WEBVTT

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John Oliver: The police.

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They protect us.

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They serve us.

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And they provide us with an endless source

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of T.V show one-liners.

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Clip1: Rock, paper, scissors, gun.

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Clip2: Well, I'm no Serena Williams,

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but I know one thing;

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it's all in the wrist.

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Clip3 (Officer): Who'd want to cut your penis off?

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Suspect: Take a number.

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John Oliver: Okay. [laughing]

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Now, you laugh but admit it.

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You want to watch the rest of that episode

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right now.

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[laughing]

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Now look.

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Public trust in the police is one of the

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most vital elements in a civilized society

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but for many Americans, that trust has

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been undermined by a procedure called

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civil forfeiture.

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Now, I know it sounds like a

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Gweneth Paltrow euphemism for divorce,

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but incredibly its actually even worse

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than that.

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Ezekiel Edwards: Civil Asset forfeiture is

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really a mechanism by which the state and

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federal government can seize people's

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property without having to convict them of

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a crime.

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Most people can't afford to hire a lawyer

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to challenge it.

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It's really legalized robbery by law

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enforcement.

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John Oliver: Think about it.

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That is a tough crime to report to

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the police.

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Give me a description of what the guy

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looked like.

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Well, to be honest, he looked a lot like

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the guy currently asking me what the

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guy looked like. [laughing]

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And if you think this sounds bad,

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just wait until you see how it looks.

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Because the Washington Post recently

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published a major investigation featuring

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stories like that of this man who was

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driving from Michigan to San Francisco with

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$2,400 in cash that his dad had lent him

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to start a new job when he was pulled over

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in Nevada.

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Matt Lee: I gave him my license and

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registration, and then as he was looking

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at that information, he asked me how much

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money I was traveling with.

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Narrator: Lee told him about the money

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that his Dad give him which he kept in the

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trunk.

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Matt Lee: He told me to turn on my air

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vents on high and roll up my windows

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and get out of the car because he was

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going to run a canine around it.

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Narrator: Dove didn't find drugs, but he

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did find the $2400.

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Matt Lee: He said, "Now, I am going to

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keep the money because I have concluded

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through my investigation here that you are

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traveling from Michigan to California to

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purchase drugs.

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John Oliver: Wow.

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There is so much wrong there,

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including the fact that any policeman

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who genuinely believes that you need

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to travel from Michigan to California to

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purchase drugs needs to be introduced

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to the concept of the University of Wisconsin Madison.

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[laughing]

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Okay.

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It’s right there.

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And the problem is, stories like that

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are surprisingly common.

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In fact, since 9/11 under just one program

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police have taken $2.5 billion in the

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course of over 61,000 seizures of cash

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alone from people who,

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and this is the mind-blowing part,

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were not charged with a crime.

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That is the sort of police behavior that

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we laugh at other countries for,

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along with their accents and silly hats.

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[laughing]

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The way Civil Forfeiture generally works

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is if the police believe they have a

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preponderance of the evidence that

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suggests your property was

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or could be used in a crime,

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they may confiscate it.

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And it gets even weirder.

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Sarah Stillman: Many folks are unfamiliar

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with the idea of Civil Forfeiture which is

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actually a case brought against,

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directly against, a piece of property

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where you don’t need to be proven guilty

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of a crime for your goods to

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be taken away. 



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John Oliver: Exactly, you don’t need to

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be charged with a crime because

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it’s not you that’s on trial,

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it’s your stuff.

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That’s why these cases have historically

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had eye-catching names such as,

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and all of these are real,

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“United States v. Eight Thousand Eight Hundred

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and Fifty Dollars in United States Currency”

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[laughing]

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“United States v. An Article Consisting

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of 50,000 Cardboard Boxes More or Less,

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Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls”

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and “United States v. Approximately

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64,695 Pounds of Shark Fins”

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which must have been an amazing court case.

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And do you see those shark fins

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in the room right now?

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Yes, there they are, there they are!

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[laughing] Let the record show that

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the witness has pointed at roughly 65,000

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pounds of shark fins. Guilty, guilty!

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And it’s also worth noting that your

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possessions generally have fewer

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protections under the law than you do.

