:05:59.909,0:06:02.650
a white woman, or[br]you know, who are married.

0:06:02.650,0:06:04.509
And you know there's a lot [br]of stigma I think, that's kinda

0:06:04.509,0:06:06.220
attached to that.

0:06:06.220,0:06:07.692
People are people.

0:06:07.692,0:06:10.502
It just doesn't matter what [br]your race is.

0:06:10.502,0:06:14.298
What's important is the love [br]that you share for that other person.

0:06:14.298,0:06:19.400
So, if they could see that, [br]it's just like "well, you know,

0:06:19.400,0:06:22.751
that interracial couple loves [br]the same way that you love yours."

0:06:22.751,0:06:25.130
(Hardy) It's not that big a deal.

0:06:25.130,0:06:30.171
I mean there's more and more [br]people that are more comfortable

0:06:30.171,0:06:33.431
with people of other races.

0:06:33.431,0:06:37.922
And so, there's not 100% chance,[br]but there's a decent chance

0:06:37.922,0:06:42.538
that if you're black and you have [br]a black child, [br]

0:06:42.538,0:06:45.301
they may date somebody who's white[br]somewhere along the way.

0:06:45.301,0:06:47.012
Or, if you're white and have a [br]white child, they may

0:06:47.012,0:06:49.601
date somebody who's black [br]along the way.

0:06:49.601,0:06:52.390
And, it's okay.

0:06:52.390,0:06:57.132
It's uh- thirteen years, [br]and it's a beautiful thing.

0:06:57.132,0:07:00.562
Relax.

0:07:00.562,0:07:01.862
[Karen laughs]

0:07:01.862,0:07:07.211
That's the message.