1
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（掌聲）

2
00:00:00,730 --> 00:00:03,424
最壞嘅情況會變成點？

3
00:00:04,336 --> 00:00:06,558
大概喺十年前

4
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:10,307
我坐喺一個非常凍嘅診症室

5
00:00:10,331 --> 00:00:12,828
等我嘅腫瘤醫生

6
00:00:12,852 --> 00:00:14,787
我好驚

7
00:00:14,811 --> 00:00:18,788
即使我嘅另一半當時就坐喺我嘅右手邊

8
00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:20,787
我仲係覺得好孤獨

9
00:00:21,298 --> 00:00:24,284
我啱啱被確診有乳腺瘤

10
00:00:24,308 --> 00:00:25,934
似乎同時

11
00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:30,131
掃描圖上我右肺上有一個白點

12
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,090
意味著我嘅癌症已經開始擴散

13
00:00:33,719 --> 00:00:36,123
我患咗擴散咗嘅乳腺癌

14
00:00:36,701 --> 00:00:39,166
當時我仲未開始我嘅醫學培訓

15
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,280
但我知如果呢個結果係真嘅

16
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,360
會係無藥可治嘅乳腺瘤

17
00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:48,263
係末期嘅乳腺瘤

18
00:00:48,988 --> 00:00:51,390
我當時只有 27 歲

19
00:00:51,414 --> 00:00:54,075
啱啱有醫學院錄取咗我

20
00:00:54,099 --> 00:00:57,357
但我要思考我嘅人生係咪走向咗盡頭

21
00:00:58,438 --> 00:01:03,006
我嘅腫瘤醫生唔係一個好熱情嘅人

22
00:01:04,117 --> 00:01:06,371
佢比較注重客觀事實

23
00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:08,774
就好似其他專業嘅醫生一樣

24
00:01:09,747 --> 00:01:13,623
佢啱開口講「我哋嘅身體
係由好多細胞組成嘅……」

25
00:01:14,361 --> 00:01:15,941
我就打斷佢，我話

26
00:01:16,385 --> 00:01:18,574
「我就快開始讀醫學院，

27
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所以我知。」

28
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佢無繼續講

29
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而係直接進入正題

30
00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:29,704
佢話我要開始進行化療

31
00:01:29,728 --> 00:01:31,188
去控制住癌症

32
00:01:31,212 --> 00:01:34,744
佢開始講藥物嘅細節同副作用

33
00:01:34,768 --> 00:01:35,963
仲有成個療程

34
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我提佢佢仲未幫我肺部嘅白點做活檢

35
00:01:40,528 --> 00:01:44,474
真係可以確認我有癌症？

36
00:01:45,282 --> 00:01:50,748
我記得佢當時對我嘅問題表現震驚

37
00:01:50,772 --> 00:01:54,266
或者佢當時認為我唔係好信佢

38
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甚至認為我否認佢講嘅嘢

39
00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:01,372
但我只係想令佢明白，作為佢嘅病人

40
00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:06,754
活檢唔係單純一個形式
用嚟證明已成定局嘅結論

41
00:02:06,754 --> 00:02:11,057
佢仲係一條鋼針
穿過皮膚、肌肉同骨

42
00:02:11,105 --> 00:02:15,377
會令我更加深刻噉意識到呢個問題

43
00:02:15,377 --> 00:02:18,251
一個我希望無遇到嘅問題

44
00:02:18,275 --> 00:02:22,540
活檢之前，我係一個 27 歲嘅女人

45
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或者我嘅乳腺癌會擴散

46
00:02:25,602 --> 00:02:29,023
或者我嘅乳腺癌已經擴散咗

47
00:02:29,047 --> 00:02:31,427
呢兩樣嘢係有關鍵性嘅分別

48
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但係最精英嘅腫瘤學培訓裡面
無人會強調呢一點

49
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所以佢無視我嘅問題
而係決定直接開始治療

50
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僅僅幾個禮拜之後

51
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自從第一次確診後
好多事情都隨之而來

52
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諷刺嘅係，活檢不單止係一種形式

53
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我之前嘅腫瘤醫生係啱嘅

54
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（笑聲）

55
00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,273
確實係癌症

56
00:02:56,297 --> 00:03:00,237
不過係完全唔同嘅肺癌

57
00:03:00,261 --> 00:03:02,256
聽起身好瘋狂係咪？

58
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,996
一個好消息係

59
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:07,596
我無擴散性乳腺癌

60
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,909
我係有兩種唔同嘅癌症

61
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:12,377
但呢兩種癌症都係局部性嘅

62
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,655
而肺癌嘅局部範圍細到

63
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可以被移除

64
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所以治療從肺部手術開始

65
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跟著就係化療

66
00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:26,228
我 28 歲生日後做咗胸部手術

