This trailer is rated R for Robocop,
cause that's how you make a [bleep]ing Robocop movie.
It's been more than 20 years since Robocop
appeared on the big screen and now he's back with...
a flip up visor...
different origins...
a human hand?
And a PG-13 rating?!
Screw that!
Instead, revisit the original masterpiece that is...
Robocop!
Journey to a futuristic Detroit that's become
a bankrupt, crime-ridden hell hole!
Basically, present day Detroit.
It's a city crying out for a savior
and they'll get one in Robocop,
a blatant Jesus metaphor who's killed,
gets resurrected, and walks on water!
But instead of dying for our sins,
this Jesus shoots rapists in the dick!
-(gun shot) -(screams in pain)
Meet his gum chewing partner, Louis, a terrible cop
who never waits for back up, runs like a girl,
and can't resist male nudity!
Mind if I...zip this up?
Baaaalls.
Together, they'll take down old Detroit's biggest bad guys,
Clarence Boddicker, a drug lord who's got a real way with the ladies...
Maybe you could, uh, fit me in.
Omni Consumer Products, an evil corporation that does
everything except make consumer products...
and 2O9, a heavily armed killing machine
who loses to a flight of stairs...
and...glass.
(glass shatters repetitively)
(screams)
Robosuit up for the ultimate, awesome 80's movie, full of...
Big hair
Cocaine!
Goons.
Cold War Paranoia...
and a no-nonsense black police captain.
Now get outta my police station and take laughing boy with ya!
So return to a time when action movies were made for adults,
but marketed to children.
Robocop and evil ED 260 face off with rapid repeat cap firing!
Featuring some of film's best one liners...
Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
Your move, creep.
I'd buy that for a dollar!
Bitches, leave.
And the most blood squibs ever!
I guarantee you won't see that in the re-make.
Starring...
Daft Punk
Bruce Jenner
Tough Lady Cop
Old '80s Businessman
Even Older '80s Businessman
Jordan Belfort
That '70s Drug Lord
Fox News
and...Lindsay Lohan.
Leave me...
Robocop!
Robocop is the last movie that needs a freaking remake.
What are they going to do next? Die Hard?
Oh no...I've said too much!
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I am serious and don't call me Shirley!
I am fire, I am...DEATH!
Pizza Delivery for I.C. Weiner.
Has anyone really been far even as decided
to use even go want to do more like?
In a world where potatoes rule the Earth, one carrot will rise!
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