[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.60,0:00:04.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression is one of the \Nmost poorly understood
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.32,0:00:05.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conditions on the planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.96,0:00:07.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All experts weigh in
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.83,0:00:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what the cause is
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.34,0:00:11.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cures of this situation is,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.87,0:00:13.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the thing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.18,0:00:15.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that most of what they say
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.54,0:00:17.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is all over the map.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.23,0:00:19.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And often, is contradictory.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.72,0:00:22.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this can lead to people who\Nare suffering from depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.78,0:00:24.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling even more depressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.92,0:00:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before I get into this episode,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.67,0:00:28.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I'm going to weigh in,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.53,0:00:31.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what actually is causing \Ndepression how to cure it,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.24,0:00:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to say that depression \Nis not a character flaw,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.99,0:00:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,depression is not a weakness
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.02,0:00:41.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it is not something that \Npeople should be ashamed of.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.81,0:00:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if I told you that you \Ncould understand depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.58,0:00:47.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you understood a single sentence.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.71,0:00:50.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna give you \Nthat sentence now,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.04,0:00:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm going to actually use \Nthe remainder of this episode
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.31,0:00:55.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to fully explain this in depth,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.100,0:00:58.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as well as what to do about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.29,0:00:59.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sentence is this:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.97,0:01:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a big difference \Nbetween resisting futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.83,0:01:07.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and accepting futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.87,0:01:16.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.18,0:01:20.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything that you feel has a cause.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.30,0:01:22.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dysfunctional brain chemicals
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.41,0:01:24.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or imbalance of brain chemicals,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.34,0:01:27.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not a cause, it's a symptom.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.22,0:01:29.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to understand that,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.05,0:01:33.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before we go deeper into the \Nactual cause of depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.07,0:01:36.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are creators at our core.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.48,0:01:37.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I mean by that is that
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.97,0:01:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are designed to come into \Nour physical time-space reality
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.93,0:01:44.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to create the life \Nwe specifically want.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.92,0:01:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we can't do this,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.73,0:01:50.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then how we feel is that we \Ncannot create personal expansion,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.67,0:01:52.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we cannot fulfill our needs
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.48,0:01:55.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we cannot fulfill our desires.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.60,0:01:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This defies the entire \Npurpose of even being here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.74,0:02:01.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically when we can't do this,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.78,0:02:04.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we feel completely powerless.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.39,0:02:08.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression is caused by \Na situation in our life
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.58,0:02:09.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(or many)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.76,0:02:12.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being something where no \Nmatter how many times we try
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.44,0:02:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and try and try,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.82,0:02:16.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we cannot cause it to \Nturn into what we want,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.44,0:02:18.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what would meet our needs.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.88,0:02:21.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Therefore we feel it is futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.69,0:02:24.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Futility and depression \Nare synonymous.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.94,0:02:27.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what you will find is that life
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.63,0:02:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.65,0:02:33.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're talking about your "work life"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.90,0:02:35.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you're really talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.66,0:02:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the relationship that you have
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.72,0:02:39.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the people you work with,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.47,0:02:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bosses,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.64,0:02:42.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,colleagues,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.37,0:02:43.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any of the above.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.90,0:02:46.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you're talking about "home life",
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.21,0:02:47.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you're really talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.88,0:02:49.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is also relationships,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.62,0:02:53.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but this time with parents, \Nsiblings, children, spouse...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.04,0:02:55.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here's the thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.18,0:02:57.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even when you're talking \Nabout a futile situation
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.90,0:02:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that has to do with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.88,0:03:01.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's still a relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.89,0:03:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a relationship between \Ntwo parts of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.02,0:03:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's: "I feel futility
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.25,0:03:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the part of me that \Ncontinues to behave in this way."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.25,0:03:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's still a relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.79,0:03:14.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, Fundamentally,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.67,0:03:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we go even deeper
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.28,0:03:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we drill this down \Nto the root of the root,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.55,0:03:20.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is what depression is about.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.90,0:03:23.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This futility of depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.19,0:03:25.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that you perceive
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.06,0:03:28.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that in order for something to \Nbecome what you want and need,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.35,0:03:30.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you need cooperation
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.29,0:03:32.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from other people \Ninvolved in this situation
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.62,0:03:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or other parts of yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.59,0:03:37.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you can't \Ncreate it or change it
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.66,0:03:40.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by yourself or despite yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.60,0:03:43.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But they will not collaborate
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.32,0:03:44.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cooperate.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.92,0:03:47.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Therefore this incapacity \Nto change the situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.67,0:03:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you can't do \Nanything about it,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.16,0:03:52.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes your self-esteem \Ngo out the window.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.46,0:03:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you perceive yourself \Nto be forced to surrender
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.92,0:03:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the tortured endedness,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.59,0:03:58.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the fact that your \Nlife is suffering.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.70,0:04:00.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is pure futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.58,0:04:03.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is terrifying to learn that \Nyou cannot make someone
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.53,0:04:05.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take your best interest \Nas part of their own,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.74,0:04:08.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and collaborate toward you \Nfeeling good in a given situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.73,0:04:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This causes anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.12,0:04:13.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this anxiety is \Nsimply the first phase
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.63,0:04:16.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before someone hits \Na sense of futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.14,0:04:19.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is what makes \Ndepression, depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.72,0:04:22.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you hit that phase of futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.32,0:04:24.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of accepting that futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.61,0:04:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you resist it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.66,0:04:29.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Part of you does not give up.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.95,0:04:32.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even though you see it's futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.87,0:04:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what this does,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.38,0:04:36.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you're so heavily identified,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.73,0:04:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with that part that is so separated
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.97,0:04:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from what you really \Nwant and really need,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.15,0:04:46.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is almost like you're not \Nlost in the darkness,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.08,0:04:48.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are the darkness.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.30,0:04:50.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To comprehend the \Nway this works,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.13,0:04:52.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to imagine \Nsomebody who is
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.25,0:04:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of a gate,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.77,0:04:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this gate is blocking them \Nfrom getting to a village
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.96,0:04:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they really want to get into.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.63,0:05:02.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this person will try every way