67
00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:28,623
兩個禮拜後

68
00:03:29,298 --> 00:03:31,355
我開始去醫學院返學

69
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,675
我有一個新嘅腫瘤醫生……

70
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（笑聲）

71
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:40,626
佢同我嘅溝通比較愉快
佢講咗啲客觀事實，同對我影響

72
00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:42,138
佢建議埋我

73
00:03:42,162 --> 00:03:46,195
應該延遲一年入學

74
00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:49,954
將時間用喺休息、康復度

75
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我接納咗佢嘅意見

76
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喺高強度嘅化療過程中，我覺得好痛苦

77
00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:58,077
我寫信畀醫學院嘅院長

78
00:03:58,101 --> 00:04:00,125
解釋咗我嘅情況

79
00:04:00,149 --> 00:04:02,648
我嘅延期申請好快就批咗

80
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,945
我稍微好少少嘅時候

81
00:04:05,969 --> 00:04:09,232
我開始思考
呢一年嘅時間裡我應該做咩呢

82
00:04:09,804 --> 00:04:12,201
我應該去海灘嗎

83
00:04:12,225 --> 00:04:13,257
（笑聲）

84
00:04:13,281 --> 00:04:15,704
但其實我唔係一個鍾意去海灘嘅人

85
00:04:15,728 --> 00:04:16,806
（笑聲）

86
00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:20,851
我仲有幾多年命呢

87
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:23,029
我真係好想去醫學院讀書

88
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:25,869
呢件事就好似我人生裡面
唔見咗嘅一塊拼圖

89
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:30,018
與其猶豫不決

90
00:04:30,042 --> 00:04:33,044
我開始問自己，最壞嘅情況會係點

91
00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:36,882
或者我可能會太虛弱或者
病得太嚴重而無法學習

92
00:04:36,906 --> 00:04:39,328
或者我會情緒崩潰

93
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或者我會考試唔過

94
00:04:42,303 --> 00:04:45,901
但我諗，呢啲一定唔會係
發生喺我身上最壞嘅事

95
00:04:45,925 --> 00:04:47,341
更加唔會係嗰一年裡發生最壞嘅事

96
00:04:47,365 --> 00:04:50,142
咁點解唔返學校呢

97
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咁點解唔按照我想要嘅方式去生活呢

98
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所以我決定好

99
00:04:56,242 --> 00:04:58,221
當時我無頭髮又瘦骨嶙峋

100
00:04:58,245 --> 00:05:01,894
我戴我最好嘅耳環，著我最鍾意嘅裙

101
00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:03,624
開始返去讀書

102
00:05:03,648 --> 00:05:05,807
我扮我係屬於嗰度嘅

103
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然後就開始啦

104
00:05:07,918 --> 00:05:11,029
我唔知點形容有幾困難

105
00:05:11,053 --> 00:05:13,509
有啲日子我甚至覺得
無辦法繼續支撐落去

106
00:05:14,082 --> 00:05:18,336
我感覺我喺度做啲對未來無意義嘅事

107
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每一日，我都會問自己
你仲享受呢啲嗎？

108
00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:23,963
呢啲仲係你想做嘅事情嗎？

109
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每一日我嘅答案都係，係嘅

110
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有時候係一個有條件嘅肯定

111
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但佢仍然係一個肯定

112
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然後我嘅身體舒服咗少少

113
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然後我覺得
或者我都唔一定唔可以畢業

114
00:05:37,232 --> 00:05:40,377
然後，我收到更差嘅消息

115
00:05:40,401 --> 00:05:47,032
我嘅 TP53 或簡稱 P53 基因發生咗突變

116
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呢個基因係一種守護基因嘅……

117
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:50,934
一種突變

118
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P53 負責監督我們基因嘅修復

119
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,690
基因突變意味著錯誤已經唔可以被修正

120
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:03,652
因此正常嘅細胞變成
癌細胞嘅可能性會高好多

