That someone gives you attention does not mean they have good intentions.
There are many with itching ears yet immature hearts.
Grace and peace to you all, people of God.
You're all welcome to this Partners Service here at the God's Heart TV studio.
Before anything else, let us pray together.
Father, we thank You for each heart connected to this service today.
We pray that whatever spiritual barrier hindering
their understanding would be removed today, in Jesus’ mighty name!
Lord Jesus Christ, help us to give undivided attention
to what You have to say to us today
through Your Holy Word and by Your precious Spirit,
in Jesus’ mighty name we pray.
And the people of God said, “Amen!”
Glory be to God!
A couple of weeks ago, there was a young lady who I spoke to.
And I'm not going to disclose the specifics of her situation,
but as I was speaking to her,
the only way I would put it, is that the Spirit of God prompted me
to give her a godly rebuke.
‘Godly rebuke’ because she shared her situation and had been attending
Interactive Prayer Services and was not someone that had just joined
for the first time. She was going to church.
She was adopting so many godly things. But there was a clear area of her life
where she was unrepentantly living in sin.
And yet she was still questioning why certain aspects of God's promises
were not being fulfilled in her life, whereas there was a clear
area of her life where she was living in sin.
And I was speaking to this young lady and I said to her,
“Look, my sister, sometimes the truth is bitter,
but if I'm to help you, I have to speak forth the truth.”
And I rebuked her.
You cannot expect spiritual benefits to self-inflicted trials.
You can't expect God's grace and mercy to cover you
when you are consciously, knowingly, living in a way of life that is contrary to His Word.
I didn't say it maliciously. I didn't say it with judgment.
I said it with righteous anger
because how can we just come before God
to receive His mercy if we don't identify the areas of our own lives
which are not pleasing to Him?
And after I spoke to her, she said something that really touched me.
She said, “Brother Chris, I want to thank you
because this is the first time in my life that someone has spoken to me like this.”
Even that alone pains me that someone could be going to church,
engaging in godly activities,
yet they didn't have someone, or perhaps they were not open to someone,
or they were not accountable to someone, who could speak the truth.
And this young lady said, “I want to thank you for loving me enough to rebuke me.”
This is someone I have not met before. I don't know the person personally.
We just spoke on the phone. She reached out for prayer
and I realised, in her case, what she needed was not prayer;
she needed someone to tell the truth to her.
Now, how she acted on that message is between her and God.
One thing is to acknowledge the truth, another thing is to act on it.
But I reflected after this conversation.
I reflected deeply that one of the greatest challenges we face today is that, too often,
we share our problems with those who are spiritually ill-equipped to help us.
And this is what I want to talk about today:
Be careful of who you confide in.
If you are with someone at home, tell that person, “Be careful of who you confide in.”
Be careful of who counsels you.
Be careful!
Life itself is full of challenges, but carnal counsel makes them far more challenging.
There are already challenges that we go through in this journey of life.
“In this world there will be trouble,” Jesus said.
Being a Christian doesn’t make us immune to challenges,
but carnal counsel makes them far more challenging.
What do I mean?
We often disclose our problems to those whose advice worsens them.
Irrespective of intentions, carnal counsel is dangerous.
Be careful of who you confide in.
There must be discernment before disclosure.
In the case of the young lady that I just referenced,
as we finished that conversation, I wrote something down
and I want to share it with you. It was very simply this,
carnal counsel directs us to blame; godly counsel directs us to change.
The light of God's Word directs us to the areas of our lives
where we need to change,
but the darkness of this world directs us to the things that we need to blame.
We blame that person. We blame our family. We blame the government.
We blame circumstances. We blame witchcraft.
We are quick to blame because we so often receive advice
from the human point of view in the face of our problems.
This is what I want to talk to you about.
Be careful of who you confide in.
Be careful of who counsels you.
Ask yourself at this point,
when confronted by challenges, who do you confide in?
Do you have accountability with those who possess spiritual maturity?
It is a question for self-examination because in the journey of life
we go through challenges, we face problems,
we encounter difficulties.
What kind of advice are you receiving in the face of your challenge?
I'm going to take you to a Biblical story
which emphasises the importance of this truth.
I hope you have your Bibles with you.
Turn with me to 2 Kings 4, and this is the account of the Shunammite woman.
Let’s read together the opening verses, 2 Kings 4:8,
“Now it happened one day that Elisha went to Shunem,
where there was a notable woman, and she persuaded him to eat some food.
So it was, as often as he passed by, he would turn in there to eat some food.”
Verse 9, “And she said to her husband,
‘Look now, I know that this is a holy man of God, who passes by us regularly.
