0:00:09.948,0:00:11.998 Hello, my name is Vanessa, 0:00:11.998,0:00:14.964 and I am a recovering awkward person. 0:00:15.540,0:00:16.921 (Laughter) 0:00:17.060,0:00:21.480 This is me at the peak of[br]what I like to call my plaid vest phase. 0:00:21.480,0:00:23.202 (Laughter) 0:00:23.202,0:00:25.852 Luckily, my years of social awkwardness 0:00:25.852,0:00:30.713 led me to a fascinating career[br]trying to figure out how people work. 0:00:31.625,0:00:34.067 So, what I didn't realize[br]is that many years ago, 0:00:34.067,0:00:35.296 I would do an experiment 0:00:35.296,0:00:38.576 that led me right on this stage[br]in front of you here today. 0:00:38.765,0:00:43.005 My lab researchers and I[br]were curious about TED Talks. 0:00:43.395,0:00:44.664 We wanted to know, 0:00:44.664,0:00:47.805 Why do some TED Talks go viral [br]and others don't? 0:00:48.297,0:00:50.285 So we embarked on a huge experiment. 0:00:50.285,0:00:54.425 We analyzed thousands of hours [br]of TED Talks, looking for patterns. 0:00:54.591,0:00:56.512 I wasn't sure if we would find anything, 0:00:56.515,0:01:00.699 so we were analyzing body language,[br]hand gestures, vocal variety - 0:01:00.971,0:01:03.140 we even looked at outfit choices, 0:01:03.140,0:01:05.700 which made today [br]particularly pressure-filled. 0:01:06.729,0:01:11.698 And very quickly, there was a pattern[br]in the data that made me curious. 0:01:11.898,0:01:14.498 And after we coded [br]more and more TED Talks, 0:01:14.511,0:01:16.450 we realized there was a pattern. 0:01:16.450,0:01:19.827 Now, before I tell you what that is,[br]I have a personal question for you, 0:01:19.837,0:01:22.478 which is, When you see someone, 0:01:22.485,0:01:25.358 what part of the body[br]do you look at first? 0:01:25.358,0:01:26.557 You can just call it out. 0:01:26.557,0:01:28.812 What do you look at first [br]when you see someone? 0:01:28.962,0:01:31.912 Face, eyes - so most people - 0:01:31.912,0:01:32.916 shoes. 0:01:32.916,0:01:36.097 (Laughter) 0:01:37.095,0:01:39.037 They are very high. 0:01:39.267,0:01:43.977 So most people[br]say eyes, face or mouth. 0:01:44.195,0:01:46.973 But actually, when we first see someone, 0:01:46.973,0:01:49.383 the first place we look is the hands. 0:01:49.718,0:01:51.984 And this is left over [br]from our caveman days. 0:01:51.984,0:01:54.443 Because if we were approached[br]by a stranger caveman, 0:01:54.443,0:01:56.301 the first place we looked was the hands 0:01:56.301,0:01:58.490 to see if they were[br]carrying a rock or a spear. 0:01:58.490,0:02:01.988 We wanted to know if we were safe,[br]if they were friend or foe. 0:02:01.988,0:02:05.247 Now, this actually still remains[br]from caveman days, 0:02:05.292,0:02:07.645 and when we can't see someone's hands, 0:02:07.645,0:02:09.378 something interesting happens. 0:02:09.378,0:02:11.858 So I just did something [br]a little mean to your brain. 0:02:11.858,0:02:15.301 You should start to feel [br]just a little bit uncomfortable. 0:02:16.009,0:02:18.469 The reason for that is [br]when you can't see my hands, 0:02:18.469,0:02:21.709 you wonder, What is she doing back there? 