121
00:06:04,358 --> 00:06:06,250
得知呢件事情嘅時候好突然

122
00:06:06,274 --> 00:06:09,196
我嘅醫學常識帶畀我一種好差嘅感覺

123
00:06:09,544 --> 00:06:14,044
細個嘅時候、喺我七歲嘅時候
患過一種癌︰橫紋肌肉瘤

124
00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:16,074
喺我青少年時期又複發咗一次

125
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:19,709
呢啲都係喺 P53 被實驗室發現之前

126
00:06:20,221 --> 00:06:23,661
跟住，我患咗年輕成年人嘅
乳腺癌同肺癌

127
00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:26,502
得知基因突變呢件事之後

128
00:06:26,526 --> 00:06:29,023
喺我可以預見嘅未來裡面

129
00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:32,164
我睇唔到呢一切嘅盡頭

130
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然後

131
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:38,753
我決定成為一個放射腫瘤學家

132
00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:39,841
（笑聲）

133
00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:43,885
我希望幾個月後當我從住院部實習結束

134
00:06:43,909 --> 00:06:45,384
可以去一個新城市

135
00:06:45,408 --> 00:06:49,814
開始我嘅第一份醫生同研究者嘅工作

136
00:06:50,882 --> 00:06:53,265
因為毅力

137
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:54,910
因為大家對我嘅優待

138
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:57,317
因為治療

139
00:06:57,341 --> 00:07:01,804
因為我嘅醫療團隊
我嘅家庭同我嘅教授

140
00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:06,704
因為基因診斷畀我哋嘅知識

141
00:07:06,728 --> 00:07:08,046
我需要繼續向前

142
00:07:08,683 --> 00:07:11,701
即使喺 2020 年

143
00:07:11,725 --> 00:07:16,406
仲係無奇蹟療法同醫學突破

144
00:07:16,993 --> 00:07:20,043
而嗰次基因診斷報告嘅壞消息

145
00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:23,314
意味著我要學識同不確定性共存

146
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:29,621
意味著了解你同你嘅病情
唔算最壞嘅事

147
00:07:30,481 --> 00:07:32,393
學識同不確定性共存

148
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,791
意味著向著生活向前行

149
00:07:34,815 --> 00:07:39,334
充滿美好但都充滿挑戰

150
00:07:39,911 --> 00:07:44,856
亦都意味著你要認識到
癌症只不過係你故事裡嘅一個部分

151
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,392
或者唔係發生喺你身上最壞嘅事

152
00:07:47,416 --> 00:07:49,323
假如係，都無乜大不了

153
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,816
你會承認你嘅命運，然後掌握佢

154
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,572
令佢成為你可以同人講嘅故事

155
00:07:55,596 --> 00:07:58,634
除咗你無人可以規定你係成為一個乜嘢人

156
00:07:58,658 --> 00:08:02,896
即使你手裡有學業延期書
都要按照自己嘅意願去用

157
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,075
我就快要完成我腫瘤科課業嘅時候

158
00:08:07,099 --> 00:08:10,537
我腦一次又一次浮現咗以下場景：

159
00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,531
有個病人有咗癌症

160
00:08:12,555 --> 00:08:14,317
有好幾種選擇

161
00:08:14,365 --> 00:08:20,310
所有嘅選擇都提供咗一種
治愈同生活質素之間嘅平衡

162
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:24,166
係減輕痛苦

163
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:27,098
同加劇痛苦之間嘅平衡

164
00:08:27,122 --> 00:08:29,202
一個腫瘤學家列出咗啲選擇

165
00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:32,540
但係，事情有時候會有改變

166
00:08:32,564 --> 00:08:34,614
事情最終可能會變成

167
00:08:34,638 --> 00:08:37,957
「你揀咗做一啲事，

168
00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:40,566
或者你選擇乜都唔做，

169
00:08:41,394 --> 00:08:45,735
我哋可能好積極噉醫好你嘅癌症，

170
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,117
或者我哋可以只係睇住癌症發展落去。」

171
00:08:47,844 --> 00:08:50,412
而超過 99% 嘅病人會話

172
00:08:50,436 --> 00:08:54,050
我會做所有嘢

173
00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,350
當然啦

174
00:08:56,374 --> 00:08:59,741
邊個唔想做所有嘢呢

175
00:09:00,446 --> 00:09:02,049
但係所有嘢又係咩？

176
00:09:02,781 --> 00:09:08,424
係指坐喺自己屋企嘅窗口外面

177
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:11,577
一邊同家人團聚，一邊灑太陽？

178
00:09:12,041 --> 00:09:16,043
係指喺手腳仲未因為化療變僵硬之前

179
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:18,749
仲感受到自己手同腳？

180
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:24,061
作為腫瘤學家
我哋所做嘅一切都係癌症治療

