[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.67,0:00:17.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All right, OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.98,0:00:19.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.44,0:00:23.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My subject is a little bit \Nmore challenging to introduce.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.92,0:00:25.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been doing radio interviews lately
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.78,0:00:29.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and noticing the interviewer will spend\Nthe first 40% of the interview
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.95,0:00:32.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,preparing the listening audience\Nfor me to come on.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.95,0:00:35.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'll say things\Nlike, "Ladies and gentlemen,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.66,0:00:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the author of 'Slow sex,'\Nthe art and practice of..."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.76,0:00:40.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- hmm -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.83,0:00:42.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nicole Daedone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.45,0:00:43.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I figured we're TED people.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.96,0:00:45.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're fast, we're savvy, we're smart,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.85,0:00:48.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I'm just going to break the ice first:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.22,0:00:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my topic is female orgasm.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.44,0:00:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.92,0:00:56.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.33,0:00:57.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.19,0:00:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that said,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.75,0:01:02.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to thank the people of TEDx\Nfor having me on this stage.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.89,0:01:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This has been a dream of mine\Nthat I thought was absolutely impossible;
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.70,0:01:07.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we could have
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.93,0:01:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a relevant, intelligent conversation\Nabout female orgasm
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.22,0:01:14.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was just a distant dream for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.04,0:01:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just fell in love with this practice.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.96,0:01:17.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what happened for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.45,0:01:19.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I gave nearly 10,000 hours\Nto this practice.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.80,0:01:21.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a lot of hours.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.31,0:01:22.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.39,0:01:23.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.83,0:01:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I learned some key things\Nin that time that I am bringing to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.96,0:01:34.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first is that female orgasm is vital\Nfor every single woman on the planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.18,0:01:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second is:\Nis not so bad for the guys either.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.54,0:01:39.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.43,0:01:42.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The third, and on\Na much more serious note,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.59,0:01:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that it roots\Nour fundamental capacity for connection.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.86,0:01:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's for this reason that I believe
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.28,0:01:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that at some point, you will hear
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.81,0:01:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yoga, meditation, and orgasm.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.86,0:02:00.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you won't hear it
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.37,0:02:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yoga, meditation, and (whispering) orgasm.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.83,0:02:10.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 2004, I founded "One Taste"\Nurban retreat centers with this in mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.44,0:02:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"One taste" comes from\Nthe Buddhist expression,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.75,0:02:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Just as the ocean has \None taste, the taste of salt,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.60,0:02:20.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so does the taste of liberation,\Nthe taste of truth."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.34,0:02:24.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt like I had tasted a truth\Nthat was so undeniable
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.04,0:02:25.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had to bring it to the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.85,0:02:27.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was absolutely clear on this.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.82,0:02:30.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mind you, not everyone was.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.55,0:02:38.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had lectures, we had courses,\Nwe had what every orgasm study needs;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.75,0:02:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we had a residence.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.82,0:02:43.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was insane by pretty much\Nanyone's standards,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.48,0:02:46.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we had the lack\Nof clientele to prove it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.10,0:02:49.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My business partner has\Njournal entries that say things
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.44,0:02:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like, "Two people showed up\Nto the business this week.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.02,0:02:58.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first was the postman,\Nthe second was a wrong address."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.61,0:03:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Crickets.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.13,0:03:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I began to question whether or not
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.28,0:03:07.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this brilliant, life-altering notion\Nthat I had was actually right.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.43,0:03:09.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I began to give up.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.86,0:03:15.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until all of a sudden, in some odd storm,\Nthe New York Times discovered us.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.59,0:03:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when that happened,\Npeople began to flood into our doors;
