[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,<The Essence of Friendship Is Equality>
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.16,0:00:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) I want to thank you\Nfor your helpful Dharma talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.92,0:00:20.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.73,0:00:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) My question is, when I'm with\Nmy friends and talk with them,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.34,0:00:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is a lack of reaction,\Nwhich brings the mood down.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.87,0:00:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, the conversation gets boring.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.74,0:00:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I try hard to get along with others, \Nbut the more I try,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.94,0:00:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more timid \Nand withdrawn I get.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.78,0:00:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, instead of going out \Nto meet people,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.86,0:00:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I prefer spending time\Nalone at home.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.87,0:00:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more I try to talk with people,\Nthe more intimidated and uncomfortable I feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.14,0:00:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how to fix this,\Nor how to shift my perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.61,0:00:54.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my concern.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.65,0:00:58.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why do you\Nfeel intimidated?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.45,0:01:02.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) It's just...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.65,0:01:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When they seem unimpressed by what I say,\NI feel like they don't care about me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.08,0:01:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think, "Why bother talking to them?" \NAnd I feel deflated and insignificant.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.47,0:01:19.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) So, you feel discouraged\Ndepending other's reactions?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.96,0:01:21.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.49,0:01:24.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) But they don't have\Nany obligation to respond.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.85,0:01:27.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) That's true, \Nbut when I have an intention
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.83,0:01:30.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but don't get the expected \Nreaction, then I feel...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.83,0:01:33.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Isn't that normal?\N(Questioner) Yes, I agree.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.93,0:01:37.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) If you think that is normal,\Nyou shouldn't feel discouraged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.94,0:01:43.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather, it seems you expect,\N"If I speak, you should respond."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.39,0:01:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel discouraged \Nwhen that expectation isn't met.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.60,0:01:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether to respond or not,\Nis their choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.28,0:01:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't expect anything,\Nthere's no need to feel discouraged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.81,0:01:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speak your piece\Nand be done.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.53,0:02:00.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have no obligation\Nto show any reactions.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.51,0:02:04.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have to force enthusiasm\Nfrom your friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.39,0:02:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are not true friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.58,0:02:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not a good way\Nto build friendships.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.79,0:02:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) I find myself separated\Nfrom the rest of the group
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.78,0:02:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while they're talking\Nand enjoying themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.92,0:02:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why is that \Nleaving you out?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.43,0:02:22.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a friend who hardly talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.88,0:02:26.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever we're together,\Nhe stays quiet but smiles.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.64,0:02:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He just complies here \Nand there with a smile.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.06,0:02:34.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He gets along with \Neveryone very well.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.37,0:02:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You either want to be\Na leader in control,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.66,0:02:41.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or desire to be the most popular\Nperson in the group.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.53,0:02:44.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not friendship.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.66,0:02:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,True friends have fun, listen, laugh, \Nand sympathize with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.51,0:02:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why does friendship need so much talking?\NWhy do you want to talk so much?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.10,0:03:06.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do you feel the need to \Ntake the lead amongst friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.85,0:03:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) It's not so much that, \Nbut, how can I say this...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.43,0:03:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be the life of the party?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.44,0:03:16.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why should you be \Nthe center of attention?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.05,0:03:18.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter)\N(Questioner) That's true.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.62,0:03:22.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Being the life of the party is\Nno different than wanting more control.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.99,0:03:26.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only difference is \Nyou are mixing in some English.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.12,0:03:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter) I can tell \Neven though I don't know English.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.58,0:03:34.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to let go of that kind of \Ndesire amongst friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.31,0:03:43.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Should you have to practice or think of\Nwhat to say before you meet your friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.03,0:03:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You shouldn't. \NIf you have nothing to say, stay quiet.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.41,0:03:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or you can listen and smile,\Nor talk if you have anything to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.18,0:03:54.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If one person mainly\Nleads the friendship,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.71,0:03:59.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or is predominantly popular, \Nthe friendship suffers.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.43,0:04:03.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship is about equality. \NThat's how friends should be.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.25,0:04:06.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does not drinking make you \Nless of a drinking buddy? Not true.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.100,0:04:12.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friends love you even if you don't drink, \Nas long as you're buying, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.95,0:04:14.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter)\NYou get that, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.87,0:04:17.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can go to \Nthose gatherings anytime,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.12,0:04:21.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,buy drinks without drinking yourself.\NThen, there are no issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.82,0:04:27.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is wrong to think that you can't be\Nfriends because you don't drink.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.76,0:04:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just like being friends \Nwith a smoker.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.43,0:04:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's now frowned upon, but back then,\Na one would carry a pack of cigarettes
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.04,0:04:41.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to offer and light up for these friends\Nwithout smoking yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.51,0:04:44.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The questioner has\Nthe wrong mindset.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.01,0:04:47.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship should be \Nbased on equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.41,0:04:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The essence of friendship\Nis equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.78,0:04:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether you're a senator\Nor holding a high position,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.46,0:05:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,flaunting wealth or status to \Nfriends breeds resentment.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.04,0:05:06.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because friendship \Nis rooted in equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.08,0:05:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, letting go of such notions \Nwould resolve any issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.68,0:05:14.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No need to talk. It's unnecessary\Nto sulk alone in a corner all day.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.63,0:05:18.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Simply make eye contact\Nand stay silent.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.17,0:05:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Always nodding along and speaking up\Nif there's something to add.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.66,0:05:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How easy is that, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.32,0:05:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) You're right, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.08,0:05:33.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Sure.\N(Audience Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.50,0:05:43.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am hope.