0:02:21.709,0:02:22.925 (Laughter) 0:02:22.925,0:02:25.719 And then, the longer I leave[br]my hands behind my back, 0:02:25.974,0:02:28.790 you get more and more distracted[br]because you can't see them. 0:02:28.790,0:02:30.960 And eventually,[br]your brain is just screaming, 0:02:30.960,0:02:33.721 Can't she just bring her hands off[br]from behind her back? 0:02:34.131,0:02:36.003 And the moment I bring them back out, 0:02:36.971,0:02:38.522 it feels so much better. 0:02:38.522,0:02:41.573 And this because our brain knows[br]that if we can't see hands, 0:02:41.573,0:02:43.073 we can't see intention. 0:02:43.398,0:02:47.160 And we found as we compared[br]the most viewed TED Talks 0:02:47.160,0:02:50.300 side by side with[br]the least viewed TED Talks, 0:02:50.424,0:02:52.702 we found a pattern with hand gestures. 0:02:52.702,0:02:54.480 Specifically, on average, 0:02:54.480,0:03:00.302 the most popular TED talkers[br]use an average of 465 hand gestures 0:03:00.302,0:03:01.712 in 18 minutes. 0:03:02.042,0:03:04.542 Yes, we painstakingly counted[br]every single one. 0:03:04.984,0:03:07.254 I have 465 prepared for you today. 0:03:07.379,0:03:09.562 (Laughter) 0:03:09.562,0:03:15.242 And the least popular TED talkers [br]use an average of 272 hand gestures. 0:03:15.334,0:03:16.924 Almost half. 0:03:17.477,0:03:18.785 What's happening here? 0:03:18.785,0:03:21.212 So when TED speakers take the stage, 0:03:21.217,0:03:23.735 they are showing you first[br]"Friend, friend, friend." 0:03:23.735,0:03:26.306 You'll notice when I walked[br]onto the stage, I waved. 0:03:26.306,0:03:28.634 I was saying, "Friend,[br]friend, friend, friend." 0:03:28.636,0:03:29.658 (Laughter) 0:03:29.658,0:03:31.663 And the other thing that TED speakers do - 0:03:31.663,0:03:33.283 see if this looks familiar. 0:03:33.402,0:03:36.756 So they come onto the red dot,[br]and they do something like this. 0:03:38.718,0:03:42.626 "Today, I want to talk to you[br]about a big idea." 0:03:42.626,0:03:44.200 (Laughter) 0:03:44.200,0:03:46.873 "I am going to break it down [br]into three different areas 0:03:46.873,0:03:49.511 that are going to change your life." 0:03:49.984,0:03:50.994 Right? 0:03:50.994,0:03:52.554 (Applause) 0:03:56.344,0:03:58.307 So the most viral TED talkers 0:03:58.307,0:04:01.012 seemed to sit in the same way[br]with these hand gestures 0:04:01.012,0:04:03.516 because what they are doing is[br]they are showing you, 0:04:03.516,0:04:05.630 "I know my content so well 0:04:05.630,0:04:08.760 that I can speak to you [br]on two different tracks. 0:04:08.760,0:04:10.533 I can speak to you with my words, 0:04:10.533,0:04:14.123 but I can also explain[br]my concepts with my hands." 0:04:14.603,0:04:17.533 And this way, they underline [br]their concepts with their words. 0:04:17.533,0:04:19.429 For example, if I were to say, 0:04:19.549,0:04:23.588 "Today, I have a really big idea." 0:04:23.593,0:04:25.724 (Laughter) 0:04:25.724,0:04:27.140 "It's huge." 0:04:27.143,0:04:28.596 (Laughter) 0:04:28.896,0:04:32.602 You laugh, and you are like, "Vanessa,[br]it's so small, it's not very big," 0:04:33.596,0:04:39.049 and that is because your brain gives[br]12.5 times more weight to hand gestures. 0:04:39.214,0:04:44.556 So today I have a really, really big idea, 0:04:45.476,0:04:48.166 and I am going to explain it [br]to you in three different ways. 0:04:48.296,0:04:52.264 My big idea is that we are contagious. 