[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,<Essence of Friendship Is Equality>
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.16,0:00:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) I want to thank you\Nfor your helpful Dharma Talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.92,0:00:20.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.38,0:00:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) My question is, when I'm with\Nmy friends and talk to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.56,0:00:29.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is a lack of reaction,\Nwhich brings the mood down.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.04,0:00:31.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, the conversation gets boring.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.58,0:00:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I try hard to get along, \Nbut the more I try,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.61,0:00:37.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more timid \Nand withdrawn I get.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.16,0:00:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, instead of going out \Nto meet people,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.42,0:00:45.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I prefer spending time\Nalone at home.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.12,0:00:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more I try to talk with people,\NI feel more intimidated and uncomfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.14,0:00:52.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how to fix this,\Nor how to shift my perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.67,0:00:53.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my concern.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.99,0:00:57.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why do you\Nfeel intimidated?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.75,0:01:02.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) It's just...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.65,0:01:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When they seem unimpressed,\NI feel like they don't care about me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.08,0:01:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thoughts like, "Why bother?" \NI feel deflated and insignificant.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.47,0:01:19.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) So, you feel discouraged\Naccording to other's reactions?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.99,0:01:20.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.66,0:01:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) But they don't have\Nany obligation to respond.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.08,0:01:27.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) That's true, \Nbut if I have an intent
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.83,0:01:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but don't get the expected reaction, \Nthen I feel...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.68,0:01:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Isn't that normal?\N(Questioner) Yes, I agree.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.23,0:01:37.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) If you think that is normal,\Nyou shouldn't feel discouraged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.70,0:01:43.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather, it seems you expect,\N"If I speak, you should respond."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.39,0:01:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are feeling discouraged \Nwhen that expectation isn't met.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.60,0:01:51.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether to respond or not,\Nis their choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.17,0:01:54.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't expect anything,\Nthere's no need to feel discouraged.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.54,0:01:57.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speak your piece\Nand be done.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.24,0:01:59.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They are not required\Nto show reactions.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.43,0:02:04.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have to force enthusiasm\Nfrom your friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.39,0:02:07.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are not true friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.09,0:02:10.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not a good way\Nto build friendships.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.50,0:02:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) I find myself separated\Nfrom the rest of the group
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.78,0:02:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while they're talking\Nand enjoying themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.25,0:02:19.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why is that \Nleaving you out?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.08,0:02:22.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a friend who hardly talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.05,0:02:26.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever we're together,\Nhe stays quiet but smiles.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.29,0:02:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He just complies here \Nand there with a smile.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.06,0:02:33.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He mingles with \Nthe group very well.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.52,0:02:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You either want to be\Na leader in control,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.66,0:02:41.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or desire to be the most popular\Nperson in the group.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.53,0:02:44.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not friendship.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.11,0:02:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,True friends have fun, listen, laugh, \Nand sympathize with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.51,0:02:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why does friendship need so much talking?\NWhy do you want to talk so much?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.10,0:03:06.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do you feel the need to \Ntake the lead amongst friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.85,0:03:11.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) It's not so much that, \Nbut, how can I say this...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.76,0:03:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be the life of the party?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.44,0:03:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Why should you be \Nthe center of attention?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.84,0:03:18.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter)\N(Questioner) That's true.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.20,0:03:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Being the life of the party is\Nno different than wanting more control.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.42,0:03:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only difference is \Nyou are mixing in some English.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.79,0:03:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience Laughter) I can tell \Neven though I don't know English.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.58,0:03:34.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to let go of that kind of \Ndesire amongst friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.31,0:03:43.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Should you have to practice or think of\Nwhat to say before you meet your friend?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.03,0:03:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You shouldn't. \NIf you have nothing to say, stay quiet.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.41,0:03:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or you can listen and smile,\Nor talk if you have anything to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.94,0:03:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Between friends, one does\Nnot have to lead.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.24,0:03:59.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seeking to lead, control, or \Ngain popularity, friendships suffer.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.68,0:04:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship is about equality, \Nthat's what friendship is.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.74,0:04:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not drinking doesn't make you \Nany less of a friend.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.20,0:04:07.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a lie to say otherwise \Nto a drinking buddy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.54,0:04:10.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if you don't touch a drop, \Nas long as you're paying for it,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.64,0:04:13.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're happy, right? \N(Audience laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.85,0:04:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can go to those gatherings \Nanytime and pay for the drinks
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.40,0:04:20.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without having to drink yourself.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.05,0:04:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But thinking that \Nnot being able to drink
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.08,0:04:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes someone a bad friend \Nis completely wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.67,0:04:29.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just as there are friends \Nwho smoke even if you don't.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.46,0:04:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There used to be \Nmany who smoked.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.43,0:04:37.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If someone wants to smoke \Nand you don't mind,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.16,0:04:40.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can light their cigarette \Nfor them without smoking yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.53,0:04:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The questioner has\Nthe wrong mindset.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.35,0:04:47.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship should be \Nbased on equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.41,0:04:49.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The essence of friendship\Nis equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.53,0:04:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether you're a senator\Nor holding a high position,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.46,0:05:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,flaunting wealth or status to \Nfriends breeds resentment.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.62,0:05:06.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friendship is rooted in equality, \Nso letting go of such notions
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.08,0:05:10.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would resolve any issues.\NIt's unnecessary to sulk alone
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.16,0:05:13.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a corner all day.\NIf you don't feel like speaking,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.32,0:05:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,simply make eye \Ncontact and stay silent.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.42,0:05:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Always nodding along \Nand speaking if asked.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.31,0:05:27.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this difficult to do?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.02,0:05:29.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Questioner) You're right, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.83,0:05:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sunim) Sure.\N(Audience Applause)