Got my Kesha hair today
You don't know if this is hair spray or semen
Dear fat people
Arggg some people are already really mad at this video!
What are you gonna do, fat people?
what are you gonna do?
What, you're gonna chase me?
Really? You're gonna chase me?
It's gonna be like fucking Frankenstein.
I can get away from you by walking at a reasonable pace.
Frankenstein? Not so fast.
Zombies, have apparently gotten faster.
I watched like 3 episodes of the Walking Dead,
and not being slow myself in the brain,
realized that every single episode is exactly the same.
Oh no, they need something.
But it's all the way over there!
Where the zombies are?
Fat shaming is not a thing.
Fat people made that up.
That's what race card with no race.
Yeah, but I couldn't fit to a store.
That's discrimination.
Uhh, nope.
That means you're too fat.
You should stop eating.
Everybody just needs to make more salad.
There's a race card, there's a disability card,
there's even a gay card,
because gay people are discriminated against, wrongfully so.
Gay card's commin in glitter.
It's fucking magical.
Are you gonna tell the doctor
that they're being "mean" and "fat shaming" you
when they say you have fucking heart disease?
I'm not talking about people who have a little bit of cushion for the pushin'.
If there's people watching this with a specific health condition,
this is not aimed to you.
I'm talking about the 35% of north americans,
who are obese.
That means you are so fat, you are affecting your own health.
Big boned isnt' a thing.
How stupid do I look?
Don't answer that.
There are no fucking skeletons that look like the michelin man.
Fat shaming, who came up with that?
That's fucking brilliant, yes!
Shame people who have bad habbits until they fucking stop!
Fat shaming!
If we offend you so much, that you lose weight,
LOSE WEIGHT
I'm ok with that.
You are killing yourself.
Yup, I'll sleep at night.
Maybe I'm a little jealous that you get to eat whatever you want.
Obesity is a disease?
Yes, so is being a shopaholic.
But I don't get a fucking parking pass.
It would make a lot of sense if I did.
I'm the one with all the bags.
Fat people parking spot should be at the back of mall parking lot.
Walk to the doors, and burn some calories.
Why are we helping them?
You wanna die quicker?
Come this way.
It's assisted suicide.
Isn't that ironic that it's taking a blond girl to explain shit?
That's irony, right?
I don't feel bad for you because you are taking your body for granted.
If it were like a bag of smarties,
you know what,
fuck this smarty.
You smarty?
Fuck you.
I'm gonna fucking mesh you up,
I'm gonna make you not good,
I'm gonna throw you on the groud,
That's ok because you got a bunch of other smarties.
You got one body.
One.
It has to take you all the way to the end.
You get that?
Good.
Fuck you smarty.
Oh my god the hashtags.
Bodypositive
If you wanna be positive to your body,
work out, and eat well.
That's being positive to your body.
You really think if enough of you hashtag something bad for you,
it makes it ok?
#Methlove
#Teamsmokers
Everybody use the hashtag, it will unplug our arteries!
They forgot to tell you that plus size stand for
plus heart disease, plus knee problems, plus diabetes,
plus your family and friends crying that they lost you too soon,
because you needed to have a coke plus fries.
Yeah! Plus size! Plus size!
I was at the airport not too long ago,
and I had to wait in one of those lines that's like -
As I get to the front of the line,
a family comes to the front and gets to butt me.
Fattest, most obese,
I'm talking TLC special fat.
You're a meth shamer.
They got to go to the front of the line,
cause they were complaining that their knees hurt too much to stand in it.
Oh, I just came an hour early like I was supposed to,
but you overeat, let me help you.
And they complained and they smelled like sausages,
I don't even think they ate sausages,
that's just their aroma.
They were so fat, that they were that standing-sweat-fat.
Crisco was coming out of their pores,
like a fucking play doh fun factory.
So I waited an extra 10, 15, 20 minutes.
Now I'm not gonna have time to get Starbucks.
I'm a white girl.
This is an issue.
And I totally got felt up by security,
because I'm always selected.
Brown people, it's me and you on that.
I'm a blond who can speak in full sentences and has no interest into sugardaddy.
I am a minority.
You already searched my ass, sir.
Oop!
Now I'm running to my plane.
Just as I stopped to wipe my sweat,
who do I see in a fucking golf cart?
Fat family!
So what, you got to butt me and ride in a gold cart,
and I'm sweating like a pig,
but if I play an ugly girl in a movie,
I get a fucking Oscar!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a formula to it guys.
Now I get on the plane, I find my lovely seat,
I'm sitting in the aile,
and a stewardess walks up to me,
" Hi ma'am, I hate to ask, but we've got a disabled passanger.
Would you mind switching seats? "
Of course cause I'm not an asshole,
I'm like "oh my god, of course, yes!"
Oh look, it's fat family.
And Jaba the son, sits right beside me.
I just lost my shit.
His fat was on my lap.
It was actually on my lap.
I took the handle,
I squished it down, I said 'my seat, your seat'.
I actually took his fat, and I pushed it into his seat,
and I held it.
He was fine.
He was just fat.
Watching the movie
No, n- no.
Make better choices.
Yes.
Genetics plays a part in things to a degree,
of course.
Big sassy black women in church dresses are my fav thing in the world.
But I'm really fucking selfish, I don't wanna keep you around.
I have no idea the correlation between high notes and calory intake,
but I'm not gonna question it.
And I'm not saying all these to be an asshole,
I'm saying this because your friends should be saying it to you.
Think of me as one of your ride or dies.
If you're dating a douchebag,
and you come to me, all like,
My boyfriend's being a douchebag.
That's cuz you're dating a douchebag.
But what do I do?
Get rid of the douche!
True fact, they used to use vinegar as douches.
My ladybitch just reacted like a turtle's head being touched.
The truth is, I will actually love you no matter what,
but I really, REALLY hope
that this bomb of truth exploding into your face
will act as shrapnel that sips into your soul,
makes you wanna be healthier
so that we can enjoy you as human beings longer on this planet.
Fuck you smarty
Hashtag teamsmokers
Thanks for watching everybody,
My name is Nicole Arbour. Hello!
If you like this video, give it a thumbs up.
Don't forget to like this page,
You're doing it now?
Oh, I felt it!
You can find the links to my other socials right there.
I have a feeling the comment section on this video's gonna be pretty funny.
Feel free to use it.
Thanks again for watching and until next time.
GoTeam.