1
00:00:08,063 --> 00:00:10,247
Very good. Now the water signs?

2
00:00:10,584 --> 00:00:15,276
Pisces, Scorpio- Abby, look! Policemen!

3
00:00:15,889 --> 00:00:17,309
And what do we say to policeman?

4
00:00:17,856 --> 00:00:19,961
I have a Fourth Amendment right

5
00:00:19,991 --> 00:00:23,791
prohibiting you from conducting an unreasonable search.

6
00:00:23,832 --> 00:00:26,112
Yeah! Give me some skin.

7
00:00:28,365 --> 00:00:30,373
I cannot believe we are taking the train.

8
00:00:30,870 --> 00:00:33,225
Fine. We'll stand in the rain and watch cabs go by.

9
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:34,691
This is fun!

10
00:00:35,083 --> 00:00:37,488
No, it's not. It's public transportation.

11
00:00:37,728 --> 00:00:39,778
Don't touch anything, everything's dirty.

12
00:00:41,179 --> 00:00:43,629
Don't stare at strangers, they'll want money.

13
00:00:54,441 --> 00:00:56,177
What did your father just tell you?

14
00:00:56,429 --> 00:00:57,969
Don't, don't, don't...

15
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,147
Gregory, really!

16
00:01:59,574 --> 00:02:01,100
Schmuck.

17
00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:09,881
When are you gonna stop moping?

18
00:02:10,292 --> 00:02:12,958
I just can't stop thinking about that girl on the train.

19
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:13,626
I'm an idiot.

20
00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:15,658
I should have gone after her. I should have talked to her.

21
00:02:15,658 --> 00:02:17,535
No, no. You shouldn't have and I'll tell you why.

22
00:02:17,535 --> 00:02:20,305
You would have gone over and said something nice...

23
00:02:20,305 --> 00:02:22,897
like "You were looking at me. I know you want me"

24
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:24,667
Next thing you know, you are rolling around on the floor

25
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:26,077
with a face full of pepper spray.

26
00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:29,702
Good talking to you, Pete.

27
00:02:29,759 --> 00:02:31,229
Hey, anytime. I'm here for you, man.

28
00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:36,448
Well, hello. What took you so long?

29
00:02:57,146 --> 00:02:59,076
Wha... H....

30
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,761
Howww did I find you?

31
00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:05,495
Yeah.

32
00:03:07,084 --> 00:03:10,349
"Greg Montgomery, assistant U.S. attorney files mob indictment."

33
00:03:10,363 --> 00:03:12,673
See, that's you, right next to the guy with the coat over his head.

34
00:03:14,181 --> 00:03:15,831
This is amazing.

35
00:03:15,931 --> 00:03:20,041
I know. Is this a wild universe, or what?!!

36
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,941
Dharma. Dharma Finklestein.

37
00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:25,389
Dharma Finklestein?

38
00:03:25,474 --> 00:03:26,669
Yeah, I know.

39
00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:29,838
My dad was Jewish but he wished he was the Dali Lama.

40
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,593
Let's go!

41
00:03:32,277 --> 00:03:33,152
Where're we going?

42
00:03:33,304 --> 00:03:34,204
We have to get to know each other.

43
00:03:34,972 --> 00:03:37,202
I mean we obviously know each other on a spiritual level.

44
00:03:38,465 --> 00:03:40,115
Otherwise we wouldn't be here.

45
00:03:40,188 --> 00:03:43,728
But on a practical level, we have a lot of catching up to do.

46
00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:45,270
You lost me.

47
00:03:45,599 --> 00:03:49,018
I know. But that was another lifetime and I promise I won't let it happen again.

48
00:03:51,725 --> 00:03:53,125
Do you like organ music?

49
00:03:53,758 --> 00:03:54,676
Organ music?

50
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:02,447
I got to admit, he's pretty good.

51
00:04:02,594 --> 00:04:05,686
Yeah. Wait 'til he does the Mexican Hat Dance. He rocks!

52
00:04:06,936 --> 00:04:08,868
I wouldn't have pegged you for a baseball fan.

53
00:04:08,868 --> 00:04:12,317
No, I'm not. I just love to listen to organ music and scream.