0:04:52.324,0:04:54.016 Specifically, as humans, 0:04:54.021,0:04:58.416 we are constantly sending[br]and decoding body language signals. 0:04:58.416,0:05:01.492 We also do this emotionally[br]and chemically. 0:05:01.806,0:05:02.926 To explain this, 0:05:02.930,0:05:06.948 I have a rather disgusting[br]but very fascinating study. 0:05:07.727,0:05:11.929 So, in this study,[br]researchers collected sweat pads 0:05:12.259,0:05:14.499 from people who ran on a treadmill. 0:05:14.969,0:05:16.553 Then they collected sweat pads 0:05:16.553,0:05:20.073 from skydivers[br]on their first time skydive. 0:05:20.073,0:05:21.717 Two very different kinds of sweat. 0:05:21.717,0:05:23.054 Here is the disgusting part. 0:05:23.054,0:05:26.300 Then they had poor [br]unsuspecting participants - 0:05:26.300,0:05:27.448 (Laughter) 0:05:27.448,0:05:28.453 I know - 0:05:28.453,0:05:30.847 they had unsuspecting [br]participants in the lab 0:05:30.847,0:05:31.889 (sniffing) 0:05:31.889,0:05:35.899 smell these sweat pads[br]while they were in an fMRI machine. 0:05:36.532,0:05:38.438 Here's where it gets interesting. 0:05:38.505,0:05:42.191 Even though the participants[br]had no idea what they were smelling, 0:05:42.494,0:05:45.690 the ones that smelled [br]the skydiving sweat pads 0:05:46.017,0:05:48.953 had their fear response [br]in their brain activated. 0:05:49.243,0:05:52.438 In other words, they caught the fear. 0:05:53.917,0:05:57.279 This means that [br]our emotions are contagious. 0:05:57.279,0:06:00.489 Our fear is contagious.[br]Our confidence is contagious. 0:06:00.863,0:06:02.863 And this begs the big question: 0:06:03.493,0:06:05.553 If our emotions are contagious, 0:06:05.703,0:06:09.503 how do we make sure that we are[br]infecting people with the right ones? 0:06:10.030,0:06:13.415 So, I believe that we can be[br]contagious in three different ways. 0:06:13.566,0:06:15.274 The first one is non-verbally. 0:06:15.343,0:06:16.624 Now, to test this idea, 0:06:16.624,0:06:19.814 I did a very simple experiment [br]in the streets of Portland, Oregon. 0:06:19.834,0:06:22.209 What I did is I stood in the street, 0:06:22.339,0:06:24.409 and I looked up at nothing. 0:06:25.059,0:06:26.527 And I wanted to see 0:06:26.617,0:06:29.656 if people would catch[br]or mirror my non-verbal. 0:06:30.006,0:06:32.277 So you can see in this video, 0:06:32.277,0:06:35.356 I stand in the streets looking at nothing, 0:06:36.226,0:06:37.885 and slowly one by one ... 0:06:37.885,0:06:39.546 (Laughter) 0:06:39.546,0:06:41.176 I infect people walking by. 0:06:41.176,0:06:42.618 (Laughter) 0:06:43.773,0:06:46.080 (Laughter) 0:06:46.080,0:06:48.070 we begin to gather a crowd. 0:06:48.070,0:06:50.940 (Laughter) 0:06:50.940,0:06:53.607 (Applause) 0:06:42.618,0:06:43.773 And slowly ... 0:06:54.485,0:06:57.454 This poor woman, you know -[br]she was standing there with me, 0:06:57.732,0:07:00.922 and we are standing there,[br]and remember, we're looking at nothing. 0:07:01.347,0:07:05.707 And we are standing, and I am going,[br]How long are we going to stand here? 0:07:06.006,0:07:07.332 Who's going to break first? 0:07:07.332,0:07:09.175 And after about 40 seconds, 0:07:09.637,0:07:12.353 we are looking,[br]and she leans over and says, 0:07:13.032,0:07:14.218 "Is he going to jump?" 0:07:14.323,0:07:17.924 (Laughter) 0:07:18.858,0:07:23.505 And this experience taught me [br]that we catch emotions, 0:07:23.727,0:07:28.558 and then we create rationales[br]for why we've caught that emotion. 