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.20,0:03:22.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,person after person after person.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.69,0:03:26.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fundamentally, each person\Nwas saying the same thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.34,0:03:30.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were saying\Nsome version of "I'm hungry.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.92,0:03:35.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's this annoying sense of hunger\Nthat I can't quite reach.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.23,0:03:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how to touch it."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.73,0:03:40.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I was very clear,\Nand I would say to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.55,0:03:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh! Orgasm."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.70,0:03:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they would say, "What?"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.54,0:03:46.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would say, "Orgasm."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.64,0:03:48.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they would say, "Huh?"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.49,0:03:51.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because at the time, what happened
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.24,0:03:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was they were hearing the toxic mimic\Nof what I was talking about;
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.74,0:03:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that was the only thing\Nthat had ever been given to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.86,0:04:02.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were hearing this exaggerated version
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.72,0:04:06.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you imagine sex toys and boas,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.52,0:04:11.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, the other version, where you have\Nto call your genitals weird things,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.06,0:04:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and use different\Nspiritual names and stuff,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.46,0:04:19.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but nobody was actually just imagining\Nplaying good, clean, everyday orgasm
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.50,0:04:21.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as I was talking about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.27,0:04:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was for this reason
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.86,0:04:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people were coming to me\Nsaying things
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.53,0:04:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like, "I've been married\Nto my partner for 28 years,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.19,0:04:30.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we haven't touched for 18."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.35,0:04:34.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or women were coming to me\Nsaying, "I just roll over at night,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.51,0:04:37.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I hope he doesn't touch me\Nbecause I don't want to fake it again."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.93,0:04:39.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or men were saying,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.36,0:04:42.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want to do everything to please her,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.89,0:04:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I cannot figure it out."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.31,0:04:51.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or, more commonly, woman after woman\Nwas coming through my office,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.21,0:04:56.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they were chanting what I call,\N"The Western woman's mantra,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.66,0:05:02.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I work too hard, I eat too much,\NI diet too much, I drink too much,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.24,0:05:04.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I shop too much, I give too much.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.51,0:05:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And still, there's this sense\Nof hunger that I can't touch."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.62,0:05:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, when I first discovered this thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.47,0:05:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this thing that's called\Norgasmic meditation, this practice,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.12,0:05:23.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was fairly smart, I was fairly savvy,\Nit wasn't like I grew up in a convent,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.29,0:05:27.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a great sex life,\NI had all the climax I could ever want;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.58,0:05:33.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still, I had never\Nexperienced anything like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.59,0:05:36.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It happened like this: I went to a party
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.81,0:05:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.80,0:05:46.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- orgasm is compelling enough\Nfor me to unveil myself -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.97,0:05:51.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to this party, and I met this guy;\Nwhich sounds typical.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.32,0:05:54.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This wasn't a typical guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.06,0:05:57.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "I'd like to introduce you ..."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.16,0:06:00.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh! You could use\Nthis line if you want! -
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.16,0:06:02.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.24,0:06:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'd like to introduce you\Nto this sexuality practice."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.89,0:06:07.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Huh?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.38,0:06:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "I'd like to introduce you\Nto this sexuality practice."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.82,0:06:12.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.57,0:06:15.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"OK, you are going to take off your pants,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.54,0:06:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I am going to leave my clothes on.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.12,0:06:24.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, you're going to lie down,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.15,0:06:28.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I am going to put all of my attention\Non you for 15 minutes."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.30,0:06:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"OK."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.03,0:06:32.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And then, at the end of it,\Nyou're free to go."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.70,0:06:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.21,0:06:44.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am a good woman,\Nand I have the defenses of every woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.09,0:06:48.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know how to say no, but somehow,\NI found myself lying there,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.69,0:06:52.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with my legs butterflied-open.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.88,0:06:56.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that you can know what the practice is,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.97,0:06:59.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that you can go home\Ntonight and try it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.40,0:07:01.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll describe what he did.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.08,0:07:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was lying there,\Nmy legs were butterflied-open,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.73,0:07:07.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he did what you would\Nalways expect in a sexual act;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.01,0:07:11.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he took a light and shown it down there.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.61,0:07:17.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, he began \Nto describe what he saw.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.65,0:07:21.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "You're outer labia are coral.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.62,0:07:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm noticing that the your inner labia\Nhave this red tone to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.34,0:07:27.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they're swelling as I look at them."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.57,0:07:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I couldn't hear anything after that\Nbecause the tears just started flooding;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.25,0:07:35.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something began to thone me.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.92,0:07:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have never been looked at\Nor felt that kind of compassion