54
00:04:12,317 --> 00:04:15,567
You know you can scream anything you want at a baseball game

55
00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:16,908
and it doesn't even have to make sense?!!

56
00:04:16,978 --> 00:04:17,637
Naw.

57
00:04:17,747 --> 00:04:18,620
Yep. Watch this...

58
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:23,886
Come on big guy, drive your coffee table to Idaho. Woooooo!

59
00:04:25,776 --> 00:04:26,878
Try it! It's fun!

60
00:04:26,878 --> 00:04:27,514
Naw. It's okay.

61
00:04:28,596 --> 00:04:33,372
Wooo! Nectarine time! Comb your frog!

62
00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:36,108
Hey, Gidget! Shut up!

63
00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:36,898
Excuse me?

64
00:04:37,016 --> 00:04:37,986
I'm not talking to you.

65
00:04:38,022 --> 00:04:38,760
Well you are now.

66
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,809
Oh yeah? Who the hell are you?

67
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,588
Greg Montgomery, Justice Department.

68
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,279
You have two options. Either you can apologize to the lady

69
00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,365
or we'll take a little ride over to Customs and have a chat

70
00:04:47,365 --> 00:04:48,991
about these Cuban cigars of yours.

71
00:04:53,775 --> 00:04:54,261
Sorry.

72
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,273
It's okay.

73
00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:01,432
God, that's so sweet!

74
00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:06,621
Nobody has ever intimidated someone for me before.

75
00:05:06,621 --> 00:05:08,498
Thank you.

76
00:05:08,498 --> 00:05:09,186
You're welcome.

77
00:05:09,858 --> 00:05:11,189
You deserve a reward.

78
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,167
What did you have in mind?

79
00:05:12,956 --> 00:05:14,498
Do you like blueberry pie?

80
00:05:14,799 --> 00:05:15,724
Sure.

81
00:05:16,028 --> 00:05:16,990
C'mon!

82
00:05:19,577 --> 00:05:20,331
Looks like the Giants are winning.

83
00:05:20,978 --> 00:05:21,609
Who?

84
00:05:28,148 --> 00:05:29,434
You know, they have pie in San Francisco.

85
00:05:29,819 --> 00:05:33,234
Mmmm. Not this pie.

86
00:05:37,935 --> 00:05:40,723
You're right. It's the best pie I have ever had in my life.

87
00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:42,138
How did you find this place?

88
00:05:42,138 --> 00:05:45,668
Well, my family lived in Reno for a few years 'til my dad fixed the van.

89
00:05:48,537 --> 00:05:49,307
Where was I?

90
00:05:49,671 --> 00:05:53,357
In a Navajo sweat lodge with a guy named Gunther.

91
00:05:53,357 --> 00:05:53,934
Oh right!

92
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:57,639
So this old medicine man walks up to us

93
00:05:57,682 --> 00:06:01,057
and says if you look into the eyes of your soulmate,

94
00:06:01,057 --> 00:06:04,298
you'll be able to see all the generations you'll create.

95
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,292
Isn't that wild?!!

96
00:06:06,636 --> 00:06:07,665
Yeah.

97
00:06:10,606 --> 00:06:14,957
So then I looked into Gunther's eyes, and I can't even see next Thursday!

98
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,318
Isn't that wild?

99
00:06:20,978 --> 00:06:21,585
Yeah.

100
00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:22,348
Yeah.

101
00:06:25,588 --> 00:06:27,058
So, what do we do now?

102
00:06:28,148 --> 00:06:29,537
I don't know. What do you usually do?

103
00:06:30,192 --> 00:06:33,613
Me? Well I definitely don't fly to Reno for pie.

104
00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:38,237
I mean, I would usually exchange phone numbers with you...

105
00:06:38,577 --> 00:06:41,242
we'd start dating. Things would go pretty well at first...

106
00:06:41,545 --> 00:06:43,125
until I started calling you too much

107
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:45,462
then you'd get annoyed and start screening your calls...

108
00:06:45,462 --> 00:06:47,228
so I'd call you really late because I know you'll be home...

109
00:06:47,228 --> 00:06:48,857
you'd pick up... I'd panic... hang up...

