(music)
Have you ever written a play before?
Have I ever written one before?
No. No.
Have you ever been in a play?
8th grade.
(laughter) Yeah, it's insane.
It's insane.
I don't know what I'm doing.
You don't even know who hard this is, yet.
I had no intentions of being
in this thing, when I wrote it.
I just got this idea that I liked.
I had the notion of writing
a play for a while.
It wasn't something that I was
obsessed with or even thinking about it
on a daily basis or at all.
I started writing and
I wrote it.
And as with most things I write
the main characters
sounded exactly like me. (laughter)
What a coincidence.
So he's sort of the same
character that we've seen in --
Same character,
different name, yeah.
Same idiot, yeah.
(laughter)
Same idiot.
Scott Rudin, the producer, he is --
He mails me: "I heard you wrote a play.
I'd like to read it."
So I sent it to him and
he is very interested
and he liked it and he said:
"Well, you have to do this."
I said: "What are you talking about?
I can't do this, I'm not an actor."
You know?
He goes: "Yeah, this is you,
you have to do it.
The audience is going to want you to do it.
They know it's you,
you know.
You're not fooling anybody."
And, you know,
he appealed to my massive ego
and there you go, I caved.
I said OK.
Not a day has gone by that
I haven't regretted that decision.
Not one day, yeah.
So when you started stand up,
was that something you always
wanted to do when you were
the class cut-up in school?
Were you the funny kid? Where you the one that --
No. No. No,
I wasn't funny at all.
You know,
I was in Brooklyn.
You know when you grow up with people
you've known since you
were 6 or 7 years old,
there is a dynamic that you're
kind of stuck in, in a way.
So, with these people
- whom I still know -
I'm the same unfunny person
that was when I was 6.
And then I went to college, at 18.
So, I had a particular
personality in Brooklyn.
With these guys, these friends,
my family, my relatives, I was this person
who was not funny.
There is nothing funny about me .
I didn't think I was funny.
Nobody ever laughed at anything I said.
I never said anything funny.
And then all of a sudden
I went to an out of town college --
I knew I wanted to get away,
I had to get away.
And suddenly people
started laughing at me. And I --
"What the -- what the hell is --
what's going on?" You know?
One guy in particular
became my best friend.
Man, I'm in.
You know, all of a sudden a part of me
- that I didn't even know existed -
now stared to emerge.
And it was something.
I was quite startled by it.
And I still didn't think about
becoming a comedian.
That didn't enter my mind.
I was raised to think that
I couldn't do anything, you know?
Don't get your hopes up.
OK?
I remember one day --
I remember one time
I was asked in front of my mother
what I might want to be.
I said: "Yeah, I really like sports.
Maybe I could be a sports announcer.
And she goes: "You're not special.
You're not going to be a sport announcer."
You know, she wanted me to be a mailman, really.
That was her dream.
So being a comedian didn't occur to me.
Then I got out of college
and
my friend's wife kept saying:
"You know, you're funny
why aren't you doing stand up comedy?"
Because I was floundering.
Charles, can I call you Chip?
Yes, please. Yeah?
You know, that's his nickname.
Chip.
I said to a rabbi once --
Before my nephew's Bar Mitzvah he said:
"What's your legal name?"
I said: "I don't know.
But you can call me Chip.
" (laughter)
So, in any way --
So,
she was encouraging me to do it.
And I went to the improv to watch a show,
a night of comedy. Excuse me.
Hem, hem, hem.
I hope this happens during my brilliant play
that's going to be pleasant.
(laughter)
So, I went to watch a night of comedy
and as I'm watching it
I'm going: "Jesus, you know,
I think I could do this." And in the middle
of the show I walk up to Bud Friedman
who was the manager of the club,
the owner of the club,
and I say: "I'd like to go on."
Yeah. How insane is that?
I had nothing, OK?
I've never been on a stage.
"I wanna go on" Thank god he said: "
Who are you?"
"No, of course not.
You can't go on.
You've got to audition."
Well, ok, so then
I wrote some material
and I started trying to do it.