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.95,0:05:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they can possibly try
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.54,0:05:07.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get through this gate \Nand into the village,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.30,0:05:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until it dawns on them,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.14,0:05:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it isn't happening.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.22,0:05:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.98,0:05:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At this point they sit down.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.41,0:05:18.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what they do sitting down,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.31,0:05:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is they emotionally
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.84,0:05:23.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resist the fact that \Nthat gate is closed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.44,0:05:26.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because in them there's \Nactually a hope
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.94,0:05:29.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that even though it's completely \Nout of their control,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.91,0:05:31.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one day,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.47,0:05:32.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.63,0:05:34.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it might happen.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.63,0:05:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, that suffering and darkness
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.52,0:05:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is just something you \Nhave to hang on through.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.50,0:05:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now all of this is done
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.48,0:05:45.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as opposed to accepting \Nthe futility of the situation
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.36,0:05:47.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and going to find another village.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.55,0:05:49.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What you have to \Nsee is that part of you
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.60,0:05:51.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not willing to let go completely.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.56,0:05:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You refuse to cut your losses.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.77,0:05:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're so tied to the images of \Nhow you need something to be,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.08,0:05:59.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you won't give up on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.16,0:06:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This resistance to the futility itself,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.96,0:06:04.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is what makes you so \Nexhausted all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.27,0:06:06.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also keeps you stuck in futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.83,0:06:08.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you live in a \Ntime-space reality
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.82,0:06:10.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,based on the law of mirroring.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.62,0:06:12.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatever you resist persists.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.77,0:06:15.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now people who are \Nsuffering from depression
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.10,0:06:17.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they really look at \Nthis dynamic of depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.95,0:06:21.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,come up with reasons why \Nthey can't cut their losses.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.24,0:06:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what they \Nhave to do, in fact,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.94,0:06:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to even get out of depression is to \Nrealize that it's actually a choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.10,0:06:29.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a big difference between: \N"I can't" and "I choose not to."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.27,0:06:31.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of times when we say \N"can't" it just means that
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.81,0:06:35.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I literally am in a situation where \Nit feels like so much of a lose-lose
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.25,0:06:37.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it's not really a \Nchoice even though it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.55,0:06:38.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the thing;
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.88,0:06:40.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one knows better \Nthan me, that you have
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.95,0:06:45.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely valid reasons to \Nnever be able to cut your losses.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.17,0:06:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the thing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.62,0:06:49.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is you also have to see that it \Nkeeps you powerless forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.99,0:06:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's critical to become aware of
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.78,0:06:55.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just what you are so attached \Nto that you can't let go of.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.49,0:06:58.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By accepting that it \Nwill never come to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.10,0:06:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are you afraid will happen,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.85,0:07:03.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you accept it is and \Nalways will be futile?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.26,0:07:05.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's at this point that it's \Nworth it to mention
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.57,0:07:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that some people actually \Nuse depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.59,0:07:09.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a way of avoiding suicide.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.49,0:07:10.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that's funny,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.76,0:07:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cuz most people think \Ndepression leads to suicide,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.63,0:07:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but actually depression is \Na way of avoiding suicide,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.16,0:07:16.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for as long as it works.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.82,0:07:18.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of this;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.10,0:07:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most people are afraid that \Nif they really cut their losses
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.94,0:07:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and really accept the \Nfutility instead of resist it,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.66,0:07:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accept that that thing \Nthat they can't let go of,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.25,0:07:29.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will never come to be in the way \Nthey want it to come to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.79,0:07:32.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A great majority of people think:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.03,0:07:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know, if I had to accept that,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.96,0:07:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would have no reason to live."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.18,0:07:39.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"In fact, I'd wanna die."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.37,0:07:42.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, they would see no future anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.05,0:07:44.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this often happens because
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.15,0:07:47.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of times when we suffer \Nfrom chronic depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.42,0:07:49.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have the kind of personality
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.39,0:07:51.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we want what we want,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.23,0:07:53.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we want it in \Na very specific way.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.18,0:07:55.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we can't see that \Nthat thing we want
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.24,0:07:57.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can come through any other way.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.70,0:07:58.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.84,0:08:01.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I work with a lot of people \Nwho struggle with depression
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.22,0:08:03.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's like: "Well I want \Nlove from that one person,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.81,0:08:06.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everything else is just \Nlike a crappy substitute."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.38,0:08:09.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So, unless that one \Nperson loves me,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.57,0:08:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a situation where quite literally \Nthey don't and so it's futile,"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.16,0:08:15.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I don't want to live anymore."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.44,0:08:18.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I know that it's hard \Nif you've never experienced
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.78,0:08:21.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the meeting of a need, \Nany other way,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.78,0:08:23.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to know that this universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.90,0:08:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is full of unlimited potentials.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.09,0:08:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm not asking you overnight
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.15,0:08:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to just get: "Well, if you \Njust walked away
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.44,0:08:33.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from that village gate there \Nwould be another village."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.10,0:08:34.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of you are like:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.25,0:08:35.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know that there's \Nany other village,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.93,0:08:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could be wandering the desert \Nfor the length of a Bible."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.76,0:08:40.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But even that
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.46,0:08:42.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can be an excuse that you use
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.47,0:08:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to not cut your losses and \Nto not accept futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.72,0:08:47.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this means,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.02,0:08:49.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's what you're gonna \Nhave to see eventually,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.50,0:08:52.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're actually committed to a dead end.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.22,0:08:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a common assumption
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.06,0:08:58.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that depression is synonymous \Nwith suppression.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.24,0:08:59.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is both true,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.86,0:09:01.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not true.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.47,0:09:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reason is,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.66,0:09:04.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that most people, \Nwhen they suppress,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.70,0:09:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're suppressing \Nbecause by suppressing,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.04,0:09:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they do get something \Nthat they actually need.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.73,0:09:10.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.88,0:09:13.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm in a relationship where \Nanother person's not okay
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.52,0:09:15.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with my anger and I \Nwant a good relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.77,0:09:19.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so if I suppress, I can have a peaceful \Nrelationship with this person.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.12,0:09:21.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, we all know that \Ndoesn't work long-term.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.27,0:09:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the suppression is \Nstill not ending in futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.31,0:09:27.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what makes depression \Nso different from this,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.63,0:09:30.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that a person with depression\Nis often suppressing,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.84,0:09:33.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not because they're \Nactively suppressing,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.09,0:09:35.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(it's not actually getting them anything).
