0:00:02.027,0:00:05.053
Okay, everyone,[br]so Happy New Year, first of all.

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I forgot to say that before, [br]so I need to do it now.

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So very wonderful to see you all here.[br]And today I am going to talk

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about one of the perennial[br]themes of Buddhism, I think it is,

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which is about 'going against the stream'.

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Have you heard about the idea of [br]going against the stream?

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It is a thing that you find in a number[br]of places in the suttas, this idea,

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and I just want to talk a little bit [br]about what it actually means,

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various angles on this idea, [br]and also how we can use this idea

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to actually enhance our [br]spiritual practice.

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So the idea on the Buddhist[br]teachings about stream,

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stream is like a metaphor,

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it's like something which points [br]to something else,

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and the metaphor, the thing it points to, [br]one of the most important things

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is all the habits of our mind.

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The habits of a mind is like a stream, [br]something that flows on,

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it's like self perpetuating,

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that's the nature of a habit, just kind of[br]goes on whether you want to or not.

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And you discover that in[br]meditation practice, right,

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you close your eyes, and you see[br]these blooming habits following you along.

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And you think about all kinds of things [br]whether you want to or not,

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actually you want to of course deep down,[br]but whether you want to or not,

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it seems like these habits[br]just take over the mind.

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And this is a very important part of this[br]idea of the stream,

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the habits of the mind that drive you on.

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And you can feel this in your [br]meditation practice,

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the stream of the mind, this forced [br]inside of you that drives on by itself.

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This is one of the ideas of "stream"[br]in the suttas,

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these kinds of innate habits that we have,

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not really innate, because they can be [br]stopped,

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but very fundamental habits of the mind.

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Another interesting idea of the 'stream'[br]in the suttas

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is the thing called 'viññāṇa sota',

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it's a Pali word, I like to use some [br]fancy terminology always.

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So viññāṇa sota means..[br]the stream of consciousness,

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according to the suttas, this idea [br]that the stream of consciousness

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is the mind basically which goes on from [br]one life to another one,

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carries on into the future,[br]established in this life,

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then gets established in the[br]future existence.

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That's another stream, which is [br]problematic, right,

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the stream of habits is problematic,[br]you want to go against that.

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The stream of consciousness is going on[br]from life to life,

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that's another really problematic one.

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So all of these things are things that we [br]try to, kind of, slow down to begin with,

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and eventually hopefully, [br]cut those streams entirely.

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But of all these things,

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the most important kind of stream [br]is a stream of craving.

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Craving is actually part of the [br]mental habits that we have,

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the first thing I mentioned,

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mental habits are much more [br]than craving,

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but craving is a very important [br]part of it.

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It’s this desire that always kind of [br]goes on and on and on,

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the stream of desire, the mind kind of [br]moving on to something else, continuously,

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all the time, never really stopping,

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never really standing still, [br]even in your meditation

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it's very rare that the mind becomes [br]completely still,

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it's actually very difficult to do.

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There's always a little bit of [br]movement there,

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going somewhere, looking for [br]something deeper,

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once you finally get really happy in your[br]meditation, you think, 'What's next?'

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That's the stream of craving in action [br]right there.

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So this craving, this desire to find [br]something more,

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something additional in this world[br]is really, really problematic.

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Now there is a few suttas, [br]a few discourses of the Buddha

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that I thought I would bring up,

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I always bring up some suttas, that's [br]kind of what I've become famous,

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not famous for, [br]I wouldn't call myself famous,

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but that's kind of what I am known for [br]among some people here anyway.

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And this sutta is from one of the[br]very nice collections in the Pali Suttas,

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called the Itivuttaka, have you[br]heard about the Itivuttaka?

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I know some of you have, some of you[br]maybe not.

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Itivuttaka literally means [br]'thus-saidness' or something like that,

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Iti-vuttaka; vuttaka - saidness,[br]thus-saidness,

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and this collection of suttas is part [br]of the Khuddakanikāya,

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the shorter collection, which actually [br]is the longest collection.

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It is called the shorter[br]just to confuse you.

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So, but in this collection is the[br]Itivuttaka,

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and the very interesting thing about [br]the Itivuttaka,

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that it was a collection of discourses [br]that was transmitted by a lay woman,

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which is kind of fascinating,

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because sometimes we think about [br]Buddhism as very kind of hierarchical

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with the monks and the nuns and [br]then laymen, laywomen,

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but actually sometimes you find that it [br]doesn't matter so much in Buddhism

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who you are, what matters is the qualities[br]of your mind, the qualities of your heart,

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and if you have good teachings[br]that people should remember,

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that we should keep for posterity,

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then you are worthwhile listening to, [br]we should listen to you,

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what have you got to say? [br]Did you hear the teachings of Buddha?

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lease come, we want to hear [br]those teachings.

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And this is exactly what happened [br]with this Itivuttaka,

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it was taught or transmitted by this [br]laywoman,

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and then it was somehow given [br]to the monks,

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and the monks will then carry on the [br]chanting, maybe the nuns as well,

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I'm not sure,

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carry on the chanting of these suttas.

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So this is very fascinating.

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Sometimes we have a slightly [br]one-sided idea of Buddhism,

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I think sometimes it[br]is more inclusive than we think it is.

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Anyway, so one of the suttas, I think[br]it is the109 of this collection,

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according to this sutta, it starts off [br]with the Buddha saying,

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suppose there was a person who was [br]going down a stream that seemed

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pleasant and delightful.

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A person going down a stream [br]maybe sitting on a raft or something;

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I don't know what they're doing.

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Kind of Robinson cruiser of India [br]on this river.

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So very happy, the stream is pleasant,[br]the water is the right temperature,

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the wind is just right,

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maybe there is some food on this raft, [br]I don't know what, but very pleasant,

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the river, going downstream.

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And this is kind of exactly what [br]our lives are like.

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As you carry on in this stream of [br]craving in your life,

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it seems pleasant, right?

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We think of it as pleasant.

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We think of the things in our life,

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our relationships, [br]the things that we own,

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the pleasures that we kind of enjoy [br]in our daily basis.

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They seem great. [br]They seem marvelous, right?

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They seem wonderful.[br]What is there to fear?

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There's nothing to fear, right?

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We're on this beautiful raft [br]going down the stream,

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we have no idea where it's going,

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but it's a good river,[br]it must be going into a good place.

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This is how our minds work.

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If you think about how your mind works,

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when you talk about the craving [br]and going on the stream of craving,

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it always looks good in the future, right?

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When you think about where you're heading,

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it never looks bad, because if it[br]were looking bad, you wouldn't go there.

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It always looks good.

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This is kind of the interesting thing [br]about the idea of craving.

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When you follow that arrow of craving,

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the direction of craving, the result [br]always seems positive.

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It always looks like you're going [br]to a good place.

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This kind of relationship, that's the[br]right person for me,

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that's going to be a really good one.

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And you stop at the point [br]where the relationship starts,

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you don't go beyond that,

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you forget to ask "and then what?"

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The "and then what?", [br]that's the interesting one, right?

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That's one of my favorite teachings [br]from Ajahn Brahm.

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I remember that when I first came[br]to Bodhinyana Monastery,

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and he taught[br]the "and then what" teaching.

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I think we should write a sub commentary[br]on the "and then what" teaching,

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because I don't think it was [br]ever written,

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the Buddha never mentioned that.[br]Maybe he did actually,

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but maybe not precisely in those terms.

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I think he did. Yeah,

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because this is exactly the point of[br]some of the similes of the Buddha,

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is like this "and then what" idea.

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So this is a problem in our life,

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it looks like we're heading towards [br]a positive goal.

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When we crave, we look to the future,[br]where this is all going,

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it looks beautiful,[br]it looks delightful,

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but we're not seeing things clearly.

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We are on this river,

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we don't really know whether the river [br]turns right or left,

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what's going to be around the corner,[br]we have no idea, but it looks good,

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so we hold on to it. And then as we[br]are going down this river,

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there is a man who looks on [br]and sees what is going on.

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So who is this man, do you think,[br]in the suttas?

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Okay, I'm going to tell you... [br]you don't have to answer.

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The man is the Buddha.

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The Buddha looks on, because [br]the Buddha sees what is going on.

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The Buddha is looking on at humanity,[br]and he is seeing all of us

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on this river of craving, [br]going full speed ahead with desires,

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with all of these kinds of things,[br]blind, like moles,

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no idea where this tunnel[br]is gonna go underground.

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And we just carry on, digging that[br]tunnel, carrying on in the stream,

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and no idea what's happening.

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The Buddha says, actually, [br]where are you going?

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He says, if you carry on in this stream,

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you're going to this pool, [br]there's a pool down there,

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and in that pool, what do you find?

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Whirlpools, waves, saltwater crocodiles, [br]not freshwater, saltwater crocodiles.

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The salties is not the freshies[br]because the salties are the scary ones.

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And then monsters. [br]Monsters are kind of the fourth one.

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I'm not sure whether it's the monsters [br]or the sharks or something like that.

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I am Australian now, so I have to know [br]the difference between

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the salties and the freshies.

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And the fellow who did this translation, [br]he's an Australian monk, Ajahn Sujato.

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So, he did this and he knew the [br]difference between

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saltwater and freshwater crocodiles, [br]he deliberately put saltwater crocodiles,

0:10:04.496,0:10:06.760
so we knew this was really dangerous,

0:10:06.760,0:10:11.893
not some kind of small, minor, cute [br]crocodile like the freshwater crocodiles.

0:10:11.893,0:10:13.826
So that's what he sees.

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If he carries-on, that's where [br]he's gonna go.

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And of course, if you meet up with a [br]saltwater crocodile,

0:10:19.646,0:10:22.131
and it's lunchtime for that [br]saltwater crocodile;

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that's it, you're finished.

0:10:24.676,0:10:27.230
And so this is kind of fascinating, right?

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You're on this beautiful trip, [br]going down this stream,

0:10:29.995,0:10:31.764
everything seems so beautiful,

0:10:31.764,0:10:35.627
and there's all these saltwater crocodiles[br]waiting for you around the corner.

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What happens if you know that there are [br]saltwater crocodiles around the corner?

0:10:39.629,0:10:41.694
You get pretty scared, right?

0:10:41.694,0:10:44.894
These are very scary beasts, [br]these saltwater crocodiles,

0:10:44.894,0:10:49.259
they are really scary, and so [br]you become very worried about this.

0:10:49.259,0:10:52.844
And of course what happens [br]once you get worried

0:10:52.844,0:10:56.045
is that you start paddling for life [br]with your hands and feet

0:10:56.045,0:10:57.808
to go against the stream.

0:10:57.808,0:11:00.860
Hopefully the current isn't so strong,[br]hopefully it's quite weak,

0:11:00.860,0:11:04.859
so you can paddle faster than the stream [br]will take you down

0:11:04.859,0:11:07.646
to the saltwater crocodiles.

0:11:07.646,0:11:08.864
So this is the idea;

0:11:08.864,0:11:11.094
once you understand the [br]danger of craving,

0:11:11.094,0:11:13.919
why is craving so dangerous?

0:11:13.919,0:11:18.666
Let's just stay with that just for a [br]couple of moments before I carry on..

0:11:18.666,0:11:21.301
What is it about craving that is [br]so dangerous?

0:11:21.301,0:11:24.493
What is it about this sweet thing that we [br]have in our life

0:11:24.493,0:11:28.163
that seems to give us so much happiness;[br]how can that be dangerous?

0:11:28.163,0:11:33.244
And the first reason of course is that [br]craving makes us attached,

0:11:33.244,0:11:35.565
it makes us hold onto things [br]in the world.

0:11:35.565,0:11:38.210
And the moment you hold on to [br]things in the world,

0:11:38.210,0:11:42.463
you're asking for suffering.[br]You're saying, please, may I suffer!

0:11:42.463,0:11:44.844
You may not actually be saying that,

0:11:44.844,0:11:47.525
but you should be saying that,[br]that's what I'm saying.

0:11:47.525,0:11:49.451
Because the moment you hold onto things,

0:11:49.451,0:11:51.801
you know that those things [br]are impermanent,

0:11:51.801,0:11:54.032
you know that they are unreliable,

0:11:54.032,0:11:56.082
you know you can't hold on to them.

0:11:56.082,0:11:59.494
So if you grasp things that are [br]inherently ungraspable,

0:11:59.494,0:12:00.494
you have a problem.

0:12:00.494,0:12:02.815
And that problem is called suffering.

0:12:02.815,0:12:06.579
This is a small one, this doesn't really [br]sound like saltwater crocodiles,

0:12:06.579,0:12:09.549
maybe whirlpool, may be a wave [br]but not really a salty,

0:12:09.549,0:12:11.949
salties are too, kind of, scary for that.

0:12:11.949,0:12:15.666
But it's worse than that, right?

0:12:15.666,0:12:21.263
And what is worse is that in our pursuit [br]of all the sensual pleasures in the world,

0:12:21.263,0:12:24.094
we tend to do stupid things.

0:12:24.094,0:12:27.915
If you look at your life when you have [br]done something unwholesome,

0:12:27.915,0:12:30.928
if I look at my life when I have done [br]something unwholesome,

0:12:30.928,0:12:34.247
very often it was in connection with [br]some kind of sensual pleasures

0:12:34.247,0:12:36.751
that didn't go my way or [br]something like that,

0:12:36.751,0:12:38.799
and you start doing things, [br]saying things,

0:12:38.799,0:12:42.260
acting in ways that are terrible,[br]certainly thinking in bad ways.

