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Potječem iz okruženja
u kojem nikad nisam vidio

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nijednog muškog člana
svoje obitelji kako plače.

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Počeo sam preispitivati tu nesposobnost
izražavanja bilo koje emocionalnosti.

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Ona ne dopušta slabost ni ranjivost.

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Umjetnost je za mene postala put,

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način na koji se mogu
suočiti s tom ranjivošću,

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pokazati je i podijeliti
sa svojom izravnom publikom.

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Shaun Leonardo: Sloboda pokreta

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-Branič se izvukao i prosljeđuje loptu
koju je umalo oteo Shaun Leonardo.

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Gotovo više od deset godina
igrao sam američki nogomet.

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Moj cjelokupni rad
potječe od tog iskustva,

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tog dvojnog identiteta
umjetnika i sportaša.

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Kao da je to bilo jučer, i dalje se sjećam
voljenog i rado prisjećanog trenera

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kako mi je, da bi
kod mene pobudio bijes, rekao:

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„Želim da igraš kao da si
upravo pušten iz zatvora.”

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Kao mlad čovjek,
tad sam imao 21 godinu,

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ne raspolažete alatima
za zdravo nošenje s time.

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I što se dogodilo?

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Upalilo je.

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Doista je pobudio bijes
koji je želio pobuditi.

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-Leonardo ga gura
prema unutra i zaustavlja.

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-Sjajna Leonardova igra
kojom spašava utakmicu.

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Sada imam 40 godina
i još razmišljam o tom trenutku.

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Kada ste obilježeni svojom različitošću,

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bojom svoje kože,
doživljenim identitetom

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postajete hipervidljiva meta.

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No u toj hipervidljivosti
postajete nevidljivi

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jer ljudi ne vide tko ste.

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-Jeste li spremni?! -Da!

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Nakon koledža,

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dakle, nakon moje karijere
u američkom nogometu

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nastupio sam maskiran u meksičkog hrvača

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koji se bori
protiv nevidljivog protivnika.

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[ZVONO ZA POČETAK BORBE]

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[GLEDATELJI NAVIJAJU]

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["El Conquistador
vs. Nevidljivi čovjek", 2006.]

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U svakom je meču bilo važno

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da publici ostane Shaun Leonardo.

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Dakle, da su liku skinuti svi slojevi

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i da vam je ostala osoba
koja je osjećala potrebu

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da prođe kroz tu borbu
kako bi vidjela samu sebe.

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Možete li zamisliti,
ispred mene nema nikoga.

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Čak i nešto malo poput udarca,

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možete predstaviti na ovaj način.

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Ili, ako ste u publici,
što će vam biti prepoznatljivo?

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Morate ga dramatizirati
na način da ga možete predvidjeti

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i da možete predvidjeti
kako se dalje razvija.

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Nudio sam spektakl nasilja

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i taj identitet
hipermuževnosti i agresivnosti

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koji se tako često očekuje
od afroameričkog tijela.

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I tu ideju da se tijela Afroamerikanaca
i Južnoamerikanaca kreću kroz svijet

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i služe kao odraz bjelačkih projekcija.

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[GLEDATELJI NAVIJAJU]

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-Jedan! Dva! Tri!

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[GLEDATELJI NAVIJAJU]

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[Auto-portret, 2010.]

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A zatim sam otkrivao, učio
i nalazio načine da tu sliku iskrivim

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kako bih prikazao
i duboko osjetio cjelovitije „ja”

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koje nije dio
tih projekcija ili stereotipa.

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To je moja misija.

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To je jedino što svijetu želim pružiti.

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