WEBVTT 00:00:08.150 --> 00:00:09.400 (music) 00:00:10.190 --> 00:00:11.640 Have you ever written a play before? 00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:13.670 Have I ever written one before? 00:00:13.670 --> 00:00:15.330 No. No. 00:00:16.340 --> 00:00:17.750 Have you ever been in a play? 00:00:17.750 --> 00:00:18.860 8th grade. 00:00:19.450 --> 00:00:21.760 (laughter) Yeah, it's insane. 00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:24.290 It's insane. 00:00:24.290 --> 00:00:25.510 I don't know what I'm doing. 00:00:26.590 --> 00:00:29.640 You don't even know who hard this is, yet. 00:00:31.090 --> 00:00:32.780 I had no intentions of being 00:00:32.780 --> 00:00:34.470 in this thing, when I wrote it. 00:00:34.470 --> 00:00:36.970 I just got this idea that I liked. 00:00:38.700 --> 00:00:41.300 I had the notion of writing 00:00:41.300 --> 00:00:42.800 a play for a while. 00:00:43.820 --> 00:00:45.170 It wasn't something that I was 00:00:45.170 --> 00:00:47.190 obsessed with or even thinking about it 00:00:47.190 --> 00:00:49.540 on a daily basis or at all. 00:00:49.540 --> 00:00:51.500 I started writing and 00:00:51.500 --> 00:00:52.500 I wrote it. 00:00:53.570 --> 00:00:55.210 And as with most things I write 00:00:55.210 --> 00:00:56.380 the main characters 00:00:56.380 --> 00:00:58.170 sounded exactly like me. (laughter) 00:00:58.670 --> 00:01:00.430 What a coincidence. 00:01:01.210 --> 00:01:02.690 So he's sort of the same 00:01:02.690 --> 00:01:04.019 character that we've seen in -- 00:01:04.019 --> 00:01:05.069 Same character, 00:01:05.069 --> 00:01:06.180 different name, yeah. 00:01:06.180 --> 00:01:07.550 Same idiot, yeah. 00:01:07.550 --> 00:01:08.800 (laughter) 00:01:09.340 --> 00:01:10.340 Same idiot. 00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:14.190 Scott Rudin, the producer, he is -- 00:01:14.190 --> 00:01:15.610 He mails me: "I heard you wrote a play. 00:01:16.760 --> 00:01:18.900 I'd like to read it." 00:01:18.900 --> 00:01:20.040 So I sent it to him and 00:01:20.800 --> 00:01:21.940 he is very interested 00:01:21.940 --> 00:01:23.570 and he liked it and he said: 00:01:23.570 --> 00:01:25.580 "Well, you have to do this." 00:01:27.190 --> 00:01:28.220 I said: "What are you talking about? 00:01:28.220 --> 00:01:30.080 I can't do this, I'm not an actor." 00:01:30.080 --> 00:01:30.990 You know? 00:01:30.990 --> 00:01:32.350 He goes: "Yeah, this is you, 00:01:32.350 --> 00:01:33.470 you have to do it. 00:01:33.470 --> 00:01:35.410 The audience is going to want you to do it. 00:01:35.410 --> 00:01:36.990 They know it's you, 00:01:36.990 --> 00:01:38.100 you know. 00:01:38.100 --> 00:01:40.100 You're not fooling anybody." 00:01:42.340 --> 00:01:44.720 And, you know, 00:01:44.720 --> 00:01:46.780 he appealed to my massive ego 00:01:47.320 --> 00:01:51.350 and there you go, I caved. 00:01:51.350 --> 00:01:52.600 I said OK. 00:01:53.150 --> 00:01:54.340 Not a day has gone by that 00:01:54.340 --> 00:01:55.460 I haven't regretted that decision. 00:01:56.550 --> 00:01:57.840 Not one day, yeah. 00:01:58.400 --> 00:01:59.860 So when you started stand up, 00:01:59.860 --> 00:02:00.900 was that something you always 00:02:00.900 --> 00:02:01.660 wanted to do when you were 00:02:01.660 --> 00:02:03.130 the class cut-up in school? 00:02:03.130 --> 00:02:04.980 Were you the funny kid? Where you the one that -- 00:02:04.980 --> 00:02:06.320 No. No. No, 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:08.340 I wasn't funny at all. 00:02:09.940 --> 00:02:11.210 You know, 00:02:11.210 --> 00:02:12.950 I was in Brooklyn. 00:02:12.950 --> 00:02:14.610 You know when you grow up with people 00:02:14.610 --> 00:02:15.740 you've known since you 00:02:15.740 --> 00:02:17.600 were 6 or 7 years old, 00:02:17.600 --> 00:02:21.680 there is a dynamic that you're 00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:23.880 kind of stuck in, in a way. 00:02:23.880 --> 00:02:25.770 So, with these people 00:02:25.770 --> 00:02:27.260 - whom I still know - 00:02:27.260 --> 00:02:28.830 I'm the same unfunny person 00:02:28.830 --> 00:02:30.430 that was when I was 6. 00:02:31.540 --> 00:02:35.770 And then I went to college, at 18. 00:02:36.290 --> 00:02:37.700 So, I had a particular 00:02:37.700 --> 00:02:39.190 personality in Brooklyn. 00:02:39.190 --> 00:02:40.980 With these guys, these friends, 00:02:40.980 --> 00:02:44.000 my family, my relatives, I was this person 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:45.430 who was not funny. 00:02:45.430 --> 00:02:46.840 There is nothing funny about me . 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:47.930 I didn't think I was funny. 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:50.540 Nobody ever laughed at anything I said. 00:02:50.540 --> 00:02:51.670 I never said anything funny. 