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Today I want to talk about

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the meaning of words,

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how we define them and how they,

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almost as revenge,

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define us.

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The English language[br]is a magnificent sponge.

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I love the English language.[br]I'm glad that I speak it,

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but for all that, it has a lot of holes.

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In Greek, there's a word,[br]"???"

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which is the hunger for disaster.

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You know, when you see[br]a thunderstorm on the horizon

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and you just find yourself[br]rooting for the storm.

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In Mandarin, they have a word[br]"???" --

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I'm not pronouncing that correctly --

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which means the longing[br]to feel intensely again

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the way you did when you were a kid.

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In Polish, they have a word "??"

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which is the hypothetical conversation

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that you compulsively[br]play out in your head.

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And finally, in German,[br]of course in German,

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they have a word called "??"

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which is the dread[br]of getting what you want.

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(Laughter)

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Finally fulfilling a lifelong dream.

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I'm German myself, so I know[br]exactly what that feels like.

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Now, I'm not sure if I would use[br]any of these words

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as I go about my day,

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but I'm really glad they exist.

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But the only reason they exist[br]is because I made them up.

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I am the author of "The Dictionary[br]of Obscure Sorrows,"

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which I've been writing[br]for the last seven years,

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and the whole mission of the project

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is to find holes[br]in the language of emotion

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and try to fill them so that[br]we have a way of talking about

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all those human peccadilloes[br]and quirks of the human condition

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that we all feel but may not think

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to talk about because we don't[br]have the words to do it.

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And about halfway through this project,

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I defined "sonder,"

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the idea that we all think of ourselves[br]as the main character

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and everyone else is just extras.

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But in reality, we're all[br]the main character,

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and you yourself are an extra[br]in someone else's story.

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And so as soon as I published that,

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I got a lot of response from people

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saying "thank you for giving voice[br]to something I had felt all my life

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but there was no word for that."

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So it made them feel less alone.

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That's the power of words,

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to make us feel less alone.

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And it was not long after that[br]that I started to notice sonder

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being used earnestly[br]in conversations online,

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and not long after that that I actually[br]noticed it, I caught it next to me

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in an actual conversation in person.

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There is no stranger feeling

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than making up a word and then seeing it

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take on a mind of its own.

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I don't have a word for that yet,

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but I will.

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(Laughter)

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I'm working on it.

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I started to think[br]about what makes words real,

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because a lot of people ask me,[br]the most common thing I got from people

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is, "Well, are these words made up?[br]I don't really understand."

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And I didn't really know what to tell them

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because once sonder started to take off,

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who am I to say what words are real[br]and what aren't.

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And so I sort of felt like Steve Jobs,[br]who described his epiphany

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as when he realized that most of us,[br]as we go through the day,

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we just try to avoid bouncing[br]against the walls too much

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and just sort of get on with things.

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But once you realize that people,

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that this world was built by people[br]no smarter than you,

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then you can reach out[br]and touch those walls

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and even put your hand through them

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and realize that you have[br]the power to change it.

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And when people ask me,

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"Are these words real?"

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I had a variety of answers[br]that I tried out.

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Some of them made sense.[br]Some of them didn't,

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but one of them I tried out was,

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"Well, a word is real[br]if you want it to be real."

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The way that this path is real

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because people wanted it to be there.

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(Laughter)

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It happens on college[br]campuses all the time.

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It's called a "desire path."

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(Laughter)

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But then I decided, what people[br]are really asking when they're asking

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if a word is real, they're really asking,

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"Well, how many brains[br]will this give me access to?"

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Because I think that's a lot of[br]how we look at language.

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A word is essentially a key

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that gets us into certain people's heads,

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and if it gets us into one brain,

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it's not really worth it,

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not really worth knowing.

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Two brains, eh, it depends on who it is.

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A million brains, okay, now we're talking.

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And so a real word is one that gets you[br]access to as many brains as you can.

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That's what makes it worth knowing.

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Incidentally, the realest word of all

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by this measure is this.

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[O.K.]

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That's it.

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The realest word we have.

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That is the closest thing we have[br]to a master key.

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That's the most commonly[br]understood word in the world,

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no matter where you are in the world.

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The problem with that is,

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no one seems to know[br]what those two letters stand for.

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(Laughter)

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Which is kind of weird, right?

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I mean, it could be a misspelling[br]of "all correct," I guess,

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or "old kinderhook."

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No one seems to know,

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but the fact that it doesn't matter

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says something about

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how we add meaning to words.

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The meaning is not[br]in the words themselves.

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We're the ones[br]that pour ourselves into it.

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And I think, when we're all searching[br]for meaning in our lives,

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and searching for the meaning of life,

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and I think words have[br]something to do with that.

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And I think if you're looking[br]for the meaning of something,

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the dictionary is a decent place to start.

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It brings a sense of order

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to a very chaotic universe.

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Our view of things is so limited

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that we have to come up with patterns[br]and shorthand and try to figure out

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a way to interpret it[br]and be able to get on with our day.

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We need words to contain us,[br]to define ourselves.

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I think a lot of us feel boxed in

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by how we use these words.

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We forget that words are made up.

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It's not just my words.[br]All words are made up,

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but not all of them mean something.

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We're all just sort of trapped[br]in our own lexicons

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that don't necessarily correlate[br]with people who aren't already like us,

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and so I think I feel us drifting[br]apart a little more every year,

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the more seriously we take words.

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Because remember, words are not real.

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They don't have meaning. We do.

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And I'd like to leave you with a reading

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from one of my favorite philosophers,

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Bill Watterson, who created[br]"Calvin and Hobbes."

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He said, "Creating a life that reflects[br]your values and satisfies your soul

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is a rare achievement.

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To invent your own life's meaning

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is not easy,

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but it is still allowed,

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and I think you'll be[br]happier for the trouble."

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Thank you.

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(Applause)