This trailer is rated R for <i>Robocop</i>,

cause that's how you make 
a [bleep]ing <i>Robocop</i> movie.

It's been more than 20 years since <i>Robocop</i>

appeared on the big screen and now he's back with...

a flip up visor...

different origins...

a human hand?

And a PG-13 rating?!

Screw that!

Instead, revisit the original masterpiece that is...

<i>Robocop!</i>

Journey to a futuristic Detroit that's become

a bankrupt, crime-ridden hell hole!

Basically, present day Detroit.

It's a city crying out for a savior

and they'll get one in Robocop,

a blatant Jesus metaphor who's killed,

gets resurrected, and walks on water!

But instead of dying for our sins,

this Jesus shoots rapists in the dick!

-(gun shot)
-(screams in pain)

Meet his gum chewing partner,
Louis, a terrible cop

who never waits for back up, runs like a girl,

and can't resist male nudity!

<i>Mind if I...zip this up?</i>

Baaaalls.

Together, they'll take down
old Detroit's biggest bad guys,

Clarence Boddicker, a drug lord 
who's got a real way with the ladies...

<i>Maybe you could, uh, fit me in.</i>

Omni Consumer Products, 
an evil corporation that does

everything except make consumer products...

and 2O9, a heavily armed killing machine

who loses to a flight of stairs...

and...glass.

(glass shatters repetitively)

(screams)

Robosuit up for the ultimate,
awesome 80's movie, full of...

Big hair

Cocaine!

Goons.

Cold War Paranoia...

and a no-nonsense black police captain.

<i>Now get outta my police station
and take laughing boy with ya!</i>

So return to a time when action 
movies were made for adults,

but marketed to children.

<i>Robocop and evil ED 260 face off 
with rapid repeat cap firing!</i>

Featuring some of film's best one liners...

<i>Dead or alive, you're coming with me.</i>

<i>Your move, creep.</i>

<i>I'd buy that for a dollar!</i>

<i>Bitches, leave.</i>

And the most blood squibs ever!

I guarantee you won't see that in the re-make.

Starring...

Daft Punk

Bruce Jenner

Tough Lady Cop

Old '80s Businessman

Even Older '80s Businessman

Jordan Belfort

That '70s Drug Lord

Fox News

and...Lindsay Lohan.

<i>Leave me...</i>

Robocop!

Robocop is the last movie
that needs a freaking remake.

What are they going to do next? <i>Die Hard</i>?

Oh no...I've said too much!

Hey, Screen Junkies! For more 
awesome stuff, click here to subscribe!

I am serious and don't call me Shirley!

I am fire, I am...DEATH!

Pizza Delivery for I.C. Weiner.

Has anyone really been far even as decided

to use even go want to do more like?

In a world where potatoes rule 
the Earth, one carrot will rise!

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