0:00:00.000,0:00:02.390 My name's Willam. [br]I'm a successful drag queen, 0:00:02.395,0:00:06.503 and not some bitch who has[br]to show for a dollar. 0:00:06.503,0:00:09.492 Now no one else can have it. 0:00:09.492,0:00:11.925 I'm an ego-maniac. Everybody[br]knows that. 0:00:11.925,0:00:13.373 I'm a power-bottom like that. 0:00:13.373,0:00:15.979 I'm a trouble maker and [br]a sh*t stirrer. 0:00:15.979,0:00:17.770 Me? You must have a television 0:00:17.770,0:00:19.428 I got my ass kicked on every major [br]network. 0:00:19.428,0:00:24.353 I've always been an actor on TV. [br]I was on Boston Public with you. 0:00:24.353,0:00:26.354 I was best friends with Candis Cayne[br]when she died. 0:00:26.354,0:00:29.665 I died on Nip Tuck, CSI New York, Women's[br]Murder Club. If you 0:00:29.665,0:00:32.570 name a cop show in the last 10 years[br]I've probably been on it. 0:00:32.570,0:00:35.558 It's right on my head shots, right [br]in there. Just on the way out, so...[br](mouth click) 0:00:35.558,0:00:38.917 -Willam, you're funny.[br]-Thank you. Hire me. 0:00:38.917,0:00:40.976 I brought 34 pairs of shoes. 0:00:40.976,0:00:42.921 I'm just going to have a good[br]rapport with my shoes. 0:00:42.921,0:00:45.449 Breaking out the Westwood. 0:00:45.449,0:00:46.631 This is the Westwood. 0:00:46.631,0:00:47.870 This is Mackie, too. 0:00:47.870,0:00:50.158 I'm wearing Alexander McQueen, [br]thank you. 0:00:50.158,0:00:51.396 Patricia Fields. 0:00:51.396,0:00:52.245 They're Versace. 0:00:52.245,0:00:53.682 I'm going to Macy's. 0:00:53.682,0:00:54.878 Tramp stamp! 0:00:54.878,0:00:57.235 My look is "god, I want to go[br]to Miami, 0:00:57.235,0:00:59.265 but I can only afford Ft. Lauderdale." 0:00:59.265,0:01:01.266 Ass ass, tittys, hair hair, [br]gas mask. 0:01:01.266,0:01:04.818 My theme was "Clash of the Titans"[br]if "Clash of the Titans" 0:01:04.818,0:01:06.418 was set in a strip club. 0:01:06.418,0:01:09.273 Is anybody shocked that I won [br]a slut contest? 0:01:09.273,0:01:12.261 He knocked on my door, and[br]it was a delivery. 0:01:12.261,0:01:14.659 Whores get paid. I was a slut. 0:01:14.659,0:01:17.522 The hardest part about this [br]challenge is not telling 0:01:17.522,0:01:18.645 everybody else that I'm [br]going to win. 0:01:18.645,0:01:20.074 I'm going to learn Spanish by [br]the time I win. 0:01:20.074,0:01:23.207 It feels correct to win. [br]When it's right, it's right. 0:01:23.207,0:01:25.301 I won. You know, it's kind of[br]a hobby of mine. 0:01:25.301,0:01:27.333 Thank you, god, for all this bod'. 0:01:27.333,0:01:29.235 Touch this, all of this. 0:01:29.235,0:01:30.321 Yo' boat gon' blow. 0:01:30.321,0:01:32.018 You know what my boat reminds[br]me of? 0:01:32.018,0:01:33.442 -(Jiggly) What?[br]-A winner. 0:01:33.442,0:01:35.538 You shut your ugly boat mouth. 0:01:35.538,0:01:38.501 I'm giving you maritime realness[br]with the Starship Willam. 0:01:38.501,0:01:43.882 Amenities include: Wi-Fi, there's a party [br]deck and business center. 0:01:43.882,0:01:48.673 (singing) My boat is the best. My boat[br]is pretty. 0:01:48.673,0:01:51.985 Crap. Now I'm going to have to be the[br]funny one and not the pretty one. 0:01:51.985,0:01:55.358 (singing) I'm the prettiest one, [br]now that Kenya's gone. 0:01:55.358,0:01:57.053 (singing) You can't f*ck me. 0:01:57.053,0:01:58.712 (singing) I want some breasts. 0:01:58.712,0:01:59.810 I wanted a vagina. 0:01:59.810,0:02:01.973 I love being a woman. 0:02:01.973,0:02:04.170 I'm a big boy dresses in big[br]girl's clothes. 