Mizaan- Javed Ahmad Ghamidi
The Social Shariah, Part- 46
All praise is due to Almighty Allah, And may the peace and blessings of
Almighty Allah be upon his trustworthy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh),
I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan,
In the name of Allah, most gracious and merciful.
Ladies and Gentlemen, In 'Mizaan', Part 2, we are discussing Social Shariah.
This is the second part of this series.
This matter is clear from every aspect that,
the Shariah of Islam has established marriage as the foundation of society.
As a result of this, the most significant, valuable and divine relationship on earth
is the relationship of parents.
How we should behave with our parents, ethically speaking,
has already been discussed in the chapter on morality.
Here, certain legal aspects of this will be understood.
I have made the 14th and 15th verse of Surah Luqmaan as the introduction
to this topic. Surah Luqmaan is the Quran's 31st Surah.
Wa wassainal insaana bi waalidaihi hamalat hu ummuhoo wahnan ‘alaa
wahninw wa fisaaluhoo fee ‘aamaini anishkur lee wa liwaalidaika
ilaiyal maseer Wa in jaahadaaka ‘alaaa an tushrika bee maa laisa laka bihee ‘ilmun
falaa tuti’humaa wa saahib humaa fid dunyaa ma’roofanw
wattabi’ sabeela man anaaba ilayy; summa ilaiya marji’ukum fa unabbi’ukum
bimaa kuntum ta’maloon.
It has been translated as:
And We enjoined man to show kindness to his parents,
with much pain his mother bears him and he is not weaned before
he is two years of age. We advised him, be grateful to Me and to your parents.
To Me shall all things return. But if they press you to serve besides Me,
that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them.
Remain kind to them in this world, and turn to Me with all devotion.
To Me you shall all return, and I will declare to you everything you have done.
I have written that all divine revelations instruct man to show kindness
to their parents. i.e., In Islam, being kind to parents
has always been the utmost standard of ethical behavior.
No one should be worshiped besides Allah,
and parents should be treated with kindness.
These are the most important commands in the religion of Islam.
Therefore, all messengers have instructed the same.
All divine scriptures have also emphasized it.
All divine scriptures instruct man to show kindness to the parents.
Various verses of the Qur’ān also direct the believers,
to be kind to their parents.
In the 23rd and 24th verse of the Surah Bani Israel,
the 8th verse of Surah Ankabut,
and the 15th verse of Surah Ahqaf, this topic is stated in these verses
by using the same terms approximately speaking.
The verse which i have used as the introduction to the topic of
directives relating to parents, that verse is the 14th and
15th verse of Surah Luqman.
These verses have also more or less emphasized the same thing in similar words
The above quoted verses however specifically determine the limits of
good behavior with the parents.
i.e., as long as the ethical instruction was in consideration.
a man was enjoined to show kindness to his parents,
show kindness to your parents,
and in order to show kindness,
a man is made aware of what is the role of parents in his upbringing,
what hardships they go through. And as a child, if you indeed have some
humanity, what should be your behavior towards your parents.
With respect to ethics,
like I said, this topic has been discussed in Surah Bani Israil, Surah Ankabut
and Surah Ahqaf.
All of these verses, from an ethical point of view, have stated the importance
of this, and narrate Almighty Allah's instructions, warn people,
and raise awareness among them.
And the importance of showing kindness,
to parents which is present in human nature has been mentioned ,
and we are also being reminded of it.
In the verses of Surah luqman, some limitations have been appointed,
and this is the difference on the basis of which I have selected these
verses for this discussion.
i.e., in case of morality,
only principles will be under discussion, and in case of laws, the limitations,
warnings, and terms and conditions are discussed.
This difference should be considered
i.e., one being a law which can be passed on state level,
that has its own limitations,
but when Almighty Allah states that
something is shariah and the other is hikmah.
I have mentioned it earlier and explained with evidences that the whole content
of Islam, everything included in this religion has been divided into two parts,
Hikmah which means faith and virtues, that is the true religion,
and Al-Kitaab i.e., upon which laws are based.
So, what is the thing that sets law apart?
The answer is that law is based on ethical values but
what law does is that it confines it.
Let's understand this by using an example.
The Quran has mentioned it in many instances that adultery is a great sin.
People are told 'la taqrabuz-zina', do not even go close to it.
This is a moral instruction, a fundamental principle,
it is the foundation that withstands the religion of Islam.
But when Quran states in Surah Nur that the sinner will be punished
for his acts in a certain way, or be dealt with in a particular manner,
it will be a part of the law or shariah.
I have contemplated this difference in the entire book,
that what things should be discussed under the rubric of ethics,
and they have been discussed under the same.
