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This trailer is rated R for Robocop,
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cause that's how you make
a [bleep]ing Robocop movie.
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It's been more than 20 years since Robocop
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appeared on the big screen and now he's back with...
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a flip up visor...
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different origins...
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a human hand?
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And a PG-13 rating?!
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Screw that!
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Instead, revisit the original masterpiece that is...
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Robocop!
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Journey to a futuristic Detroit that's become
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a bankrupt, crime-ridden hell hole!
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Basically, present day Detroit.
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It's a city crying out for a savior
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and they'll get one in Robocop,
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a blatant Jesus metaphor who's killed,
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gets resurrected, and walks on water!
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But instead of dying for our sins,
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this Jesus shoots rapists in the dick!
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-(gun shot)
-(screams in pain)
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Meet his gum chewing partner,
Louis, a terrible cop
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who never waits for back up, runs like a girl,
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and can't resist male nudity!
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Mind if I...zip this up?
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Baaaalls.
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Together, they'll take down
old Detroit's biggest bad guys,
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Clarence Boddicker, a drug lord
who's got a real way with the ladies...
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Maybe you could, uh, fit me in.
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Omni Consumer Products,
an evil corporation that does
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everything except make consumer products...
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and 2O9, a heavily armed killing machine
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who loses to a flight of stairs...
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and...glass.
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(glass shatters repetitively)
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(screams)
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Robosuit up for the ultimate,
awesome 80's movie, full of...
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Big hair
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Cocaine!
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Goons.
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Cold War Paranoia...
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and a no-nonsense black police captain.
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Now get outta my police station
and take laughing boy with ya!
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So return to a time when action
movies were made for adults,
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but marketed to children.
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Robocop and evil ED 260 face off
with rapid repeat cap firing!
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Featuring some of film's best one liners...
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Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
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Your move, creep.
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I'd buy that for a dollar!
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Bitches, leave.
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And the most blood squibs ever!
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I guarantee you won't see that in the re-make.
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Starring...
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Daft Punk
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Bruce Jenner
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Tough Lady Cop
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Old '80s Businessman
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Even Older '80s Businessman
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Jordan Belfort
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That '70s Drug Lord
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Fox News
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and...Lindsay Lohan.
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Leave me...
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Robocop!
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Robocop is the last movie
that needs a freaking remake.
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What are they going to do next? Die Hard?
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Oh no...I've said too much!
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Hey, Screen Junkies! For more
awesome stuff, click here to subscribe!
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I am serious and don't call me Shirley!
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I am fire, I am...DEATH!
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Pizza Delivery for I.C. Weiner.
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Has anyone really been far even as decided
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to use even go want to do more like?
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In a world where potatoes rule
the Earth, one carrot will rise!
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