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The hit Netflix series Stranger Things is a love letter to iconic pop culture media of decades past.

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The duffer brothers create this spectacle of nostalgia by borrowing liberally from movies and TV shows from the

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1970s and 80s.

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They appropriate and masterfully remix everything, from overarching themes to specific plot points

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From lighting techniques to snippets of dialogue

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"You want hurt me"

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"Oh, yeah.. Why not"

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"Because you're a policeman, there are rules for policemen"

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"Because you're a policeman

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Policemen have rules"

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But there are dangers to leaning too heavily on nostalgia,

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because media makers can end up reproducing harmful patterns along with their retro aesthetics.

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This is especially true when it comes to masculinity and romance conventions in popular entertainment.

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Some of the unintended consequences of

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uncritical homage coming to sharp focus with the character of Jim Hopper in season 3 of Stranger Things

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In addition to his new look inspired by Tom Selleck's Hawaiian shirts from the TV show Magnum P.I.,

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Hopper undergoes a sudden and dramatic personality shift.

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He moves from a deeply flawed but introspective character in the first and second seasons

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to an entitled aggressive verbally abusive one for much of the third

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"HEY...

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HEYY!

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WHEN I SAY THREE INCHES! THREE..."

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"Do you knock?...Jeez"

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Hopper's increasingly belligerent interactions with Joyce are particularly troubling.

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"He's not eccentric, he's certiable"

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"Glass Houses stress"

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"What?"

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"You know, pot calling the kettle black."

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"Oh come on"

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"Excuse me."

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"What?"

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"Do me a favor and move your lover's quarrel elsewhere"

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"This: not a lover's quarrel pal"

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"SPARE ME!"

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They're dynamic is borrowed from well-known bickering couples of the 1980s, notably Sam and Diane's love hate

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relationship on the sitcom Cheers

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"Rember the day I said this:

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you are the nuttiest, the stupidest,

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the phoniest fruitcake i have ever met"

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"You, Sam Malone, are the most arrogant, self centered..."

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"SHUT UP! Shut your fat mouth"

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"Make me"

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"Make you?"

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"I... I'm gonna bounce you off of every wall in this office!"

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It's an extremely unhealthy dynamic played off as an endearing form of sexual tension

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Now, I'm not going to be using that term in this video because what is often presented as sexual tension in Hollywood is, in

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reality, red flag behavior for an abusive relationship

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"You know, I always wanted to pop you one. Maybe this is my lucky day"

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"You disgust me"

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"I hate you"

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"Are you as turned on as I am?"

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"More"

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The framing of interpersonal hostility as a precursor to romance didn't begin or end with Cheers

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That pernicious pattern is part of a long tradition in media going all the way back to the Golden Age of cinema

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But in the 1980s love-hate romances could be found everywhere

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"Oh, I think I'm entitled to throw a little anger your way

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Especially when I'm being told how to live my life by Miss Hospital corners"

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"What's that supposed to mean"

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"Don't start with me, all right? I came halfway across Africa to rescue you"

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"Rescue me!

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I was doing fine without you."

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"All right, when we get out of this alive, I'm gonna kill you!"

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"Come on!"

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"You are imagining things"

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"Am I? Then why are you following me, afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?"

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"I'd just as soon kiss a wookie"

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"I can arrange!"

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Harrison Ford essentially built his whole career on belligerent romances, especially Indiana Jones

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"What are you supposed to be,

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A lion tamer?"

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"I'm allowing you to tag along.

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So why don't you give your mouth a rest?

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Okay, doll?"

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"What do you mean "tag along"?

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Ever since you got into my club you haven't been able to

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take your eyes off me."

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Oh, yeah?

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To understand why the Duffer brothers decision to pay homage to this particular media convention feels so jarring,

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We need to take a quick look back at Hopper's character arc in the first two seasons.

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Hopper begins the series as a man adrift an

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alcoholic struggling with the unresolved trauma of losing a daughter and a marriage.

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He's resigned to going through the motions of being police chief in a town

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where nothing ever happens

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"On a more pressing matter, Joyce Byers can't find her son this morning"

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"Joyce is very upset"

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"We've discussed this, mornings are for coffee and contemplation"

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"But chief she's in..."

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"Coffee and contemplation."