0:12:42.260,0:12:46.999
So this is the part of the problem, is [br]that external world of the five senses,

0:12:46.999,0:12:52.162
this craving that we are pursuing[br]is inherently connected to violence

0:12:52.162,0:12:56.080
and to all of these problems that we [br]call immorality;

0:12:56.080,0:13:00.198
violence, conflict, and all of these [br]kinds of things in the world.

0:13:00.198,0:13:04.347
Because we share that [br]whole external world with other people.

0:13:04.347,0:13:06.168
Because we share with others,

0:13:06.168,0:13:08.781
it's inherently going to be a [br]conflicting world,

0:13:08.781,0:13:10.745
that world of the five senses.

0:13:10.745,0:13:16.230
And because it is inherently involved with[br]conflict, it is really problematic.

0:13:16.230,0:13:21.247
I think this was one of those really [br]interesting insights I had in my practice

0:13:21.247,0:13:25.368
when I saw that. I thought ‘wow, this is [br]what the sensory realm really is like.

0:13:25.368,0:13:27.195
It is a realm of conflict’.

0:13:27.195,0:13:30.935
You cannot divide the sensory realm, [br]you cannot separate it

0:13:30.935,0:13:35.016
from the idea of conflict, of ill will, [br]and all of these kinds of things.

0:13:35.016,0:13:38.114
They have to go together by definition,

0:13:38.114,0:13:41.346
because we share a world where [br]everyone wants more;

0:13:41.346,0:13:44.665
conflict has to arise as a consequence.

0:13:44.665,0:13:49.917
And once you see that, that whole world [br]actually looks far less attractive,

0:13:49.917,0:13:53.831
because you know that the moment [br]you buy into that,

0:13:53.831,0:13:58.347
you also buy into all the problems,[br]all the immorality, all the conflict,

0:13:58.347,0:14:01.581
all the pain that also comes[br]with that world,

0:14:01.581,0:14:04.212
and then you start to shift [br]in a different direction.

0:14:04.212,0:14:06.433
You think about life in a different way.

0:14:06.433,0:14:10.833
You think about your goals in life [br]in a new way because of that.

0:14:10.833,0:14:15.013
So then your paddle, and you paddle,[br]and paddle and paddle as crazy

0:14:15.013,0:14:16.215
as far as you can.

0:14:16.215,0:14:18.050
Where do you go when you paddle?

0:14:18.050,0:14:20.913
Okay, this is the next part.[br]Where do you go when you paddle?

0:14:20.913,0:14:23.480
The first thing is that [br]you can't just paddle.

0:14:23.480,0:14:25.866
The Buddhist idea is [br]you want to cross the stream.

0:14:25.866,0:14:29.256
So first of all you paddle a little bit,[br]and then you eventually realize

0:14:29.256,0:14:32.586
you want to cross this blooming stream,[br]but initially you paddle.

0:14:32.586,0:14:38.562
So one of the other interesting suttas [br]I'm going to bring up now,

0:14:38.562,0:14:42.634
which kind of I think illustrates [br]this point a little bit.

0:14:42.634,0:14:47.734
And this is the idea, not just that[br]the stream is dangerous,

0:14:47.734,0:14:54.818
but as we go into this stream, we tend[br]to become coarser gradually over time.

0:14:54.818,0:14:58.584
It gets worse and worse, [br]as if the stream goes faster and faster

0:14:58.584,0:15:01.996
becomes more and more dangerous [br]as we carry on.

0:15:01.996,0:15:04.701
So it's not just that we are going [br]in a stream,

0:15:04.701,0:15:08.113
but the stream actually gets worse also [br]as we go along.

0:15:08.113,0:15:12.399
And I'm sure you can probably relate[br]to that to some extent, yeah.

0:15:12.399,0:15:16.718
In craving in life, sometimes we[br]have kind of craving for refined things;

0:15:16.718,0:15:20.419
and sometimes that craving kind of [br]becomes more and more obsessive,

0:15:20.419,0:15:22.055
it goes in the wrong direction,

0:15:22.055,0:15:24.915
we don't really find the satisfaction[br]that we're looking for.

0:15:24.915,0:15:27.100
And because we don't find [br]the satisfaction,

0:15:27.100,0:15:30.136
we try something that's more coarse, [br]goes further,

0:15:30.136,0:15:33.250
takes the whole thing to another level,

0:15:33.250,0:15:36.083
and as we take this craving further [br]to another level,

0:15:36.083,0:15:41.400
we are coarsening our minds,[br]and we're kind of on a downward slope,

0:15:41.400,0:15:44.971
making things worse and worse basically.

0:15:44.971,0:15:48.400
And we can see this in the world, [br]people are never really satisfied.

0:15:48.400,0:15:52.133
People never really feel that sense of[br]okay, I’ve reached a limit.

0:15:52.133,0:15:55.937
And there's a beautiful sutta about [br]this as well.

0:15:55.937,0:16:03.216
And this is a sutta which is slightly [br]kind of mythological in content,

0:16:03.216,0:16:05.083
it's called the Aggañña Sutta,

0:16:05.083,0:16:08.113
found in the long discourses [br]of the Buddha, number 27.

0:16:08.113,0:16:12.867
And this particular sutta is a sutta [br]about beginnings.

0:16:12.867,0:16:17.382
It shows how the world kind of [br]slides down from the beginning.

0:16:17.382,0:16:20.801
And of course, the world sliding down [br]from the beginning

0:16:20.801,0:16:24.653
is another metaphor [br]for the mind also sliding down,

0:16:24.653,0:16:30.033
becoming coarser, more obsessed, [br]increasing these cravings as we go along.

0:16:30.033,0:16:33.533
One of the kind of beautiful things[br]about this sutta,

0:16:33.533,0:16:37.733
it starts off by saying, [br]this is about beginnings, right?

0:16:37.733,0:16:41.933
So beginnings is usually in religion [br]means the beginning of the world.

0:16:41.933,0:16:46.733
So in Buddhism, what is the [br]beginning of the world in Buddhism?

0:16:46.733,0:16:51.469
The beginning of the world is[br]the end of the previous world, right?

0:16:51.469,0:16:52.919
That is the Buddhist idea.

0:16:52.919,0:16:57.132
So this sutta begins with the ending.[br]This is kind of cool, this is

0:16:57.132,0:17:00.783
the way Buddhism talks about [br]beginnings, it starts with endings.

0:17:00.783,0:17:05.850
So the previous world comes to an end.

0:17:05.850,0:17:08.167
And because the previous world [br]comes to an end,

0:17:08.167,0:17:12.822
you have all these beings that exist[br]in a very elevated and beautiful state,

0:17:12.822,0:17:16.703
because that is what happens when [br]the world comes to an end in this way.

0:17:16.703,0:17:19.438
They exist in a very beautiful, [br]elevated state,

0:17:19.438,0:17:23.133
where there is no craving,[br]there's no desire.

0:17:23.133,0:17:29.102
The beautiful idea here is that [br]they are feeding on bliss, pītibhakkhā

0:17:29.102,0:17:33.385
Isn't that a beautiful idea, [br]feeding on bliss?

0:17:33.385,0:17:36.803
It’s this idea you don't need any [br]nutriment from the outside,

0:17:36.803,0:17:39.416
you don't need any nutriment [br]to support your body,

0:17:39.416,0:17:41.318
because you feed on bliss.

0:17:41.318,0:17:45.251
Bliss is what sustains you, [br]bliss is what gives life meaning.

0:17:45.251,0:17:48.003
Forget about all this coarse stuff [br]in the human realm.

0:17:48.003,0:17:50.070
This is the really refined stuff.

0:17:50.070,0:17:55.622
How does it go again? I can't remember.

0:17:55.622,0:18:00.549
Anyway, so starting in this very [br]high realm, but then

0:18:00.549,0:18:04.292
as the previous universe comes to an end, [br]the new universe starts.

0:18:04.292,0:18:07.196
It's like, kind of, one big bang [br]after the other if you like.

0:18:07.196,0:18:09.151
It's kind of the Buddhist idea of things.

0:18:09.151,0:18:11.368
And then as the new world evolves,

0:18:11.368,0:18:15.285
yeah, these beings, when kind of[br]the world becomes available,

0:18:15.285,0:18:18.805
they start to get reborn in[br]slightly lower destinations.

0:18:18.805,0:18:21.622
And in this lower destinations, [br]because the world evolves,

0:18:21.622,0:18:24.214
there is material things.

0:18:24.214,0:18:26.569
And when the material things[br]of that world evolve,

0:18:26.569,0:18:30.518
part of those material things will seem [br]delightful to these people.

0:18:30.518,0:18:32.185
Or these beings,

0:18:32.185,0:18:34.849
they are not people at this point, [br]they are just beings,

0:18:34.849,0:18:36.386
feeding on bliss or whatever.

0:18:36.386,0:18:39.383
Most people don't feed on bliss, [br]at least not all the time.

0:18:39.383,0:18:41.803
Maybe hopefully sometimes, [br]not all the time.

0:18:41.803,0:18:48.068
And so the earth kind of appears, [br]and all these material things appear,

0:18:48.068,0:18:50.087
and as these things appear,

0:18:50.087,0:18:53.451
they start to look out, and see [br]''Oh what might this be?

0:18:53.451,0:18:55.053
"What is going on here?"

0:18:55.053,0:18:58.989
And they go down to this earth, [br]to this material substance,

0:18:58.989,0:19:02.791
and they break a piece off, [br]and they think what might this be?

0:19:02.791,0:19:04.533
and they taste it.

0:19:04.533,0:19:07.957
And the moment they taste it, [br]because the taste is so beautiful;

0:19:07.957,0:19:13.105
it's like.. the translation says, [br]it's sweet like wild Manuka Honey,

0:19:13.105,0:19:16.152
or something like that.[br]Beautiful taste.

0:19:16.152,0:19:20.152
At that moment, [br]craving is born in that being.

0:19:20.152,0:19:24.288
And that's kind of extraordinary[br]when you think about it.

0:19:24.288,0:19:28.174
Because here you have these beings who[br]are completely content,

0:19:28.174,0:19:33.336
completely happy, feeding on bliss, [br]but because the sense of self,

0:19:33.336,0:19:36.740
because there is a doer inside[br]that makes people act,

0:19:36.740,0:19:40.836
even though there's nothing to act for, [br]but the identifying with that doer

0:19:40.836,0:19:43.370
drives you on to do things.

0:19:43.370,0:19:49.650
And that activity that you do then [br]gives rise to craving as a consequence.

0:19:49.650,0:19:53.607
So a person that had no craving, [br]that was perfectly content,

0:19:53.607,0:19:55.835
that didn't needs anything in the [br]whole world,

0:19:55.835,0:20:02.718
because of the restless nature[br]of people or beings, craving arises.

0:20:02.718,0:20:06.384
And once that craving arises, [br]because craving is coarse

0:20:06.384,0:20:09.536
compared to the very[br]contented state of human beings,

0:20:09.536,0:20:12.004
their body becomes more coarse.

0:20:12.004,0:20:16.567
And as their body becomes coarse,[br]the world around them becomes coarse.

0:20:16.567,0:20:22.154
Because the world around us is just a [br]reflection of our own minds, in large part

0:20:22.154,0:20:25.300
depending on how you're reborn, [br]and all these kinds of things,

0:20:25.300,0:20:28.483
but our experience of the world [br]is reflected in our minds.

0:20:28.483,0:20:32.087
So the world becomes more coarse.[br]And when the world becomes more coarse,

0:20:32.087,0:20:35.701
they get more craving, and it builds up,[br]more and more craving,

0:20:35.701,0:20:39.373
eating new things, eventually they [br]start putting up boundaries,

0:20:39.373,0:20:41.614
this is my stuff, I want to eat this.

0:20:41.614,0:20:44.907
And once they put up boundaries, [br]they start stealing from each other,

0:20:44.907,0:20:47.628
when they start stealing from each other [br]they start lying

0:20:47.628,0:20:49.349
because they're gonna get penalized.

0:20:49.349,0:20:53.169
You can see the coarseness is[br]becoming worse and worse and worse,

0:20:53.169,0:20:58.287
driving on, until one day they say[br]the lifespan has declined to five years,

0:20:58.287,0:21:01.737
and there's this sword, [br]what they call the sword interval,

0:21:01.737,0:21:04.684
that is when they run after each other[br]like wild beasts,

0:21:04.684,0:21:06.956
cutting each other down [br]and killing each other,

0:21:06.956,0:21:08.618
kind of reach rock bottom,

0:21:08.618,0:21:11.771
and then things start to turn around [br]and it goes up again.

0:21:11.771,0:21:14.785
But the nature of the mind is [br]kind of going downwards,

0:21:14.785,0:21:16.743
spiraling out of control,

0:21:16.743,0:21:20.986
not really understanding that things are [br]heading in the wrong direction,

0:21:20.986,0:21:25.852
trying to find satisfaction, when [br]no satisfaction can really be found.

0:21:25.852,0:21:30.703
So this is an important aspect [br]of this idea of the stream.

0:21:30.703,0:21:34.008
Notice that in yourself, because it can[br]sometimes be easy to see

0:21:34.008,0:21:37.684
if you are too fixed on craving.

0:21:37.684,0:21:39.126
If you are not like that,

0:21:39.126,0:21:42.690
you can see it in people around us [br]in the world very often.

0:21:42.690,0:21:49.118
So these are two ideas about the idea [br]of going... this is the flow,

0:21:49.118,0:21:52.952
but I'm going to come to [br]'going against the flow' very soon.

0:21:52.952,0:21:54.300
That's really what this is all about.

0:21:54.300,0:21:57.554
It’s just kind of setting the scene [br]for going against the flow.