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.18,0:07:45.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in that area before.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.98,0:07:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then, he sat next to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.96,0:07:53.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he put his right thumb\Nat the base of my introitus,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.100,0:07:57.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is the area that you would enter\Nwere you to have intercourse.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.58,0:08:08.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he put it on the upper left hand\Nquadrant of my clitoris.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.95,0:08:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he took his finger\Nand stuck it in lubrication.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.64,0:08:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he pulled his finger up,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.17,0:08:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The upper left hand quadrant\Nof my clitoris would be,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.46,0:08:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I'm facing you, the one o'clock\Nposition with my clitoris, a clock.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.48,0:08:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He stroked up down,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.14,0:08:27.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,up down, up down, up down
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.71,0:08:33.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no firmer than you would stroke\Nyour eye lid, that tender tissue there.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.48,0:08:35.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, it was great!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.42,0:08:37.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because nothing happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.65,0:08:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Absolutely nothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.60,0:08:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was where I always am or was\Nwhen I was in any kind of sexuality act.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.21,0:08:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in my head.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.82,0:08:47.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was thinking about\Nwhether or not I looked good,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.48,0:08:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was thinking about whether or not\NI was doing this thing right,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.58,0:08:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was thinking whether or not\Nthis guy was kind of creepy,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.37,0:08:55.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether or not I was marry him;
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.12,0:09:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was thinking about whether or not\Nmy stomach looked a little poochy,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.09,0:09:02.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, all of a sudden,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.51,0:09:08.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the traffic jam that was\Nin my mind broke open.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.98,0:09:11.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was like I was on the open road,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.70,0:09:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there was not a thought in sight,\Nand there was only pure feeling.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.40,0:09:23.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the first time in my life\NI felt like I had access to that hunger
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.93,0:09:27.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was underneath\Nall of my other hungers,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.81,0:09:32.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is a fundamental hunger\Nto connect with another human being.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.29,0:09:35.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was enough,\Nand in that moment, I thought,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.49,0:09:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, my God! This is\Nwhat it's supposed to be like."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.11,0:09:43.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I had a moment of thinking,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.20,0:09:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want to know\Nhow to live here in this place."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.63,0:09:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I thought,\Nin my philanthropic way,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.38,0:09:52.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I want everyone else\Nto know how to live here.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.15,0:09:54.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then that window closed.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.00,0:09:58.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I sat about learning\Nhow to live there,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.68,0:10:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I began studying\Nin weird behind-the-scenes places,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.12,0:10:05.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I cobbled together this practice
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.98,0:10:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that could in a repeatable way\Nget thousands of people
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.04,0:10:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have come through our doors\Nback to this place.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.92,0:10:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The amazing thing isn't just\Nthat you can hit that place,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.92,0:10:22.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that you can hit it\Nwith another human being.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.24,0:10:27.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't like anything, I really, really\Ndon't like anything woo woo
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.15,0:10:30.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I'm going to describe it in\Nthe simplest way I can possibly think.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.73,0:10:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both people are putting\Ntheir attention on the same point;
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.62,0:10:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- it's a fairly intense point, mind you -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.92,0:10:39.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are putting their attention\Non this intense point,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.72,0:10:45.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, just like a master chess player\Nwould get absorbed in a chess game,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.70,0:10:50.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or perhaps an Olympic athlete\Nwould get absorbed in his practice,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.17,0:10:53.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a breathing mediator\Nwould get absorbed,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.08,0:10:55.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you get absorbed into that place.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.35,0:11:00.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only difference is that you get \Nto be absorbed there with your partner,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.01,0:11:03.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you get to have this most profound \Nand deep experience