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He's also a bit of an asshole with a propensity for solving problems by punching them in the face

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Hopper's character arc in season 1 is all about regaining a sense of purpose.

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"Hey, I got something!"

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and through his quest to unravel the mystery around Will's disappearance, he begins to reestablish

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connections with the people around him

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"You were right

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This whole time you were right"

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Season two sees hopper continuing along that trajectory

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He's figuring out how to navigate his own fears while at the same time trying to be a father again

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"'Aight. Get to work"

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He still loses his temper and fails in balancing work with caregiving

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"Hey.. HEY! DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!"

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But he has made progress and remarkably he manages not to fall back into alcoholism or face-punching

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He's also learned to treat Joyce's feelings with a measure of sensitivity

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"Nothing's gonna go back to the way that it was, not really but it'll get better

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...in time"

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The last episode in season two gives us this heart-to-heart in which Hopper is openly vulnerable in

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sharing his feelings with Eleven

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"I've just been scared, you know

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that's why I get so...

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mad

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I'm so sorry. I could be so... so... "

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"Stupid"

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"Yeah...

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stupid"

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Now fast-forward to season 3, and all that character development has been thrown out the window in the name of paying homage to the

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1980s cowboy cop archetype

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"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"

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But resurrecting that brand of action hero masculinity brings with it a veritable minefield of unhealthy behaviors

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This new hopper is a domineering powder keg who no longer has any patience for the women in his life

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He's obsessed with sabotaging Eleven's teenage romance with her new boyfriend Mike

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"You know, is that smug son of a bitch Mike. He's corrupting her. I'm telling you and I'm just gonna lose it

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I mean, I'm gonna lose it, Joyce!"

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"Just take it down, Hopper."

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"I need for them to break up!"

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"That is not your decision!"

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Joyce, for her part, implores Hopper to calm down and talk it out.

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"I think you should talk to them

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"No, no because talking doesn't work"

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"Not yelling, not ordering

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Talk to them

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You know, with a heart to heart"

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"A heart to heart?

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What is that?"

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And we see her doing a lot of emotional labor for him in an effort to help facilitate a healthy

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heart-to-heart about boundaries

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"So we can build an environment where we all feel comfortable"

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It's all for naught though because this version of Hopper has forgotten how to express his feelings

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"Share our feelings"

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"To sharing our feelings. This isn't gonna work It's not gonna work."

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Yes, it will

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He suddenly can't even fathom the idea of openly communicating with his adopted daughter

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Even though we just saw him doing exactly that at the end of the previous season

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"Maybe I'll just kill Mike

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I'm the Chief of Police. I could cover it up"

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The old overprotective dad trope is played for laughs but it's all about patriarchal control

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"HEY!

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Hey! 3 inches minimum!"

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It's rooted in the idea that young women can't be trusted to make their own decisions and

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therefore need older men to step in and protect them from themselves

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Having devolved into someone who is unable to express himself, except through anger and rage,

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Hopper relies on intimidation to scare Mike into staying away from Eleven.

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"You're crazy!"

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"Crazy?

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You want to see real crazy?"

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This is just one of many instances where he relies on violence or the threat thereof to resolve conflicts

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Consistent with 1980s conventions of tough-guy manhood Hopper's violent outbursts are undertaken in a remarkably casual and

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humorous manner even when engaging in torture or murdering a bunch of people

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"I had it under control"

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"Yeah, sure you did"

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Hoppers aforementioned dysfunctional relationship with Joyce is another example of his dramatic regression

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"You wanna have dinner tonight"

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"I have plans"

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"Okay, sure"

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Even after Joyce says she's not interested, Hopper tries to trick her into a date by pretending it isn't one

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"I'll tell you everything over dinner. I was thinking, you know, Enzo's, tonight

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seven o'clock. Hey, before you say no. I'd like to make one thing crystal clear. This is not a date"

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"Wait, a date?

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You never said anything about a date."

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"I know. I didn't say anything about the date

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I just wanted to clear it up in case there was any confusion on your part"

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"There's not"

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"Great! It's just two friends getting together for a nice dinner"

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When she then doesn't show up for their not-date he becomes angry and resentful

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"Oh, look who it is"

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"We need to talk"

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"Yeah, we do.I haven't been stood up like that since Alice Gilbert in the ninth grade

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What are you doing?"