0:21:57.554,0:22:02.154
So there's one more sutta [br]that kind of illustrate, this point

0:22:02.154,0:22:05.369
about the flow of craving quite nicely,

0:22:05.369,0:22:07.204
in a slightly different way.

0:22:07.204,0:22:10.606
And this is one of my [br]really favorite suttas.

0:22:10.606,0:22:13.669
Every sutta is my favorite;[br]this is my kind of favorite favorite.

0:22:13.669,0:22:16.388
Not really, they are all favorites.

0:22:16.388,0:22:20.409
So this sutta is called [br]the Raṭṭhapāla Sutta.

0:22:20.409,0:22:23.387
Raṭṭhapāla is a name of a person, [br]he was called Raṭṭhapāla,

0:22:23.387,0:22:27.768
and in this Sutta this monk called [br]Raṭṭhapāla, he goes to meet a king.

0:22:27.768,0:22:29.585
This king is called Koravya,

0:22:29.585,0:22:34.220
and so he meets this king, and this king [br]is really old, he is about to die,

0:22:34.220,0:22:38.307
and he looks at Raṭṭhapāla, Raṭṭhapāla [br]is a young man, he is already an Arahant.

0:22:38.307,0:22:40.545
And this King looks at this young men [br]and asks

0:22:40.545,0:22:42.005
'Why have you gone forth?

0:22:42.005,0:22:45.120
You're young, you're healthy,[br]you're in the prime of life,

0:22:45.120,0:22:47.604
your family is wealthy,[br]you have all these relatives,

0:22:47.604,0:22:50.559
you have everything, everything[br]anyone could want in life.

0:22:50.559,0:22:52.687
Why have you gone forth?

0:22:52.687,0:22:57.575
I would like to hear the secret behind [br]this magic of the Buddha.”

0:22:57.575,0:23:02.724
The magic of the Buddha,[br]that's what they call it, the magic,

0:23:02.724,0:23:05.019
they call it the converting magic [br]of the Buddha,

0:23:05.019,0:23:07.538
because when the Buddha speaks, [br]it's like, wow, okay,

0:23:07.538,0:23:11.204
I better become a monk straight away,[br]or a nun.

0:23:11.204,0:23:14.321
So if you don't want to become a [br]monk or nun after this talk,

0:23:14.321,0:23:19.387
it means that I have a long way to go[br]before I reach the level of the Buddha!

0:23:19.387,0:23:21.921
Probably a very long way, actually.

0:23:21.921,0:23:30.522
So he speaks to Raṭṭhapāla,[br]this king, and he says,

0:23:30.522,0:23:33.289
why on earth did you go forth?

0:23:33.289,0:23:36.608
This is kind of really fascinating,[br]because if we get these teachings,

0:23:36.608,0:23:40.005
then maybe the chances are [br]that we follow suit.

0:23:40.005,0:23:43.111
And the Buddha, not the Buddha,[br]Raṭṭhapāla says,

0:23:43.111,0:23:48.273
"Well, there are four summaries of the [br]Dhamma that made me become a monastic,

0:23:48.273,0:23:51.062
that made me go forth, and eventually[br]becoming an Arahant,

0:23:51.062,0:23:53.526
a fully awakened person.

0:23:53.526,0:23:59.888
And he says, one of these summaries of the[br]Dhamma is that the world is incomplete,

0:23:59.888,0:24:05.972
it is insatiate, it is a slave to craving.

0:24:05.972,0:24:11.772
The world is incomplete, insatiate, [br]a slave to craving.

0:24:11.772,0:24:16.429
So what does that mean? What does it [br]mean 'the world is incomplete?'

0:24:16.429,0:24:17.971
Well, the world is us.

0:24:17.971,0:24:21.190
Each one of us is like the world, [br]the world is our world.

0:24:21.190,0:24:24.946
So beings are incomplete. [br]What does that mean?

0:24:24.946,0:24:28.335
It means that we feel like [br]we are not fulfilled, right?

0:24:28.335,0:24:30.861
It feels like there's something [br]missing inside of us.

0:24:30.861,0:24:34.655
It feels like there is a hole that [br]we need to fill up somehow within us.

0:24:34.655,0:24:37.288
And this is why we go out into the world.

0:24:37.288,0:24:39.544
This is why we get into relationships,

0:24:39.544,0:24:45.609
Relationship is precisely the idea of kind[br]of forming something more than ourselves.

0:24:45.609,0:24:50.139
It is kind of a very important aspect [br]of this idea of falling in love and

0:24:50.139,0:24:51.556
having a relationship.

0:24:51.556,0:24:53.589
It is an idea of feeling more complete

0:24:53.589,0:24:57.106
through someone else, [br]with the help of someone else,

0:24:57.106,0:24:59.454
even though that obviously is [br]quite dangerous,

0:24:59.454,0:25:03.527
because a relationships have to have[br]an end to it, still that's what we do.

0:25:03.527,0:25:05.848
So all of these things that [br]we're doing in life,

0:25:05.848,0:25:09.921
getting the right house, the right job, [br]which is going to be really satisfactory,

0:25:09.921,0:25:11.889
the right kind of career,

0:25:11.889,0:25:14.605
all these things; [br]getting popular in the world,

0:25:14.605,0:25:18.689
a very important one,[br]all of these things, building up,

0:25:18.689,0:25:21.139
this is how we're going to feel [br]complete.

0:25:21.139,0:25:24.254
This is kind of the idea in the world.

0:25:24.254,0:25:27.573
But here, Raṭṭhapāla says, [br]the world is incomplete.

0:25:27.573,0:25:30.489
All of those things that we're [br]seeking in the world

0:25:30.489,0:25:32.793
are never going to[br]make us feel complete.

0:25:32.793,0:25:35.576
There's always going to be [br]another desire behind that one.

0:25:35.576,0:25:38.626
There's always going to be more[br]going on into the future.

0:25:38.626,0:25:41.755
There is no final satisfaction [br]in that world.

0:25:41.755,0:25:44.176
In fact, there isn't any real [br]satisfaction at all.

0:25:44.176,0:25:47.804
Often it's the opposite, [br]there's actually more dissatisfaction,

0:25:47.804,0:25:51.138
because when you realize that [br]it actually doesn't work out,

0:25:51.138,0:25:53.906
you just crave even more,[br]for even more things,

0:25:53.906,0:25:57.876
things that are even more coarse, [br]and you don't actually get anywhere.

0:25:57.876,0:26:00.994
The world is incomplete.

0:26:00.994,0:26:02.774
It is insatiate.

0:26:02.774,0:26:05.989
There is no satisfaction, [br]because there is no completion.

0:26:05.989,0:26:08.408
There is no satisfaction.

0:26:08.408,0:26:11.440
We are the slave of craving.

0:26:11.440,0:26:16.097
It is a beautiful little saying,[br]'you are the slave of craving'.

0:26:16.097,0:26:19.740
Very often, we think the exact opposite.

0:26:19.740,0:26:21.650
We think we are the masters of craving.

0:26:21.650,0:26:23.170
Actually we enjoy craving,

0:26:23.170,0:26:27.016
because craving will get us [br]what we want, right?

0:26:27.016,0:26:30.692
If we crave, we will go into the world, [br]we will fulfill ourselves,

0:26:30.692,0:26:33.829
and we'll get what we actually want [br]in this life.

0:26:33.829,0:26:35.844
So craving is good.

0:26:35.844,0:26:39.510
One of the really beautiful things the[br]Buddha points out in another sutta,

0:26:39.510,0:26:45.409
I think it's called Chachakkasutta MN 146[br]I think (148) if you want to look it up.

0:26:45.409,0:26:50.473
And in that Sutta, the Buddha says [br]that not only do we enjoy craving,

0:26:50.473,0:26:55.824
we identify with craving.[br]We think that we are craving.

0:26:55.824,0:27:00.490
How can that be, when craving is [br]often so painful and so restless?

0:27:00.490,0:27:03.624
And the reason is [br]why we identify with craving

0:27:03.624,0:27:08.340
is because we are doers,[br]we identify with doing.

0:27:08.340,0:27:10.775
Have you ever noticed how you[br]identify with doing,

0:27:10.775,0:27:12.624
how you feel alive when you do,

0:27:12.624,0:27:15.942
how you feel you are expressing [br]yourself when you do things?

0:27:15.942,0:27:19.044
This is a very important part in our [br]modern culture,

0:27:19.044,0:27:21.210
the idea of expressing ourselves,

0:27:21.210,0:27:23.978
because what you are doing there is[br]you're expressing,

0:27:23.978,0:27:28.973
you are using a side of the ego that [br]indulges in the activity of doing.

0:27:28.973,0:27:31.606
We identify with the doing itself.

0:27:31.606,0:27:36.130
And because you identify with the [br]doing, craving is your friend.

0:27:36.130,0:27:38.741
Because craving is what makes you do.

0:27:38.741,0:27:41.492
Doing and craving are two sides [br]of the same coin.

0:27:41.492,0:27:44.791
Without the craving you can't[br]really do very much.

0:27:44.791,0:27:48.528
So that's why we also identify with the[br]craving itself.

0:27:48.528,0:27:52.209
But the Buddha turns it around, [br]instead of identifying with craving,

0:27:52.209,0:27:55.391
craving is the slave driver.

0:27:55.391,0:27:58.058
Craving is the thing that makes [br]you restless.

0:27:58.058,0:28:00.659
Craving is the thing that always [br]drives you on

0:28:00.659,0:28:03.218
from one thing to the other one, [br]without end.

0:28:03.218,0:28:05.692
You can never rest when there is craving.

0:28:05.692,0:28:09.160
Craving says, do this, and [br]you says, yes, master, please,

0:28:09.160,0:28:12.508
let me run quickly to this goal, [br]whatever it might be.

0:28:12.508,0:28:16.084
And you follow along with craving [br]without really stopping and thinking

0:28:16.084,0:28:18.175
whether it's a good idea.

0:28:18.175,0:28:22.358
You are the slave of craving.[br]And how can we understand that?

0:28:22.358,0:28:25.426
Well, the one of the ways of [br]understanding that, of course,

0:28:25.426,0:28:27.443
is through meditation practice.

0:28:27.443,0:28:31.815
As you become peaceful in meditation,[br]as things start to calm down,

0:28:31.815,0:28:36.229
you start to understand this[br]duality of craving and peace,

0:28:36.229,0:28:38.427
and how they are two opposites.

0:28:38.427,0:28:40.764
How one is really delightful,

0:28:40.764,0:28:44.461
while the other one is [br]inherently just agitated,

0:28:44.461,0:28:48.345
restlessness, driving on, [br]never being able to rest,

0:28:48.345,0:28:50.714
thinking that you're going[br]somewhere worthwhile,

0:28:50.714,0:28:53.592
when actually it is just more of the [br]same down the road

0:28:53.592,0:28:55.958
again and again and again.

0:28:55.958,0:28:58.110
Just occurred to me

0:28:58.110,0:29:03.026
how we often get complaints that [br]Buddhism is so pessimistic,

0:29:03.026,0:29:08.252
maybe I should stop talking like this, [br]this is kind of going really ........

0:29:08.252,0:29:10.110
We have to come to the [br]solution, right?

0:29:10.110,0:29:12.923
So much negativity, wow, [br]that's really bad.

0:29:12.923,0:29:15.276
So how do we resolve all of this?

0:29:15.276,0:29:18.258
How do we kind of.. what can we do[br]about all of this?

0:29:18.258,0:29:25.160
The slave, this idea of a stream going [br]on and kind of moving us into the future.

0:29:25.160,0:29:26.760
How can we deal with this?

0:29:26.760,0:29:28.891
And how to deal with this, actually,

0:29:28.891,0:29:32.909
first of all, we have to kind of [br]understand some of these streams,

0:29:32.909,0:29:35.575
and how to think about them.

0:29:35.575,0:29:39.450
So, I'll talk a little bit about[br]kind of streams from different angles,

0:29:39.450,0:29:41.676
and then see what we can do about them.

0:29:41.676,0:29:43.789
And then I'm going to look [br]at the very end,

0:29:43.789,0:29:46.391
towards how we can enter an [br]alternative stream.

0:29:46.391,0:29:48.238
That's where it gets really exciting.

0:29:48.238,0:29:49.716
What is the alternative stream?

0:29:49.716,0:29:53.201
Is there a different stream that maybe[br]not heading towards the crocodiles,

0:29:53.201,0:29:59.010
but it's heading towards happiness, [br]joy, bliss, insight, understanding,

0:29:59.010,0:30:02.462
wisdom, all of these kinds of things.

0:30:02.462,0:30:05.577
That is the cool kind of stream [br]where we really want to go.

0:30:05.577,0:30:09.680
So one of the ways of thinking about [br]the streams of the Dhamma

0:30:09.680,0:30:14.294
is what is sometimes called in the Suttas [br]the Aṭṭha-loka-dhamma;

0:30:14.294,0:30:17.966
the eight worldly conditions, or the [br]eight worldly things.

0:30:17.966,0:30:22.692
And these things are, [br]one of these things is like

0:30:22.692,0:30:27.860
praise and blame is one of them, [br]praise and blame,

0:30:27.860,0:30:31.194
popularity, unpopularity, [br]happiness and suffering,

0:30:31.194,0:30:34.426
gain and loss. [br]So these are the eight of them.

0:30:34.426,0:30:39.362
So these are eight aspects [br]of the streams of the world.

0:30:39.362,0:30:43.712
And they're kind of very interesting,[br]because they basically summarize

0:30:43.712,0:30:47.344
the sort of things that we are [br]interested in the world

0:30:47.344,0:30:50.494
that make the world [br]come alive for us.