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.15,0:11:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with another human being.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.52,0:11:12.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, mind you, I've met\Nwith some skepticism;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.43,0:11:15.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people have called\Nmy life's practice diddling.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.31,0:11:18.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.09,0:11:21.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They've called it mutual masturbation,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.80,0:11:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the challenge\Nis that I can't get mad at them
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.64,0:11:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I too am a skeptic;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.10,0:11:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was an academic,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.21,0:11:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I prided myself on my ability to say no,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.56,0:11:32.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I prided myself on my critical thinking.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.54,0:11:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no way you ever, ever, ever\Ncould have convinced me to try this thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.57,0:11:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What happened was I tried it,\Nand that convinced me
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.54,0:11:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that's what I say to people\Nwhen they come into my office.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.87,0:11:46.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say,"'Just try it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.84,0:11:50.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really, the worst thing you have to lose\Nis 15 minutes of your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.71,0:11:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The best thing you have to lose\Nis that sense of hopelessness
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.75,0:11:59.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you will ever be\Nreached deep inside."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.93,0:12:04.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I sat about this journey,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.94,0:12:07.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I can tell you\Nthat there was a moment
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.54,0:12:10.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I received a stroke\Nthat could never be taken back.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.91,0:12:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a stroke where I knew\NI had been returned to my birth right
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.46,0:12:19.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of my capacity to perceive\Nand receive pleasure.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.09,0:12:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is often a complete shock\Nto women when they come in,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.68,0:12:26.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I say, "Just try orgasm."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.38,0:12:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mind you, that's not that much of a shock\Nto the pharmaceutical companies;
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.98,0:12:33.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they've been spending the past 10 years\Ncreating the next female Viagra.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.71,0:12:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the DSM-5, they've proposed
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.13,0:12:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hypoactive sexual desire disorder.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.12,0:12:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think that it is\Nhypoactive sexual desire disorder,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.79,0:12:55.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I do think we have a pleasure\Ndeficit disorder in this country,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.37,0:12:57.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I don't think that is medical.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.89,0:12:59.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it's a cultural issue.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.70,0:13:03.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do think though that there is a cure,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.61,0:13:05.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that cure is orgasm,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.32,0:13:10.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's going to be a very different\Ndefinition of orgasm than we know.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.36,0:13:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is not going to be\Nthat fleeting moment of climax
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.02,0:13:18.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that seems to take\Nthe whole rest of the act hostage,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.01,0:13:22.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's going to be a definition of orgasm\Nthat actually works with the woman's body
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.69,0:13:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that rather than trying\Nto stuff a woman's body
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.80,0:13:29.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into an ill-fitting definition,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.56,0:13:33.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have the definition work\Nwith what the woman's body does.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.100,0:13:36.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the amazing thing is\Nthat when you have this,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.96,0:13:43.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this whole notion of frigidity\Nor a woman being anorgasmic
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.67,0:13:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,flies out the window.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.01,0:13:50.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what it's replaced with\Nis an entire lifetime journey
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.73,0:13:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of discovering who you are\Nand how your particular orgasm works.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.77,0:14:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.35,0:14:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That said,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.92,0:14:11.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Dalai Lama has said
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.70,0:14:17.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it will be a Western woman\Nwho changes the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.00,0:14:20.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And mind you, I don't know\Nif you know about this,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:20.36,0:14:23.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's actually\Na fairly controversial statement
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.04,0:14:27.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it presumes\Nthat Western women are above other women
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.05,0:14:30.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in terms of changing the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.67,0:14:33.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually have\Na totally different issue with it:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.83,0:14:40.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that it will be\Nturned-on women around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.44,0:14:42.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'll change the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.04,0:14:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it will be turned-on women\Nand those who dare to stroke us
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.46,0:14:53.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'll actually change the world
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.50,0:14:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by feeding this desire\Nfor connection that we all have.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.76,0:14:59.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.86,0:15:01.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)