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.16,0:09:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What it is, is that\Nafter years of trying
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.58,0:09:40.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get that thing that they \Nneed and want so badly
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.16,0:09:42.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to come to fruition, \Nand it not working,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.74,0:09:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through expression,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.41,0:09:47.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they realize there's \Nno freaking point.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.28,0:09:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anytime they expressed themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.17,0:09:51.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what they needed \Nand what they wanted
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.22,0:09:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and anytime they \Nexpress themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.92,0:09:55.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to try to get somebody to \Nchange something they were doing
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.26,0:09:57.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that that could \Nmanifest in their life,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.49,0:09:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.12,0:10:01.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, this means, that a person \Nends up in a situation
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.99,0:10:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where why would I scream,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.06,0:10:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if there was no one \Nthere to hear me?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.42,0:10:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, this means that a person \Nhas to suppress their truth
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.14,0:10:11.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and be inauthentic.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.68,0:10:15.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's a very different flavor \Nthan normal suppression.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.36,0:10:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The flavor of it is,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.72,0:10:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's no point.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.04,0:10:20.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's at this point,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.31,0:10:21.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I have to explain
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.66,0:10:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this is a reason why \Nthere's such a high rate
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.14,0:10:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of depression in childhood.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.46,0:10:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because childhood is actually prison.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.31,0:10:32.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't like to look at it that way,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.57,0:10:34.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's how it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.02,0:10:37.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you can't leave \Nyour childhood home,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.40,0:10:39.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unless someone rescues you from it,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.73,0:10:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and most people aren't \Ngoing to do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.76,0:10:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because most people are gonna \Nrecognize a home as being:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.46,0:10:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"a loving home" as long as \Ncertain needs are provided,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.60,0:10:49.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you're a captive.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.45,0:10:51.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your experience
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.02,0:10:54.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and your capacity to bring \Nabout what you desire,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.13,0:10:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is totally dependent \Nupon your keepers.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.92,0:11:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means, if you have a parent \Nwho is not willing to cooperate,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.14,0:11:04.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by helping the child
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.24,0:11:06.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,line up with what they desire
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.27,0:11:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and need and want,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.84,0:11:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that child is powerless.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.91,0:11:11.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.78,0:11:15.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now here is where the spiral \Nof depression gets even worse.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.39,0:11:19.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if you are unwilling to \Naccept that something is futile,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.20,0:11:21.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to redirect your attention
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.19,0:11:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards any other way to \Nmeet those needs and desires,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.65,0:11:27.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then what you have to do is to stay
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.51,0:11:29.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a situation that is futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.49,0:11:30.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.75,0:11:34.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to actually \Nbetray a part of yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.30,0:11:35.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So actually,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.100,0:11:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is this refusal to accept the \Nfutility of a given situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.28,0:11:42.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that causes an internal \Nwar to begin.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.27,0:11:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what do you \Nknow about betrayal?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.85,0:11:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When one person \Nbetrays another person,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.30,0:11:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't that person usually \Nreally really angry?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.37,0:11:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is how this part \Nof you actually feels.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.76,0:11:58.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you take an action \Nto stay in a futile situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.34,0:12:02.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and betray it in ways to \Nadapt to that futile situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.22,0:12:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that part that is inside you
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.93,0:12:06.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wants you to freaking die.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.24,0:12:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Emotionally, it feels like self digestion.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.06,0:12:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who struggle \Nwith depression are both
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.02,0:12:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely unaware of free will,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.19,0:12:16.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yet damaged by \Nfree will all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.76,0:12:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what I mean by that:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.47,0:12:20.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The majority of people who \Nstruggle from depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.98,0:12:23.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they feel like it is actually \Ntheir responsibility
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.40,0:12:25.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try to get other people
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.57,0:12:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and circumstances \Noutside their control,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.05,0:12:30.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to align,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.64,0:12:33.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that they can create what \Nthey desire and want.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.19,0:12:35.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words, they \Nexpect themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.01,0:12:38.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be able to control those conditions \Nthat are uncontrollable.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.03,0:12:40.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when they can't control \Nthose uncontrollable conditions,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.90,0:12:43.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes them feel like \Ncrap about themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.32,0:12:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the same time they're \Nacutely aware of free will.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.70,0:12:47.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.58,0:12:50.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it's obvious that when \Nsomebody else has free will,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.98,0:12:53.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are not going to \Ntake your interests
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.10,0:12:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and best interest into consideration,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.89,0:12:57.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're going to do \Nexactly what they want.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.35,0:13:01.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if it's in the exact opposite \Ndirection of your actual desires.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.19,0:13:03.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically your pain
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.80,0:13:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that no one seems to \Nbe willing to participate
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.17,0:13:08.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in creating your version \Nof a feel-good life.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.41,0:13:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel like people \Nare all taking action
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.11,0:13:12.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intentionally or unintentionally
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.87,0:13:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and often idiotically as if oblivious,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.51,0:13:17.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against it.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.04,0:13:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You hate them for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.92,0:13:20.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do you hate something?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.68,0:13:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it hurts you.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.14,0:13:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It hurts you that it \Nseems in your life,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.16,0:13:27.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that nobody will use their free will
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.08,0:13:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to take your best interest \Nin continued consideration,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.98,0:13:32.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to actually collaborate
