0:00:00.396,0:00:03.654
What is love?

0:00:03.654,0:00:05.961
It's a hard term to define

0:00:05.961,0:00:09.850
in so far as it has a very wide application.

0:00:09.850,0:00:11.619
I can love jogging.

0:00:11.619,0:00:13.645
I can love a book, a movie.

0:00:13.645,0:00:16.516
I can love escalopes.

0:00:16.516,0:00:18.711
I can love my wife.

0:00:18.711,0:00:22.115
(Laughter)

0:00:23.776,0:00:26.810
But there's a great difference

0:00:26.810,0:00:31.901
between an escalope and my wife, for instance.

0:00:31.901,0:00:34.906
That is, if I value the escalope,

0:00:34.906,0:00:41.019
the escalope, on the other hand, [br]it doesn't value me back.

0:00:41.019,0:00:44.321
Whereas my wife, she calls me

0:00:44.321,0:00:46.122
the star of her life.

0:00:46.122,0:00:48.706
(Laughter)

0:00:48.706,0:00:50.662
Therefore, only another desiring conscience

0:00:50.662,0:00:53.894
can conceive me as a desirable being.

0:00:53.894,0:00:55.474
I know this, that's why

0:00:55.474,0:00:57.820
love can be defined in a more accurate way

0:00:57.820,0:01:02.130
as the desire of being desired.

0:01:02.130,0:01:04.925
Hence the eternal problem of love:

0:01:04.925,0:01:10.869
how to become and remain desirable?

0:01:10.869,0:01:14.489
The individual used to find

0:01:14.489,0:01:16.722
an answer to this problem

0:01:16.722,0:01:19.727
by submitting his life to community rules.

0:01:19.727,0:01:21.834
You had a specific part to play

0:01:21.834,0:01:24.049
according to your sex, your age,

0:01:24.049,0:01:25.925
your social status,

0:01:25.925,0:01:27.955
and you only had to play your part

0:01:27.955,0:01:32.032
to be valued and loved by the whole community.

0:01:32.032,0:01:35.789
Think about the young woman[br]who must remain chaste before marriage.

0:01:35.789,0:01:40.155
Think about the youngest son [br]who must obey the eldest son,

0:01:40.155,0:01:45.861
who in turn must obey the patriarch.

0:01:45.861,0:01:50.147
But a phenomenon

0:01:50.147,0:01:53.510
started in the 13th century,

0:01:53.510,0:01:57.512
mainly in the Renaissance, in the West,

0:01:57.512,0:02:00.891
that caused the biggest identity crisis

0:02:00.891,0:02:03.088
in the history of humankind.

0:02:03.088,0:02:05.358
This phenomenon is modernity.

0:02:05.358,0:02:08.306
We can basically summarize it[br]through a triple process.

0:02:08.306,0:02:14.029
First, a process of rationalization[br]of scientific research,

0:02:14.029,0:02:16.714
which has accelerated technical progress.

0:02:16.714,0:02:21.178
Next, a process of political democratization,

0:02:21.178,0:02:24.292
which has fostered individual rights.

0:02:24.292,0:02:28.850
And finally, a process of rationalization [br]of economic production

0:02:28.850,0:02:31.735
and of trade liberalization.

0:02:31.735,0:02:34.617
These three intertwined processes

0:02:34.617,0:02:37.026
have completely annihilated

0:02:37.026,0:02:41.332
all the traditional bearings of Western societies,

0:02:41.332,0:02:43.957
with radical consequences for the individual.

0:02:43.957,0:02:46.518
Now individuals are free

0:02:46.518,0:02:49.922
to value or disvalue

0:02:49.922,0:02:54.127
any attitude, any choice, any object.

0:02:54.127,0:03:00.344
But as a result, they are themselves confronted

0:03:00.344,0:03:02.409
with this same freedom that others have

0:03:02.409,0:03:06.861
to value or disvalue them.

0:03:06.861,0:03:12.201
In other words, my value was once ensured

0:03:12.201,0:03:16.114
by submitting myself [br]to the traditional authorities.

0:03:16.114,0:03:21.398
Now it is quoted in the stock exchange.

0:03:21.398,0:03:26.048
On the free market of individual desires,

0:03:26.048,0:03:30.033
I negotiate my value every day.

0:03:30.033,0:03:32.619
Hence the anxiety of contemporary man.

0:03:32.619,0:03:36.705
He is obsessed: "Am I desirable? How desirable?

0:03:36.705,0:03:39.803
How many people are going to love me?"

0:03:39.803,0:03:42.509
And how does he respond to this anxiety?