0:30:50.494,0:30:53.462
And the first one of those is [br]praise and blame.

0:30:53.462,0:30:57.283
And this is a very interesting one,

0:30:57.283,0:31:02.279
because it is so addictive to be praised, [br]and people often live to be praised,

0:31:02.279,0:31:04.765
and that's what they want [br]in their life.

0:31:04.765,0:31:06.562
But of course, you realize very soon

0:31:06.562,0:31:09.943
if you're trying to get praised [br]all the time that you can't control it,

0:31:09.943,0:31:12.148
and actually the world doesn't [br]work like that.

0:31:12.148,0:31:16.669
So if you are on this boat kind of[br]rejoicing and being praised or whatever,

0:31:16.669,0:31:19.546
soon enough you're going to have [br]suffering as a consequence,

0:31:19.546,0:31:22.278
because there's no way you're going [br]to be able to sustain

0:31:22.278,0:31:25.246
all that praise all the time.

0:31:25.246,0:31:28.032
So one of the ways that I like [br]to think about the idea of

0:31:28.032,0:31:30.830
praise and blame[br]in my own life is the idea that

0:31:30.830,0:31:33.945
most people who praise me [br]or who blame me,

0:31:33.945,0:31:38.183
actually often that is for [br]such superficial, irrelevant things.

0:31:38.183,0:31:40.695
And most of the people who praise

0:31:40.695,0:31:42.941
and blame you, what do they[br]understand anyway

0:31:42.941,0:31:46.344
about what is really worthwhile [br]in the world?

0:31:46.344,0:31:47.724
That's what I think..

0:31:47.724,0:31:50.978
I never say it, but I think it. [br]I just said it right now. I forgot.

0:31:50.978,0:31:54.443
But these are things you can think,

0:31:54.443,0:31:56.579
but you have to be careful with [br]saying them;

0:31:56.579,0:31:58.845
otherwise it might become problematic.

0:31:58.845,0:32:02.044
There are things in Buddhism you have [br]to keep kind of private.

0:32:02.044,0:32:04.427
But it is true though, isn't it?

0:32:04.427,0:32:06.928
Most people in the world don't really[br]understand

0:32:06.928,0:32:10.228
what is really praiseworthy, [br]and what is really blameworthy.

0:32:10.228,0:32:12.715
So, very often we get praised for things [br]and blamed

0:32:12.715,0:32:16.314
that are completely irrelevant,[br]that don't really matter at all.

0:32:16.314,0:32:20.577
So why do we get attached to all of these [br]things that don’t really matter?

0:32:20.577,0:32:27.946
Someone praises you for, oh, that's a [br]beautiful shawl you have,

0:32:27.946,0:32:30.262
it is quite nice, actually.

0:32:30.262,0:32:34.061
So don't attach, right?

0:32:34.061,0:32:38.329
So we say these things and

0:32:38.329,0:32:41.972
actually it doesn't really matter whether [br]you have a beautiful shawl or not.

0:32:41.972,0:32:43.995
It doesn't matter whatever you are doing,

0:32:43.995,0:32:45.866
oh, you got a nice new car or whatever.

0:32:45.866,0:32:48.147
These things are kind of [br]completely irrelevant,

0:32:48.147,0:32:50.436
yet we attach to these kinds of things.

0:32:50.436,0:32:53.961
So the first thing to understand is that [br]most people don't understand

0:32:53.961,0:32:57.427
what is really praiseworthy, or [br]what is blameworthy.

0:32:57.427,0:33:02.167
And because of that, most of the time, [br]just forget about it. It doesn't matter.

0:33:02.167,0:33:04.324
What you should ask yourself, [br]you should ask,

0:33:04.324,0:33:07.581
is the praise something really useful [br]and really good?

0:33:07.581,0:33:09.764
And if it is, okay, then fine,

0:33:09.764,0:33:12.014
and if it is true. Okay? No, issue.

0:33:12.014,0:33:15.980
If you get blamed, ask yourself, [br]Is there something going on there

0:33:15.980,0:33:18.276
which is worthwhile, [br]okay, then take it on board

0:33:18.276,0:33:20.762
and maybe correct your direction [br]a little bit.

0:33:20.762,0:33:27.213
But lot of the time, there's no need [br]to pay much attention to these things.

0:33:27.213,0:33:30.151
The only time you really [br]should pay attention

0:33:30.151,0:33:33.697
is if someone like the Buddha [br]praises you.

0:33:33.697,0:33:37.748
If the Buddha says, 'Good on you'.

0:33:37.748,0:33:40.330
He wouldn't say that, but something [br]similar like that,

0:33:40.330,0:33:42.578
'you're practicing well', [br]then, of course,

0:33:42.578,0:33:44.798
that's when you should listen,

0:33:44.798,0:33:49.249
because that is someone who[br]understands what is worthwhile.

0:33:49.249,0:33:53.356
But what you find is some of the most [br]famous teachers in the world,

0:33:53.356,0:33:57.015
teachers you may think [br]might be Arahants,

0:33:57.015,0:34:00.468
might be stream enterers, [br]might have some deep insight,

0:34:00.468,0:34:04.969
they don't praise very much at all, [br]nor do they blame very much.

0:34:04.969,0:34:08.830
They encourage you more just by [br]being kind, by being gentle,

0:34:08.830,0:34:12.746
by kind of saying things that .....[br]sometimes they might praise you,

0:34:12.746,0:34:14.837
but it's not a lot of praise coming out,

0:34:14.837,0:34:18.720
nor is there much blame. [br]It’s just a gentle kind of encouragement.

0:34:18.720,0:34:20.986
How is your meditation going?

0:34:20.986,0:34:23.412
Oh, I'm getting some happiness and joy.

0:34:23.412,0:34:26.212
Okay, very good carry on.

0:34:26.212,0:34:28.795
Ajahn Brahm says that, right? [br]Very good, carry on!

0:34:28.795,0:34:30.663
He says that all the time.

0:34:30.663,0:34:32.370
So this is kind of the idea,

0:34:32.370,0:34:36.095
because I think they know that if you get [br]praised too much, or blame too much,

0:34:36.095,0:34:40.062
you just attach to these things,[br]you don't use those things too much.

0:34:40.062,0:34:45.979
So, this is kind of the idea, how we deal [br]with praise and blame in the world.

0:34:45.979,0:34:49.246
We look at the person who's [br]blaming us, or praising us,

0:34:49.246,0:34:51.981
are they really worthwhile, taking them [br]seriously or not?

0:34:51.981,0:34:54.279
Most of the time, not necessarily.

0:34:54.279,0:34:58.248
Let's praise each other instead for[br]the things that are really worthwhile.

0:34:58.248,0:35:02.096
So if you see people in the community [br]who are doing well, who are being kind,

0:35:02.096,0:35:05.065
that is a good opportunity to praise them

0:35:05.065,0:35:08.800
for practicing the spiritual life, [br]for doing the right thing.

0:35:08.800,0:35:10.933
That is a great opportunity.

0:35:10.933,0:35:14.765
I mean, praise each other for the nice[br]shawls as well, absolutely.

0:35:14.765,0:35:15.930
Be kind to each other,

0:35:15.930,0:35:18.683
then it is really up to the person [br]who is receiving it to decide

0:35:18.683,0:35:20.253
whether it's important or not.

0:35:20.253,0:35:23.786
Don't be afraid of praise, [br]praising others, please do so,

0:35:23.786,0:35:25.182
it's a beautiful thing to do,

0:35:25.182,0:35:28.016
when we do it in the right way [br]without any ego involved.

0:35:28.016,0:35:32.183
But it's also our job to know [br]when the praise really matters or not.

0:35:32.183,0:35:36.717
The other thing of these eight worldly [br]dhammas is the idea of

0:35:36.717,0:35:42.821
being popular or unpopular,[br]or being famous or living in obscurity.

0:35:42.821,0:35:44.448
This is another one.

0:35:44.448,0:35:50.246
And again, the idea in Buddhism is that [br]a lot of the things that we think of

0:35:50.246,0:35:54.666
popularity in the world, [br]again, is very superficial.

0:35:54.666,0:35:57.897
People are popular for kind of [br]crazy things in the world.

0:35:57.897,0:36:00.764
Some people are famous [br]for being famous, as they say.

0:36:00.764,0:36:03.426
They don't really have any [br]good reasons for it.

0:36:03.426,0:36:05.622
Or they are famous just for being[br]a movie star.

0:36:05.622,0:36:08.532
Ok, you are a movie star, so you become [br]famous automatically.

0:36:08.532,0:36:11.549
Or you are rich, if you're rich[br]you become famous.

0:36:11.549,0:36:13.990
If you're very poor, [br]you also become famous, right?

0:36:13.990,0:36:15.848
Like us, we are

0:36:15.848,0:36:19.137
either very rich, or very poor, [br]the two ends of the kind of scale.

0:36:19.137,0:36:22.193
So someone like Ajahn Brahm, [br]very famous, not because he's rich,

0:36:22.193,0:36:27.069
but actually, in part because he's[br]poor, right? Yes, that's true, isn't it?

0:36:27.069,0:36:28.790
It's actually true that because.....

0:36:28.790,0:36:34.327
he has nothing, and yet he is one of the [br]most happiest persons imaginable,

0:36:34.327,0:36:36.355
at least that I know,[br]always very happy.

0:36:36.355,0:36:39.137
That's kind of what makes life [br]interesting,

0:36:39.137,0:36:43.105
when you see that contrast[br]between the absolute having nothing,

0:36:43.105,0:36:45.077
and the happiness on the other side.

0:36:45.077,0:36:49.010
That's what makes the dhamma [br]so interesting.

0:36:49.010,0:36:52.685
So again, all of this popularity is [br]often so superficial.

0:36:52.685,0:36:54.709
So if we want to be popular,

0:36:54.709,0:36:57.386
you should become popular [br]because you are a good person,

0:36:57.386,0:36:59.838
because you have metta, [br]because you have kindness,

0:36:59.838,0:37:02.292
because you have compassion for[br]people in the world.

0:37:02.292,0:37:04.688
That is the kind of popularity [br]we should seek for.

0:37:04.688,0:37:07.372
And if you don't become popular [br]when you live like that,

0:37:07.372,0:37:09.464
then popularity is irrelevant,

0:37:09.464,0:37:11.959
it doesn't matter. [br]Let the popularity go,

0:37:11.959,0:37:14.359
because actually, it doesn't matter.

0:37:14.359,0:37:18.445
There are some beautiful verses in the[br]suttas that says something like,

0:37:18.445,0:37:24.494
if you can find a wise companion, [br]then you should travel together

0:37:24.494,0:37:27.546
and kind of develop together[br]in the practice.

0:37:27.546,0:37:32.076
But if you cannot find a wise companion, [br]if all you can find is a fool,

0:37:32.076,0:37:38.845
then it's better to go alone, like an [br]elephant in the forest

0:37:38.845,0:37:40.544
or something like that.

0:37:40.544,0:37:44.210
This idea that all this popularity [br]is really irrelevant.

0:37:44.210,0:37:48.510
In fact, when you really understand [br]what the dhamma is about,

0:37:48.510,0:37:50.995
popularity is a hassle.

0:37:50.995,0:37:55.431
You want to be more unpopular. [br]Not me, I'm not so advanced yet,

0:37:55.431,0:37:57.027
but some other people, right?

0:37:57.027,0:38:01.095
Sometimes I listen to Ajahn Brahm, [br]sometimes he says things that

0:38:01.095,0:38:04.264
people would think he's crazy, [br]it's kind of completely upside down

0:38:04.264,0:38:06.379
of what you normally would think.

0:38:06.379,0:38:07.864
So Ajahn Brahm says,

0:38:07.864,0:38:13.029
if we do this, there will be fewer people [br]coming to the monastery. Let's do this!

0:38:13.029,0:38:14.628
(laughs)

0:38:14.628,0:38:18.014
And I said "No, Ajahn don't, that's bad. [br]We shouldn't do that.

0:38:18.014,0:38:20.123
It's good that people come[br]to the monastery".

0:38:20.123,0:38:22.477
He said, no, we should have fewer people.

0:38:22.477,0:38:26.728
He doesn't actually mean it 100%, right?[br]He wants people to come to the monastery

0:38:26.728,0:38:30.745
to be able to share the dhamma and, [br]rejoice and offering together.

0:38:30.745,0:38:31.977
Of course he does.

0:38:31.977,0:38:36.442
But he's making a point that a lot[br]of people is often kind of problematic

0:38:36.442,0:38:38.080
from a dhamma point of view.

0:38:38.080,0:38:41.060
If your meditation is really deep, [br]you want to be in solitude.

0:38:41.060,0:38:44.314
In the suttas you find cases [br]where the Buddha says,

0:38:44.314,0:38:46.865
when I come out of a deep meditation,

0:38:46.865,0:38:52.712
when people come to visit me, I talk to [br]them in a way that puts them off.

0:38:52.712,0:38:55.064
Yeah, that's what the Buddha says,

0:38:55.064,0:38:57.560
actually, he wants them to leave [br]as quickly as possible

0:38:57.560,0:39:00.395
because of the happiness of solitude.

0:39:00.395,0:39:05.512
So, that's kind of the ultimate point of [br]the idea of popularity and being famous.

0:39:05.512,0:39:07.794
Actually, it is a hassle.

0:39:07.794,0:39:10.639
There are some other beautiful suttas[br]where the Buddha says,

0:39:10.639,0:39:13.010
let me never become famous.

0:39:13.010,0:39:18.612
Fame is kind of bad all the way down, [br]because it just leads to problems.