110
00:06:48,857 --> 00:06:51,102
you'd *69 me... I'm too embarrassed to ever talk to you again...

111
00:06:51,102 --> 00:06:52,592
so we would break up.

112
00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:58,561
Ahhhh! Let's not do that!

113
00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:04,311
Believe me, I do not want to do that. Especially with you.

114
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:09,380
God! I wish there was some way we could just skip the dating part.

115
00:07:10,589 --> 00:07:11,746
Why can't we?

116
00:07:24,094 --> 00:07:25,828
Honey, it's our song!

117
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,780
That was incredible!

118
00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:40,804
I know. I'm glad we waited 'til after we were married.

119
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:45,796
We're married! I can't believe it.

120
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:49,143
Are we nuts?

121
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:50,961
Yeah.

122
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:53,019
Think of the great story we'll be able to tell our children.

123
00:07:54,185 --> 00:07:55,687
Oh good! You want to have children.

124
00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:58,390
Yeah, unless you want to have 'em

125
00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,733
We should probably get some sleep.

126
00:08:08,264 --> 00:08:09,323
Yeah.

127
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,735
What time is it?

128
00:08:16,398 --> 00:08:17,478
8:00 am.

129
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,590
Oh the pie shop just opened!

130
00:08:21,365 --> 00:08:23,679
I'll jump in the shower. Want to join me?

131
00:08:24,265 --> 00:08:26,859
Honey, I've been joining you for the last eight hours.

132
00:08:32,619 --> 00:08:33,391
Hello?

133
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,269
Greg's pants.

134
00:08:52,193 --> 00:08:53,844
He's not in them right now.

135
00:08:58,903 --> 00:09:01,143
This is, this is Dharma. Who's this?

136
00:09:02,551 --> 00:09:04,291
Oh hello, Gregory's mother.

137
00:09:05,765 --> 00:09:07,921
No, he's in the shower right now. May I take a message?

138
00:09:09,936 --> 00:09:11,398
Lunch at your place?

139
00:09:11,915 --> 00:09:13,438
1:00. We'll be there.

140
00:09:15,077 --> 00:09:16,167
Me and Greg!

141
00:09:17,753 --> 00:09:20,348
Oh! Actually, can we make it 2:00, because we're in Nevada.

142
00:09:24,107 --> 00:09:25,894
Okay, good. Goodbye, Gregory's mother.

143
00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:29,368
Honey, what's taking you so long?

144
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:30,496
I was talking to your mother.

145
00:09:31,689 --> 00:09:32,439
What?

146
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:37,050
Hurry up! We have to be at your parents' house by two.

147
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:38,911
What?

148
00:09:46,656 --> 00:09:49,411
Alright. I just gotta change my clothes and we're outta here.

149
00:09:50,042 --> 00:09:51,181
Jane?

150
00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:52,172
Hey, Dharma.

151
00:09:53,156 --> 00:09:54,148
What's going on?

152
00:09:55,268 --> 00:09:56,244
I'm breaking up with Ivan.

153
00:09:58,492 --> 00:10:00,123
Is that his motorcycle?

154
00:10:00,795 --> 00:10:02,804
Used to be. Now it's garbage.

155
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,318
Well, I got some news too.

156
00:10:07,766 --> 00:10:08,865
Yeah? What?

157
00:10:08,865 --> 00:10:09,919
I got married.

158
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:11,435
Shut up!

159
00:10:11,435 --> 00:10:12,843
No you shut up!

160
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:15,111
Shut up!

161
00:10:15,111 --> 00:10:16,022
No, you shut up!

162
00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:19,555
This is my husband, Greg.

163
00:10:20,156 --> 00:10:21,217
Incredible!

164
00:10:21,674 --> 00:10:23,085
Congratulations!

165
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:23,604
Thanks!

166
00:10:24,394 --> 00:10:26,422
If you cause my friend any emotional pain whatsoever...

167
00:10:26,422 --> 00:10:28,367
I'll punish you in ways you can't even imagine.

168
00:10:31,775 --> 00:10:35,043
Okay, I've got to finish this before Ivan wakes up.