0:07:28.711,0:07:30.478 Now, this is actually a good thing. 0:07:30.490,0:07:32.387 As humans, this keeps us safe. 0:07:32.674,0:07:35.864 Dr. Paul Ekman has studied something[br]called the microexpression. 0:07:35.865,0:07:37.646 It's a universal facial expression, 0:07:37.652,0:07:39.739 and he's discovered[br]there are seven of them. 0:07:39.739,0:07:41.368 Across genders and races, 0:07:41.369,0:07:44.907 we all make the same expression[br]when we feel an intense emotion. 0:07:45.200,0:07:47.547 This is the fear microexpression. 0:07:48.286,0:07:50.228 So, fear is a really important emotion 0:07:50.228,0:07:52.591 because we want to catch it[br]from someone else 0:07:52.591,0:07:54.941 to warn us if something[br]is about to go wrong. 0:07:55.222,0:07:58.386 And this facial expression [br]also keeps us safe. 0:07:58.718,0:08:02.077 So imagine for a second[br]that you're walking and you see a snake. 0:08:02.636,0:08:05.518 Your eyelids and your eyebrows[br]jump out of the way 0:08:05.518,0:08:08.281 so you can take in as much [br]of the environment as possible. 0:08:08.281,0:08:10.657 "Is there another snake? [br]What is my escape route?" 0:08:10.657,0:08:13.261 Then your mouth - "huh" - opens 0:08:13.261,0:08:17.287 so you can take in oxygen in case [br]you have to fight, yell for help, or flee. 0:08:17.928,0:08:22.280 We make this face before [br]we consciously realize we've seen a snake. 0:08:23.013,0:08:25.304 Now, what's interesting about it 0:08:25.304,0:08:28.044 is you should be starting[br]to feel a little bit anxious. 0:08:28.044,0:08:30.469 That's because when we[br]see other people have fear - 0:08:30.469,0:08:32.106 If we saw this face in the subway, 0:08:32.109,0:08:34.428 we would be like,[br]What's wrong? What's going on? 0:08:34.428,0:08:36.281 Because it keeps us safe. 0:08:36.281,0:08:37.981 So I want you to try it with me. 0:08:37.981,0:08:39.802 Open your eyes as wide as possible. 0:08:39.802,0:08:41.624 Raise your eyebrows up. Very good. 0:08:41.624,0:08:43.091 Now, take in a short breath. 0:08:43.091,0:08:44.180 (Gasp) 0:08:44.180,0:08:45.204 Perfect. 0:08:45.204,0:08:47.384 Do you feel anxious? 0:08:48.056,0:08:50.277 What's interesting [br]about facial expressions 0:08:50.277,0:08:52.877 is they cause our emotions. 0:08:52.987,0:08:55.354 So not only do our emotions[br]cause our face, 0:08:55.354,0:08:57.714 but our face also causes our emotions. 0:08:57.714,0:08:59.751 It's called the facial[br]feedback hypothesis. 0:08:59.751,0:09:03.328 So when we see someone with this face,[br]we catch their emotion, 0:09:03.448,0:09:06.858 and then we are ready to fight, [br]flee, or yell for help. 0:09:07.378,0:09:10.328 Luckily, this also works[br]with positive emotions. 0:09:10.799,0:09:14.369 So one of the faces behind me[br]is a real happiness microexpression, 0:09:14.369,0:09:15.898 and one of them is fake. 0:09:17.347,0:09:19.654 (Laughter) 0:09:20.735,0:09:25.339 So the real happiness microexpression[br]is when the smile reaches all the way up 0:09:25.339,0:09:28.849 into these upper crow's feet muscles,[br]those upper cheek muscles. 