[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,<The Essence of Friendship Is Equality>
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.16,0:00:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) I want to thank you\Nfor your helpful Dharma talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.92,0:00:20.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.73,0:00:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) My question is, when I'm with\Nmy friends and talk with them,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.34,0:00:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is a lack of reaction,\Nwhich brings the mood down.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.87,0:00:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, the conversation gets boring.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.74,0:00:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I try hard to get along with others, \Nbut the more I try,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.94,0:00:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more timid \Nand withdrawn I get.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.78,0:00:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, instead of going out \Nto meet people,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.86,0:00:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I prefer spending time\Nalone at home.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.87,0:00:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more I try to talk with people,\Nthe more intimidated and uncomfortable I feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.14,0:00:52.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how to fix this,\Nor how to shift my perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.93,0:00:54.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my concern.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.96,0:00:58.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why do you\Nfeel intimidated?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.89,0:01:02.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) It's just...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.65,0:01:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When they seem unimpressed by what I say,\NI feel like they don't care about me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.08,0:01:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think, "Why bother talking to them?" \NAnd I feel deflated and insignificant.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.47,0:01:19.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) So, you feel discouraged\Ndepending other's reactions?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.96,0:01:21.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.49,0:01:24.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) But they don't have\Nany obligation to respond.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.85,0:01:27.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) That's true, \Nbut when I have an intention
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.83,0:01:30.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but don't get the expected \Nreaction, then I feel...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.83,0:01:33.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Isn't that normal?\N(Questioner) Yes, I agree.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.52,0:01:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) If you think it's normal that they don't react \Nthe way you want, you shouldn't feel discouraged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.21,0:01:43.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It seems you expect them to react \Nthe way you want when you speak.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.69,0:01:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel discouraged \Nwhen that expectation isn't met.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.80,0:01:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether to react or not,\Nis their choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.28,0:01:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't expect anything,\Nthere's no need to feel discouraged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.81,0:01:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speak your piece\Nand be done.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.53,0:02:00.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have no obligation\Nto show any reactions.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.79,0:02:04.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have to force enthusiasm\Nfrom your friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.39,0:02:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are not true friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.58,0:02:10.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not a good way\Nto build friendships.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.62,0:02:14.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) When I am with my friends,\Ntalking and spending time together,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.29,0:02:17.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I keep finding myself separated\Nfrom the rest of the group
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.20,0:02:19.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) What do you mean?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.60,0:02:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a friend who hardly talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.00,0:02:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever we're together,\Nhe stays quiet but smiles.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.82,0:02:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He just complies here \Nand there with a smile.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.06,0:02:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He gets along with \Neveryone very well.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.75,0:02:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You either want to be\Na leader in control,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.66,0:02:41.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or desire to be the most popular\Nperson in the group.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.98,0:02:45.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not friendship.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.06,0:02:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,True friends have fun, listen, laugh, \Nand sympathize with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.51,0:02:57.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why does friendship need so much talking?\NWhy do you want to talk so much?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.39,0:03:06.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do you feel the need to \Ntake the lead amongst friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.39,0:03:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) It's not so much that, \Nbut, how can I say this...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.43,0:03:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be the life of the party?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.44,0:03:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why should you be \Nthe center of attention?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.42,0:03:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter)\N(Questioner) You have a point.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.04,0:03:23.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Being the life of the party is\Nno different than wanting more control.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.47,0:03:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only difference is \Nyou are mixing in some English.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.57,0:03:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter) I can tell \Neven though I don't know English.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.58,0:03:35.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to let go of that kind of \Ndesire amongst friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.01,0:03:42.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you need to prepare what to say\Nbefore you meet your friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.67,0:03:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you don't. \NIf you have nothing to say, stay quiet.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.41,0:03:52.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can just listen and smile\Nor talk if you have anything to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.36,0:03:55.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If one person mainly\Nleads the friendship,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.62,0:03:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or is predominantly popular, \Nthe friendship doesn't last.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.60,0:04:03.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship is about equality. \NThat's how friends should be.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.43,0:04:07.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does not drinking make you \Nless of a drinking buddy? Not true.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.53,0:04:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friends love you even if you don't drink, \Nas long as you're buying, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.17,0:04:14.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter)\NYou get that, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.87,0:04:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can accompany your friends\Nwhen they go out to drink at any time.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.22,0:04:22.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you buy, nobody will complain\Neven if you don't drink.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.30,0:04:27.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is wrong to think that you can't be\Nfriends because you don't drink.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.76,0:04:31.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just like being friends \Nwith a smoker.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.53,0:04:35.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Smoking is now subject to disapproval\Nbut in the past, there were more smokers.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.95,0:04:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could carry a pack of cigarettes \Nto offer and light up for your friends
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.86,0:04:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without smoking yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.68,0:04:44.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The questioner has\Nthe wrong mindset.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.47,0:04:47.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship should be \Nbased on equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.41,0:04:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The essence of friendship\Nis equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.78,0:04:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether you're a congressman\Nor holding a high position,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.88,0:05:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,flaunting wealth or status to \Nfriends is frowned upon
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.04,0:05:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because friendship \Nis rooted in equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.62,0:05:09.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, if you can let go of such notions,\Nyour problem will be resolved.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.76,0:05:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't need to talk, but you shouldn't \Nsulk alone in a corner all day.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.96,0:05:16.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't feel like talking, \Nyou can stay quiet,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.81,0:05:21.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you still need to make eye contact\Nand listen to others, nodding your head.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.01,0:05:24.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to say something \Nor are asked to speak, you can do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.99,0:05:27.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's so difficult \Nabout that?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.66,0:05:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) You're right. \NThank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.04,0:05:33.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Sure.\N(Audience Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.50,0:05:43.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am hope.