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.43,0:13:36.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cooperate to create a life \Nthat would feel good to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.96,0:13:39.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also because you don't see the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.35,0:13:41.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you are internally fragmented,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.32,0:13:43.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it doesn't make a sense to you,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.17,0:13:45.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why you oftentimes
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.84,0:13:48.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't do what's in your \Nown best interests.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.25,0:13:52.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Talk about an atmosphere and \Na climate of self distrust.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.73,0:13:56.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But because you're \Nunwilling to accept this
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.89,0:14:00.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and unwilling to accept the futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.51,0:14:02.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically it puts you in a position
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.61,0:14:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of painfully just waiting \Nfor it to change one day.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.04,0:14:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the thing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.34,0:14:11.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that that waiting just gets \Nmore and more and more
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.88,0:14:13.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more painful.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.04,0:14:14.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because as those years go on,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.81,0:14:17.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it just is proven to you \Nover and over and over
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.90,0:14:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and over again,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.38,0:14:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how futile situation is.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.100,0:14:25.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the third aspect of \Nthe depression spiral
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.39,0:14:27.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sets in at this point.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.11,0:14:29.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You look around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.01,0:14:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you realize:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.68,0:14:34.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No one else seems \Nto feel as futile I do."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.25,0:14:36.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Great."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.57,0:14:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You make it mean \Nsomething about yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.13,0:14:42.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"There must be something \Nseriously wrong with me
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.39,0:14:44.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I can't feel good."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.34,0:14:47.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the third aspect of this \Nwhole depression cycle
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.51,0:14:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will set in.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.56,0:14:50.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it looks like this:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.11,0:14:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're looking around your \Nlife and you're realizing:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:52.97,0:14:56.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No one else seems \Nto feel as futile as I do."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.65,0:15:00.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Happiness seems to be \Nworking for everyone else."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.40,0:15:02.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you make \Nit mean something.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.61,0:15:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Something must be seriously wrong \Nwith me because I can't feel good."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.67,0:15:08.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's what's \Nactually happening:
Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.60,0:15:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the magnitude \Nof the amount
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.47,0:15:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you care about this situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.46,0:15:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coupled with the magnitude \Nof futility in that situation
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.22,0:15:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you care so much about,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.85,0:15:18.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing all these things
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.19,0:15:20.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would technically \Nmake someone feel better,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.65,0:15:23.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know isn't gonna \Nchange that situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.67,0:15:27.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be like throwing a \Ntic-tac at a charging rhino.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.38,0:15:29.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or trying to celebrate \Nan ice cream sundae,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.83,0:15:32.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you know there's an \Nasteroid headed towards Earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.62,0:15:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or it's like someone coming up \Nand showing you a comedy skit
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.96,0:15:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when someone you loved to death is \Ndying in a deathbed in the hospital.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.86,0:15:41.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're gonna look \Nat that and be like:
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.89,0:15:44.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This is ridiculous at this point."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.09,0:15:46.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, you're aware \Nthat these little things
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.40,0:15:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are not gonna make this \Nbigger issue any better.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.20,0:15:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Having said all this,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.42,0:15:52.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what I'm about to say is \Ngonna make a lot of people
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.88,0:15:54.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really angry,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.13,0:15:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I've got to say it.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.86,0:15:58.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression is actually a \Nrelationship dysfunction.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.87,0:16:01.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most people don't want \Nto see the depression
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.05,0:16:03.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as not chemically caused \Nmental illness,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.80,0:16:06.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(remember that the imbalance \Nof chemicals is the symptom)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.87,0:16:09.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but is the result of \Nrelationship dysfunction.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.26,0:16:12.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because most people don't want \Nto admit to the futility itself,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.36,0:16:14.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the relationships \Nthey have in life.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.66,0:16:17.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They would rather make \Nit about how they feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.34,0:16:18.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.63,0:16:21.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to sit there and focus on \Nthe chemical components
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.45,0:16:23.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of your mind and how \Nthey're going wrong,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.43,0:16:25.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what you can do to fix that,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.05,0:16:27.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is actually a coping \Nmechanism in and of itself.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.70,0:16:30.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why? Be really honest with yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.33,0:16:33.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels more empowering and less futile
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.35,0:16:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to focus on something
Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.94,0:16:37.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can improve about \Nyour own brain,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.03,0:16:38.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than it is to try to fix
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.45,0:16:40.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the relationship dysfunctions \Nin your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.83,0:16:42.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially when you're \Nsurrounded by people
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.94,0:16:45.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who seem so completely \Nunable to cooperate
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.56,0:16:47.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in creating anything \Nthat feels good to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.79,0:16:49.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now death, you think \Nyou have me there, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.100,0:16:52.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of people slip into \Nthis pattern of depression
Dialogue: 0,0:16:52.48,0:16:53.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after they lose someone,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.90,0:16:56.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is still a relationship \Ndysfunction. This is why:
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.67,0:16:58.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Understandably, \Nwhen someone dies,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.50,0:17:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it takes a while to accept it, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.26,0:17:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes a while to \Naccept the futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.02,0:17:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The futility being, this person \Nis never gonna come back.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.72,0:17:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So there's a huge period \Nthere were you're feeling
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.97,0:17:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually, really angry \Nthat that dead person
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.91,0:17:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,died in the first place,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.34,0:17:13.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and isn't really collaborating anymore
Dialogue: 0,0:17:13.32,0:17:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on creating this life you had \Nin mind for you and them.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.96,0:17:18.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a second form of coping
Dialogue: 0,0:17:18.09,0:17:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this actually gets us,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.67,0:17:21.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we have depression \Nand we focus
Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.72,0:17:23.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the chemical component