Therefore, showing kindness to parents has also been discussed,
in terms of moral values in that part.
Here, some of its limitations are discussed,
and that is the reason i haven't spoken about it under that topic,
I have included it here,
i.e., in the series of law, which is in Al-Kitaab.
This has been mentioned in the second part of Mizaan, which is social shariah,
for which I was giving this explanation.
The above quoted verses however specifically determine the limits of
good behavior with the parents.
The details of this directive as stated in these verses are:
i.e., the verses mentioned above from Surah Luqman, the 14th and 15th verse,
their translation has already been mentioned,
the limitations which has been fixed in those verses,
now I'm going to discuss them in the manner of laws.
The details of this directive as stated in these verses are:
1. It is the parents who bring into existence a new life and
become the means to nourish it.
It is an indisputable fact.
No doubt, the care and affection of the father is quite a lot,
however the hardships a mother encounters in bringing up the child
starting from her pregnancy, to childbirth and then breast-feeding
the child are unmatched and no child can repay her
for this great service.
i.e., in these three stages,
from pregnancy to childbirth,
a mother braves through a life & death kind of a situation,
and then for two or more years she breast feeds the child,
and even after that she plays a significant role in nurturing the child.
It is the parents who bring into existence a new life and
become the means to nourish it. No doubt, the care and affection
of the father is quite a lot, however the hardships a mother encounters
in bringing up the child starting from her pregnancy, to childbirth and
then breast-feeding the child are unmatched and no child can repay her
for this great service.
If a person is courteous, and he hasn't contaminated his natural disposition,
he has not changed for the worse,
he has not detached himself in the pride of adolescence from the past or present,
then he would never suggest something different from what has been advised.
On these very grounds, the Prophet (pbuh) has regarded the right of the mother
as three times that of the father.
In the narrations of Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim,
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) answered a question in such a way,
that it was made clear that the rights of the mother far surpass,
the rights of the father.
Consequently, the Almighty exhorts man to be the most grateful to his parents
after his Lord.
i.e., no doubt you have to be partial towards your mother,
however both of them should be given their due.
The care and affection of the father is no less, his role is also significant
in a child's life.
He does everything to support his family financially,
sometimes even starve himself to provide resources for his children.
Consequently, the Almighty exhorts man to be the most grateful to his parents
after his Lord.
This gratitude must not be expressed merely by the tongue.
Its essential corollary is that it should manifest in good behavior towards them.
Listen to each and every word of this with attention.
Its essential corollary i.e., the Quran presented this as the first preposition,
it begins its argument from here,
that the most important virtue among people is gratitude.
There is a narrative which states 'man lam yash kurunnasa lam yash kurullah'
i.e., if a person is ungrateful to to other people who have been kind to him
in this world, he won't ever be grateful to Allah as well.
It is known that, philosophically, the foundation of the entire religion
is based upon the emotion of gratitude.
i.e., when i look at myself, and when I observe the surrounding world,
and acknowledge the presence of my Lord,
gain knowledge about Him,
and get introduced to Him as the true benefactor,
for this the feeling of gratitude is manifested in me and,
this same feeling of gratitude should be towards your parents as instructed
by the Quran.
However, everyone should understand, this does not mean that,
you just say sometimes that i am grateful to my parents,
it should not be expressed merely in words,
one should act upon it and behave in a certain manner.
This gratitude must not be expressed merely by the tongue.
Its essential corollary is that it should manifest in good behavior towards them.
He should respect them and never become fed up of them.
He must not utter a single word of disrespect to them.
Instead, he should be soft, sympathetic, loving and obedient to them.
i.e., even if the parent's behavior is bad towards the child,
or the parent is being unjust to the child,
the child should be soft, sympathetic, and obedient to them.
He should listen to them and
be caring and affectionate to them in the tenderness of old age.
The parents need their children the most after they have fallen,
into the tenderness of old age.
An infirmity manifests in them that makes them act like children.
So during that time, it is important to take good care of them,
spend some time with them, be affectionate to them,
and take their hard work and pains into consideration.
It has been stated in the Surah Bani Israil:
Wa qadaa Rabbuka allaa ta'budooo illaaa iyyaahu wa bilwaalidaini ihsaanaa
immaa yablughanna 'indakal kibara ahaduhumaaa aw kilaahumaa falaa
taqul lahumaaa uffinw wa laa tanharhumaa wa qullahumaa qawlan kareemaa
Wakhfid lahumaa janaahaz zulli minar rahmati wa qur Rabbir hamhumaa
wa qur Rabbir hamhumaa kamaa rabbayaanee sagheera
Rabbukum a'lamu bimaa fee nufoosikum; in takoonoo saaliheena fa innahoo
kaana lil awwaabeena Ghafoooraa.
