WEBVTT 00:00:09.952 --> 00:00:10.787 I am the greatest 00:00:10.787 --> 00:00:12.313 the modern art Muhammad Ali 00:00:12.313 --> 00:00:13.340 I melt faces 00:00:13.340 --> 00:00:14.861 call me MC Dali 00:00:14.861 --> 00:00:16.008 your whole body of work 00:00:16.008 --> 00:00:17.604 is a fluffy mountain of crap 00:00:17.604 --> 00:00:19.838 you're the PBS version of Nickelback 00:00:19.838 --> 00:00:21.182 but I think you must be a genius 00:00:21.182 --> 00:00:22.578 cause with zero training 00:00:22.578 --> 00:00:23.821 you made millions teaching people 00:00:23.821 --> 00:00:25.116 how to suck at painting 00:00:25.116 --> 00:00:26.310 why don't you go back home 00:00:26.310 --> 00:00:27.752 and beat your brush you chump 00:00:27.752 --> 00:00:28.984 I could make better art 00:00:28.984 --> 00:00:29.973 with my wiener 00:00:29.973 --> 00:00:30.767 Lump 00:00:30.767 --> 00:00:32.756 I'm so glad that you could join me today 00:00:32.756 --> 00:00:34.022 so I could teach you how to 00:00:34.022 --> 00:00:35.541 feel some joy when you paint 00:00:35.541 --> 00:00:36.954 you're moody little genius 00:00:36.954 --> 00:00:38.279 always so serious 00:00:38.279 --> 00:00:38.878 I know 00:00:38.878 --> 00:00:40.981 you must be on your Blue Period 00:00:40.981 --> 00:00:42.371 your work is melancholic 00:00:42.371 --> 00:00:43.693 I'm painting happy little trees 00:00:43.693 --> 00:00:44.854 call me Jackson Pollock 00:00:44.854 --> 00:00:46.342 because I splatter MCs 00:00:46.342 --> 00:00:47.457 with the voice the soothes 00:00:47.457 --> 00:00:48.647 so let's do this 00:00:48.647 --> 00:00:49.715 I'll twist you up like you're a 00:00:49.715 --> 00:00:51.098 Rubik's cubist 00:00:51.098 --> 00:00:52.032 Don't use that word 00:00:52.032 --> 00:00:53.170 like you know what it is 00:00:53.170 --> 00:00:54.692 you painted thirty thousand pictures 00:00:54.692 --> 00:00:55.908 of bushes and sticks 00:00:55.908 --> 00:00:56.960 does your audience know 00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:58.391 that you stole your whole show 00:00:58.391 --> 00:00:59.743 you just ripped off your teacher 00:00:59.743 --> 00:01:00.871 and added an afro 00:01:00.871 --> 00:01:02.020 my name is Pablo Diego 00:01:02.020 --> 00:01:03.269 José Francisco de Paula 00:01:03.269 --> 00:01:04.862 Juan Nepomuceno María de los 00:01:04.862 --> 00:01:07.348 Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad 00:01:07.348 --> 00:01:08.897 Ruiz y Picasso 00:01:08.897 --> 00:01:09.477 back 00:01:09.477 --> 00:01:10.114 to 00:01:10.114 --> 00:01:10.804 you 00:01:10.804 --> 00:01:11.490 Bob 00:01:11.490 --> 00:01:12.302 Well Bob is dropping bombs like 00:01:12.302 --> 00:01:13.393 this is Guernica 00:01:13.393 --> 00:01:14.273 I served twenty years 00:01:14.273 --> 00:01:14.924 Air Force 00:01:14.924 --> 00:01:16.748 United States of America 00:01:16.748 --> 00:01:17.472 my technique 00:01:17.472 --> 00:01:18.786 will make your mistress weep 00:01:18.786 --> 00:01:19.507 put her to sleep 00:01:19.507 --> 00:01:20.599 elbow drop her dreams 00:01:20.599 --> 00:01:21.437 I go deep 00:01:21.437 --> 00:01:21.972 and I 00:01:21.972 --> 00:01:22.643 keep it mellow 00:01:22.643 --> 00:01:23.914 like some cadmium yellow 00:01:23.914 --> 00:01:25.746 I'm a bright like titanium white 00:01:25.746 --> 00:01:26.572 kind of fellow 00:01:26.572 --> 00:01:27.717 don't believe in mistakes 00:01:27.717 --> 00:01:28.848 unless you step to me 00:01:28.848 --> 00:01:30.031 Yo Pablo 00:01:30.031 --> 00:01:31.942 you just got your happy little arse beat