00:02:53.020 --> 00:02:53.890 And then all of a sudden 00:02:53.890 --> 00:02:55.730 I went to an out of town college -- 00:02:55.730 --> 00:02:56.960 I knew I wanted to get away, 00:02:56.960 --> 00:02:58.340 I had to get away. 00:02:58.340 --> 00:03:03.570 And suddenly people 00:03:03.570 --> 00:03:06.610 started laughing at me. And I -- 00:03:06.610 --> 00:03:07.650 "What the -- what the hell is -- 00:03:07.650 --> 00:03:09.450 what's going on?" You know? 00:03:09.450 --> 00:03:10.580 One guy in particular 00:03:10.580 --> 00:03:11.900 became my best friend. 00:03:11.900 --> 00:03:13.330 Man, I'm in. 00:03:13.330 --> 00:03:15.840 You know, all of a sudden a part of me 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:17.670 - that I didn't even know existed - 00:03:17.670 --> 00:03:19.900 now stared to emerge. 00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:21.910 And it was something. 00:03:21.910 --> 00:03:23.380 I was quite startled by it. 00:03:23.910 --> 00:03:26.820 And I still didn't think about 00:03:26.820 --> 00:03:28.020 becoming a comedian. 00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:29.390 That didn't enter my mind. 00:03:30.220 --> 00:03:32.850 I was raised to think that 00:03:32.850 --> 00:03:35.510 I couldn't do anything, you know? 00:03:36.170 --> 00:03:37.530 Don't get your hopes up. 00:03:37.530 --> 00:03:38.780 OK? 00:03:45.040 --> 00:03:46.130 I remember one day -- 00:03:46.130 --> 00:03:47.860 I remember one time 00:03:47.860 --> 00:03:49.170 I was asked in front of my mother 00:03:49.170 --> 00:03:51.450 what I might want to be. 00:03:51.990 --> 00:03:52.940 I said: "Yeah, I really like sports. 00:03:52.940 --> 00:03:54.180 Maybe I could be a sports announcer. 00:03:54.770 --> 00:03:55.790 And she goes: "You're not special. 00:03:55.790 --> 00:03:59.640 You're not going to be a sport announcer." 00:03:59.640 --> 00:04:01.910 You know, she wanted me to be a mailman, really. 00:04:02.410 --> 00:04:03.910 That was her dream. 00:04:05.600 --> 00:04:08.560 So being a comedian didn't occur to me. 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:09.930 Then I got out of college 00:04:10.630 --> 00:04:11.810 and 00:04:13.570 --> 00:04:15.820 my friend's wife kept saying: 00:04:15.820 --> 00:04:16.829 "You know, you're funny 00:04:16.829 --> 00:04:19.390 why aren't you doing stand up comedy?" 00:04:19.390 --> 00:04:20.870 Because I was floundering. 00:04:22.980 --> 00:04:24.230 Charles, can I call you Chip? 00:04:24.230 --> 00:04:25.480 Yes, please. Yeah? 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:27.610 You know, that's his nickname. 00:04:27.610 --> 00:04:29.270 Chip. 00:04:29.270 --> 00:04:30.880 I said to a rabbi once -- 00:04:30.880 --> 00:04:34.290 Before my nephew's Bar Mitzvah he said: 00:04:34.290 --> 00:04:36.260 "What's your legal name?" 00:04:37.650 --> 00:04:38.850 I said: "I don't know. 00:04:38.850 --> 00:04:40.060 But you can call me Chip. 00:04:41.520 --> 00:04:42.230 " (laughter) 00:04:42.230 --> 00:04:44.240 So, in any way -- 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:47.970 So, 00:04:48.510 --> 00:04:50.920 she was encouraging me to do it. 00:04:50.920 --> 00:04:54.760 And I went to the improv to watch a show, 00:04:54.760 --> 00:04:57.970 a night of comedy. Excuse me. 00:04:57.970 --> 00:05:01.430 Hem, hem, hem. 00:05:02.210 --> 00:05:04.010 I hope this happens during my brilliant play 00:05:04.010 --> 00:05:04.870 that's going to be pleasant. 00:05:04.870 --> 00:05:05.900 (laughter) 00:05:05.900 --> 00:05:08.340 So, I went to watch a night of comedy 00:05:08.340 --> 00:05:09.840 and as I'm watching it 00:05:09.840 --> 00:05:10.940 I'm going: "Jesus, you know, 00:05:10.940 --> 00:05:14.000 I think I could do this." And in the middle 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.810 of the show I walk up to Bud Friedman 00:05:15.810 --> 00:05:17.060 who was the manager of the club, 00:05:17.060 --> 00:05:18.510 the owner of the club, 00:05:18.510 --> 00:05:20.870 and I say: "I'd like to go on." 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:26.730 Yeah. How insane is that? 00:05:27.350 --> 00:05:29.890 I had nothing, OK? 00:05:29.890 --> 00:05:31.470 I've never been on a stage. 00:05:32.050 --> 00:05:33.130 "I wanna go on" Thank god he said: " 00:05:34.310 --> 00:05:35.810 Who are you?" 00:05:37.770 --> 00:05:38.940 "No, of course not. 00:05:38.940 --> 00:05:40.060 You can't go on. 00:05:41.200 --> 00:05:43.210 You've got to audition." 00:05:43.210 --> 00:05:44.220 Well, ok, so then 00:05:44.220 --> 00:05:45.240 I wrote some material 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:47.160 and I started trying to do it.