0:09:29.139,0:09:30.470 And this is really important 0:09:30.470,0:09:33.510 because, you know,[br]when you tell a frenemy good news, 0:09:33.510,0:09:34.762 (Laughter) 0:09:34.762,0:09:38.041 and they say they are happy for you,[br]but you know they are not really. 0:09:38.319,0:09:42.154 It looks like this -[br]"Oh yeah, I am so happy for you." 0:09:42.154,0:09:44.311 (Laughter) 0:09:44.311,0:09:46.642 So try the fake expression for me first. 0:09:46.642,0:09:49.762 Just try this fake smile, [br]only on the bottom half of the face. 0:09:49.762,0:09:52.273 You can even go, "Uh, uh." 0:09:52.411,0:09:53.951 It doesn't feel so good, right? 0:09:53.951,0:09:55.041 It feels inauthentic. 0:09:55.041,0:09:56.851 Now, go all the way up into your eyes.[br] 0:09:56.851,0:09:59.431 So smile all the way up [br]to the upper cheek muscles. 0:09:59.581,0:10:01.736 Ah, that one should feel[br]so much better. 0:10:01.884,0:10:04.474 What is interesting[br]about this facial expression 0:10:04.474,0:10:06.734 is it causes our own happiness. 0:10:07.154,0:10:09.873 And we also catch it when we see it. 0:10:09.893,0:10:13.655 Researchers of the University of Finland[br]looked at these two facial expressions. 0:10:13.655,0:10:15.935 They had participants look at photos 0:10:15.935,0:10:18.725 of people with the real happiness [br]and fake happiness. 0:10:18.744,0:10:20.921 They found that[br]when they showed participants 0:10:20.921,0:10:23.311 pictures of the real happiness smile, 0:10:23.631,0:10:25.311 those emotions caught - 0:10:25.311,0:10:27.137 they caught the positive emotions, 0:10:27.137,0:10:29.657 and they themselves[br]had a positive mood change. 0:10:29.983,0:10:33.285 But when they looked at the face [br]with the fake happiness smile, 0:10:33.288,0:10:35.202 they caught nothing. 0:10:35.562,0:10:38.917 In other words, if we show up to events[br]that we are ambivalent about, 0:10:39.339,0:10:41.629 interact with people [br]that we don't really like, 0:10:41.940,0:10:44.212 we become less memorable. 0:10:45.061,0:10:48.521 This doesn't just happen in person,[br]it also happens on the phone. 0:10:48.665,0:10:50.708 So I worked with[br]a lot of different clients, 0:10:50.708,0:10:53.131 corporate clients who are[br]on the phone all the time. 0:10:53.131,0:10:54.223 They said "Vanessa, 0:10:54.223,0:10:56.943 I get being happy in person,[br]but how about on the phone?" 0:10:56.943,0:10:58.646 So we decided to do an experiment. 0:10:58.646,0:11:03.466 We had participants in our lab[br]record different versions of their hello, 0:11:03.746,0:11:05.465 the first impression on the phone. 0:11:05.546,0:11:06.535 We wanted to know 0:11:06.535,0:11:10.945 if people could hear[br]happiness, sadness or anger. 0:11:11.315,0:11:14.132 So we had people record[br]different versions of their hello 0:11:14.132,0:11:18.684 with happiness, sadness, anger[br]and while power posing. 0:11:18.684,0:11:20.936 We wanted to see [br]if they would sound different. 0:11:20.936,0:11:23.731 So I wanna play you[br]two different versions of hello 0:11:23.731,0:11:26.709 and see if you can guess[br]which one is the happy hello. 0:11:26.709,0:11:27.913 Are you ready? Alright. 0:11:27.913,0:11:29.483 Same person. Here is a). 0:11:30.395,0:11:31.775 (Sound recording) Hello. 0:11:32.232,0:11:33.212 Here is b). 0:11:33.707,0:11:34.927 (Sound recording) Hello. 