0:39:18.612,0:39:21.679
And what happened? He became famous.

0:39:21.679,0:39:25.034
That's how you become famous, [br]because you don't want to become famous.

0:39:25.034,0:39:29.095
Because that is so counterintuitive. [br]That's kind of the thing about the Buddha.

0:39:29.095,0:39:33.846
So, again, understand that popularity [br]is not really all it is cracked up to be.

0:39:33.846,0:39:38.500
So how can we deal with a life? [br]and I mentioned this here the other week,

0:39:38.500,0:39:40.116
when I was here last time.

0:39:40.116,0:39:45.129
How can we live a life ..[br]we kind of are in solitude maybe,

0:39:45.129,0:39:47.794
we become less dependent on[br]people around us,

0:39:47.794,0:39:50.246
we don't care about popularity so much,

0:39:50.246,0:39:55.846
and we know that in the present day [br]there's a lot of loneliness in the world.

0:39:55.846,0:39:58.148
During the pandemic it was quite bad.

0:39:58.148,0:40:00.296
Many young people being lonely [br]apparently,

0:40:00.296,0:40:04.267
old people being lonely[br]sitting in an old age homes,

0:40:04.267,0:40:06.411
not knowing what to do with themselves.

0:40:06.411,0:40:08.667
And the answer to that is very simple.

0:40:08.667,0:40:11.935
The answer is we have to develop [br]more metta, more kindness.

0:40:11.935,0:40:15.746
Because loneliness is a feeling of not[br]being connected.

0:40:15.746,0:40:17.014
That's what loneliness is.

0:40:17.014,0:40:19.933
You're sitting by yourself; [br]this small little world of mine,

0:40:19.933,0:40:22.235
not connected to the world outside.

0:40:22.235,0:40:26.995
But the best way of being connected to [br]the world is not by being popular.

0:40:26.995,0:40:29.461
It is not by having large [br]amounts of friends.

0:40:29.461,0:40:32.515
Because all of those things will [br]eventually let you down.

0:40:32.515,0:40:34.763
Eventually, you are with people,

0:40:34.763,0:40:36.866
and sometimes they say[br]the wrong thing,

0:40:36.866,0:40:38.600
they're not kind to you or whatever.

0:40:38.600,0:40:43.530
The best way of never being lonely [br]is to have metta, the kindness,

0:40:43.530,0:40:47.448
the goodness, the love, compassion [br]in your heart.

0:40:47.448,0:40:51.385
If you have that, you never feel lonely, [br]because you don't feel separated.

0:40:51.385,0:40:54.248
The idea of love is the opposite [br]of being separated.

0:40:54.248,0:40:56.862
You always feel connected [br]to the whole world,

0:40:56.862,0:41:01.494
even when you sit in your little kuti, [br]your little hut, all by yourself.

0:41:01.494,0:41:03.247
So please do that.

0:41:03.247,0:41:07.381
Practice that metta and you become [br]independent, you become powerful,

0:41:07.381,0:41:11.397
you gain the ability to just be [br]completely by yourself.

0:41:11.397,0:41:12.875
Isn't that a beautiful idea?

0:41:12.875,0:41:15.006
Instead of depending on people [br]all the time,

0:41:15.006,0:41:18.384
depending on relationships, [br]depending on being popular or whatever,

0:41:18.384,0:41:21.434
you can actually hang out by yourself [br]and be completely content,

0:41:21.434,0:41:24.702
actually more content than when you [br]hangout with other people.

0:41:24.702,0:41:28.468
So develop that kindness; [br]is what the Buddha is saying.

0:41:28.468,0:41:32.964
It starts off by having metta, [br]kindness by body and speech,

0:41:32.964,0:41:36.586
then kindness in thoughts, [br]then kindness in meditation.

0:41:36.586,0:41:38.980
It builds up, one upon the other,

0:41:38.980,0:41:42.663
until you start to feel connected [br]with the whole world around you.

0:41:42.663,0:41:44.064
That is where you want to go.

0:41:44.064,0:41:48.349
Then you are popular in a really deep [br]sense of the word.

0:41:48.349,0:41:52.850
So what about the last four of these;

0:41:52.850,0:41:56.269
the happiness and suffering and [br]gain and loss?

0:41:56.269,0:41:58.516
Maybe we can look at those together.

0:41:58.516,0:42:02.346
And, again, the way to think about [br]gain and loss,

0:42:02.346,0:42:05.917
which I really like, the idea of [br]kind of getting things in life,

0:42:05.917,0:42:11.246
material things or relationships, [br]or status or whatever it is.

0:42:11.246,0:42:13.580
One of the beautiful similes [br]of the Buddha,

0:42:13.580,0:42:16.417
which I always found very, very powerful;

0:42:16.417,0:42:22.287
is the idea, actually it is the idea [br]that all of these things are borrowed.

0:42:22.287,0:42:24.180
These are borrowed things.

0:42:24.180,0:42:27.667
We have them for a time and[br]then they will go.

0:42:27.667,0:42:33.262
There's one nice sutta which has been[br]translated as 'themes' into English.

0:42:33.262,0:42:39.719
There’s five themes, five themes, [br]that a monk or a nun;

0:42:39.719,0:42:44.488
or actually a nun or a monk,[br]no, actually a lay woman and a lay man,

0:42:44.488,0:42:47.712
a nun or a monk[br]or a monastic whatever.

0:42:47.712,0:42:50.368
That's how it goes, [br]a laywoman and a layman.

0:42:50.368,0:42:54.737
and then I think it says one gone-forth,[br]I don't think it says nun,

0:42:54.737,0:42:58.913
i think it says one gone forth,[br]should reflect on, all the time.

0:42:58.913,0:43:01.416
Abhiṇha means frequently. [br]Five things,

0:43:01.416,0:43:03.451
And one of those things,[br]those five things;

0:43:03.451,0:43:07.047
the rest of the five, [br]they would come another time

0:43:07.047,0:43:10.555
so that you will have a reason to come [br]back to the Buddhist center here.

0:43:10.555,0:43:13.081
So this is just ... [br]So I will tell you one of them.

0:43:13.081,0:43:14.732
One of them is that

0:43:14.732,0:43:19.685
'everything that is dear and beloved [br]to me must become otherwise,

0:43:19.685,0:43:22.415
must become separated from me'.

0:43:22.415,0:43:27.954
Everything that is dear and beloved to me [br]must become otherwise,

0:43:27.954,0:43:31.120
must become separated from me.

0:43:31.120,0:43:33.049
It's very powerful saying.

0:43:33.049,0:43:35.319
What is it that is dear and [br]beloved to you?

0:43:35.319,0:43:39.416
What are the things in your life that[br]would be most difficult to lose?

0:43:39.416,0:43:44.567
And, of course, one of them very often [br]is like our closest relationships.

0:43:44.567,0:43:48.444
If you have a good relationship with your[br]boyfriend, or girlfriend

0:43:48.444,0:43:51.403
or your husband and wife, [br]if that relationship is really good,

0:43:51.403,0:43:55.597
then of course, it also means[br]very strong kind of bonding very often.

0:43:55.597,0:43:58.454
And therefore the consequences [br]down the track are often also

0:43:58.454,0:44:00.421
going to be quite difficult to deal with.

0:44:00.421,0:44:04.616
So what are the things that you are[br]afraid to lose?

0:44:04.616,0:44:08.147
Look at that. And then when you look at[br]that, and you understand

0:44:08.147,0:44:11.378
the problem that arises from[br]that, you actually...

0:44:11.378,0:44:16.181
and the way to do that is to have this [br]idea of the idea of the borrowed goods.

0:44:16.181,0:44:19.786
The idea of how all of these things [br]now in our lives are actually borrowed.

0:44:19.786,0:44:21.484
I only have it for a time.

0:44:21.484,0:44:25.285
This is my beautiful relationship [br]with this woman or this man

0:44:25.285,0:44:30.049
or this daughter or son or this mother [br]and father, this friend or whatever it is.

0:44:30.049,0:44:33.866
It's a wonderful relationship, [br]but it's a borrowed relationship.

0:44:33.866,0:44:38.152
It will only last for so long, [br]and then it will be gone.

0:44:38.152,0:44:41.653
How do we treat [br]borrowed things in the world?

0:44:41.653,0:44:45.137
Borrowed things, you think[br]about them in a different way, right?

0:44:45.137,0:44:49.364
If you borrow a car, you rent a car [br]compared to actually buying one,

0:44:49.364,0:44:50.797
it's a different feeling.

0:44:50.797,0:44:55.299
You treat a rented car different from[br]one that...I was going to say 'is yours'

0:44:55.299,0:44:59.816
but 'you think is your own' [br]is a much better way of putting it.

0:44:59.816,0:45:01.181
You treat it differently.

0:45:01.181,0:45:04.516
So all the things in that world that we [br]actually are borrowed,

0:45:04.516,0:45:06.730
once you start to look at it like that,

0:45:06.730,0:45:09.369
your relationship to those things [br]is different.

0:45:09.369,0:45:11.775
You don't hold on so much anymore.

0:45:11.775,0:45:13.400
You look at it in a different way.

0:45:13.400,0:45:17.651
You realize you're going to have to find [br]a deeper satisfaction and happiness

0:45:17.651,0:45:19.184
somewhere else,

0:45:19.184,0:45:22.131
because those borrowed goods are [br]inherently unreliable.

0:45:22.131,0:45:25.587
The things in your life, [br]your house, your car, everything you own,

0:45:25.587,0:45:28.200
your career, your status in this world,

0:45:28.200,0:45:30.484
all the people that are[br]closest to you,

0:45:30.484,0:45:34.585
all of those things are ultimately [br]borrowed goods.

0:45:34.585,0:45:36.668
And once you start to see that,

0:45:36.668,0:45:39.131
you start to treat these [br]things in a different way.

0:45:39.131,0:45:43.835
You start to look for real meaning, [br]completeness, satisfaction, contentment,

0:45:43.835,0:45:45.718
somewhere else in life.

0:45:45.718,0:45:48.453
You start to lean towards the[br]spiritual path.

0:45:48.453,0:45:51.302
And of course, the power of the [br]spiritual path is that

0:45:51.302,0:45:54.454
all of those things that are [br]borrowed goods,

0:45:54.454,0:45:58.349
they become more meaningful as well,[br]as you practice a spiritual path,

0:45:58.349,0:46:02.284
because we're able to treat them [br]more from a spiritual point of view.

0:46:02.284,0:46:04.187
It makes them more meaningful.

0:46:04.187,0:46:07.386
It makes the relationships better [br]actually down the track.

0:46:07.386,0:46:11.798
It makes your ability even to enjoy the [br]worldly goods around you

0:46:11.798,0:46:15.981
more wholesome, more pure, and [br]therefore better as a consequence.

0:46:15.981,0:46:18.989
This is the paradox of the [br]spiritual path.

0:46:18.989,0:46:21.816
It looks like I'm saying all of these [br]negative things

0:46:21.816,0:46:23.652
about all the things in the world,

0:46:23.652,0:46:27.115
but actually, if you practice the [br]spiritual path in the right way,

0:46:27.115,0:46:30.588
the things of the world actually[br]become more meaningful.

0:46:30.588,0:46:34.417
They start to take on a new lease of[br]life, so to speak,

0:46:34.417,0:46:37.685
and they actually start to be able to use[br]them in a proper way,

0:46:37.685,0:46:41.415
a way that does not lead to just problems[br]down the track.

0:46:41.415,0:46:43.617
So you start living with kindness.

0:46:43.617,0:46:47.768
You start living a life where you really [br]care for the people around you.

0:46:47.768,0:46:52.071
You try to say good things, [br]kinds things, gentle things,

0:46:52.071,0:46:56.119
things that unify people,[br]things that are meaningful, purposeful,

0:46:56.119,0:46:58.454
that actually go somewhere.

0:46:58.454,0:47:01.472
You start to treat people with [br]compassion and understanding.

0:47:01.472,0:47:02.933
When you have an opportunity,

0:47:02.933,0:47:05.348
you always do an act of kindness[br]around you.

0:47:05.348,0:47:08.469
I must admit that I'm very impressed [br]with our president,

0:47:08.469,0:47:12.920
because I'm part of the Committee of this [br]Buddhist Society, I get all the emails

0:47:12.920,0:47:14.767
being sent by the committee[br]members.

0:47:14.767,0:47:17.303
And he's really good with his [br]words and his emails,

0:47:17.303,0:47:20.334
I always think, wow, I should [br]kind of up my game a little bit

0:47:20.334,0:47:23.670
to be as good as Hock Chin.

0:47:23.670,0:47:25.297
Very nice emails.

0:47:25.297,0:47:26.963
If you get an email from Hock Chin…

0:47:26.963,0:47:30.092
ask him, please send me an email[br]because it's gonna make your day.

0:47:30.092,0:47:33.166
Sorry, Hock Chin.... (Ajahn laughs),

0:47:33.166,0:47:35.638
I'm being naughty now.

0:47:35.638,0:47:40.204
We start to think in the right way [br]about how to use speech,

0:47:40.204,0:47:43.195
how to use emails; all of these things [br]in a positive way,

0:47:43.195,0:47:44.939
to give other people a gift.

0:47:44.939,0:47:49.967
I really like this idea, how speech can [br]give gifts to people all the time.

0:47:49.967,0:47:51.788
If we use speech wisely,

0:47:51.788,0:47:54.838
saying something nice, [br]saying something gentle,

0:47:54.838,0:47:57.489
something that goes to the [br]heart of other people,

0:47:57.489,0:47:59.386
there's something beautiful about that.