Dialogue: 0,0:17:23.54,0:17:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the dysfunction \Nthat we're experiencing.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:26.19,0:17:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.78,0:17:30.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that maybe, just maybe,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.100,0:17:33.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if people see that we're \Nnot doing good
Dialogue: 0,0:17:33.01,0:17:35.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that we have something \Nactually wrong with us,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:35.58,0:17:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they might actually cooperate,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.12,0:17:40.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if it is because of pity,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.25,0:17:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enough to stop antagonizing
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.51,0:17:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our creation of what \Nwe want and need.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:46.49,0:17:47.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.47,0:17:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to say it's your choice
Dialogue: 0,0:17:50.32,0:17:53.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether you decide to use\Nantidepressant medication
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.16,0:17:53.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to begin with.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.94,0:17:56.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have huge issues with \Nanti depression meds,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:58.15,0:17:59.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a lot of different reasons,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.97,0:18:02.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but some people seem to like them.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:02.15,0:18:04.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reason that I'm \Nnot going to propose
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.14,0:18:05.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anti-depression medication,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:05.86,0:18:07.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a treatment for depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.60,0:18:10.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because it's like \Nshutting up the voice
Dialogue: 0,0:18:10.30,0:18:14.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's screaming about what it \Nactually needs to do to heal.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.55,0:18:17.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes painkillers have a purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.100,0:18:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If they work for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:19.32,0:18:22.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes that purpose is to take \Nthe edge off the pain enough
Dialogue: 0,0:18:22.61,0:18:25.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to let you focus on \Nthe actual root cause
Dialogue: 0,0:18:25.36,0:18:27.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of an issue so as to change it.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.44,0:18:30.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But thinking that any \Ntype of depression med
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.54,0:18:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is going to cure depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:32.22,0:18:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is thinking that if you \Nclip a little bit of a stem,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.02,0:18:37.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's coming out of the ground,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.65,0:18:39.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it's never going \Nto grow back again.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:39.55,0:18:40.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:40.55,0:18:41.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The root is there.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.69,0:18:43.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All that being said,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:43.57,0:18:46.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what should you do if you \Nare dealing with depression?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:46.61,0:18:47.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#1.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:48.04,0:18:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Face your futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.61,0:18:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Overcoming depression is all about
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.16,0:18:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,admitting to and recognizing
Dialogue: 0,0:18:56.36,0:19:00.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the fact that you actually\Nfeel complete futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:01.25,0:19:05.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Facing those situations \Nthat are causing the futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.96,0:19:09.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resolving the situation that \Nis causing you futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.64,0:19:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even and especially
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.48,0:19:14.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when that means accepting the futility
Dialogue: 0,0:19:14.35,0:19:17.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can focus on getting \Nthat thing somewhere else.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.73,0:19:21.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet again, this could be one \Nsituation or multiple situations,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:21.28,0:19:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but right now, I want \Nyou to look at your life
Dialogue: 0,0:19:23.24,0:19:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through this lens of futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.14,0:19:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now that you're consciously aware of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:28.03,0:19:29.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How in my life,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.25,0:19:32.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,am I feeling completely futile?"
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.85,0:19:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People often never get \Nout of depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:35.36,0:19:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because all of the strategies they use
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.10,0:19:41.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are to try to make a \Nfutile situation not futile,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.01,0:19:45.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of accept that \Nthat situation is futile,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.18,0:19:48.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and trying to get those needs and \Ndesires met in some other way.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:48.98,0:19:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, they try to resolve things
Dialogue: 0,0:19:50.97,0:19:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in all of the futility resistant ways \Nthat they can possibly think of,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:55.16,0:19:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of facing the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:19:57.06,0:20:00.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the non acceptance of the futility
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.85,0:20:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.88,0:20:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is also why fighting depression
Dialogue: 0,0:20:05.62,0:20:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the dumbest thing you can do.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:08.47,0:20:12.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like resisting the resistance
Dialogue: 0,0:20:12.37,0:20:13.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.59,0:20:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,~ Laughter ~
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.11,0:20:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#2.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.96,0:20:19.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do the completion process \Nwith the feeling of futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.26,0:20:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,specifically.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:20.52,0:20:22.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you feel futility in your life,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:22.36,0:20:24.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this is what's causing \Nyour depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.53,0:20:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then it is about the futility \Nin a current situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:27.92,0:20:30.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but what you have to accept and see,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:30.54,0:20:33.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that that futility in \Nthe current situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:33.40,0:20:36.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is in fact a repeat or reflection,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.29,0:20:40.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a likewise scenario of futility
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.90,0:20:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that occurred in your childhood.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:42.92,0:20:44.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a repetitive pattern.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:45.19,0:20:47.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, we've got to resolve the root.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:48.85,0:20:51.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I want you to learn \Nthe completion process.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.37,0:20:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to do this,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:52.95,0:20:55.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my best suggestion is to \Npick up a copy of my book
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.39,0:20:57.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is quite literally titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.24,0:20:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Completion Process
Dialogue: 0,0:20:58.98,0:21:01.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you don't want \Nto do it by yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:01.15,0:21:03.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you want to be led \Nthrough the process,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:03.05,0:21:04.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can find a practitioner
Dialogue: 0,0:21:04.94,0:21:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to lead you through this process at
Dialogue: 0,0:21:07.19,0:21:09.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,www.thecompletionprocess.com
Dialogue: 0,0:21:09.66,0:21:10.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#3.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:10.54,0:21:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to work directly
Dialogue: 0,0:21:12.00,0:21:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the part of you \Nthat resists the futility
Dialogue: 0,0:21:14.46,0:21:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and refuses to cut your losses.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:16.47,0:21:19.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the part that continues \Nto keep you adapting
Dialogue: 0,0:21:19.12,0:21:22.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the futile situation in ways \Nthat are detrimental to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:22.22,0:21:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this sets up a pattern of \Nself-hate and internal anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:25.77,0:21:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, work with a part of you \Nthat is opposite of that one.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:28.64,0:21:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't even need to know \Nwhat that part is specifically.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:31.15,0:21:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can simply say:
Dialogue: 0,0:21:32.31,0:21:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I choose with my free will to \Nbecome the opposite part
Dialogue: 0,0:21:34.59,0:21:36.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the one that refuses \Nto accept the futility
Dialogue: 0,0:21:36.43,0:21:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cut my losses."