0:03:42.509,0:03:51.025
Well, by hysterically collecting[br]symbols of desirability.

0:03:52.493,0:03:55.460
(Laughter)

0:03:55.460,0:03:57.765
I call this act of collecting,

0:03:57.765,0:04:01.119
along with others, seduction capital.

0:04:01.119,0:04:03.162
Indeed, our consumer society

0:04:03.162,0:04:08.631
is largely based on seduction capital.

0:04:08.631,0:04:12.742
It is said about this consumption[br]that our age is materialistic.

0:04:12.742,0:04:16.690
But it's not true! We only accumulate objects

0:04:16.690,0:04:19.501
in order to communicate with other minds.

0:04:19.501,0:04:24.918
We do it to make them love us, to seduce them.

0:04:24.918,0:04:28.638
Nothing could be less materialistic, [br]or more sentimental,

0:04:28.638,0:04:32.863
than a teenager buying brand new jeans

0:04:32.863,0:04:35.355
and tearing them at the knees,

0:04:35.355,0:04:37.467
because he wants to please Jennifer.

0:04:37.467,0:04:39.917
(Laughter)

0:04:39.917,0:04:43.201
Consumerism is not materialism.

0:04:43.201,0:04:45.276
It is rather what is swallowed up

0:04:45.276,0:04:48.285
and sacrificed in the name of the god of love,

0:04:48.285,0:04:52.731
or rather in the name of seduction capital.

0:04:52.731,0:04:58.112
In light of this observation on contemporary love,

0:04:58.112,0:05:01.427
how can we think of love in the years to come?

0:05:01.427,0:05:03.711
We can envision two hypotheses:

0:05:03.711,0:05:06.447
The first one consists of betting

0:05:06.447,0:05:12.141
that this process of narcissistic [br]capitalization will intensify.

0:05:12.141,0:05:16.209
It is hard to say what shape [br]this intensification will take,

0:05:16.209,0:05:17.940
because it largely depends

0:05:17.940,0:05:20.708
on social and technical innovations,

0:05:20.708,0:05:25.755
which are by definition difficult to predict.

0:05:25.755,0:05:27.657
But we can, for instance,

0:05:27.657,0:05:31.381
imagine a dating website

0:05:31.381,0:05:35.513
which, a bit like those loyalty points programs,

0:05:35.513,0:05:38.705
uses seduction capital points

0:05:38.705,0:05:42.500
that vary according to my age, [br]my height/weight ratio,

0:05:42.500,0:05:45.023
my degree, my salary,

0:05:45.023,0:05:49.488
or the number of clicks on my profile.

0:05:49.488,0:05:53.374
We can also imagine

0:05:53.374,0:05:56.747
a chemical treatment for breakups

0:05:56.747,0:06:00.565
that weakens the feelings of attachment.

0:06:00.565,0:06:04.622
By the way, there's a program on MTV already

0:06:04.622,0:06:08.606
in which seduction teachers

0:06:08.606,0:06:12.524
treat heartache as a disease.

0:06:12.524,0:06:16.226
These teachers call themselves "pick-up artists."

0:06:16.226,0:06:19.470
"Artist" in French is easy, it means "artiste."

0:06:19.470,0:06:22.182
"Pick-up" is to pick someone up,

0:06:22.182,0:06:24.298
but not just any picking up -- it's picking up chicks.

0:06:24.298,0:06:28.767
So they are artists of picking up chicks.

0:06:28.767,0:06:30.224
(Laughter)

0:06:30.224,0:06:35.339
And they call heartache "one-itis."

0:06:35.339,0:06:38.889
In English, "itis" is a suffix that signifies infection.

0:06:38.889,0:06:43.353
One-itis can be translated as "an infection from one."

0:06:43.353,0:06:47.122
It's a bit disgusting. Indeed, for the pick-up artists,

0:06:47.122,0:06:50.571
falling in love with someone

0:06:50.571,0:06:52.403
is a waste of time,

0:06:52.403,0:06:54.310
it's squandering your seduction capital,

0:06:54.310,0:06:56.102
so it must be eliminated

0:06:56.102,0:06:59.831
like a disease, like an infection.

0:06:59.831,0:07:03.532
We can also envision

0:07:03.532,0:07:06.549
a romantic use of the genome.

0:07:06.549,0:07:10.199
Everyone would carry it around

0:07:10.199,0:07:13.399
and present it like a business card

0:07:13.399,0:07:18.393
to verify if seduction can progress to reproduction.