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Recall that over the prior two seasons

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he learned to respect Joyce's intuition because her ideas about the upside down have always turned out to be correct

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But this new Hopper angrily ridicules her for her investigations into paranormal phenomena

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"I think that when I asked you out, I think you got scared. I think you got scared and now,

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You're inventing things, you're inventing things to get worked up about so that you can push me

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away, because god forbid

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any of us

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move on. That would be too much, wouldn't it, Joyce?"

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His entitlement to a romantic relationship one that Joyce?

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escalates from not respecting her wishes to demeaning her feeling

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and then in fits of jealousy

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trying to police her friendships with other men

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"That's why you should listen to Alexei"

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"Yeah, your new boyfriend, right?"

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"Yes, every man I talk to from now on has to be my boyfriend"

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"He remind me a little bit of Russian Scott Clark."

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"Oh, here we go."

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"Maybe you should go on a date. I don't know. I'm thinking like Enzo's"

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Instead of framing any of this behavior as cause for alarm. It's all written to be part of an endearing

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Will-they-or-won't-they scenarios?

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"What are you gonna do? You are gonna walk back to Hawkins?"

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"I will do anything if it gets me away from you!"

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"CHILDREN!

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Why don't you two cut the horseshit and get to the part where you admit your sexual feelings for one another"

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"WOOO"

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"YOU ARE WAY OFF BASE, BUDDY"

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"OH, SPARE ME! SPARE ME! SPARE ME!"

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When actress Evan Rachel Wood, among others, pointed out the toxicity of Hopper's behavior on Twitter,

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she received an avalanche of defensiveness from fans who simply couldn't see what the big deal was

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"I'll tell you what you do? I'll tell you..."

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Well, it might be entertaining to watch fictional characters verbally sparring with each other, when media frames disrespect and ridicule has

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evidence of romantic interest, it can reinforce the idea that

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mistreatment is a normal part of courtship

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It can also lead people, including authority figures, to dismiss or downplay the seriousness of emotional abuse

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The truth is that

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psychological, emotional, and verbal abuse is just as real and can be just as harmful as physical violence

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Media stories frequently advance the dangerous myth that volatile or

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domineering men just need a special woman to soften their rough edges and temper their aggression

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But intimate partners are often the ones who bear the brunt of men's rage

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Guys like Hopper don't need a relationship, what they need is therapy

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If you were holding out hope that the Stranger Things writers may have been going for some sort of critical commentary, about unhealthy relationships

0:15:14.690,0:15:18.760
the final episode in the season makes clear, that is not the case.

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"You know,

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I think despite everything, I mean, despite the arguing

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I think we make a pretty good team"

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In a page lifted directly from 1980s rom-coms, Joyce ultimately responds to Hopper's belligerent entitled attitude

0:15:36.050,0:15:37.550
by

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asking him out

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"What you say? Friday, 8 o'clock?"

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This plot point then

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perpetuates the idea that controlling or aggressive behavior is somehow a sign of love attraction or passion

0:15:50.100,0:15:50.820
"Just for clarification

0:15:50.860,0:15:52.860
because I... I mean... just.. if

0:15:53.209,0:15:56.828
When you say date, just so that we're crystal clear about things, so"

0:15:56.828,0:15:57.829
"Yeah, Hop?

0:15:57.829,0:15:59.829
Stop talking, or I'll change my mind"

0:15:59.829,0:16:00.890
"Okay.. yeah.. okay"

0:16:00.890,0:16:06.800
It's the kind of twisted logic that can lead people to remain in unhealthy or abusive relationships

0:16:08.240,0:16:10.240
"Live for the day! Go for it, Sam!

0:16:10.240,0:16:12.240
I tell you, go for it!"

0:16:13.600,0:16:20.740
Hollywood writers like to use combative interactions between love interests because it's an easy shortcut to dramatic tension

0:16:21.140,0:16:24.339
but there are many many ways to write interesting conflicts.