0:11:35.543,0:11:37.662 How many people[br]think a) is the happy hello? 0:11:37.662,0:11:39.545 How many think b) is the happy hello? 0:11:39.646,0:11:40.672 Very good. 0:11:40.765,0:11:43.277 We can hear this difference. [br] 0:11:43.281,0:11:45.333 We can hear this microexpression. 0:11:45.333,0:11:48.942 Now, I thought this was interesting,[br]but I wanted to take it a step further. 0:11:48.955,0:11:51.087 So we devised a second part[br]of our experiment 0:11:51.091,0:11:55.283 where we had participants in our lab[br]listen to these recordings 0:11:55.283,0:11:57.947 and rate that person on likeability. 0:11:58.896,0:12:00.010 We wanted to see 0:12:00.010,0:12:02.870 if the happiness microexpressions[br]or the anger microexpressions 0:12:02.870,0:12:05.065 or the power posing expression did better. 0:12:05.346,0:12:06.372 Here's what happened. 0:12:06.393,0:12:08.023 After we asked people, 0:12:08.637,0:12:10.639 "I do like this person a lot," 0:12:10.902,0:12:14.007 "I like this person a little,"[br]or "I do not like this person," 0:12:14.176,0:12:16.229 we found that the[br]happiness microexpressions 0:12:16.229,0:12:18.699 across all trials for both men and women, 0:12:18.869,0:12:20.959 they became more likeable. 0:12:21.327,0:12:25.639 Whereas the same persons who baited[br]the anger or sadness microexpression 0:12:25.639,0:12:27.119 were less likeable. 0:12:27.779,0:12:32.302 This is the happy side effect [br]of having your confidence be contagious. 0:12:32.531,0:12:35.542 Not only do you infect someone else[br]with that happiness, 0:12:35.542,0:12:37.992 you also become more likeable. 0:12:38.456,0:12:39.791 We talked about non verbal, 0:12:39.792,0:12:42.578 and I have to talk about[br]what comes after the hello. 0:12:42.671,0:12:45.731 How do we infect confidence verbally? 0:12:46.394,0:12:48.727 So in this study[br]we did in Portland, Oregon, 0:12:48.727,0:12:51.437 we took 500 Speed-Networkers, 0:12:51.774,0:12:53.817 and we asked each[br]of these Speed-Networkers 0:12:53.817,0:12:56.297 to go through a[br]conversation starter round - 0:12:56.297,0:12:57.597 eight of these rounds. 0:12:57.751,0:12:59.983 So we assigned each participant [br] 0:12:59.983,0:13:02.213 a conversation starter[br]to have with a stranger. 0:13:02.483,0:13:05.629 Then we set up cameras[br]in all corners of the room, 0:13:05.629,0:13:09.299 and we analyzed each[br]of these speed rounds for patterns. 0:13:09.461,0:13:11.801 We were looking[br]for body language patterns: 0:13:11.931,0:13:14.971 leans, nods, laughs, [br]smiles, confidence. 0:13:15.033,0:13:17.623 We were also looking [br]for volume differences. 0:13:17.730,0:13:20.870 In a really good conversation, [br]usually the volume goes up. 0:13:20.874,0:13:22.688 In a really awkward bad conversation, 0:13:22.688,0:13:24.988 there are lots of silences,[br]the volume goes down. 0:13:25.186,0:13:29.846 And we also asked each of the participants[br]to rate the conversation starters. 0:13:30.107,0:13:34.406 We wanted to know which ones produced[br]the highest quality of conversation. 0:13:35.382,0:13:39.069 What we found was that[br]the conversation starters that worked 0:13:39.455,0:13:42.255 centered on this little chemical[br]called dopamine. 