181
00:09:24,672 --> 00:09:29,962
係電療、手術、化療同新療法

182
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,383
而對於我哋，最壞嘅事情可能會發生

183
00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:35,121
我聽過唔止一位腫瘤學家講

184
00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:36,731
最壞嘅事情可能係

185
00:09:36,755 --> 00:09:39,715
患者嘅癌細胞擴散

186
00:09:39,739 --> 00:09:43,306
或者係，五年之後

187
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:46,417
癌症會變嚴重，我必須做更多嘅化療

188
00:09:47,047 --> 00:09:49,667
作為一個患者同一個腫瘤學家

189
00:09:49,691 --> 00:09:53,843
我從來唔會去否定呢啲係傷心嘅打擊

190
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,779
但係咪最壞？

191
00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:58,691
控制癌症

192
00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:01,942
應該一直係我們腦海最重要嘅嘢嗎？

193
00:10:03,727 --> 00:10:10,727
好多難以形容，難以理解嘅殘酷嘅事情
曾經發生喺我身上

194
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:14,357
因為我嘅癌症，我嘅基因突變

195
00:10:14,845 --> 00:10:19,031
但依家，我認為我自己十分幸運

196
00:10:19,055 --> 00:10:22,063
因為最壞嘅事情無發生

197
00:10:22,902 --> 00:10:28,183
因為我已經面對到個衝擊同不確定性

198
00:10:28,207 --> 00:10:30,712
而且將佢哋擺埋一邊

199
00:10:30,736 --> 00:10:33,348
當我被確診為擴散性乳腺癌嘅時侯

200
00:10:33,372 --> 00:10:37,539
我想尋求第二種意見而去咗波士頓
因為，我仲有咩可以失去？

201
00:10:37,563 --> 00:10:40,533
當我嘅醫生畀咗我非常好、非常安全

202
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,935
非常標準嘅建議嘅時候

203
00:10:41,959 --> 00:10:44,171
我仲係不顧一切咁開始咗
我嘅醫學院生涯

204
00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:47,207
即使我同時承受緊癌症治療嘅痛苦

205
00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:51,402
我無選擇避開癌症患者

206
00:10:51,426 --> 00:10:53,768
我成為咗一個放射性腫瘤醫生

207
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:56,255
我嘅工作需要我
同我好相似嘅癌症患者相處

208
00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:57,622
每一日都要

209
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:03,534
與其想像有一日，我帶畀我伴侶嘅傷痛

210
00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:05,620
因為我可能會死於癌症

211
00:11:05,644 --> 00:11:08,557
我嫁咗畀一個很好嘅丈夫

212
00:11:09,398 --> 00:11:11,475
最壞情況

213
00:11:11,499 --> 00:11:14,728
永遠都係一系列嘅負面情緒

214
00:11:14,752 --> 00:11:16,859
又或者咁講，空白鍵

215
00:11:16,883 --> 00:11:18,974
係需要被生活填滿

216
00:11:20,351 --> 00:11:26,498
所以我喺呢種超級不確定
學到最有用嘅係乜呢？

217
00:11:27,656 --> 00:11:30,800
呢個係威廉

218
00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:37,692
佢係我認識嘅人裡面，最快樂嘅人

219
00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:43,857
僅僅一年嘅時間內
佢令呢個世界變得更好

220
00:11:46,341 --> 00:11:50,263
作為腫瘤學家，我哋同病人交流時

221
00:11:50,287 --> 00:11:52,188
講到最壞嘅事都離唔開

222
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,490
佢哋可能癌症復發

223
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,598
或者可能癌症擴散
或者佢哋因為癌症而死