0:47:59.386,0:48:02.191
So often we speak, [br]we have that opportunity.

0:48:02.191,0:48:06.606
If that desire to speak gently is not [br]there, hold back, don't speak now.

0:48:06.606,0:48:09.691
Wait till desire actually arises.

0:48:09.691,0:48:13.701
And this is how, gradually,[br]things start to change.

0:48:13.701,0:48:15.572
Things start to become meaningful.

0:48:15.572,0:48:17.884
You start to think about the world[br]in a new way.

0:48:17.884,0:48:20.033
You start to think about people [br]in a new way,

0:48:20.033,0:48:22.705
More compassion because you understand [br]we're all trapped

0:48:22.705,0:48:25.384
in this suffering together.[br]Everyone is there.

0:48:25.384,0:48:27.587
And it's no wonder people do bad things,

0:48:27.587,0:48:29.823
when they have so much suffering[br]in their life..

0:48:29.823,0:48:31.238
Of course they do bad things.

0:48:31.238,0:48:34.056
Come here, I'll give you a hug. [br]Not me, someone else.

0:48:34.056,0:48:36.151
I don't usually hug people.

0:48:36.151,0:48:38.855
Well, really, I hug my mother, [br]that's about it.

0:48:38.855,0:48:44.302
So we do the right thing in this way. [br]Thinking about the world in the right way.

0:48:44.302,0:48:48.353
As we do that, this is what it means [br]to paddle against that stream.

0:48:48.353,0:48:50.169
Remember the stream in the beginning,

0:48:50.169,0:48:52.614
leading to the saltwater crocodiles [br]right?

0:48:52.614,0:48:55.716
Now we're paddling away from the [br]saltwater crocodiles.

0:48:55.716,0:48:59.307
The saltwater crocodiles are fading away [br]in the rear mirror.

0:48:59.307,0:49:02.054
I'm not sure if the rafts have mirrors[br]these days,

0:49:02.054,0:49:05.486
but if it has a mirror, they're kind of [br]fading away in the rear mirror.

0:49:05.486,0:49:08.332
(Ajahn making a gesture of relief)[br]Phew! Saltwater crocodiles.

0:49:08.332,0:49:10.533
I’m getting close, that was [br]like a close call.

0:49:10.533,0:49:14.007
But anyway, so you have just made it. [br]And you paddle against the stream.

0:49:14.007,0:49:18.240
And as you paddle against the stream, [br]the current becomes weaker.

0:49:18.240,0:49:21.254
The current becomes[br]weaker and weaker and weaker

0:49:21.254,0:49:24.840
as you paddle against it...[br]because you are reducing your defilements.

0:49:24.840,0:49:26.320
You're becoming more kind,

0:49:26.320,0:49:31.801
the craving, the anger, the normal habits [br]of your mind are weakening as you do this.

0:49:31.801,0:49:34.086
I don't know if you have seen this [br]in your life,

0:49:34.086,0:49:36.511
if you have lived a spiritual life [br]for a long time,

0:49:36.511,0:49:38.889
but I've seen it very clearly [br]in my own life,

0:49:38.889,0:49:41.037
how these things weaken over time,

0:49:41.037,0:49:44.123
and actually you become a[br]more good-hearted person over time,

0:49:44.123,0:49:46.137
gradually, gradually developing.

0:49:46.137,0:49:48.622
And then eventually there comes a day,

0:49:48.622,0:49:52.483
when eventually you are so pure, [br]it's almost no effort at all

0:49:52.483,0:49:54.569
to paddle that raft anymore.

0:49:54.569,0:49:58.985
And suddenly one day, you have a[br]deep meditation, a deep insight

0:49:58.985,0:50:03.023
into the nature of reality. [br]And boom! you enter a new stream,

0:50:03.023,0:50:07.021
going in exactly the opposite[br]direction, going towards, not a

0:50:07.021,0:50:12.308
whirlpool, not a shark, not a[br]monster, not a saltwater crocodile,

0:50:12.308,0:50:14.523
not even a freshwater crocodile;

0:50:14.523,0:50:18.288
but going towards all the good things [br]that you ever wanted in life.

0:50:18.288,0:50:22.808
Everything you always were looking for,[br]you've entered the stream of the Dhamma,

0:50:22.808,0:50:26.767
moving in the right direction.[br]And now there is no turning back.

0:50:26.767,0:50:28.773
There's only one goal for you, [br]and that is

0:50:28.773,0:50:31.223
the highest happiness of the world.

0:50:31.223,0:50:35.720
And that is where, that right stream,[br]the stream of the Dharma

0:50:35.720,0:50:38.696
as opposed to the stream [br]of defilements,

0:50:38.696,0:50:42.048
the stream that we're normally in, [br]that is where it's heading for you.

0:50:42.048,0:50:44.922
All you have to do is hang out [br]on the path,

0:50:44.922,0:50:49.937
listen to the beautiful word of the Buddha[br]again, and again and again,

0:50:49.937,0:50:52.354
and gradually make this change.

0:50:52.354,0:50:57.320
One day, you too may enter that stream, [br]heading for happiness all the way.

0:50:57.320,0:51:01.736
Okay, that's the talk for this evening, [br]thank you.

0:51:01.736,0:51:06.186
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

0:51:06.186,0:51:14.208
Okay, everyone, so are there any[br]questions? Yes, please, Mr. President,

0:51:18.308,0:51:20.872
Yeah. So for the New Year, [br]they set goals,

0:51:20.872,0:51:24.236
it can be financial, or whatever,

0:51:24.236,0:51:28.724
so what is your advice[br]from spiritual point of view?

0:51:28.724,0:51:33.716
What goal we should have? [br]Yes, that is a very, very good point,

0:51:33.716,0:51:36.442
I should have talked about New[br]Year's resolutions tonight.

0:51:36.442,0:51:37.885
That was a missed opportunity.

0:51:37.885,0:51:40.691
I should have talked about that; [br]but now I have the chance,

0:51:40.691,0:51:42.551
because you've asked this question.

0:51:42.551,0:51:45.196
So what should be our [br]New Year's resolution?

0:51:45.196,0:51:47.646
What should be our goals as Buddhists?

0:51:47.646,0:51:51.683
And increasing your bank account; [br]I wouldn't recommend that one.

0:51:51.683,0:51:53.770
It's not really a Buddhist kind of way.

0:51:53.770,0:51:56.027
I mean, it's fine if your bank[br]account increase,

0:51:56.027,0:51:58.385
but that shouldn't be a goal as such.

0:51:58.385,0:52:03.103
But I think, there can be many [br]kinds of goals,

0:52:03.103,0:52:06.231
but I think one of the important things [br]when we have a resolution

0:52:06.231,0:52:11.158
is to make it not too arduous, [br]so we're actually able to fulfill it.

0:52:11.158,0:52:13.462
I mean, one of the things that [br]we see every year

0:52:13.462,0:52:16.180
when people take up these resolutions, [br]is that they fail.

0:52:16.180,0:52:18.908
As soon as they start, they can; [br]but after a week or two,

0:52:18.908,0:52:20.483
too difficult, can't do it.

0:52:20.483,0:52:24.532
So if you're going to do a resolution [br]like meditation for example,

0:52:24.532,0:52:27.667
start really low, put the bar as low [br]as you can;

0:52:27.667,0:52:31.831
five minutes a week, right?[br]Everyone can do five minutes a week.

0:52:31.831,0:52:34.698
And if you can't do that, okay, give up.

0:52:34.698,0:52:38.465
Because the thing is that [br]if you start low,

0:52:38.465,0:52:41.995
and you have success and you enjoy it, [br]it will encourage you, right?

0:52:41.995,0:52:44.951
Then you will, of course, [br]it's very easy to up that.

0:52:44.951,0:52:47.282
And then you can do five minutes [br]twice a week.

0:52:47.282,0:52:49.579
And eventually we do 10 minutes [br]every day maybe,

0:52:49.579,0:52:51.682
and you can build up in that way.

0:52:51.682,0:52:53.184
So put the bar very low;

0:52:53.184,0:52:57.798
that's kind of the obvious thing,[br]I think for New Year’s resolutions.

0:52:57.798,0:53:02.563
But the most important thing [br]on the spiritual path,

0:53:02.563,0:53:05.551
the thing that kind of [br]undergirds everything else.

0:53:05.551,0:53:08.329
Actually, there's many different ways [br]of looking at this;

0:53:08.329,0:53:12.497
but the most important thing in the [br]spiritual practice is always kindness.

0:53:12.497,0:53:17.916
And the ability to live with kindness[br]moment to moment,

0:53:17.916,0:53:20.280
day in day out, year in year out,

0:53:20.280,0:53:23.382
that is what is going to make this[br]path really progresses.

0:53:23.382,0:53:26.180
I'm always surprised when I read the[br]suttas, how everything

0:53:26.180,0:53:28.498
is kind of founded on kindness.

0:53:28.498,0:53:33.198
Meditation is, according to the suttas, [br]an automatic process.

0:53:33.198,0:53:36.115
And you may wonder, how can that [br]possibly be, you may wonder,

0:53:36.115,0:53:38.321
because you sit down and [br]the mind is always...

0:53:38.321,0:53:41.577
not an automatic process at all, [br]it's not going anywhere very often.

0:53:41.577,0:53:43.799
Well, the reason why it isn't [br]going anywhere

0:53:43.799,0:53:47.969
is because the sīla, the virtue, [br]the kindness is not profound enough yet.

0:53:47.969,0:53:49.453
That is the reason.

0:53:49.453,0:53:51.598
So one of the most important [br]things in life

0:53:51.598,0:53:54.085
for anyone who's really serious [br]about this practice,

0:53:54.085,0:53:57.752
is to put a lot of emphasis [br]into the idea of kindness,

0:53:57.752,0:54:02.467
moment to moment,[br]verbal, bodily and mental.

0:54:02.467,0:54:05.606
As soon as you see that[br]you get a negative thought about someone,

0:54:05.606,0:54:08.144
ask, 'How can I think about this person [br]differently?'

0:54:08.144,0:54:09.815
How can I see them with compassion?

0:54:09.815,0:54:11.801
How can I see their good qualities?

0:54:11.801,0:54:16.017
So that is what you should,[br]that is to me, the most important one.

0:54:16.017,0:54:18.623
Get that right, [br]everything flows from there.

0:54:21.343,0:54:23.849
Anyone else like to say anything here?

0:54:24.519,0:54:27.749
Maybe this lady in front here,[br]first of all.

0:54:28.369,0:54:32.809
This lady in the middle, I think, [br]in the center of the universe.

0:54:34.984,0:54:44.641
(not audible)

0:54:48.221,0:54:49.685
Thank you for the talk

0:54:49.685,0:54:52.768
When you're talking about the stream,

0:54:52.768,0:54:58.434
is it almost like a metaphor for[br]the links of dependent origination?

0:54:58.434,0:55:03.123
Dependent Origination.. yeah, [br]I would say it is that as well,

0:55:03.123,0:55:07.253
because that kind of shows you [br]how the stream works.

0:55:07.253,0:55:11.582
So, there are feelings, [br]because we feel the world we crave.

0:55:11.582,0:55:15.016
Because we crave the world [br]we pick things up, all kinds of things

0:55:15.016,0:55:16.869
metaphorically and literally.

0:55:16.869,0:55:19.969
And because of that, we make kamma.

0:55:19.969,0:55:23.283
Because we relate to the things that we[br]pick up we make kamma,

0:55:23.283,0:55:27.100
through that making of kamma we are reborn[br]according to that kamma and craving.

0:55:27.100,0:55:31.634
So indeed, it is very closely related [br]to the idea of a stream; absolutely!

0:55:31.634,0:55:35.868
Yeah, well done. You have passed; [br]I was going to say 101,

0:55:35.868,0:55:38.435
but this is like 104 maybe.

0:55:38.435,0:55:41.734
(Ajahn laughs) [br]That's good.

0:55:46.024,0:55:49.237
Me again Ajahn Brahmali, [br]A very interesting talk.

0:55:49.237,0:55:51.768
Okay, good.

0:55:51.768,0:55:55.335
Ajahn Brahmali, when you[br]talk about streaming,

0:55:55.335,0:55:59.117
you mentioned about the craving and[br]the eight winds,

0:55:59.117,0:56:03.151
is that streaming related to the [br]stream entrance?

0:56:03.151,0:56:11.207
Yes it is, exactly. Sotāpanna [br]'Sotā' is a stream; āpanna means attain;

0:56:11.207,0:56:12.983
one who has attained the stream.

0:56:12.983,0:56:14.755
So once you become a stream-enter,

0:56:14.755,0:56:17.610
that is when you go the [br]stream of the dhamma; Dhamma sotā

0:56:17.610,0:56:20.200
and you head to awakening, [br]you are heading to Nibbana,

0:56:20.200,0:56:21.883
whether you want to or not.

0:56:21.883,0:56:25.057
But I'm sure you will want to, [br]so you'll be fine.

0:56:25.057,0:56:27.437
What came to my mind when talking [br]about streaming,

0:56:27.437,0:56:29.305
I was thinking of the Buddha,

0:56:29.305,0:56:33.257
Buddha was telling us [br]we can read his teachings;

0:56:33.257,0:56:37.755
we can hear his teaching, [br]but that's not enough.

0:56:37.755,0:56:41.769
He asked us to interact [br]with his teachings.

0:56:41.769,0:56:44.424
So the interaction is that streaming [br]isn't t?

0:56:44.424,0:56:47.437
Interact with the teachings.

0:56:47.437,0:56:52.083
Our mind, our feelings, all these things[br]that you mentioned about...