0:13:42.613,0:13:46.641 So dopamine is the neurotransmitter [br]that we produce when we feel pleasure 0:13:46.642,0:13:48.542 or when we get a reward. 0:13:48.706,0:13:50.991 And I noticed that most of our chit-chat[br] 0:13:50.991,0:13:53.821 that we have at parties[br]or networking events is the same. 0:13:53.857,0:13:55.087 It sounds like this. 0:13:55.920,0:13:57.890 "So, what do you do?"[br] 0:13:59.197,0:14:00.747 "Where are you from?" 0:14:01.195,0:14:02.905 "Live around here? Huh?" 0:14:03.101,0:14:05.116 "Well, I am going to go get[br]some more wine. 0:14:05.116,0:14:06.631 It was great talking to you." 0:14:07.528,0:14:10.578 Those conversations happened[br]over and over again. 0:14:10.662,0:14:13.362 It was almost as if [br]they were socially scripted. 0:14:13.826,0:14:15.666 My brain was on autopilot. 0:14:15.742,0:14:16.747 What we found was 0:14:16.747,0:14:18.972 is that the worst ranked[br]conversation starters, 0:14:18.979,0:14:20.939 the ones that got the lowest ratings, 0:14:20.949,0:14:23.019 the ones that produced the lowest volume,[br] 0:14:23.036,0:14:27.786 the ones that got the most leans away, [br]worst head nods, worst microexpressions, 0:14:28.074,0:14:30.514 those were the ones that we use the most. 0:14:30.993,0:14:32.795 "What do you do?"[br]"How are you?" 0:14:32.795,0:14:34.095 "Where are you from?" 0:14:34.095,0:14:37.345 from a physiological perspective, [br]have no effect. 0:14:37.636,0:14:38.766 No pleasure. 0:14:39.358,0:14:42.117 So what we tried was to find[br]conversation starters 0:14:42.117,0:14:45.711 that could spark or create[br]some kind of excitement. 0:14:45.918,0:14:48.618 Can you verbally trigger dopamine? 0:14:48.990,0:14:51.296 We found that the brain[br]is really interesting. 0:14:51.614,0:14:55.503 If you ask somebody a question,[br]it tends to look for hits and not misses. 0:14:55.693,0:14:57.749 What I mean by this[br]is if you ask someone 0:14:58.110,0:14:59.404 "Been busy lately?" 0:15:00.071,0:15:03.027 their brain immediately looks [br]for all the hits of "been busy." 0:15:03.027,0:15:05.503 They think about negative things[br]that have happened - 0:15:05.503,0:15:08.607 the stress, the busyness, [br]all the bad things in their life. 0:15:08.767,0:15:12.051 Whereas if you ask someone,[br]"Working on any exciting recently?" 0:15:12.727,0:15:16.517 their brain immediately begins to look[br]for all the hits of "excitement." 0:15:16.965,0:15:19.464 It starts to think about [br]the good and happy things, 0:15:19.464,0:15:21.974 all the excitement[br]that's going on in their own life. 0:15:21.974,0:15:23.466 And that does two things. 0:15:23.466,0:15:26.041 One, it creates pleasure for them. 0:15:26.436,0:15:27.863 You are literally asking them 0:15:27.863,0:15:30.684 to borrow excitement [br]from other places in their life 0:15:30.684,0:15:32.824 and bring it to the situation[br]that you're in. 0:15:33.202,0:15:36.332 And the other thing that it does[br]is it makes you more memorable. 0:15:36.612,0:15:39.025 Dr. John Medina found that dopamine, 0:15:39.025,0:15:41.139 when it's triggered[br]in a verbal conversation, 0:15:41.139,0:15:43.199 makes a mental post-it note. 0:15:43.645,0:15:47.810 In other words, when you ask someone else[br]to think of what's exciting in their life, 0:15:47.976,0:15:51.669 the happy side effect[br]is that you become more memorable. 