Dialogue: 0,0:21:37.72,0:21:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And allow yourself to \Nreally be overtaken
Dialogue: 0,0:21:39.50,0:21:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the energy of \Nthat part of yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:41.68,0:21:44.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To understand how to work with a \Nfragment of your own consciousness
Dialogue: 0,0:21:44.38,0:21:45.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like this, watch my video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:21:45.98,0:21:48.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fragmentation (The Worldwide Disease)
Dialogue: 0,0:21:48.15,0:21:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also to increase the understanding \Nabout the internally focused anger
Dialogue: 0,0:21:51.58,0:21:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is created by this part of \Nyou, watch my video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:21:54.12,0:21:56.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bulldozing (The Way To Ruin \NYour Relationship With Yourself)
Dialogue: 0,0:21:56.80,0:21:59.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,4. Having accepted the futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:59.52,0:22:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have got to find different \Nways to move forward
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.03,0:22:04.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get those needs and desires met
Dialogue: 0,0:22:04.99,0:22:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in different ways that \Naren't dependent upon
Dialogue: 0,0:22:07.23,0:22:09.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the futile elements of that situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:10.35,0:22:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do something new.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.24,0:22:15.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look for the options that you DO have.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.45,0:22:17.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We get so stuck and \Nlocked in depression
Dialogue: 0,0:22:17.92,0:22:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we are so focused \Non what isn't there
Dialogue: 0,0:22:20.53,0:22:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what isn't happening.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:22.21,0:22:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The gate isn't opening.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:24.76,0:22:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of looking for a gate that's open.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:28.20,0:22:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Resisting a futile situation,\Nputs you in a rut in life.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:31.67,0:22:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is why it \Ncan be so beneficial,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.59,0:22:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you're struggling from \Ndepression, to just make a change.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:36.10,0:22:39.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'll tell you something, the more \Ndrastic the change the better.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:39.43,0:22:41.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression is all about focusing
Dialogue: 0,0:22:41.99,0:22:45.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what you can't change and refusing \Nto accept you can't change it.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:45.21,0:22:47.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of focusing on something else,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:47.32,0:22:48.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or doing something else.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:49.59,0:22:51.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I want you to ask \Nyourself this question:
Dialogue: 0,0:22:51.68,0:22:55.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If I accepted that what I want \Nis never and I mean NEVER,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:55.75,0:22:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to happen,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:57.22,0:22:59.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would I do then or instead?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:59.99,0:23:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know you've heard about \Nthis type of scenario before.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:02.52,0:23:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's this thing:
Dialogue: 0,0:23:03.56,0:23:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you stop focusing on \Nthe door that's closed,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:06.02,0:23:09.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only then, do you see one of \Nthe windows that's open.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:09.27,0:23:12.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It may be hard for you to believe \Nthat your needs and desires
Dialogue: 0,0:23:12.33,0:23:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can be met in any other situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.47,0:23:17.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or even that any other \Nsituation actually exists.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:17.47,0:23:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:18.90,0:23:20.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to watch \Nmy video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:23:20.93,0:23:22.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Zebra and The Watering Hole
Dialogue: 0,0:23:22.93,0:23:25.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, I want you watch \Nmy video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:23:25.52,0:23:27.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to Meet Your Unmet Needs
Dialogue: 0,0:23:28.03,0:23:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,5. You must develop
Dialogue: 0,0:23:30.81,0:23:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,safe relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:33.73,0:23:36.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression is first and foremost \Nrelationship dysfunction.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:37.22,0:23:40.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dysfunction in terms of your \Nrelationship with people
Dialogue: 0,0:23:40.29,0:23:42.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in your external life, \Nand any sector of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:42.59,0:23:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and relationship dysfunction
Dialogue: 0,0:23:44.96,0:23:46.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between your internal parts.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:47.13,0:23:49.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The specific dysfunction here,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:49.39,0:23:51.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that because of the \Nlack of collaboration,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:52.64,0:23:55.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you find it very hard to \Ncreate the life you want.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:55.40,0:23:57.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most specifically,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:57.07,0:23:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is powerlessness and unsafety
Dialogue: 0,0:23:58.98,0:24:00.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when no one will be an ally,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:00.75,0:24:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the creating of the \Nlife you desire and need.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:03.50,0:24:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means you need \Nto go to places
Dialogue: 0,0:24:05.88,0:24:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where people see, hear, \Nfeel and understand you.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:08.67,0:24:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to heal the trauma
Dialogue: 0,0:24:10.79,0:24:12.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of no one choosing to align with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:12.71,0:24:14.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to participate
Dialogue: 0,0:24:14.28,0:24:17.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in what you wanted and needed \Nto create for your own happiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:18.11,0:24:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is part of \Naccepting the futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:20.35,0:24:23.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To do this you have \Ngot to stop trying
Dialogue: 0,0:24:23.31,0:24:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get people who have no \Ninterest in doing this with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:26.09,0:24:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to do this with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:27.36,0:24:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:28.60,0:24:31.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the most important \Nvideos you will ever watch,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:31.50,0:24:33.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a video that I did called:
Dialogue: 0,0:24:33.77,0:24:36.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to Create a Safe Relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:36.19,0:24:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also depression is an \Nintensely isolating experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:40.02,0:24:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For so many different reasons.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:42.51,0:24:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A) Because it was set up
Dialogue: 0,0:24:44.41,0:24:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by that relationship\Ndysfunction to begin with.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:46.94,0:24:49.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,B) Because the more you see
Dialogue: 0,0:24:49.04,0:24:51.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how unhappy you are versus \Nhow happy everyone else is,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:51.85,0:24:53.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more alone you feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:53.87,0:24:57.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,C ) It makes you isolate.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:57.82,0:24:58.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:58.92,0:25:01.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to pick up a copy \Nof my book that is called:
Dialogue: 0,0:25:01.58,0:25:03.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Anatomy of Loneliness