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Scott Bullock: Under Civil Forfeiture

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laws your property is guilty until

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you prove it innocent.

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John Oliver: How can that be possible?

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[laughing] At this point, I’m surprised

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that objects don’t have their own

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civil rights leader.

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Like Martin Scooter King,

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or Harvey Carton of Milk. [laughing]

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Now, to be fair, civil forfeiture laws

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have had some positive consequences.

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They’ve crippled powerful drug-trafficking

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organizations, thwarted criminals,

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and returned billions of dollars

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to victims. The problem is, that many

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police departments are allowed to keep

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most or all of the money they seize.

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Knowing that starts to make you wonder

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about the motivations of these

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kinds of questions:

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Clip: “Is there any large amounts of cash

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in the vehicle?”

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“Are there any large sums of money

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over $5,000 in cash in the vehicle?”

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“How much money you got?”

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“Any large amounts of US currency in there?

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John Oliver: I’ll take whatever cash

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you got in there and ah

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is that a slurpee in the cup holder?

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What flavor? [laughing] Grape?

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Nevermind. You know what? I will take it.

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I’ll take it. The question,

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do you have cash in the vehicle is

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surprisingly common in traffic stops.

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The police are prepared to overcome

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any language barrier to ask it.

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Clip: “tenny mucho mucho dinero

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in su trucky-trailer” [laughing]

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John Oliver: Let’s be clear, he just said

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“tenny mucho mucho dinero in su trucky-trailer”

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which sounds like an alien's first

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attempt to communicate with humans after

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crash landing in a Taco Bell.

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[laughing]

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In fact, let’s all just pause for a

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moment to enjoy that sentence

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because every single word of it is funny.

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First, tenny, pronounced incorrectly.

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Mucho, one of the few words he knows

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in Spanish. Mucho, repeated word.

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Deniro, a famed actor.

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In, a rapid shift to English.

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Su, rapid shift back to Spanish.

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Trucky-trailer, trucky-trailer. [laughing]

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Now It’s magnificent. That is magnificent.

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It’s a work of art. [applause]

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Now this happened in Tennessee,

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a state where local law enforcement

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authorities are allowed to keep as much

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as 100% of the proceeds from

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civil forfeitures.

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A local news investigation found

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multiple troubling cases of people

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having money seized such as George Rebee

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who had $20,000 seized after he was

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stopped for speeding.

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The police officer argued it was drug

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money despite the fact that Rebee

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had a pretty good explanation.

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George Rebee: I told him that I had active

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bids on eBay, that I was trying to buy

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a vehicle and they just

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didn’t want to hear it.

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Narrator: In fact, Rebee had proof on

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his computer, but the (?) officer

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drew up a damning affidavit citing his own

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training that common people do not

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carry this much US Currency.

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Clip: “...and did he tell you that

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he was trying to buy a car?”

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Officer: “He did.”

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Reporter: “But you did not include that

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in your report.”

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[laughing] Officer: “If it’s not in there,

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I didn’t put it in there”.

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“So why would you leave that out?"

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Officer: “I don’t know”.


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John Oliver: What do you mean

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you don’t know? I’d expect a better

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answer from a police officer than

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a four-year-old who just spilled grape

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juice on the couch.

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What happened to your drink?

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I don’t know. I don’t know.

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If it’s not in my glass, it’s not in my glass.

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I don’t know. I don’t know. [laughing, applause]

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And look, it’s not always just a

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roadside stop.

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In 2008 police raided the

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Contemporary Art Institute of Detroit

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during it’s “funk night” because it didn’t

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have a liquor license seizing 44 cars

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under the argument that

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“simply driving vehicles to the location

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of an unlawful sale of alcohol was

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sufficient to seize a car”

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which means you may as well seize

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any car driven by any teenager on prom

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night because they are all going

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Chad’s place. Chad’s got the hook up.

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We actually managed to get the security

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video of that Detroit raid and you can

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see the police burst in and arrest people

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with the disco lights still swirling in

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the single funkiest shake-down

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in human history. [laughing]

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They each had to pay $900 to get their

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cars out of the impound with the

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exception of the one person who’s car

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was actually stolen from the lot to

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which it had been towed,

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which seems like the sort of thing

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the police should be investigating if they

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weren’t too busy raiding art

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gallery funk nights.