0:16:24.709,0:16:29.289
For example, tensions can arise from external pressure on relationships

0:16:30.949,0:16:36.489
Things like shared traumatic experiences, which is something Stranger Things has in spades

0:16:37.490,0:16:43.240
There's no good reason to keep writing romantic tension as something drawn from interpersonal hostility

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When you really think about it, we very rarely see healthy relationship dynamics modeled on screen

0:16:51.720,0:16:57.589
That said, Stranger Things does give us one example of what a positive romantic relationship looks like

0:16:57.589,0:16:58.580
"Hey there"

0:16:58.580,0:16:59.380
"Hey"

0:16:59.380,0:17:01.580
"Do you happen to have this in any other colors?

0:17:01.589,0:17:03.589
I'm not a big fan of orange"

0:17:03.589,0:17:05.589
"I'll just check in the back"

0:17:06.900,0:17:13.128
Bob "the brain" Newby is Joyce's love interest and dad joke aficionado from season 2

0:17:15.750,0:17:20.750
Bob is loving and affectionate. He listens to Joyce and he respects her feelings

0:17:20.750,0:17:22.750
"I know it sounds silly"

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"No, it's not silly.

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It's not silly"

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While still honestly communicating his own wants and desires for the relationship

0:17:29.989,0:17:33.020
"What if we were to move out of Hawkins

0:17:33.200,0:17:35.200
Together"

0:17:37.080,0:17:42.494
This is essentially the exact opposite of how Hopper treats Joyce in season 3,

0:17:42.494,0:17:44.299
"I just, I like you so much

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Not just you

0:17:47.220,0:17:49.050
Everything that comes with you

0:17:49.050,0:17:50.480
your family, your boys"

0:17:50.480,0:17:56.359
Bob's genuinely loving nature is refreshing for male love interests, but it's also very

0:17:56.880,0:18:00.380
unusual, in fact, it's so unusual that we as the audience

0:18:00.990,0:18:07.760
almost automatically assume his compassionate persona must be some kind of trick or a cynical ploy

0:18:10.560,0:18:13.249
"Look at me now, I get to date Joyce Byers

0:18:17.520,0:18:19.520
See it all works out in the end"

0:18:19.520,0:18:20.640
"It does"

0:18:20.640,0:18:28.550
We've come to expect sensitive or loving male characters to ultimately be revealed as either selfish cowards or

0:18:28.820,0:18:31.360
to have secretly been evil all along "

0:18:31.360,0:18:32.460
"I hope

0:18:32.479,0:18:34.479
it doesn't suck"

0:18:34.880,0:18:39.840
If a man does turn out to be as warm-hearted as he initially appears

0:18:39.840,0:18:41.820
"Bob Newby. Superhero"

0:18:41.820,0:18:46.300
He's almost always killed off as a way to up the stakes for the other characters

0:18:47.130,0:18:51.589
"It's the ones like us, that don't punch back, that people really take advantage of

0:18:52.130,0:18:54.130
To rub your nose in it just a little bit more

0:18:56.490,0:18:58.490
I don't know why they do that

0:18:59.910,0:19:02.300
Maybe it makes them feel powerful"

0:19:04.890,0:19:07.670
It's the dysfunctional violent tough guys

0:19:07.670,0:19:14.749
like Hopper who are framed as having what it takes to conquer otherworldly threats and survive

0:19:15.420,0:19:20.060
A trend that helps normalize cultural ideals around aggressive masculinity

0:19:22.860,0:19:30.799
One of the reasons so many people have trouble recognizing abusive behavior is because in popular media, it's often done by the good guys

0:19:32.970,0:19:38.240
These are male characters who are otherwise written to be charming righteous and valiant

0:19:39.900,0:19:46.970
And like abusers in the real world these fictional men don't act in controlling or domineering ways all the time

0:19:47.490,0:19:49.819
their abusive behavior comes in waves,

0:19:50.490,0:19:55.099
often preceded by moments of kindness and then followed by expressions of remorse

0:19:57.630,0:20:02.749
Since Hopper is one of the good guys we're supposed to want him and Joyce to get together in the end

0:20:03.720,0:20:09.470
Despite his rage, his jealousy, his control issues, and his propensity for violent intimidation

0:20:10.110,0:20:13.370
we are nonetheless meant to be in Hopper's corner

0:20:14.640,0:20:18.470
And that's because Jim Hopper is not a one-dimensional cartoon oaf

0:20:19.140,0:20:25.310
We have after all been shown glimpses of his introspective caring and vulnerable sides

0:20:25.680,0:20:27.680
during the two previous seasons.