169
00:10:36,299 --> 00:10:37,463
Nice meeting you, Greg.

170
00:10:37,463 --> 00:10:38,132
Pleasure.

171
00:10:42,564 --> 00:10:45,885
Oh it's the boys! Hello, boys!

172
00:10:46,483 --> 00:10:48,929
Greg, I want you to meet my dog Stinky...

173
00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:53,037
and this is Stinky's dog Nunzio.

174
00:10:56,772 --> 00:10:59,183
Stinky has his own dog?

175
00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:01,612
Yes, it was his Bar Mitzvah present.

176
00:11:05,085 --> 00:11:06,552
Well, what do you think?

177
00:11:07,205 --> 00:11:09,157
I've never seen anything like it.

178
00:11:09,525 --> 00:11:10,977
Good! That's what I was going for!

179
00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:14,893
Uh, Dharma, there's a naked woman in your apartment.

180
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,072
Abby, I have someone I want you to meet.

181
00:11:18,918 --> 00:11:20,801
What? Oh! I'm sorry.

182
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:22,624
She always takes her clothes off when she paints.

183
00:11:23,697 --> 00:11:24,884
Is she your roommate?

184
00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:26,058
No, it's my mother.

185
00:11:27,568 --> 00:11:29,054
The naked woman is your mother.

186
00:11:30,049 --> 00:11:31,130
Do you have any tums?

187
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:33,955
Hi honey.

188
00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,900
Hey. How's the mural coming?

189
00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:39,448
Oh boy, well I had a lot of trouble with the face of God...

190
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:42,665
so on your wall, Adam and Eve are created by Janis Joplin.

191
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,495
Cool! Guess what?!!

192
00:11:46,868 --> 00:11:47,429
What?

193
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:48,430
I got married.

194
00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:49,461
Shut up!

195
00:11:49,486 --> 00:11:50,448
No you shut up!

196
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:54,588
Wow! Dharma, sweetie!

197
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:57,920
Abby, I want you to meet my husband, Greg.

198
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,096
God, I love saying that!

199
00:12:00,751 --> 00:12:04,604
Greg! Oh wow! Congratulations!

200
00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:07,320
Thank you. I'm going to take very good care of your daughter.

201
00:12:09,017 --> 00:12:10,181
Give me your hand.

202
00:12:10,181 --> 00:12:11,178
Oh I love this part!

203
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:12,767
Give me your hand.

204
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,909
Okay. Long lifeline. That's good.

205
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:19,793
What am I doing? You two probably want to have sex.

206
00:12:22,173 --> 00:12:24,625
Oh actually we were just on our way to Greg's parents'.

207
00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:26,738
I don't know, honey, do we have time?

208
00:12:27,238 --> 00:12:28,118
Uh...

209
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,415
Hey, Abby, if you're not coming back, I'm gonna eat the apple. Hello!

210
00:12:37,134 --> 00:12:38,754
Let me guess, that's your father.

211
00:12:38,847 --> 00:12:41,163
Yeah. He's posing for Adam.

212
00:12:42,449 --> 00:12:44,932
Listen, Dharma, when Larry comes back out...

213
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:47,338
let's say the two of you are living together, okay?

214
00:12:47,338 --> 00:12:50,693
It's not you, Greg. It's Larry. He's opposed to marriage.

215
00:12:50,693 --> 00:12:54,499
He hates that natural love has been co-opted by the "Fascist State."

216
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:57,980
Hey, pumpkin!

217
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:58,711
Hi Larry.

218
00:12:58,711 --> 00:12:59,629
I'm doing Adam.

219
00:12:59,629 --> 00:13:00,303
I heard.

220
00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:04,425
Larry, this is Greg.

221
00:13:04,425 --> 00:13:08,065
Yeah, and they are about to have sex so we should probably leave.

222
00:13:08,065 --> 00:13:09,596
Dig it.

223
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,761
He's cute, don't you think?

224
00:13:14,839 --> 00:13:15,736
I smell a lawyer.

225
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:18,965
My parents.

226
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:19,498
Oh, I'll change.

227
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,114
Don't think you can change that much.

228
00:13:27,982 --> 00:13:28,829
Finklestein?