224
00:11:58,071 --> 00:12:00,888
作為一個病人，我知道噉係最壞嘅結果

225
00:12:00,912 --> 00:12:03,812
但我想改變我哋思考呢個問題嘅方式

226
00:12:03,836 --> 00:12:07,600
我想轉變我哋同病人
講起呢件事時嘅方式

227
00:12:08,171 --> 00:12:09,702
作為一名病人

228
00:12:09,726 --> 00:12:14,545
最壞嘅事係癌症掠奪咗你嘅機會

229
00:12:14,569 --> 00:12:16,564
去活出你自己

230
00:12:16,588 --> 00:12:17,901
去做你嘅嘢

231
00:12:17,925 --> 00:12:19,442
去愛你嘅人

232
00:12:20,044 --> 00:12:21,570
癌症確實可以掠奪

233
00:12:21,594 --> 00:12:24,276
至少暫時會

234
00:12:24,802 --> 00:12:28,032
但為咗將生活嘅損失最小化

235
00:12:28,056 --> 00:12:34,432
雖然咁樣好難，但我想講
腫瘤學家真正嘅工作

236
00:12:34,456 --> 00:12:38,820
係將我哋手中有嘅資源同工具

237
00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:41,461
用喺病人嘅生命裏邊

238
00:12:41,485 --> 00:12:45,505
教佢哋點樣面對痛苦

239
00:12:45,529 --> 00:12:47,713
對佢哋所承受嘅痛苦有同理心

240
00:12:47,737 --> 00:12:52,820
但唔好畀恐懼奪去未來嘅人生旅程

241
00:12:54,053 --> 00:12:58,525
我嘅一個導師成日話
同病人講醫治嗰部分係好簡單嘅

242
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:03,491
雖然年輕醫生唔係噉睇

243
00:13:03,515 --> 00:13:06,104
但佢又講得幾啱

244
00:13:06,695 --> 00:13:12,680
我哋喺醫院駐院嗰陣會有
好勁嘅學術指引帶著我哋

245
00:13:13,695 --> 00:13:20,686
但更難嘅部分係點樣幫助病人
度過各種各樣嘅難關

246
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,876
包括佢哋嘅病痛

247
00:13:24,548 --> 00:13:29,618
所以我發現回憶非常有趣

248
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,380
我嘅人生睇起嚟就好似一個好好嘅計劃

249
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:37,134
睇上去我將每一步都計劃得好好

250
00:13:37,158 --> 00:13:41,620
呢啲可能就係癌症帶畀我生活好嘅嘢

251
00:13:42,465 --> 00:13:45,672
第一步：申請醫學院

252
00:13:45,696 --> 00:13:49,107
第二步：確診，治療癌症

253
00:13:49,131 --> 00:13:54,010
第三步：擁有事業同一個家庭

254
00:13:55,266 --> 00:13:57,187
但我仲想話畀你知

255
00:13:57,941 --> 00:14:02,586
每一個階段都係信心嘅提升

256
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:06,868
就算就快俾不確定嘅事麻痺

257
00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:09,798
就係呢種勇氣

258
00:14:09,822 --> 00:14:12,698
我都努力將勇氣帶畀我每一個病人

259
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:19,675
我努力忽略癌症嘅技術性治療細節

260
00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:21,401
仲有嗰啲基因突變

261
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:25,831
無視嗰啲預測可以帶畀我哋嘅後果

262
00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:29,483
我嘗試去了解患者想要嘅

263
00:14:29,507 --> 00:14:31,444
同需要嘅嘢

264
00:14:31,468 --> 00:14:34,886
患者渴望嘅同擔心嘅事

265
00:14:36,239 --> 00:14:39,122
仲有患者夢想追求嘅嘢

266
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,258
有咩令佢哋以前好開心

267
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:49,901
以及有乜可以支撐佢哋
捱過可怕嘅癌症治療

268
00:14:51,082 --> 00:14:54,538
呢啲嘢都唔需要花太多時間

269
00:14:55,746 --> 00:15:00,342
只需要花少少注意力同幾個安靜嘅片刻

270
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,803
同時都需要有意識嘅培養

271
00:15:04,956 --> 00:15:07,430
而最重要嘅係醫生同病人嘅合作關係嚟

272
00:15:08,487 --> 00:15:10,482
呢樣嘢最重要

273
00:15:11,538 --> 00:15:14,587
因為最壞嘅事

274
00:15:14,611 --> 00:15:24,103
係有腫瘤醫生做咗所有嘢去醫你嘅癌症

275
00:15:24,103 --> 00:15:29,019
而你又乜都唔做去改善你嘅生活

276
00:15:30,587 --> 00:15:31,913
多謝