0:20:29.100,0:20:36.079
There are also a couple scenes near the end of season 3 that are very clearly designed to reinforce to viewers that Hopper really is

0:20:36.080,0:20:38.080
a good guy deep down inside

0:20:39.420,0:20:45.499
The first of these comes when he seemingly gives his life to save the world and the people he cares about

0:20:46.770,0:20:54.440
I'll make a whole video essay about the heroic sacrifice trope in the future. For now though. I'll just say that selfless acts are not

0:20:55.080,0:20:56.760
necessarily a negative thing

0:20:56.760,0:21:03.770
But for troubled male characters, like Hopper the grand heroic death is often written to be a shortcut to redemption

0:21:05.820,0:21:13.470
And a shortcut that doesn't require men to actually do the slow painful work of personal transformation.

0:21:17.769,0:21:22.049
The epilogue flashback at the end serves a similar narrative purpose.

0:21:23.229,0:21:29.789
In this scene, we hear Hopper's inner voice as he mulls over how to share his feelings with Eleven

0:21:30.549,0:21:33.449
"But lately, I guess I've been feeling

0:21:35.619,0:21:37.619
distant from you,

0:21:38.019,0:21:40.019
like you're

0:21:40.289,0:21:42.289
you're pulling away from me, or something"

0:21:42.419,0:21:49.759
The voice-over is meant to remind us that this is a man who is at least capable of being sincere caring and vulnerable.

0:21:50.309,0:21:55.729
The trouble is, good intentions don't mean anything without the follow-through and

0:21:56.309,0:22:01.099
Hopper never actually follows through in having that heart-to-heart with his adopted daughter.

0:22:03.630,0:22:05.490
Like we saw with his apparent death,

0:22:05.490,0:22:12.500
this flashback is designed to absolve Hopper of the emotional damage or harm he caused throughout the season

0:22:13.020,0:22:15.020
All without having him actually

0:22:15.390,0:22:18.409
apologize or make amends for his behavior.

0:22:21.390,0:22:28.249
I want to be clear about something, the problem isn't that male protagonists are sometimes depicted as having anger issues or

0:22:28.740,0:22:30.740
engaging in unhealthy behavior.

0:22:31.289,0:22:37.009
Character flaws are human and therefore a key ingredient in creating stories about relatable people.

0:22:37.740,0:22:40.640
The question is how are those flaws framed?

0:22:43.140,0:22:47.780
Are unhealthy behaviors romanticized excused or rationalized

0:22:48.480,0:22:52.939
or are they presented as cause for serious concern?

0:22:54.299,0:22:58.459
And critically, do these men learn to grow and change over time?

0:22:59.970,0:23:02.659
In action adventure stories like Stranger Things

0:23:02.940,0:23:08.539
we rarely see male heroes learning how to change their behavior, how to effectively communicate

0:23:09.150,0:23:11.150
or how to build and maintain

0:23:11.220,0:23:13.220
healthy relationships

0:23:13.220,0:23:15.220
"What did you say?"

0:23:19.550,0:23:27.310
At the end of season two it appeared as if Hopper might be able to break free from the constraints of 1980s action hero manhood.

0:23:28.490,0:23:36.370
Unfortunately, when media makers rely so uncritically on nostalgia for inspiration, it prevents them from imagining new possibilities

0:23:36.370,0:23:38.370
for male characters.

0:23:41.000,0:23:44.949
As a result, we risk encouraging men to remain stuck in the past

0:23:45.890,0:23:49.780
held hostage to retrograde ideals of masculinity.

0:23:52.940,0:23:55.750
I hope you enjoyed this bonus video on Stranger Things.

0:23:56.060,0:24:03.190
The next video published on my channel will be part two in my series on the sexual assault of men played for laughs in Hollywood.

0:24:03.560,0:24:10.179
So if you like these long form video essays, please consider going over to patreon and helping to fund this project there.

0:24:10.280,0:24:17.169
I've also left a link to Pay Pal in the description below. I really couldn't do this work without your support. So, thank you

0:24:17.170,0:24:19.170
so much