0:56:52.083,0:56:54.287
you see what I mean?

0:56:54.287,0:56:55.374
Yes you can interact..

0:56:55.374,0:56:57.738
I think I would just....

0:56:57.738,0:57:02.640
I would say that interaction to me [br]is just the idea of doing the teachings,

0:57:02.640,0:57:06.759
of following the teachings. [br]That's what I would call that.

0:57:06.759,0:57:08.839
And you can call it interaction [br]in one way.

0:57:08.839,0:57:13.104
One of the ways of interacting is to gain[br]some joy out of the fact

0:57:13.104,0:57:15.469
that you have the Buddha as your teacher.

0:57:15.469,0:57:18.192
We don't fully understand [br]who the Buddha is.

0:57:18.192,0:57:20.269
If we really understood [br]who the Buddha was,

0:57:20.269,0:57:23.288
you would have such incredible joy [br]that we have such a teacher.

0:57:23.288,0:57:27.936
Because it is an extraordinary thing to [br]have someone like a Buddha in the world.

0:57:27.936,0:57:32.717
And that is to me, interaction, [br]because then you're literally feeding off

0:57:32.717,0:57:37.605
the fact that you have the Buddha[br]and the Dhamma as your teachings.

0:57:37.605,0:57:41.597
The reason why I asked is I also [br]trying to link what you said..streaming...

0:57:43.087,0:57:44.737
An Interesting talk, Thank you

0:57:44.737,0:57:50.002
Excellent Eddy. Thank you. [br]Anyone else? No one else?

0:57:50.710,0:57:53.610
Everyone is quiet. Okay. Very good.

0:57:53.610,0:57:58.654
So let's take a few from overseas.

0:57:58.654,0:58:01.956
So we have a question from Gloria Wong.

0:58:01.956,0:58:05.124
People always say that the Buddha is kind

0:58:05.124,0:58:11.755
but I can't feel his kindness [br]in the suttas. Why is that?

0:58:11.755,0:58:17.237
Well, I think sometimes you can, sometimes[br]you can see the kindness in the suttas.

0:58:17.237,0:58:21.107
There are some very touching suttas [br]with the Buddha,

0:58:21.107,0:58:25.256
and one of them is where the Buddha[br]finds a monk with dysentery.

0:58:25.256,0:58:27.536
Dysentery is a very filthy[br]illness,

0:58:27.536,0:58:29.790
everything kind of comes out of [br]your body.

0:58:29.790,0:58:32.153
And the Buddha together with[br]Venerable Ananda,

0:58:32.153,0:58:36.435
they clean up this monk,[br]yeah, it's kind of a very powerful sutta.

0:58:36.435,0:58:38.835
So you do see that kindness sometimes.

0:58:38.835,0:58:42.523
But I think a problem with the suttas[br]is that the suttas are really just ...

0:58:42.523,0:58:47.507
remember they are like [br]distilled essence of the Dhamma.

0:58:47.507,0:58:50.086
These have been refined over [br]many, many centuries.

0:58:50.086,0:58:53.974
In the beginning, the word of the Buddha [br]was what they had,

0:58:53.974,0:58:56.957
and then it was refined and systematized [br]to some extent,

0:58:56.957,0:58:59.724
and then we have the[br]suttas coming from that.

0:58:59.724,0:59:04.053
They have taken away so much of[br]the human element in the suttas,

0:59:04.053,0:59:07.817
and it has become like a kind of prose,

0:59:07.817,0:59:11.237
the teachings of the Buddha on [br]how to practice the path.

0:59:11.237,0:59:15.873
There's very little kind of emotion and [br]human interaction in the suttas.

0:59:15.873,0:59:19.442
So, sometimes there is and sometimes you[br]can see that coming through,

0:59:19.442,0:59:21.124
but very often there is not.

0:59:21.124,0:59:23.124
So they can often seem a bit dry.

0:59:23.124,0:59:27.661
But if you look carefully, I think you [br]will see the Buddha, the human being,

0:59:27.661,0:59:29.726
the Buddha underneath the surface,

0:59:29.726,0:59:33.054
and I think you're able to see a lot[br]of kindness and compassion there,

0:59:33.054,0:59:35.707
if you look at the suttas in the [br]right way.

0:59:35.707,0:59:41.208
Remember all the teachings of the suttas [br]are an expression of that kindness really,

0:59:41.208,0:59:45.516
because the Buddha is showing [br]people the path to the highest happiness.

0:59:45.516,0:59:47.621
What more can you give anyone [br]in the world

0:59:47.621,0:59:50.384
than the highest happiness?[br]It's the highest gift, right? .

0:59:50.384,0:59:53.923
You can't give anyone a higher gift [br]than the highest happiness.

0:59:53.923,0:59:57.969
So this is what every sutta is about,[br]that gift of the highest happiness.

0:59:57.969,1:00:01.674
And once you see that, [br]you will see every sutta actually is

1:00:01.674,1:00:05.017
through and through kindness.

1:00:05.017,1:00:12.787
Okay, another one from someone[br]called Ne Torre mo JD

1:00:12.787,1:00:15.203
that's an interesting name. [br]Okay, hello....

1:00:15.203,1:00:20.167
So anyway, your question is [br]how to deal with negative cravings?

1:00:20.167,1:00:24.972
Any concrete practices needed to accept [br]and have positive thoughts of it?

1:00:24.972,1:00:28.570
Often cravings bring [br]satisfaction and happiness.

1:00:28.570,1:00:32.369
I am not sure what you mean by [br]negative cravings.

1:00:32.369,1:00:34.901
Do you mean cravings to do bad stuff?

1:00:34.901,1:00:38.486
Or do you mean ... what exactly do you [br]mean by negative cravings?

1:00:38.486,1:00:42.223
So I think one of the,

1:00:42.223,1:00:45.356
like so many things on the [br]Buddhist path;

1:00:45.356,1:00:50.056
if it really is negative, [br]and if it is bad kamma,

1:00:50.056,1:00:53.407
then of course you just have to[br]restrain yourself

1:00:53.407,1:00:57.170
and you have to see the danger [br]in going there

1:00:57.170,1:00:59.368
and look towards the positive things,

1:00:59.368,1:01:02.186
like with so many other things.[br]Keep the five precepts,

1:01:02.186,1:01:05.669
because if you don't keep the [br]five precepts, you're gonna break them.

1:01:05.669,1:01:08.286
It's like your determination to keep them[br]basically,

1:01:08.286,1:01:10.672
that's what I would call [br]a negative craving.

1:01:10.672,1:01:14.923
So if you want to kill someone, please [br]don't kill anyone, because bad idea.

1:01:14.923,1:01:17.042
And try to go even further than that,

1:01:17.042,1:01:19.466
because that's not enough, [br]just not to kill anyone,

1:01:19.466,1:01:21.505
that's not going to get you [br]all that far.

1:01:21.505,1:01:22.710
Try to take it further.

1:01:22.710,1:01:32.224
So first of all, try to kind of [br]restrain those negative things.

1:01:32.224,1:01:34.643
Don't follow them, [br]know that they are bad.

1:01:34.643,1:01:37.469
If you see them in your mind, [br]just leave them in your mind,

1:01:37.469,1:01:40.374
but don't follow those things.[br]That's the first thing.

1:01:40.374,1:01:42.865
The second thing is not to judge yourself.

1:01:42.865,1:01:45.606
Because very often, when we say we don't[br]want to go there,

1:01:45.606,1:01:47.350
we judge ourselves very harshly.

1:01:47.350,1:01:49.998
I shouldn't think like this, [br]I shouldn't do that.

1:01:49.998,1:01:51.889
But please don't do that.

1:01:51.889,1:01:53.822
Because you, every one of us,

1:01:53.822,1:01:58.858
we are the sum of the conditioning that [br]has worked on us

1:01:58.858,1:02:00.687
for innumerable lifetimes.

1:02:00.687,1:02:02.824
We are built up to be like this.

1:02:02.824,1:02:06.456
And because we have become like this, [br]we can't really help those things.

1:02:06.456,1:02:09.263
They are there. They're part of[br]what has actually come to be

1:02:09.263,1:02:11.351
through all these conditioning processes.

1:02:11.351,1:02:14.379
So don't judge yourself. [br]Instead be kind to yourself,

1:02:14.379,1:02:17.373
because you are the[br]victim of those cravings.

1:02:17.373,1:02:22.148
You are the victim of those bad habits. [br]Far better to see yourself as a victim.

1:02:22.148,1:02:25.782
It's not anyone else who is [br]the perpetrator,

1:02:25.782,1:02:28.621
there is no perpetrator, [br]but you are still the victim.

1:02:28.621,1:02:30.349
And we are all a bit like that.

1:02:30.349,1:02:33.515
And once you understand that you [br]are the victim of these things,

1:02:33.515,1:02:36.300
then you start to think [br]"Well, what is the way out"?

1:02:36.300,1:02:38.287
Then you can look at it neutrally.

1:02:38.287,1:02:42.974
You don't react in a negative way, which [br]destroys the ability for having insight.

1:02:42.974,1:02:44.302
Instead you become neutral,

1:02:44.302,1:02:48.118
and you say, let me look at[br]this thing carefully with mindfulness

1:02:48.118,1:02:50.625
and see what the cause is, [br]what the problem is,

1:02:50.625,1:02:53.887
and then when I understand that,[br]then I can start to shift direction,

1:02:53.887,1:02:58.133
I can start to understand, why is it [br]that I have these negative cravings?

1:02:58.133,1:03:00.039
What is driving this process?

1:03:00.039,1:03:01.820
Maybe it's just foolishness.

1:03:01.820,1:03:05.267
And one day it will just switch off [br]like that (Ajahn snaps his fingers),

1:03:05.267,1:03:09.187
because you have understood the problem.

1:03:09.187,1:03:11.933
Often cravings bring satisfaction [br]and happiness,

1:03:11.933,1:03:15.233
Yes, often they do bring satisfaction [br]and happiness,

1:03:15.233,1:03:19.800
and this is part of the problem.[br]Because this is why we follow them, right?

1:03:19.800,1:03:22.183
So you have to remember the downside.

1:03:22.183,1:03:26.571
It's only when you remember the downside [br]that you can steer in the right direction.

1:03:26.571,1:03:29.064
And the Buddha talks about this [br]in the suttas,

1:03:29.064,1:03:32.280
he talks about the benefit of something, [br]the downside or something

1:03:32.280,1:03:34.020
and then the escape.

1:03:34.020,1:03:36.511
Asadha, adhinava, nissarana;

1:03:36.511,1:03:39.351
three factors that he talks about [br]everywhere in the suttas.

1:03:39.351,1:03:42.867
And the downside is always greater [br]than the upside.

1:03:42.867,1:03:45.655
That's why we have all those [br]saltwater crocodiles.

1:03:45.655,1:03:48.957
I love the saltwater crocodiles. [br]Don't you think they're pretty cool?

1:03:48.957,1:03:50.555
I really find that really cool.

1:03:50.555,1:03:53.438
Because you have to be Australian to[br]understand that.

1:03:53.438,1:03:56.803
I'm Australian enough to[br]understand the meaning of that.

1:03:56.803,1:04:00.338
I'm really kind of proud of that. [br]So I thought that was really cool.

1:04:00.338,1:04:02.737
Okay, anyway. Next one.

1:04:02.737,1:04:09.136
This is someone who calls themselves [br]Vegan Kind; Vegan Kind, okay.

1:04:09.136,1:04:14.703
Is that your real name or kind of your [br]pen name, so to speak? Anyway..

1:04:14.703,1:04:21.066
The question--when I create, I suffer [br]as a result of identification with it,

1:04:21.066,1:04:24.652
and attachment to it; [br]the final result of a project?

1:04:24.652,1:04:29.888
How can I think about things more [br]wisely in this respect?

1:04:29.888,1:04:32.352
That's a very good question.

1:04:32.352,1:04:36.155
Because you identify with things and you[br]create things then you

1:04:36.155,1:04:40.803
kind of have a problem down the track.

1:04:40.803,1:04:46.189
So what you have to do is that [br]you have to do things

1:04:46.189,1:04:52.723
not because you want to build something, [br]but because you want to live well.

1:04:52.723,1:04:58.277
Whenever you do something, do it[br]because you want to be kind to the world;

1:04:58.277,1:05:00.822
because you want to leave something for [br]someone else

1:05:00.822,1:05:02.653
out of generosity or kindness.

1:05:02.653,1:05:04.821
That's why you should do things[br]in this life.

1:05:04.821,1:05:08.317
Not because it is something [br]necessarily for you.

1:05:08.317,1:05:12.351
And the best example for me of this, [br]this is in a little book called

1:05:12.351,1:05:16.390
The Karuna Virus [br]which we have published in

1:05:16.390,1:05:19.939
connection with the corona pandemic[br]and has stories about Ajahn Brahm,

1:05:19.939,1:05:22.383
and one of the stories in there about [br]Ajahn Brahm,

1:05:22.383,1:05:25.840
which maybe not that many people [br]had heard until that book came out.

1:05:25.840,1:05:30.969
This is a story of the fire that we had [br]at Bodhinyana Monastery in 1991.

1:05:30.969,1:05:36.436
By 1991, Ajahn Brahm had worked on that [br]monastery day and night,

1:05:36.436,1:05:40.672
Ajahn Brahm was, he still is, [br]an incredibly hard worker.

1:05:40.672,1:05:42.786
And in those days, even more hard working,

1:05:42.786,1:05:45.671
because his stomach wasn't[br]in the way for all the hard work,

1:05:45.671,1:05:48.388
so it was easier for him[br]to kind of work properly.