229
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:29,569
Mmm hmm.

230
00:13:29,627 --> 00:13:32,599
Edward, what's the name of our Jewish friends?

231
00:13:34,318 --> 00:13:35,148
The Gotliebs, dear.

232
00:13:35,308 --> 00:13:38,177
Right. The Gotliebs. Do you know them?

233
00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:43,100
Uh no. Actually I wasn't raised Jewish.

234
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,917
My dad started his own church, though. But no one really came.

235
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:47,570
Well, except the IRS.

236
00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:52,067
So, how long have you two been dating?

237
00:13:52,274 --> 00:13:53,717
Actually we're not dating.

238
00:13:53,717 --> 00:13:54,277
Oh.

239
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:55,010
We're married.

240
00:13:57,085 --> 00:13:57,885
Pardon?

241
00:13:58,163 --> 00:13:59,043
He said they're...

242
00:13:59,052 --> 00:13:59,852
I heard him.

243
00:14:02,398 --> 00:14:05,159
I know it's a big surprise, but I need you to trust me on this.

244
00:14:05,159 --> 00:14:09,757
I love this woman and I've never been happier in my life.

245
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:15,316
So do you guys just hate me?

246
00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:20,019
Dharma, please, let me handle this.

247
00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:23,585
Mom, dad, you gotta believe me. I did the right thing here.

248
00:14:23,615 --> 00:14:25,167
Oh my God, she's pregnant.

249
00:14:26,047 --> 00:14:28,429
She's not pregnant. I just met her yesterday.

250
00:14:29,606 --> 00:14:32,139
Consuela, bourbon grande por favor.

251
00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:36,082
Greg, can I see you in the study for a moment?

252
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:39,438
No. Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of Dharma.

253
00:14:39,873 --> 00:14:44,002
Alright. Quite frankly, your mother and I would be lying if we didn't say

254
00:14:44,003 --> 00:14:45,973
we are very concerned about this.

255
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,575
I don't mean to offend you, Karma...

256
00:14:48,575 --> 00:14:49,408
Dharma.

257
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,402
Whatever.

258
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:57,760
Dharma, you are not exactly the type of girl we imagined our son settling down with.

259
00:14:57,787 --> 00:14:59,855
How can you say that? You don't know anything about her.

260
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,545
Fair enough.

261
00:15:02,066 --> 00:15:06,126
Dharma, tell us about yourself.

262
00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:13,569
Well, I train dogs during the day and then I teach yoga at night.

263
00:15:13,569 --> 00:15:14,259
That's enough.

264
00:15:17,658 --> 00:15:20,693
Forget about what you imagined, what about me being in love?

265
00:15:20,693 --> 00:15:22,237
Gregory, this is not about love.

266
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:24,309
How can marriage not be about love?

267
00:15:24,331 --> 00:15:26,103
I don't know, ask your father.

268
00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:30,741
Wow. You guys aren't in love?

269
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,957
This is not about our marriage.

270
00:15:33,409 --> 00:15:34,447
Well, it should be.

271
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:37,328
I mean, I don't don't know you two very well either

272
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:40,479
but um, when's the last time you two had sex?

273
00:15:40,479 --> 00:15:41,127
Okay.

274
00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:43,422
That's enough.

275
00:15:43,422 --> 00:15:44,222
Just trying to help.

276
00:15:44,262 --> 00:15:48,822
Honey, I know, it's just that for now, why don't we have our lunch

277
00:15:49,301 --> 00:15:51,396
and talk about this another time?

278
00:15:51,396 --> 00:15:52,546
Excellent suggestion.

279
00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,353
Splendid.

280
00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:56,015
The salmon's delicious.

281
00:15:56,049 --> 00:15:58,549
Yes it is. Is this the same sauce she usually makes?

282
00:15:58,560 --> 00:15:59,790
I believe it is, yes.

283
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,646
Oh, Bunny got her own golf cart.

284
00:16:07,646 --> 00:16:08,783
Oh, gas or electric?

285
00:16:09,447 --> 00:16:11,437
You know, you guys should try doing it outside.

286
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:11,987
Dharma.

287
00:16:12,823 --> 00:16:15,599
No, I'm serious. In a big field where you could get caught.