0:15:52.177,0:15:54.345 So here's my big challenge for today. 0:15:55.223,0:15:58.093 Instead of using the typical 0:15:58.093,0:15:59.195 "What do you do?" 0:15:59.195,0:16:01.109 "How are you?" and "Where are you from?" 0:16:01.111,0:16:04.114 let's banish those [br]conversation starters forever, 0:16:04.114,0:16:08.262 and let's try ones that ask the brain[br]to look for hits of excitement. 0:16:08.732,0:16:11.922 Try "Working on anything[br]exciting these days?" 0:16:11.922,0:16:13.718 "Have any vacations coming up?" 0:16:13.796,0:16:15.802 "Anything good happen today?" 0:16:15.909,0:16:20.612 I think this is the greatest gift[br]we can give our fellow human beings. 0:16:20.685,0:16:23.825 We are asking them to flip into optimism. 0:16:24.121,0:16:28.731 We are triggering dopamine and excitement[br]and getting them off autopilot. 0:16:29.662,0:16:32.841 The last way that we[br]are contagious is emotionally. 0:16:33.234,0:16:35.619 So, this study is one of my favorites. 0:16:35.901,0:16:39.682 In this experiment, they asked[br]students to sing the song 0:16:39.702,0:16:41.372 "Don't Stop Believing" 0:16:41.722,0:16:43.505 into an accuracy software. 0:16:43.505,0:16:45.509 Now, this a very nerve-racking experiment. 0:16:45.509,0:16:48.538 They are rated on vocal tone, words,[br] 0:16:48.538,0:16:50.288 and they are given no preparation. 0:16:50.288,0:16:52.871 But they did three different trials[br]of this experiment. 0:16:52.871,0:16:55.204 First, they had them[br]just walk into the room 0:16:55.204,0:16:57.144 and sing into an accuracy software. 0:16:57.174,0:17:00.752 The second group got into the room[br]and had to say out loud, 0:17:01.052,0:17:02.382 "I'm nervous." 0:17:02.572,0:17:05.050 And the last group had to walk[br]into the room and say, 0:17:05.070,0:17:06.740 "I'm excited." 0:17:07.260,0:17:10.341 They found with this simple reframe 0:17:10.974,0:17:13.665 the nervous group got 53% accuracy, 0:17:14.025,0:17:15.918 the control group got 69%, 0:17:15.918,0:17:20.486 but the "I'm excited" group [br]got 80% accuracy. 0:17:21.089,0:17:22.086 Why? 0:17:22.086,0:17:25.685 Anxiety and excitement [br]are very similar emotions. 0:17:25.855,0:17:28.005 The only difference is mindset. 0:17:28.966,0:17:30.701 So my challenge for you today 0:17:30.703,0:17:33.785 is to think about[br]how you want to infect people. 0:17:34.350,0:17:37.638 When you want harness incitement[br]or trigger excitement: 0:17:37.638,0:17:40.541 ask dopamine-worthy conversation starters; 0:17:40.541,0:17:42.324 use more hand gestures; 0:17:42.324,0:17:43.966 make authentic smiles; 0:17:43.966,0:17:46.476 and never pick up the phone in a bad mood. 0:17:46.476,0:17:47.903 (Laughter) 0:17:47.903,0:17:51.382 And the last thing I want to do[br]is I want to end on a note of excitement. 0:17:51.382,0:17:53.359 I want to make you really infectious. 0:17:53.359,0:17:55.367 So what we are going to do[br]to end this talk 0:17:55.367,0:17:58.279 is on the count of three,[br]with all the energy you can muster, 0:17:58.279,0:18:01.169 I want you to yell out "I'm excited." 0:18:01.261,0:18:02.321 Are you ready? 0:18:02.401,0:18:03.990 One, two, three! 0:18:04.050,0:18:06.596 "I'm excited." 0:18:06.596,0:18:07.841 You rocked it. 0:18:07.841,0:18:11.751 (Applause)