0:07:18.393,0:07:22.021
(Laughter)

0:07:22.021,0:07:27.184
Of course, this race for seduction,

0:07:27.184,0:07:29.287
like every fierce competition,

0:07:29.287,0:07:34.220
will create huge disparities [br]in narcissistic satisfaction,

0:07:34.220,0:07:38.270
and therefore a lot of loneliness and frustration too.

0:07:38.270,0:07:41.014
So we can expect that modernity itself,

0:07:41.014,0:07:45.550
which is the origin of seduction capital,[br]would be called into question.

0:07:45.550,0:07:48.181
I'm thinking particularly of the reaction

0:07:48.181,0:07:53.110
of neo-fascist or religious communes.

0:07:53.110,0:07:58.746
But such a future doesn't have to be.

0:07:58.746,0:08:04.168
Another path to thinking about love may be possible.

0:08:04.168,0:08:06.258
But how?

0:08:06.258,0:08:10.572
How to renounce the hysterical need to be valued?

0:08:10.572,0:08:14.780
Well, by becoming aware[br]of my uselessness.

0:08:14.780,0:08:16.879
(Laughter)

0:08:16.879,0:08:17.818
Yes,

0:08:17.818,0:08:20.109
I'm useless.

0:08:20.109,0:08:21.980
But rest assured:

0:08:21.980,0:08:23.442
so are you.

0:08:23.442,0:08:25.592
(Laughter)

0:08:25.592,0:08:29.629
(Applause)

0:08:29.629,0:08:33.999
We are all useless.

0:08:33.999,0:08:36.414
This uselessness is easily demonstrated,

0:08:36.414,0:08:40.015
because in order to be valued

0:08:40.015,0:08:43.026
I need another to desire me,

0:08:43.026,0:08:45.316
which shows that I do not have any value of my own.

0:08:45.316,0:08:48.400
I don't have any inherent value.

0:08:50.764,0:08:53.489
We all pretend to have an idol;

0:08:53.489,0:08:56.408
we all pretend to be an idol for[br]someone else, but actually

0:08:56.408,0:08:59.830
we are all impostors, a bit like a man on the street

0:08:59.830,0:09:02.689
who appears totally cool and indifferent,

0:09:02.689,0:09:05.838
while he has actually anticipated and calculated

0:09:05.838,0:09:09.443
so that all eyes are on him.

0:09:09.443,0:09:11.012
I think that becoming aware

0:09:11.012,0:09:13.219
of this general imposture

0:09:13.219,0:09:14.627
that concerns all of us

0:09:14.627,0:09:16.447
would ease our love relationships.

0:09:16.447,0:09:18.837
It is because I want to be loved

0:09:18.837,0:09:20.334
from head to toe,

0:09:20.334,0:09:22.309
justified in my every choice,

0:09:22.309,0:09:25.081
that the seduction hysteria exists.

0:09:25.081,0:09:27.374
And therefore I want to seem perfect

0:09:27.374,0:09:28.994
so that another can love me.

0:09:28.994,0:09:30.521
I want them to be perfect

0:09:30.521,0:09:32.678
so that I can be reassured of my value.

0:09:32.678,0:09:35.065
It leads to couples

0:09:35.065,0:09:37.357
obsessed with performance

0:09:37.357,0:09:39.513
who will break up, just like that,

0:09:39.513,0:09:42.067
at the slightest underachievement.

0:09:42.067,0:09:46.190
In contrast to this attitude,

0:09:46.190,0:09:48.928
I call upon tenderness -- love as tenderness.

0:09:48.928,0:09:50.296
What is tenderness?

0:09:50.296,0:09:54.169
To be tender is to accept [br]the loved one's weaknesses.

0:09:54.169,0:09:57.826
It's not about becoming a sad couple of orderlies.

0:09:57.826,0:09:59.021
(Laughter)

0:09:59.021,0:10:01.091
That's pretty bad.

0:10:01.091,0:10:02.423
On the contrary,

0:10:02.423,0:10:05.189
there's plenty of charm and happiness in tenderness.

0:10:05.189,0:10:09.238
I refer specifically to a kind of humor[br]that is unfortunately underused.

0:10:09.238,0:10:12.115
It is a sort of poetry of deliberate awkwardness.

0:10:12.115,0:10:14.896
I refer to self-mockery.

0:10:14.896,0:10:17.717
For a couple who is no longer sustained, supported

0:10:17.717,0:10:19.794
by the constraints of tradition,

0:10:19.794,0:10:21.342
I believe that self-mockery

0:10:21.342,0:10:25.695
is one of the best means for [br]the relationship to endure.