288
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,265
Well that didn't go very well, did it.

289
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:25,189
No, it was great.

290
00:16:25,937 --> 00:16:28,166
Especially when you suggested my mother buy a shower massage

291
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:29,514
and learn to "fly solo."

292
00:16:32,143 --> 00:16:34,858
Come on, Greg! They're in separate bedrooms.

293
00:16:35,291 --> 00:16:36,538
Dharma, be reasonable.

294
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,654
You can't just say whatever you think whenever you want.

295
00:16:38,654 --> 00:16:39,622
Why not?

296
00:16:39,622 --> 00:16:42,089
Why not? Because what happens when we're out to dinner with, I don't know...

297
00:16:42,089 --> 00:16:45,167
the Attorney General? Are you going to sit there and rave about high colonics?

298
00:16:45,186 --> 00:16:48,876
I'm telling you, Greg, it would change your father's life.

299
00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:52,371
Damn it, Dharma, if you're not willing to play the game even a little,

300
00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:53,642
we've got a major problem.

301
00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:54,762
Don't yell at me.

302
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,642
I'm not yelling, I'm just trying to make you understand.

303
00:16:56,642 --> 00:16:57,799
Understand what?

304
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:01,913
That you married me because of who I am and now you want me to change

305
00:17:01,913 --> 00:17:03,319
into a totally different person.

306
00:17:03,319 --> 00:17:03,941
Yes.

307
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:04,542
Yes?

308
00:17:04,542 --> 00:17:06,973
I mean no, only part of the time.

309
00:17:08,089 --> 00:17:11,664
Well, I can't do that because that is totally dishonest.

310
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,473
Now come on, you can't go around being honest all the time.

311
00:17:13,473 --> 00:17:14,135
Yeah you can.

312
00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:14,778
Oh really?

313
00:17:14,778 --> 00:17:16,682
Yeah, maybe you should try it sometime.

314
00:17:16,682 --> 00:17:19,145
Fine. You want honesty? I think you are being a child.

315
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:23,565
A child?

316
00:17:23,621 --> 00:17:26,741
Yes, you're completely unwilling to compromise. You're like a 3 year old.

317
00:17:29,921 --> 00:17:30,990
Let me out.

318
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:31,860
I'm not letting you out.

319
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:32,904
I said let me out.

320
00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:34,143
Fine. Get out.

321
00:17:35,149 --> 00:17:36,335
You're really kicking me out?

322
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:38,015
We're here.

323
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:41,831
Oh. You're sleeping on the couch tonight, buddy.

324
00:17:41,845 --> 00:17:43,782
I got news for you. I'm sleeping at my place.

325
00:17:43,782 --> 00:17:44,903
Good.

326
00:17:44,903 --> 00:17:45,507
Fine.

327
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:49,656
Don't call me.

328
00:17:49,698 --> 00:17:50,652
You don't have a phone!

329
00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:01,269
I was so sure she was the one.

330
00:18:01,269 --> 00:18:06,580
Of course you were, dear. I know this is difficult for you...

331
00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:09,887
Did she sign a prenuptial agreement?

332
00:18:11,335 --> 00:18:12,429
Thanks for your support.

333
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:13,656
Sorry, sorry.

334
00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:16,208
Do you think she'd sign one now?

335
00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:18,301
Mother!

336
00:18:19,026 --> 00:18:19,632
Edward.

337
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:20,645
I'll call Gotlieb.

338
00:18:23,159 --> 00:18:25,443
Mother, you don't understand. I love her.

339
00:18:25,808 --> 00:18:29,914
Gregory, if you care about this girl, you will end this marriage now.

340
00:18:29,914 --> 00:18:30,414
How can you say that?

341
00:18:30,414 --> 00:18:34,664
Darling! I know free spirits like her. I went to Vassar.

342
00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:39,956
And believe me, after a few years of hanging on your arm at political dinners

343
00:18:39,956 --> 00:18:44,329
with this fake smile plastered on her face, all she will be good for is...

344
00:18:44,329 --> 00:18:48,945
crawling into a bottle of Chardonnay with a Neeman Marcus catalogue and a bottle

345
00:18:48,945 --> 00:18:53,582
of Valium the size of your head. Or so one imagines.