Dialogue: 0,0:25:03.37,0:25:04.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This book breaks down
Dialogue: 0,0:25:04.77,0:25:07.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what the actual elements \Nof loneliness are,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:07.17,0:25:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what is causing it,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.47,0:25:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how to go from a state of \Nloneliness to a state of connection.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:11.36,0:25:13.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,6. The more little things you can do
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.88,0:25:15.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have control over your life,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:15.81,0:25:18.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you feel like you can create
Dialogue: 0,0:25:18.25,0:25:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a life that is a mirror
Dialogue: 0,0:25:20.32,0:25:22.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and match to your desires \Nand needs the better.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:22.81,0:25:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this is where most \Npeople go wrong with it,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:25.60,0:25:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the majority of advice
Dialogue: 0,0:25:28.15,0:25:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people give or tips \Nfor how to cure depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:31.44,0:25:33.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are done to try to \Nmake you feel better.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:33.69,0:25:36.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop actually focusing \Non trying to feel better.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:37.21,0:25:39.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead start trying to focus on
Dialogue: 0,0:25:39.43,0:25:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what makes you feel a \Nlittle bit more empowered,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:42.13,0:25:43.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little bit less powerless,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:43.89,0:25:45.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little bit more capable
Dialogue: 0,0:25:45.59,0:25:48.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of doing things and being in situations
Dialogue: 0,0:25:48.15,0:25:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where your needs will be met,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:50.38,0:25:52.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of
Dialogue: 0,0:25:52.12,0:25:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,situations that cause futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:53.88,0:25:56.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the majority of advice
Dialogue: 0,0:25:56.84,0:25:59.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people give for how \Nto overcome depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:59.30,0:26:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually fit into this category.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:01.24,0:26:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just you have to look at \Nthem in this different way.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:03.96,0:26:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of this being a little \Nthing that I'm doing
Dialogue: 0,0:26:06.10,0:26:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try to make myself feel good,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:07.90,0:26:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let it be a little thing that \NI'm doing so as to feel like
Dialogue: 0,0:26:11.29,0:26:13.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a little bit more control,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:13.01,0:26:14.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:14.49,0:26:16.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in terms of creating what I want.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:16.59,0:26:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give you some suggestions \Nof what this might look like;
Dialogue: 0,0:26:19.47,0:26:21.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eating foods that make \Nme specifically feel good,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:21.100,0:26:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially in mood boosting foods,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:24.00,0:26:25.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spending time with animals,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:25.45,0:26:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting a massage or \Nother form of touch,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:27.17,0:26:29.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exercising, getting enough sleep,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:29.33,0:26:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,setting attainable and \Nachievable goals
Dialogue: 0,0:26:31.42,0:26:33.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and scratching them off the list\Nwhen they're accomplished,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:33.84,0:26:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taking on responsibilities\Nwhich enable you
Dialogue: 0,0:26:36.17,0:26:37.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see your positive contribution,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:37.97,0:26:39.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,visiting and making new friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:39.87,0:26:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(this prevents you from isolating)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:41.61,0:26:45.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taking control of your focus through \Npositive focus or gratitude exercises,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:45.35,0:26:47.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or working with your core beliefs,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:47.91,0:26:49.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sitting out in the Sun,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:49.22,0:26:50.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,meditation,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:50.46,0:26:51.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,creating a routine,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:51.91,0:26:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,setting things in your \Nschedule each day
Dialogue: 0,0:26:54.25,0:26:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can look \Nforward to even if
Dialogue: 0,0:26:56.08,0:26:58.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is as simple as watching \Na comedy show,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:58.10,0:26:59.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picking up a new hobby,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:59.49,0:27:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,changing up things \Nsuch as home decor,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:01.70,0:27:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or what room you sleep in,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:03.20,0:27:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or where you habitually go to eat.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:05.08,0:27:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yet again, if you're doing \Nthose types of things
Dialogue: 0,0:27:07.84,0:27:09.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from an attitude of this \Nwill make me feel better,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:09.88,0:27:12.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you will just end up more disappointed
Dialogue: 0,0:27:12.03,0:27:14.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with more proof that it's futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:14.41,0:27:15.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because right now,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:15.86,0:27:17.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's another form of futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:18.35,0:27:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feeling good is futile.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:20.76,0:27:23.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't do these things \Nto try to feel good,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:23.33,0:27:24.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do them to try to see
Dialogue: 0,0:27:24.82,0:27:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can have personal control,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:27.44,0:27:29.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of feel totally powerless,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:30.89,0:27:32.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to what you want and need.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:33.36,0:27:36.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If someone in your life is \Nstruggling with depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:36.44,0:27:39.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,please don't be afraid of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:39.11,0:27:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's nothing to be afraid of.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:40.86,0:27:43.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depression is not contagious.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:44.17,0:27:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, people who are depressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:46.44,0:27:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they need your presence.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:48.16,0:27:50.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't need your pressure.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:50.20,0:27:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now obviously, you don't \Nknow what to do to fix them.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:53.51,0:27:56.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nor does a person who's \Ndepressed actually need you
Dialogue: 0,0:27:56.15,0:27:57.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to know what to do to fix them.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:57.98,0:28:01.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the reason that most people \Nwho are depressed isolate,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:01.08,0:28:03.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because it sucks for them \Nto be around people who
Dialogue: 0,0:28:03.89,0:28:06.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,continue to have this \Nenergy around them like:
Dialogue: 0,0:28:06.26,0:28:07.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I need you to feel better."