0:02:04.170,0:02:05.755 Team talent, hey. 0:02:05.755,0:02:09.546 I had a proper ghetto booty, and [br]I was the only one wearing lipstick. 0:02:09.546,0:02:12.513 Team Willam put on a god damn show. 0:02:12.513,0:02:14.857 Sex sells, people. Sex sells. 0:02:14.857,0:02:16.794 I have good bones. 0:02:16.794,0:02:18.420 Your head is so unprofessional. 0:02:18.420,0:02:20.554 (imitating) You like that bitch? [br]Yeah, I like that, daddy. 0:02:20.554,0:02:23.334 You like that, fat bitch?[br]Whoah! 0:02:23.334,0:02:24.990 Yes, some of these bitches fell. 0:02:24.990,0:02:27.529 Y'all wish for me to be nice,[br]then I'm going to try. 0:02:27.529,0:02:31.581 Lashauwn thinks he's Magellan, [br]splitting the earth in half or something. 0:02:31.581,0:02:34.051 -Overgrown orangutan. [br]- --grown orangutan. 0:02:34.051,0:02:35.739 Like a web-footed duck. 0:02:35.739,0:02:37.492 Plus-size Jujubee! 0:02:37.492,0:02:38.992 Is the carpet comfortable? 0:02:38.992,0:02:41.621 Milan just danced circles around you,[br]and swiffered the floor 0:02:41.621,0:02:42.693 with his taint. 0:02:42.693,0:02:45.142 Did Dida not like you? Did you[br]rob her or something? 0:02:45.142,0:02:45.979 Sorry about it. 0:02:45.979,0:02:46.915 Sorry about it. 0:02:46.915,0:02:48.746 You look like you probably got[br]f*cked over a 0:02:48.746,0:02:49.965 moonshine barrel. 0:02:49.965,0:02:51.998 You ain't never going to be in [br]"West Side Story" again. 0:02:51.998,0:02:54.162 Not even a touring production, bitch. 0:02:54.162,0:02:56.714 If I would have made Milan's boat, [br]I wouldn't have put 0:02:56.714,0:02:57.810 "The Milan Invasion" on it. 0:02:57.810,0:02:58.975 I would've blamed it one someone else.[br] 0:02:58.975,0:03:01.768 Like, "I didn't do this boat. No, this [br]is her boat. That girl's boat. 0:03:01.768,0:03:02.930 Not my boat." 0:03:02.930,0:03:06.450 Their heads are uneven, and they[br]wouldn't let me put nails in them. 0:03:06.450,0:03:09.983 Next week, I'm going to wear a burqa. [br]A black chiffon burqa, and 0:03:09.983,0:03:12.889 a 301 and say, "Suck it, Michelle." 0:03:12.889,0:03:15.825 Don't talk to me, don't look at[br]the camera. It's about me.[br] 0:03:15.825,0:03:17.421 To be late is to be left. 0:03:17.421,0:03:18.556 Excuse me, sir. 0:03:18.556,0:03:20.345 Epic fail. Hashtag. 0:03:20.345,0:03:21.750 Girl, no. 0:03:21.750,0:03:23.478 Ding ding ding. Points for everybody. 0:03:23.478,0:03:27.998 Nurse. It's like, "Ooh, nurse."[br]Yeah, because she needs help, 0:03:27.998,0:03:29.018 and nurses help people. 0:03:29.018,0:03:30.245 Nurse! 0:03:30.245,0:03:35.571 (Jiggly) Did this bitch really just [br]come for me? 0:03:35.571,0:03:37.194 What didn't I do? 0:03:37.194,0:03:39.558 That's bullsh*t. She should be studied[br]down there. 0:03:39.558,0:03:41.042 I don't understand it. 0:03:41.042,0:03:44.364 I never retaliated on the show because[br]I didn't care. 0:03:44.364,0:03:46.512 I tend to think that emotions are for [br]ugly people. 0:03:46.512,0:03:49.060 It didn't add any humility to me. 0:03:49.060,0:03:51.649 And I'm not going to "RuPaulogize" [br]for anything that I'm doing now. 0:03:51.649,0:03:53.473 Your tone seems very pointed right now. 0:03:53.473,0:03:55.102 And indifference is worse than hate. 0:03:55.102,0:03:55.962 Let's go. 0:03:55.962,0:03:57.299 Alright now, clean this sh*t up. 0:03:57.299,0:03:59.557 Go home, go home. 0:03:59.557,0:04:00.785 Bye, girl, bye. 0:04:00.785,0:04:01.848 Bye. 0:04:01.848,0:04:02.593 Bye. 0:04:02.593,0:04:03.470 Bye.