346
00:19:04,149 --> 00:19:06,059
I was just so sure he was the one.

347
00:19:06,059 --> 00:19:11,602
I know, darling. Maybe someday he will be. That's what reincarnation is for.

348
00:19:13,374 --> 00:19:18,203
I can't believe my daughter got married, and to a Fed!

349
00:19:19,678 --> 00:19:21,578
Calm down, Larry.

350
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:26,605
This is your fault, Abby. Let her get an EasyBake Oven, what harm will it do?

351
00:19:28,765 --> 00:19:32,878
I'm the one who made the decision, Larry. I'm an adult now.

352
00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:34,772
I know, baby.

353
00:19:36,497 --> 00:19:39,160
But I don't want to see you living in a house with a fence

354
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,680
and a car that you drive kids to soccer practice in. C'mon.

355
00:19:42,646 --> 00:19:44,553
We raised you better than that.

356
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,009
Where are you going?

357
00:19:49,009 --> 00:19:50,030
I'm going out for ice cream.

358
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:52,251
You just had a whole bag of pretzels.

359
00:19:52,251 --> 00:19:54,051
That was salty. I need sweet.

360
00:19:58,214 --> 00:20:00,520
Maybe I should compromise more.

361
00:20:01,564 --> 00:20:03,978
You must have had to compromise a lot for Larry.

362
00:20:04,616 --> 00:20:09,517
Well not really. Not anything I had to stick with.

363
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:13,176
Your father blew out his short-term memory back in 1972.

364
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,150
I just wish I knew what to do.

365
00:20:22,236 --> 00:20:29,464
Ah, sweetie. Dharma, you know what? It's your life, darlin' and I can't tell you how to live it.

366
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:34,323
But I do know one thing. It's really important to be with somebody who

367
00:20:34,336 --> 00:20:36,380
accepts you the way you are.

368
00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:37,269
Yeah.

369
00:20:39,252 --> 00:20:40,142
Ice cream.

370
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:40,742
Right.

371
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:45,968
I'm better off, right?

372
00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:49,259
Oh absolutely. I mean if you are going to be putting up with that kind of craziness

373
00:20:49,259 --> 00:20:50,610
you better be damn sure she's the one.

374
00:20:51,261 --> 00:20:54,817
Yeah. You're right. But how do you know when it's the one?

375
00:20:56,017 --> 00:20:59,947
You got me. I met this girl once. Same thing.

376
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:01,630
Love at first sight. Head over heels.

377
00:21:01,647 --> 00:21:04,083
I'm thinking I'm spending the rest of my life with this babe, right?

378
00:21:04,083 --> 00:21:07,773
24 hours later I'm in Sacramento chained to a radiator

379
00:21:07,773 --> 00:21:09,267
and she's trying to cut out my kidney.

380
00:21:13,677 --> 00:21:15,168
Good talking to you, Pete.

381
00:21:15,168 --> 00:21:17,461
Anytime. I'm here for you, man.

382
00:21:19,188 --> 00:21:20,559
Wanna trash his car?

383
00:21:20,559 --> 00:21:21,216
No.

384
00:21:21,216 --> 00:21:22,455
Push him off a cliff?

385
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:23,173
Jane!

386
00:21:23,173 --> 00:21:24,739
C'mon! What do you want to do?

387
00:21:24,739 --> 00:21:28,568
I don't know. I really don't know.

388
00:21:29,106 --> 00:21:31,246
I guess you'll have to do it your way. Just be patient

389
00:21:31,292 --> 00:21:33,432
and let the universe tell you what to do.

390
00:21:38,142 --> 00:21:40,224
Oh my God. I think it just did.

391
00:21:40,239 --> 00:21:44,670
Greg, Greg, Greg!

392
00:21:44,696 --> 00:21:49,405
I can be Greg. Or Paul. Bill.

393
00:22:12,078 --> 00:22:13,438
What took you so long?

394
00:22:15,378 --> 00:22:16,486
Shut up!

395
00:22:16,517 --> 00:22:17,937
No, you shut up!