Dialogue: 0,0:28:07.89,0:28:09.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's pressure!
Dialogue: 0,0:28:09.19,0:28:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you're going to be around \Nsomebody who's depressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:11.92,0:28:12.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have the attitude of:
Dialogue: 0,0:28:12.94,0:28:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't care if you're depressed \Nfor the rest of your life,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:14.82,0:28:17.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm still gonna be here because \Nbeing here is where I want to be."
Dialogue: 0,0:28:18.36,0:28:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the only type of energy \Nthat takes off the pressure
Dialogue: 0,0:28:21.32,0:28:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a person to suddenly feel good,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:23.11,0:28:24.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which they feel futile about.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:24.77,0:28:26.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here's the thing;
Dialogue: 0,0:28:26.88,0:28:28.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of you,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:28.33,0:28:30.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're gonna have to \Nbecome comfortable
Dialogue: 0,0:28:30.95,0:28:32.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with painful emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:32.53,0:28:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because most of the time when \Npeople experience depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:35.70,0:28:39.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they lose people in their life, \Nnot because they feel bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:39.48,0:28:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but because the people in their life
Dialogue: 0,0:28:41.28,0:28:43.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are too afraid of their own feelings.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:43.11,0:28:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To be around somebody \Nwho's suffering
Dialogue: 0,0:28:45.42,0:28:46.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it makes you feel something.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:46.98,0:28:48.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're not okay with \Nfeeling that something,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:48.100,0:28:50.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're gonna go away \Nfrom that person
Dialogue: 0,0:28:50.60,0:28:53.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sort of thinking that they're the \Ncause for the way that you feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:53.03,0:28:56.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really it's just that you're terrified \Nof feeling those emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:56.51,0:28:59.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, even if you've \Nwatched this video,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:59.20,0:29:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is nothing that is \Nshameful about depression
Dialogue: 0,0:29:01.80,0:29:05.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this includes nothing shameful \Nor wrong about resisting futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:06.19,0:29:08.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what this is like, Okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:08.34,0:29:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you had a child,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:10.04,0:29:12.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or something you wanted worse \Nthan anything in the entire universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:12.92,0:29:16.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that child was suddenly\Nswept down the stream,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:16.35,0:29:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there was nothing \Nyou could do to get them,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:18.76,0:29:21.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how long would it take you \Nto accept futility, do you think?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:22.85,0:29:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what it's like for \Nsomeone who's depressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:25.33,0:29:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means overcoming depression \Nis a great deal more complicated
Dialogue: 0,0:29:28.81,0:29:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than simply deciding \Nwith your freewill
Dialogue: 0,0:29:30.82,0:29:33.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to stop resisting and \Naccept that futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:33.20,0:29:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and do different things that \Nare empowering instead.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:35.84,0:29:39.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's a great great \Ndeal more difficult
Dialogue: 0,0:29:39.10,0:29:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than just jumping out of a \Nhole that you got stuck in.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:42.13,0:29:44.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to do the \Nbest that you can do
Dialogue: 0,0:29:44.57,0:29:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,besides being totally presence,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:46.26,0:29:48.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than help somebody who \Nis currently depressed
Dialogue: 0,0:29:48.54,0:29:49.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to face that pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:49.98,0:29:52.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of trying to get \Nthem out of their mood,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:52.32,0:29:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by doing something that \Nwill shift their focus.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:54.74,0:29:57.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really help them to \Nconsciously go into it.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:57.48,0:29:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:58.90,0:30:01.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of trying to get a depressed \Nperson out of their darkness,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:01.79,0:30:03.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hold their hand and dive in.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:03.61,0:30:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are struggling \Nwith depression,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:06.10,0:30:07.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can promise you
Dialogue: 0,0:30:07.81,0:30:10.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that that feeling of zest for life,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:10.45,0:30:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the feeling of wanting to wake up, \Nof having something to live for,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:13.64,0:30:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being energized, feeling inspired...
Dialogue: 0,0:30:15.68,0:30:19.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is on the other side of\Nfeeling like you actually can
Dialogue: 0,0:30:19.16,0:30:21.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,create what you need and want.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:21.73,0:30:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And guess what?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:23.06,0:30:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are people on this planet
Dialogue: 0,0:30:25.20,0:30:27.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who want to cooperate \Nand collaborate,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:27.57,0:30:30.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on fulfilling those desires \Nand needs with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:31.28,0:30:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically, there are people \Nwho want to be an ally
Dialogue: 0,0:30:34.08,0:30:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the creation of what you need,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:35.92,0:30:37.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,versus an antagonist.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:37.62,0:30:39.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But all of this is \Non the other side
Dialogue: 0,0:30:39.95,0:30:43.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of focusing on the absence \Nof what you do want.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:44.40,0:30:47.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all of this is on the other side of,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:47.32,0:30:49.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really consciously facing,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:49.79,0:30:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,accepting and resolving your futility,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:53.93,0:30:55.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of
Dialogue: 0,0:30:55.10,0:30:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,subconsciously
Dialogue: 0,0:30:56.69,0:30:58.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,resisting that futility.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:58.82,0:31:00.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a good week.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:18.57,0:31:21.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte