WEBVTT

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-These are our favorite

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"Jokes of the Week."

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[ Cheering, whistling,
and applause ]

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According to sources,

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former National Security Advisor
John Bolton

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told conservative donors

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he thinks President Trump
is mentally unstable,

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but I'm sure Trump
will clear up that misconception

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with 150 tweets at 3:00 am

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[ Laughter ]

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Senator Mitt Romney
was seen today

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drinking chocolate milk
during the impeachment trial

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and then, right after,

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he failed a breathalyzer test.

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[ Laughter ]

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State lawmakers in Kentuck
have proposed a bill

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that would require schools

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to start teaching sex ed
in kindergarten.

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Said a Kentucky first grader
"Oh, man,

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that really would've
been helpful

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before my wedding night!"

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[ Laughter and ohhs ]

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Republican Senator Mike Brau

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this weekend said that he hope
impeachment will serve

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as a learning experience
for President Trump, saying,

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"I think he'll
put 2 and 2 together."

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Because if there's
one thing we know

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about a man who has
bankrupted three casinos,

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it's that he's good at math.

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[ Laughter and applause ]

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A New York woman has admitte
that she is responsible

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for sending her boyfriend
to the emergency room

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24 times last year

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by secretly putting pesticides
in his food.

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When he asked the doctor wha
to take for that, she said

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"The hint."

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[ Laughter ]

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♪♪♪♪

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[ Cheering and applause ]