Please let us make a small upper room on the wall; and let us put a bed for him there,
and a table and a chair and a lampstand; so it will be, that whenever he comes to us
he can turn in there.’ And it happened one day that he came there, and he turned in
to the upper room and laid down there.” Let's pause there.
I want you to recognise, first and foremost, that the Shunammite woman
had a revelation of who Elisha was.
“I know this is a holy man of God.”
The basis of their relationship was spiritual.
And because she had the revelation of who he was spiritually,
she had the confidence to confide in him when calamity later struck her family.
If a relationship is based on natural things, it can be interrupted by natural things,
it can be interfered with by natural things, natural circumstances.
But if the basis of a relationship is spiritual, nothing natural can separate it.
In the verses following, Elisha said to his servant,
‘What can I do for this lady who has prepared this place for me?’
And his servant mentions that she does not have a son, a child.
Elisha calls her and prophesies to her
that by this time next year you will have your own child - you will have a son.
What prompted the Shunammite woman to help Elisha
was spiritual revelation, not material expectation.
Her motive was not transactional.
“If I do this for this man of God, God will give me a child.”
No, that was not her intention; that was not her motive.
But because she gave with no conditions attached,
God gave her the desires of her heart.
Oh, thank You, Jesus!
She did not provide the place for Elisha with a selfish motive.
“Oh, if I do this, this man of God can speak well for me before the king.
This man of God can pray for me for a child.
This man of God can do this for me. So let me do this for him.”
That was not her intention.
She had a revelation of who he was spiritually,
and God prompted her heart to prepare a place for him.
If you seek God only for what you can get,
it is a sign that you are unprepared to get what you seek.
Think about that, people of God.
If you are giving to God's work
only because of what you are seeking from God,
“If I do this for the ministry, perhaps God will do this for me,”
that should not be your motive.
God knows your needs.
He knew the need of the Shunammite woman.
And when she gave with all her heart, God gave her the desires of her heart.
God blessed her beyond her wildest imagination.
Even she said to Elisha, “Don't deceive me, my Lord.
Is this real? Is this true that I will have a son?”
That was not her intention. That was not her motive.
But when she gave on the basis of revelation,
she received more than her dreams.
It's a lesson because
it is very common today for people to fall into the trap
of attaching material expectations to spiritual service.
There are also some people
who give motivated by the guilt of their sin,
believing that their gift will somehow cover their wrong.
But if sin is before you, only repentance can restore you.
If your situation is caused by sin, no amount of money can restore you.
No amount of nice advice from the human point of view can rescue you.
If sin is before you, only the Blood of Jesus can restore you.
So stop looking for a scapegoat and start looking to the Lamb of God
who takes away the sins of the world.
The world may point us to the outward cause.
The Word of God points us to the inward cause.
That's why it's so important to receive godly counsel.
Let's continue in this story.
God blesses the Shunammite woman with a son, with the desires of her heart.
What a wonderful testimony! Glory be to God!
And from verse 18, let me read on to what happens.
“And the child grew.
Now, it happened one day that he went out to his father, to the reapers.
And he said to his father, ‘My head, my head!’
So he said to a servant, ‘Carry him to his mother.’
And when he had taken him
and brought him to his mother, he sat on her knees till noon, and then died.”
Calamity struck.
A glorious testimony suddenly turned into a calamity.
How could it be?
The son promised from God, given by God
at a young, tender age, taken away.
But I want you to observe the response of the Shunammite woman
to this clearly distressing, painful circumstance.
Verse 21, “And she went up and laid him on the bed of the man of God,
shut the door upon him, and went out.”
Take note, her very first action was to consider the things of God.
“Then she called to her husband, and said,
‘Please send me one of the young men and one of the donkeys,
that I may run to the man of God and come back.’
So he said, ‘Why are you going to him today?
It is neither the new moon nor the Sabbath.’
And she said, ‘It is well.’”
Whereas, it was not well!
There was a terrible situation on the ground.
But at that point she said, ‘It is well.’
“Then she saddled a donkey, and said to her servant, ‘Drive, and go forward;
do not slacken the pace for me unless I tell you.’
And so she departed and went to the man of God at Mount Carmel.
So it was, when the man of God saw her afar off, that he said to his servant, Gehazi,
‘Look, the Shunammite woman!
Please run now to meet her, and say to her, ‘Is it well with you?
Is it well with your husband?
Is it well with the child?’ And she answered, ‘It is well.’”
Verse 27, “Now when she came to the man of God at the hill,
she caught him by the feet,
but Gehazi came near to push her away.
But the man of God said, ‘Let her alone; for her soul is in deep distress,
and the Lord has hidden it from me, and has not told me.’”
I want us to learn a valuable lesson from this story.
Because the Shunammite woman had a revelation of who Elisha was,
she had the confidence to confide in him when this terrible tragedy struck her home.
She was in deep distress but she was not overwhelmed emotionally to
the point where she disclosed her problems to people
that God had not sent to her.
You know, when we react emotionally, when we are overwhelmed by emotions,
it tends to leave us vulnerable to bad advice.
The Shunammite woman was not pretending when she said, “It is well,”
even though it was not well.
But she did not disclose her problems
to those who were not in a position to help at that moment.
She was in deep distress, yes,
but she took the decision of faith to go and receive counsel
from someone she knew God had sent to her life.
I want to challenge you all, people of God.
Sometimes we need a word that challenges us,
stirs us, stirs our spirits to self-examination and perhaps to repentance.
When problems strike in your life who do you confide in?
Or let me put it like this -
are you confiding in someone or complaining to someone?
Because there's a difference.
You confide in someone when you seek solution.
You complain to someone when you seek sympathy.
Are you looking for attention or solution?
It's a question for us to reflect on because
that someone is ready to listen to you does not mean that person loves you.
There are many with itching ears yet immature hearts.
That someone gives you attention does not mean they have good intentions.
Are you complaining to someone for attention
or confiding in someone for solution?
Because if you are more interested in sympathy than solution,
you will likely sacrifice your principles on the altar of your problems.
What do I mean?
In the face of our problems, we receive advice, we receive counsel,
we receive guidance that makes our problems worse.
We may hear what we want to hear, but it doesn't solve the issue.
This is a problem when you surround yourself
only with people who say what you want to hear.
You don't address the issue. You delay it.
You postpone it.
It ends up being built up.
And as it builds up, it weighs you down.
This is the problem of receiving advice
from people who are not spiritually equipped to help that issue.
Why is it common for us to divulge our problems,
to disclose our problems, to those who are not equipped to help us?
Because it is common for complaints to reach the ears of the carnally minded.
We are quick to complain to those who are not in a position to help us.
But learn from this woman.
Look, she didn't deny her problem,
but she knew at that moment her husband was not in the right place to help her,
the servant of the man of God was not in the right place to help her.
To them, she said, “It is well,” whereas it was not well.
But when she reached Elisha she poured out her heart.
And if we read the story, you continue on in the verses,
a glorious miracle happened!
Elisha followed her, prayed for the lifeless son lying on that bed,
and there was a resurrection. What a glorious testimony!
You can see this message is burning in my heart, because it's so sad
to see how many people worsen or prolong their problems
by receiving bad advice in the midst of them.
We share our problems, not only with those who cannot help us,
but with those who will use what we share with them against us.
Often, because we are emotionally overwhelmed, we lose self-control.
Let me be clear here.
This is not in any way an encouragement to isolation.
There are some people whose attitude is when they face a problem,
they pretend that there is no problem, they deny the existence of a problem.
No, denying your problem is often fuelled by pride, not faith.
A problem hidden is often pride-driven.
What you hide tends to reveal your pride.
I am not talking about denying a problem, pretending that there is no problem,
I am talking about taking the problem to the right place.
She wasn't in denial, but she was not desperate to the point
where she disclosed her problem to the wrong kind of people.
This is a message to each and every one of you today.
Be careful of who counsels you.
Be careful of who you confide in.
And be careful of how you counsel others.
Oh, this is another point, people of God.
I could ask the question to you also.
Not just, “Who do you confide in?” but, “Who confides in you?”
Never dilute the truth out of sympathy for someone's situation.
Never water down the truth
because of selfish ambition, or material connection, or biological familiarity.
Don't reduce the standard of accountability due to familiarity.
The benchmark for accountability is spiritual - spiritual maturity.
It is the truth that sets us free.
Even if someone is unwilling to act on that truth,
don't be discouraged from telling them in love.
Don't just become a dustbin for someone to complain to
without telling them the truth.
It is the truth that sets us free.
Godly counsel in the light of God's Word paves the path for solution.
Carnal counsel, influenced by the darkness of this world,
simply leaves us going in circles.
This is my message to you today.
Be careful of who you confide in.
There are some situations we face in life that we are not meant to handle alone.
Look, some situations you personally can take to God and overcome.
There are some issues in life where you can't just go through it alone.
That's why we are one another’s strength.
That's why there's power in godly fellowship.
That’s why the community of the Body of Christ is so important,
so we can help each other, strengthen each other,
speak the truth to each other.
But have you identified those God has sent to you?
Have you identified those God has sent you to?
I pray that this message prompts us
to examine our reaction in the face of our challenges.
How do we respond?
How do we react?
Who do we turn to?
What kind of advice do we receive?
What kind of counsel do we receive?
Let us take this warning to watch and pray,
to discern before we disclose, and to be careful of who we confide in.
May God bless His living Word in our hearts, in Jesus’ mighty name.