This is from the 17th Surah, Bani Israil, and above quoted verses are the
23rd, 24th and 25th verse of this surah.
And your Lord has enjoined you to worship none but Him,
i.e., when only He is the one true God,
then only he should be worshipped and served.
And your Lord has enjoined you to worship none but Him, and
to show great kindness to your parents. If either or both of them in your presence
i.e., the reason why I mentioned that we should show great kindness,
is because of how the Quran has composed this verse.
i.e., the Quran has concealed the verb, but kept the noun.
Instead of Ahsinu bil waledainy ihsaana, wa bil walidainy ihsaana is there.
The people who know the arabic language, will understand,
that there is an element of hyperbole in this verse.
And your Lord has enjoined you to worship none but Him, and
to show great kindness to your parents. If either or both of them attain old age
in your presence, show them no sign of impatience.
This sentence in arabic that do not show a sign of impatience to your parents,
this means that if a parent says something to his son, the son will shrug and
respond rudely.
The Quran instructs that things should never reach this point,
one should not behave like this,
the behaviour towards your parents should be loving, affectionate, kind,
and sympathetic.
If either or both of them attain old age in your presence,
show them no sign of impatience, nor rebuke them.
Why is this thing being said and why is it that only the rights of parents
are being discussed with respect to this law and not the children.
If you give it some thought you will get know that,
the parents have such extraordinary Instincts in them that,
they do not need to be instructed through religious texts.
Almighty Allah's method is such, that in instances where things are clear,
and instincts are intensely strong,
the possibility of violating a law is much less,
it is left to the person's wisdom and nature.
i.e., It is obvious that parents will raise their children,
nurture them, guide and educate them,
and they will do anything that's in their control.
Generally, these things are expected.
But when parents become old, an important test comes into picture,
i.e., children have passions, exigencies,
they have their own needs,
and when parents have also fallen into the tenderness of old age,
they might not make sense sometimes,
it is possible that sometimes they might be unjust to their children,
it is also possible that sometimes they might not react calmly,
i.e., there are thousands of problems that come into consideration,
for this very reason, this chapter is being discussed in Social Shariah,
because there is a possibility of contravention here,
here instincts are not so strong anymore.
This becomes a matter of rationale and wisdom,
So there is a possibility that something might go severely wrong.
So know the rights of your parents, show kindness to your parents,
and it's limitations are being stated, and it is being explained in detail,
so that a child can understand when his parents become old,
what kind of situations he would encounter during which he should show kind, loving,
and sympathetic behavior towards them.
If either or both of them attain old age in your presence,
show them no sign of impatience, nor rebuke them,
but speak to them kind words.
Treat them with humility and tenderness.
i.e., just like we have a connection of devotion with Allah,
and a connection of humility with Allah,
the same kind of humility should be shown to parents as well.
We should bow with humility in front of our parents.
i.e., when a person attains puberty, they start to behave arrogantly.
This should not happen while dealing with parents.
But speak to them kind words.
Treat them with humility and tenderness and say,
'Lord, be merciful to them the way they nursed me when I was an infant.'
This is a very special and gracious prayer.
There is a teaching concealed in this prayer.
It reminds a person of the rights of his parents that are incumbent upon him,
and the old age of his parents reminds him of his childhood.
This method of reminding and giving an advice is very profound.
The dua is: 'Lord, be merciful to them the way they nursed me when I was an infant.'
i.e., clearly when parents will be in the tenderness of old age,
they might sometimes do something that will antagonize their child,
it is possible that the child might respond with rudeness sometimes,
or might react to their unjustness in a certain way.
So, the child is being reminded about how he behaved in his childhood,
i.e., your parents took care of you when you were a child,
you were stubborn and sometimes did not obey your parents, you were weak,
you used to wake up your parents when they were tired and asleep.
In order to guide, educate and nurture you, your parents have put their
own lives at risk.
So, for this very reason, you should also pray,
that like they nurtured you during your childhood,
Allah should also look favourably upon them.
'Lord, be merciful to them the way they nursed me when I was an infant.'
Your Lord best knows what is in your hearts.
If you remain obedient, He will forgive those who turn to Him.
In this profound and pleasing style,
which the Quran has used to draw our attention,
with respect to our behavior towards the parents.
This was the first directive.
Now, the second one is:
In spite of the status that Islam confers upon parents,
i.e., first the subject has been introduced,
and we are being reminded of the favour our parents do us.
Hence, observe the verse which we have used as the introduction to this chapter.
Wa wassainal insaana bi waalidaihi hamalat hu ummuhoo wahnan 'alaa wahninw
wa fisaaluhoo fee 'aamaini.
i.e., first the beneficence of our parents has been emphasised,
Its your mother who has kept you in her womb for a period of nine months,
and then went through a lot of trouble while breastfeeding you for two years,
In spite of the status that Islam confers upon parents,
they do not have the right,
i.e., first their status was fixed,
then the same was stated,
the ethical values were made clear,
that is the beauty of the entire society,
and people were instructed how they should treat their parents
and what should be their behavior towards them.
After stating the above, now what is being said is that,
In spite of the status that Islam confers upon parents,
i.e., this is the favour of our parents,
one should be grateful to them for this,
one should always pray for them,
one should never show disobedience, no matter how insignificant,
nor rebuke them, and never disrespect them in any way.
It is their right.
But even after having such a status, in spite of that..
In spite of the status that Islam confers upon parents,
they do not have the right to force their children to baselessly associate
someone with the Almighty.
Here, it is clear that in this verse polytheism is being mentioned,
that is because the people who are being addressed,
this issue is the bone of contention among them.
But as a result this principle emanates,
that the rights of Allah, take precedence over the rights of the parents.
i.e., the first and foremost right that should be fulfilled is the right of Allah.
Therefore, if someone is obligated to do something which deals with Allah
and his religion,
his parents can't force him to show disobedience to Allah.
Keeping their rights aside, and their love,
and showing hospitality towards them, and also gratitude towards them,
but when Allah's rights come into picture, it is the highest of all.
On what basis have the rights of the parents been established?
They has been established because they brought us into this world,
they nurtured us, they guided and educated us, they took good care of us
when we were weak.
Likewise, the right of Allah,
He is the reason of the existence of this entire universe, He gave a life to us,
gave us the capability of understanding,
and promised that an eternal life is awaiting us.
He filled this world with all sorts and kinds of blessings and favors.
Count them if you can, a verse in the Quran states,
Wain tauddoo niaamata Allahi la tuhsooha,
which means, You cannot count the favors of Allah,
So the one true benefactor should take precedence over everything else.
We should to be grateful to Him most of all.
Consequently, the Quran has made this thing clear that in case of the parents,
Allah instructs you about the rights of your parents,
how you should treat your parents, what should be your behavior towards them.
But this does not mean that if your parents force you to baselessly
associate someone with Almighty Allah,
or do not let you fulfil the rights of Allah,
No, the parents do not have these rights.
The Prophet (pbuh) has said that showing disobedience to parents
is the greatest sin after polytheism.
The Prophet (pbuh) has stated this and,
these are the narratives from Sahih Al- Bukhari and Sahih Muslim,
their reference is mentioned in the footnotes below.
However, the above quoted verses of Surah Luqman say that
the children should openly disobey their parents with regard to polytheism
and should follow the way of those who follow Allah.
i.e., your exemplar, your leader, your mentor, your teacher,
should be only those people who follow and obey Almighty Allah,
and call you towards Him.
Parents are worthy of showing kindness, they deserve to be treated with kindness,
and this right of theirs' should be fulfilled.
But they do not have the right to take place of a cleric or a guide.
They should not be the one to say that,
you can or cannot fulfill the rights of Allah.
When you know Allah's rights,
they would be given precedence over everything else.
And showing kindness to parents is also one of Allah's rights.
He has given this as a directive,
and it has been mentioned in various verses in the Quran.
Prophet (pbuh) has said that showing disobedience to parents
is the greatest sin after polytheism. However, the above quoted verses of
Surah Luqman say that the children should openly disobey their parents
with regard to polytheism and should follow the way of those who follow God,
i.e., the prophets, the righteous, those scholars who have the
true knowledge of religion, they should tell people about
Allah's rights, they should tell people about Allah's command,
they should inform people about the religion, these people should be followed.
Any calls to evade the Almighty must not receive any positive response
even if it is the parents who are giving the call.
Any calls to evade the Almighty, i.e., even if parents who have been
given such a status, ask you to leave the way of Allah,
and show disobedience to Him,
they must not receive any positive response.
Laa ta'ata fil maasiah innamal ta'ata fil ma'aruuf.
No one can be obeyed if he calls to disobey the Almighty,
one can only obey what is virtuous.
It is a hadith mentioned in Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim.
It's reference has also been mentioned in the footnotes.
The same principle has been mentioned in this,
i.e., in the way of Allah's disobedience, neither can the parents be obeyed,
nor a leader, or head of the society,
or the scholars, or preachers,
or guides.
Within the circle of Allah's obedience, people will be respected, and honoured,
and listened to.