1:05:48.388,1:05:50.500
So he worked really, really hard.

1:05:50.500,1:05:53.840
Also he is very intelligent, [br]he picks up things very fast

1:05:53.840,1:05:57.276
because of his, whatever it is [br]background, or kamma or whatever.

1:05:57.276,1:06:01.304
So he built up this monastery,[br]worked seven days a week, sometimes

1:06:01.304,1:06:06.173
having flood lights to be able to see at [br]night, and all these kinds of things.

1:06:06.173,1:06:11.372
Yeah, Main Hall, Dana Sala, [br]and this was his life's work.

1:06:11.372,1:06:14.285
Eight years of work in this monastery.

1:06:14.285,1:06:16.222
And then comes the fire.

1:06:16.222,1:06:18.506
Fire comes.. this is like the[br]biggest bushfire..

1:06:18.506,1:06:24.434
That day was the hottest day so far in [br]Perth area, 46 point something degrees,

1:06:24.434,1:06:27.239
super, super hot and the fire comes.

1:06:27.239,1:06:30.932
And of course when a fire comes [br]with that heat, in Western Australia,

1:06:30.932,1:06:33.503
in the middle of summer, [br]that was the 30th of January.

1:06:33.503,1:06:37.371
In the middle of summer, everything is [br]kind of dry as bones.

1:06:37.371,1:06:39.326
And really, really bad.

1:06:39.326,1:06:41.907
And of course, everyone says [br]everything is gonna go,

1:06:41.907,1:06:42.906
this is it.

1:06:42.906,1:06:45.905
Everything is going to be kind of gone.

1:06:45.905,1:06:50.570
And of course most people, if your[br]life's work is going to be gone.

1:06:50.570,1:06:54.136
If you spent eight years or[br]something, working day and night

1:06:54.136,1:06:58.438
to build something, if that is[br]gonna go, you feel a sense of despair.

1:06:58.438,1:07:01.573
Oh, no, this is terrible. [br]What am I going to do?

1:07:01.573,1:07:04.937
And you kind of go crazy, [br]maybe you cry, maybe you shout,

1:07:04.937,1:07:08.307
maybe you do bad things as[br]a consequence.

1:07:08.307,1:07:10.754
People do bad things when these things[br]happen.

1:07:10.754,1:07:15.841
And so, what happened with Ajahn Brahm [br]was kind of really fascinating.

1:07:15.841,1:07:18.209
This is what he told me personally.

1:07:18.209,1:07:20.736
Of course he might deny [br]that is exactly what he said;

1:07:20.736,1:07:23.424
but this is how I remember it anyway.

1:07:23.424,1:07:28.390
What he said was ‘at that moment,[br]when I realized what was going on,

1:07:28.390,1:07:30.991
I was able to let it go, just like that.[br](Ajahn snaps his fingers)

1:07:30.991,1:07:34.741
And when I eventually got out of the [br]monastery to a safe place,

1:07:34.741,1:07:38.541
I knew that if the monastery would [br]burn down completely

1:07:38.541,1:07:40.472
and be gone on the following day,

1:07:40.472,1:07:43.807
I would just go back and start[br]from square one.

1:07:43.807,1:07:45.508
And he said the reason is,

1:07:45.508,1:07:48.756
‘because I didn't build the monastery [br]to create a monastery,

1:07:48.756,1:07:52.076
I built the monastery to create [br]something good in the world,

1:07:52.076,1:07:55.204
out of generosity, out of kindness [br]for future generations,

1:07:55.204,1:07:57.449
to build up Buddhism in [br]Western Australia.

1:07:57.449,1:07:59.091
It was an act of kindness.

1:07:59.091,1:08:03.052
The result in terms of bricks and mortar [br]was not important.

1:08:03.052,1:08:05.285
What was important was the [br]act of kindness.

1:08:05.285,1:08:10.219
And that act of kindness could always[br]be carried on, on the following day.

1:08:10.219,1:08:13.322
That is the kind of attitude, right?

1:08:13.322,1:08:18.419
You're doing things not because they [br]mean anything in the material realm.

1:08:18.419,1:08:21.923
You do things because they mean [br]something in the spiritual realm.

1:08:21.923,1:08:24.491
They are acts of kindness, [br]act of generosity,

1:08:24.491,1:08:26.425
acts of purity of the heart.

1:08:26.425,1:08:29.970
Then you can never go wrong, [br]then you never lose out.

1:08:29.970,1:08:34.672
So if you can use a little bit of that [br]kind of attitude in your creative work,

1:08:34.672,1:08:38.278
then I think you will gradually [br]move in a good direction,

1:08:38.278,1:08:42.956
and you won't attach quite so much [br]perhaps. So best of luck.

1:08:42.956,1:08:46.819
A couple of more quick questions.

1:08:46.819,1:08:48.549
Next one is from YC Tan.

1:08:48.549,1:08:53.582
Dear Ajahn, how do we help siblings[br]and parents who live together,

1:08:53.582,1:08:57.754
but constantly quarrel over[br]material things?

1:08:57.754,1:09:04.396
We encourage kindness, prayer, [br]volunteering, etc. But nothing is working.

1:09:07.176,1:09:10.806
This is a standard question [br]I get so often.

1:09:10.806,1:09:13.659
How do we change other people? [br]That's kind of the question.

1:09:13.659,1:09:15.457
How do we change other people?

1:09:15.457,1:09:17.508
And that's kind of always the question.

1:09:17.508,1:09:21.730
So then, the best way to change others, [br]of course is to change yourself.

1:09:21.745,1:09:27.042
You are the one, the only person[br]you can really change in the world.

1:09:27.042,1:09:30.508
And this is kind of one of the harsh[br]realities of life,

1:09:30.508,1:09:35.678
is that our ability even to change[br]ourselves is so difficult, right?

1:09:35.678,1:09:40.013
If you try to change, try[br]to be more kind, try to be less whatever,

1:09:40.013,1:09:42.270
actually it's very hard.

1:09:42.270,1:09:44.727
If I say to you 'be less angry',[br]'OK!'

1:09:44.727,1:09:47.826
It takes time. [br]It's difficult to do that.'

1:09:47.826,1:09:51.057
And so even though it is so hard[br]to change ourselves,

1:09:51.057,1:09:53.206
we demand that other people change.

1:09:53.206,1:09:56.022
But remember that they are in deep ruts,

1:09:56.022,1:09:59.376
they are in deep habits.[br]It is difficult for them to change too.

1:09:59.376,1:10:01.540
If they are used to arguing [br]with each other,

1:10:01.540,1:10:04.155
they probably enjoy that argument[br]to some extent.

1:10:04.155,1:10:07.575
That's how people are. We enjoy [br]an argument; we enjoy being angry,

1:10:07.575,1:10:11.672
we enjoy doing all kinds of crazy stuff[br]in this world.

1:10:11.672,1:10:15.976
So the most important thing [br]for you to do very often

1:10:15.976,1:10:18.778
for other people is to be the example,

1:10:18.778,1:10:20.388
the example of harmony,

1:10:20.388,1:10:24.159
the example person who shows[br]an alternative way of being.

1:10:24.159,1:10:26.391
That is one of the most important things.

1:10:26.391,1:10:30.741
And then as you do that, gradually, [br]gradually, things may turn around.

1:10:30.741,1:10:34.409
And of course, if you have the ability [br]to kind of guide them towards

1:10:34.409,1:10:37.010
some kind of dhamma teaching, [br]that's wonderful.

1:10:37.010,1:10:40.256
Remember, because you[br]are the son and the sibling,

1:10:40.256,1:10:43.990
very often as the son and the sibling,[br]they're not gonna listen to you.

1:10:43.990,1:10:47.339
Because parents don't often listen [br]to the children all that much.

1:10:47.339,1:10:50.491
Or siblings... yeah, [br]you're just my brother, shut up.

1:10:50.491,1:10:53.446
I don't want to hear from you.[br]Sometimes it's a bit like that.

1:10:53.446,1:10:55.934
But if you get an authority figure [br]that they trust,

1:10:55.934,1:10:58.738
this is one of the critical things.[br]Get an authority figure,

1:10:58.738,1:11:01.328
get Ajahn Bram, right? [br]Invite Ajahn Brahm to a Dana.

1:11:01.328,1:11:03.970
Actually I shouldn't say that [br]poor Ajahn Brahm.

1:11:03.970,1:11:09.042
It's very difficult to get Ajahn Brahm [br]for danas these days.

1:11:09.042,1:11:12.610
Get some.. get them to listen to an [br]authority figure.

1:11:12.610,1:11:17.390
And if you can, invite them to a dana or [br]at least come to somewhere

1:11:17.390,1:11:21.790
Ajahn Brahm is available for receiving the[br]food. And then go up to Ajahn Brahm

1:11:21.790,1:11:24.514
and give a leading question [br]to Ajahan Brahm

1:11:24.514,1:11:28.946
''Ajahn, should there be harmony[br]or quarreling in a family?

1:11:28.946,1:11:32.365
What do you think? Can you talk [br]about that? Something like that.

1:11:32.365,1:11:34.244
And let's see what happens.

1:11:34.244,1:11:36.543
And Ajahn will probably crack a few [br]good jokes,

1:11:36.543,1:11:40.491
everyone will laugh, maybe that will kind [br]of .. and a bit of good dhamma in there.

1:11:40.491,1:11:43.378
And then you might be in business; [br]something like that.

1:11:43.378,1:11:46.846
But don't expect change.[br]I think this is the important thing.

1:11:46.877,1:11:50.328
Try to help them, encourage them, [br]but if you expect change,

1:11:50.328,1:11:54.075
you're asking for suffering for yourself.

1:11:54.075,1:11:58.257
Last question, which is good,[br]because I'm getting a bit tired now.

1:11:58.257,1:12:02.462
This is from Richard Upton Pickman [br]from Scotland,

1:12:02.462,1:12:08.987
I listen to you Ajahn, I want to leave[br]my worldly life behind and become a monk.

1:12:08.987,1:12:14.326
But! ... but .. I am married. And I don't[br]want to break my commitment.

1:12:14.326,1:12:17.940
How do I reconcile these cravings?

1:12:17.940,1:12:23.295
Okay, so you have to make the most;[br]if you don't want to break a commitment,

1:12:23.295,1:12:26.660
you have to make the most [br]out of your married life. Yeah.

1:12:26.660,1:12:30.575
But the ideal thing to do, and this is [br]the ideal thing to do,

1:12:30.575,1:12:35.874
your wife also wants to become a nun.[br]She becomes a nun, you become a monk.

1:12:35.874,1:12:38.864
That is the ideal.[br]That's what I really recommend.

1:12:38.864,1:12:44.945
So your main job is now to convince[br]your wife that nuns are really cool,

1:12:44.945,1:12:46.524
they are the best. Yeah.

1:12:46.524,1:12:49.526
Nuns are kind of.. this is the path [br]to the highest happiness.

1:12:49.526,1:12:52.612
And that may be impossible. [br]Maybe your wife is not up for that.

1:12:52.612,1:12:54.412
But anyway, that's kind of the ideal.

1:12:54.412,1:12:56.735
And we have some examples of that [br]here in Perth.

1:12:56.735,1:13:00.927
We have one monk who was a[br]monk at Bodhinyana Monastery

1:13:00.927,1:13:04.414
and a Nun at Dhammasara Monastery,[br]and they decided to do just that,

1:13:04.414,1:13:05.870
they became a monk and a nun,

1:13:05.870,1:13:09.209
and I think they are much more happy[br]now than they were before.

1:13:09.209,1:13:11.711
That's kind of a good, good news.

1:13:11.711,1:13:14.764
There are some very interesting [br]stories from the suttas.

1:13:14.764,1:13:17.884
According to the story, [br]Venerable Maha Kassapa,

1:13:17.884,1:13:20.228
one of the great monks at the time of[br]the Buddha,

1:13:20.228,1:13:25.994
he was married, he had this very wonderful[br]wife before, he was (married).

1:13:25.994,1:13:29.610
They decided to split up, she became[br]a nun, he became a monk.

1:13:29.610,1:13:32.980
And I think they both became Arahants, [br]fully enlightened.

1:13:32.980,1:13:35.725
So that is what I recommend you to do.

1:13:35.725,1:13:37.118
And if that doesn't work out,

1:13:37.118,1:13:38.615
the kind of the second option,

1:13:38.615,1:13:42.175
this is a low, much, much lower option,[br]is way down the scale.

1:13:42.175,1:13:46.171
This is what you really should do [br]if you have tried everything

1:13:46.171,1:13:47.594
to make your wife into a Nun

1:13:47.594,1:13:50.161
and if that doesn't work, [br]you really have to try hard,

1:13:50.161,1:13:52.918
then the second option-[br]make the most of your married life.

1:13:52.918,1:13:55.992
A married life lived well [br]can take you a long way on the path

1:13:55.992,1:13:57.514
if you do it in a good way.

1:13:57.514,1:14:02.057
I see a lot of married people around [br]the world who are very, very good people

1:14:02.057,1:14:05.675
and they are using the married life [br]to progress in the Dhamma.

1:14:05.675,1:14:09.253
If you do that well, do that in the [br]right way, you can go a long way.

1:14:09.253,1:14:11.938
But still better to become a [br]monk and nun.

1:14:11.938,1:14:13.320
(Ajahn laughs)

1:14:13.720,1:14:16.246
OK, Thank you everyone for this evening.

1:14:16.246,1:14:18.903
So let's pay respects to the [br]Buddha Dhamma Sangha

1:14:18.903,1:14:21.564
before we call it a day.