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<Not Commiting to One Church>

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(Questioner) Hello Sumin, [br]I watch your video.

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I can guess how busy you are every day.

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I have been going to church for [br]over two years after moving to a new area.

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I went with a friend. But this Spring, [br]there was a conflict in the church

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and the church split into two sides.

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And half of the people left and [br]they opened a new church.

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One or two of the members close to me [br]kept on telling me to come visit their church.

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They asked me to come just once but [br]I know that that one time is just the beginning.

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The "attend that church."

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I do not belong to any church and

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now I am satisfied with Happy School and teachings

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and I am learning well.

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If people telling me to come to church I feel bothers me,

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please tell me how can I manage my mind calm.

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The more I learn about Buddha's teachings,

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the more I reflect on myself and become humble.

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And so I love it. [br]I don't want to go to church.

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(Sunim) It's your choice.

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It's okay for you not to go to church.[br]There's absolutely no problem.

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Or you can just choose one of the two churches and go there occasionally,

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or you can go to both churches.

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You don't have to tie down to one church,

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nor do you have to deny both churches.

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You can just be free.

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The more you study Buddhism,

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you also have to open your minds up to other religions like Christianity.

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The same thing with Islam.

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I'm not saying that you have to like it,

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because each religion and [br]tradition has its own unique nature.

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But it's up to you because you're free to choose,

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not because you don't like the other traditions,

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but you're free to choose whatever draws you.

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Basically this is not a problem of your friends

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or your former church goers telling you [br]or asking you to come visit their church.

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It's the problem that you don't want to hear them, that invitation.

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The same thing when you get invited to a party, [br]you want to go, you don't want to go.

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Or your family member asks you to do something you don't want to do,[br]you just don't want, sometimes.

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You resist, you're hesitant because you're always calculating,

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what if I say no, I might lose that relationship, or something.

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It might cause a loss to me.

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But after all, they have the freedom to invite you to their church,

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and you have the freedom to not go.

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So just as your freedom is precious to you, [br]their freedom is precious to them.

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(Questioner) I understand what you're saying.

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I didn't say 'don't tell me come to your church'[br]but I just say, refuse nicely.

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Okay maybe next time, not this moment

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I don't feel like to go right now, maybe future,

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I think about it. [br]I all the time say that.

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I went to church since I immigrate to USA on and off over 25 years.

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If I attend one time they right away welcome me,

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they are kind extremely [br]and then they are looking for

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what would you like to do [br]and then oh, let's study Bible study

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Why don't you join this volunteer [br]Why don't you join like a chorus?

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And they asked me more and more and then [br]see you next Sunday

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and then they asked more and if I just go one time and stop

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to me, it's foolish because I know I'm not going to go.

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So I just don't want to start go to church.

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And the reason the split is too sided is very complicated.

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They are 45 years of one church member but one issue they make split.

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So I'm just tired of what they're doing.

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Yesterday they were like all church member, we're family and brother and sister

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and then after conflict it's become enemy

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I don't want to involve that both church. I don't want to go to church.

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Since I learned the Buddha's teaching, [br]I'm very joyful and find a more peaceful mind.

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Even I attended the church over 20 years, I never had that feeling.

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So I don't want to go there.

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I want to just keep continue learning Buddha's teaching.

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I think that's more fit to me my personality, character and quiet peaceful

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and I just want to stick with this side.

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(Sunim) It's a good thing that studying Buddha's teachings brought you peace in your mind.

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But you have not really truly studied deeply yet

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because you still feel tension from watching the conflict within the Church.

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Conflicts and divisions is a natural phenomenon.

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Now you see two different sects emerging from the same Judeo Christian tradition.

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And from within the Christianity itself

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you see the schism between the Catholicism and Protestantism.

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And within the same Protestantism,[br]you get Presbyterians, you get Baptists,

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Episcopalians, you get all different sects.

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You feel discomfort because [br]you were there at the church when it was one,

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then it split into two

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but somebody else who joined the church after it split

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will not share the same discomfort.

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We have a lot of divorced couples who are raising kids

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who get divorced even after having kids and raising kids by themselves.

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So we see separations and divisions, conflicts everywhere.

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So why is that a special problem?

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It's almost as if you're acting like little kids

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who are seeing their parents divorce and opposing and being resentful

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that the parents are divorcing

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although parents themselves might have a good reason to separate.

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The same thing with North and South Korea.

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Regular ordinary people actually have no reason to suffer the separations

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but the separation does serve a purpose for the ruling elite.

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So if you actually ask the leadership of your church

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whether you want to ask the deacons or actually ask the minister,

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they will have reasons to separate.

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So you feel discomfort over the split of the church

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because you're not a deacon or a minister [br]not because you have this peace in your heart.

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So basically there's no problem here.[br]Whether that church splits or not is their work,

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it's their scope, their decision ,

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whether you go to that split church or not is your decision.

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We have thousands of Korean American churches in the US today

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and all these churches are probably split from each other.

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and even that church that you went to, probably resulted from

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somebody else actually splitting off from another church.

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So basically there's absolutely no problem here.

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Just stick to your own studies.

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Let their problems be their problems.

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(Questioner) One big thing that bothers me,

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the reason split is previously,

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my church belonged to United Methodist in New England area,

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the regulation and policy is the pastor is sent by union,

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but the pastor is a gay pastor.

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So that's why we split. Half member, we don't want to accept the pastor.

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The other half is okay, [br]but to me God loves everybody.

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The gay pastor and straight pastor is all the God's children.

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But in the church members those split,

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that's comedy to me. [br]It's very difficult to me.

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(Sunim) There are plenty of reasons.

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People make huge things out of the littlest thing, in Korean history, actually

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the whole kingdom almost collapsed because of political dissonance

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having to do with the split on how long you should be in mourning,

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how long you should be wearing your shroud to mourn a loved one.

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Whether it's three months, 6 months or 9 months.

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That was a huge political scandal almost brought down the kingdom.

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So discussion or splits or differences of opinion

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over a pastor being gay or not that [br]merits a discussion, or a potential disagreement.

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And this issue actually not just roiling one small church.

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It is actually splitting huge denominations,

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as well as, it's still an issue in American politics today.

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No, I'm not saying that division or schism is a good thing.

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Same thing like parents have a reason to divorce from each other,

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but from a child's perspective, [br]they don't understand why.