The Prophet (pbuh) has stated this on the same basis.
Consequently, all other directives of the Almighty Allah shall also be considered
subservient to this directive, and one cannot disobey these directives
if the parents ask them to do so.
i.e., the Prophet (pbuh) has also, granted that polytheism was mentioned,
but it was given a form of a principle, and that is correct,
that is because the circumstances against which this has been stated,
that makes it clear, that the actual thing to take into consideration is,
that where Allah's right is in question,
and the demands of His worship are at stake,
and the demands of His obedience are at stake,
nothing else will matter in such circumstances.
The third limitation: Even if the parents force their children
to commit a sin as heinous as polytheism,
i.e., if the parents are old, or there are differences of opinion over something,
one being that they are instructing to indulge in polytheism,
which is the greatest sin of all, they are supporting polytheism.
They want their children to follow this path.
These were the circumstances during that era.
This happens nowadays as well.
i.e., the parents have undertaken certain religious things with respect to a
particular context and they think of it as a part of religion
and then want their children to follow the same.
Even if the parents force their children to commit a sin as heinous as polytheism,
they must always be treated in a befitting manner.
i.e., on one hand it has been stated that the right of the parents
is very significant, but they do not have any right when it comes to
disobeying Almighty Allah.
And on the other hand, it has been instructed that
even if the parents are teaching their children to disobey Allah,
making them follow the path of polytheism, and are persistent about it,
in spite of all these things, they must always be treated with kindness.
Their needs should be met met as far as possible and
a prayer of guidance be continued to be made for them.
This is what the words 'Wa saahib humma fiddunya ma'aruufa'
(remain kind to them in this world) of the verse quoted above entail.
i.e., in the Quran, where it has been mentioned that do not obey your parents
when they force you to follow polytheism, do not obey them when they tell you to
disobey Almighty Allah, with this it has also been mentioned that,
with respect to worldly affairs, ? be affectionate and kind to them.
The children may have a right to disobey their parents if they insist upon
upon disobedience to the directives of religion but they must still
not be slack or indifferent in any way to their duty towards their parents.
i.e., even if the parents are forcing their child to disobey Allah,
and forcing him to commit a sin which is the greatest of all,
he must still show kindness to his parents.
The last part of the verses caution both the child and the parents,
one day he has to return to the Almighty to give an account of his deeds.
This is Quran's special approach,
i.e., you can observe that it first stated
what your parents do to nurture you, then it stated that consequently it is
necessary to be grateful to them, then it instructed what should be the
behavior towards the parents for same, determined certain limits of good behavior
and then it warned them that, 'summa ilayyi marjiukum
fa unabbiukum bimaa kuntum ta'amaluun. This is the last part of the verse.
The last part of the verse caution a person that one day
he has to return to the Almighty to give an account of his deeds.
This is usually how Quran warns people.
One day we have to return to our Lord,
a day has been ascertained for us when we will have to answer,
Whenever He commands to do something, or whenever he guides us,
He always draws our attention to this fundamental fact,
this is the base of the invitation to Islam.
i.e., the hereafter, the day when we will have to give an account of our deeds,
the day when we will meet our Lord, in preparation of this.
The last part of the verses caution a person that one day
he has to return to the Almighty to give an account of his deeds,
Summa ilayyi marjiukum fa unabbiukum bimaa kuntum ta'amaluun.
While commenting upon this part of the verse, Imam Amin Ahsan Islahi writes,
this addresses,
i.e., the verse mentioned above, summa ilayyi marjiukumm,
one has to return to Almighty Allah,
This part of the verse addresses both the parents and the children
and carries both a warning and an assurance.
It carries both the aspects, a warning and an assurance.
The implication is that one day,
each person will have to return to the Almighty.
Whatever he would have done would be brought before him.
A believer should keep this in mind while living his life.
i.e., My deeds are being compiled,
each and everything is being put on record,
ma yalfizu min qawlin illa ladayhi raqeebun ateed,
Man does not utter any word except that
with him is an observer prepared to record.
His deeds, his intentions, everything will be brought before him on that day,
Until a person does not comprehend the enormity of this fact,
he cannot truty follow through on the laws of shariah,
nor can he fulfill the objectives of this system.
Whatever he would have done would be brought before him.
If some parents had violated the rights given to them regarding their children
by making them deviate from the path of the Almighty,
they will have to face punishment for this attitude and
if children duly recognized the rights of the Almighty together with those
of their parents as well as remaining steadfast in following the obligations
these rights entail, they will be rewarded for their perseverance.
I say this saying of mine, and I seek forgiveness from Allah for me and for you.