WEBVTT

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Oh, Hi Sarah. 
It's been a long time.

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I guess you've been... busy with... 
Matt Damon.

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I've been busy too.

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I've been thinking about us, and you 
and him and, I'm happy for you. I really am.

00:01:54.258 --> 00:01:58.564
He's a great guy.
I mean he's the sexiest man alive.

00:01:59.147 --> 00:02:01.846
I found somebodye 
pretty sexy too.

00:02:01.975 --> 00:02:04.953
I don't know
if you've heard, but...

00:02:06.976 --> 00:02:08.578
I'm fucking Ben Affleck!


00:02:08.578 --> 00:02:09.854
He's fucking Ben Affleck.

00:02:09.854 --> 00:02:13.196
While you and Matt are swappin' spit.

00:02:13.311 --> 00:02:15.017
I said I'm fucking Ben Affleck!


00:02:15.017 --> 00:02:17.014
He said he's fucking Ben Affleck.

00:02:17.014 --> 00:02:20.314
Hey Sarah, he's got bigger tits.


00:02:20.314 --> 00:02:23.040
They're not hairy though, right?

00:02:23.040 --> 00:02:23.879
No.

00:02:23.879 --> 00:02:28.062
Brad Pitt: 
Excuse me... Is someone here...

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fucking Ben Affleck?

00:02:30.634 --> 00:02:32.165
I am! I'm fucking him!

00:02:32.165 --> 00:02:33.886
Brad Pitt: 
Great. Sign here.

00:02:33.886 --> 00:02:35.583
Thank you.

00:02:39.615 --> 00:02:42.578
[Reads cake] Congratulations
on fucking Ben Affleck.

00:02:42.578 --> 00:02:45.975
Crowd & Ben: 
Ahhhh.

00:02:50.811 --> 00:02:52.924
Brad Pitt: 
What did you wish for?

00:02:55.162 --> 00:02:57.634
When we're together 
there's this feeling inside.

00:02:57.634 --> 00:03:00.832
It's like a million butterflies
flutterin' in my behind.

00:03:00.832 --> 00:03:03.933
I love the dimple in your chin,
I see diamonds in your eyes.

00:03:03.933 --> 00:03:07.175
When I'm fucking you 
Ben Affleck, I feel like I can fly.

00:03:07.175 --> 00:03:10.231
And our fucking won't be stopped
no matter how hard they try.

00:03:10.231 --> 00:03:11.668
They can't stop it.

00:03:11.708 --> 00:03:13.574
They can't stop it.

00:03:16.465 --> 00:03:19.247
Joan Jett: 
You won't tear them apart.

00:03:19.247 --> 00:03:28.585
You can't stop this love affair, 
'cause they love f-u-c-k-i-n-g.

00:03:28.691 --> 00:03:34.498
Robin Williams: This is not a man crush.
He's fucking our friend Ben.

00:03:34.498 --> 00:03:40.555
Don Cheadle: And so we all... 
we all hope Matt will understand.

00:03:40.555 --> 00:03:43.562
He's fucking Ben

00:03:43.562 --> 00:03:46.405
Pete Wentz & Dominic Monaghan: 
Fucking Ben Affleck

00:03:46.405 --> 00:03:51.360
Perry Farrell: Yeah, Jimmy's the one
who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison.

00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:52.908
Just like prison.

00:03:52.908 --> 00:03:59.186
Macy Gray: 
He's fucking Ben. Ben Affleck's his guy.

00:03:59.186 --> 00:04:02.063
Joel Madden and Benji Madden: 
Oh, it's through the fucking night and day.

00:04:02.063 --> 00:04:05.283
Lance Bass:
Just ask Huey!

00:04:05.379 --> 00:04:11.467
Cameron Diaz: Okay, I'll ask him. 
Huey, did you see them fuck at all?

00:04:11.543 --> 00:04:15.981
Huey Luis: Yes, I saw them fuck.
They were in a bathroom stall.

00:04:15.981 --> 00:04:24.426
Josh Groban: Oooohhh ooohhhh oohhh,
he's fucking Ben, fucking Ben Affleck.

00:04:24.426 --> 00:04:29.670
He's fuuuucking Bennnn!


00:04:29.670 --> 00:04:36.427
He's fucking Ben. 
He's fucking Ben Affleck!

00:04:36.427 --> 00:04:42.069
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: Jimmy's the one
who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison!

00:04:42.069 --> 00:04:49.086
Meatloaf & Everyone: He's fucking Ben.
Ben Affleck's his guy!

00:04:49.086 --> 00:04:50.966
Joel Madden and Benji Madden: 
Do the fucking every way.

00:04:50.966 --> 00:04:53.808
Dicky Barrett:
Just ask Don Cheadle!

00:04:53.808 --> 00:04:57.602
Don Cheadle: 
Ooohhhh ooohhh ooohhh, he's fucking Ben.

00:04:57.602 --> 00:04:59.065
He's fucking Ben Affleck!

00:04:59.065 --> 00:05:01.398
[Harrison Ford blows a kiss
to Ben and Jimmy]

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Everyone: Jimmy's the one 
who's fucking Ben Affleck like they're in prison.

00:05:05.141 --> 00:05:06.800
Christina Applegate & Rebecca Romijn:
Just like prison!

00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:13.648
He's fucking Ben! 
Fucking Ben Affleck.

00:05:13.648 --> 00:05:18.979
Jimmy's the one who's fucking Ben Affleck
like they're in prison.

00:05:18.979 --> 00:05:25.885
He's fucking Ben. 
Ben Affleck's his guy!

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Huey Luis & Cameron Diaz: They've been 
making sweet sweet love, Ben and Jimmy!