WEBVTT

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This trailer is rated R for <i>Robocop</i>,

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cause that's how you make 
a [bleep]ing <i>Robocop</i> movie.

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It's been more than 20 years since <i>Robocop</i>

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appeared on the big screen and now he's back with...

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a flip up visor...

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different origins...

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a human hand?

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And a PG-13 rating?!

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Screw that!

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Instead, revisit the original masterpiece that is...

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<i>Robocop!</i>

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Journey to a futuristic Detroit that's become

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a bankrupt, crime-ridden hell hole!

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Basically, present day Detroit.

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It's a city crying out for a savior

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and they'll get one in Robocop,

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a blatant Jesus metaphor who's killed,

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gets resurrected, and walks on water!

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But instead of dying for our sins,

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this Jesus shoots rapists in the dick!

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-(gun shot)
-(screams in pain)

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Meet his gum chewing partner,
Louis, a terrible cop

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who never waits for back up, runs like a girl,

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and can't resist male nudity!

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<i>Mind if I...zip this up?</i>

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Baaaalls.

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Together, they'll take down
old Detroit's biggest bad guys,

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Clarence Boddicker, a drug lord 
who's got a real way with the ladies...

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<i>Maybe you could, uh, fit me in.</i>

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Omni Consumer Products, 
an evil corporation that does

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everything except make consumer products...

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and 2O9, a heavily armed killing machine

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who loses to a flight of stairs...

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and...glass.

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(glass shatters repetitively)

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(screams)

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Robosuit up for the ultimate,
awesome 80's movie, full of...

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Big hair

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Cocaine!

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Goons.

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Cold War Paranoia...

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and a no-nonsense black police captain.

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<i>Now get outta my police station
and take laughing boy with ya!</i>

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So return to a time when action 
movies were made for adults,

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but marketed to children.

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<i>Robocop and evil ED 260 face off 
with rapid repeat cap firing!</i>

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Featuring some of film's best one liners...

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<i>Dead or alive, you're coming with me.</i>

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<i>Your move, creep.</i>

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<i>I'd buy that for a dollar!</i>

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<i>Bitches, leave.</i>

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And the most blood squibs ever!

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I guarantee you won't see that in the re-make.

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Starring...

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Daft Punk

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Bruce Jenner

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Tough Lady Cop

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Old '80s Businessman

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Even Older '80s Businessman

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Jordan Belfort

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That '70s Drug Lord

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Fox News

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and...Lindsay Lohan.

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<i>Leave me...</i>

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Robocop!

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Robocop is the last movie
that needs a freaking remake.

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What are they going to do next? <i>Die Hard</i>?

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Oh no...I've said too much!

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Hey, Screen Junkies! For more 
awesome stuff, click here to subscribe!

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I am serious and don't call me Shirley!

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I am fire, I am...DEATH!

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Pizza Delivery for I.C. Weiner.

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Has anyone really been far even as decided

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to use even go want to do more like?

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In a world where potatoes rule 
the Earth, one carrot will rise!

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