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And at this point, you may be thinking,

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well sure the police departments are

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getting a lot of money from seizing stuff,

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but I’m sure there are limitations on how

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they can spend it.

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Well, allow me to take you to a 2012

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Columbia Missouri Citizen Police

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Review Board hearing.

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Clip: How do you decide forfeiture funds?

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Police Chief Ken Burton: “You know,

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it’s usually based on a need.

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Um Well, I take that back.

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Review Board: “I would imagine you sign

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off on...”

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Ken Burton: “Yeah, there are some

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limitations on it.

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You know, it’s um actually there’s not

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really on the forfeiture stuff.”

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John Oliver: Actually, there’s basically

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no limitations at all.

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Come to think of it, there’s well,

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we’re essentially Gods. We're gods.

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We’re like the anti-Spiderman,

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great power no responsibility. [laughing]

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I can’t believe this hasn’t come up before.

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And look his honesty was not over.

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Ken Burton: We just usually base it on

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something that would be nice to have,

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that we can’t get in the budget for instance.

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Though, yeah, we try not to use it for things

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that we need to depend on because we need

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to go ahead and have those purchased.

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But, it’s kind of like pennies

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from heaven ya know, it gets you a toy

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or something that you need is the way

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that we typically look at it.

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John Oliver: That’s right. That’s right.

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They buy toys with "pennies from heaven."

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Well, they should know those pennies

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may not be falling from

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heaven so much as from the pockets of

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the people they are holding upside down

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and shaking. And in terms of what kinds

00:10:03.559 --> 00:10:05.169
of toys police departments buy,

00:10:05.171 --> 00:10:06.111
that really depends.

00:10:06.111 --> 00:10:07.871
For instance, in Massachusetts,

00:10:07.876 --> 00:10:10.366
one DA’s office used forfeiture money to

00:10:10.379 --> 00:10:13.809
buy their own Zamboni even though,

00:10:13.817 --> 00:10:16.087
all this is noted, “we could not determine

00:10:16.087 --> 00:10:18.317
where this machine was located or the

00:10:18.317 --> 00:10:20.207
law-enforcement purpose it serves.”

00:10:20.207 --> 00:10:22.327
Although that last one is obvious.

00:10:22.327 --> 00:10:23.017
Just think about it.

00:10:23.020 --> 00:10:25.520
If you are robbing a bank and the police

00:10:25.520 --> 00:10:29.220
pull up in a Zamboni, you’re going to give

00:10:29.220 --> 00:10:31.780
yourself up just out of sheer curiosity.

00:10:31.780 --> 00:10:33.831
[laughing]

00:10:33.841 --> 00:10:37.381
And in Texas, one DA’s office had an

00:10:37.381 --> 00:10:39.241
even more imaginative idea,

00:10:39.241 --> 00:10:41.191
and I’ll let a concerned citizen at a

00:10:41.191 --> 00:10:43.491
a public hearing tell you all about it.

00:10:43.491 --> 00:10:45.231
Clip: With or without a law degree,

00:10:45.231 --> 00:10:47.701
everyone here knows that purchases of

00:10:47.701 --> 00:10:50.471
kegs of beer, margarita machines,

00:10:50.471 --> 00:10:52.671
and bottles of Crown Royal for office

00:10:52.671 --> 00:10:55.181
parties, as was done in Montgomery County

00:10:55.189 --> 00:10:57.519
don’t qualify as expenses

00:10:57.526 --> 00:10:59.176
for official purposes. 



00:10:59.866 --> 00:11:00.426
John Oliver: That’s true.

00:11:00.426 --> 00:11:03.666
In Texas they bought a margarita machine.

00:11:03.946 --> 00:11:06.376
They were literally using this money as

00:11:06.376 --> 00:11:09.516
their own personal slush fund. [laughing]

00:11:09.516 --> 00:11:13.516
It’s perfect, the analogy is perfect.

00:11:14.516 --> 00:11:15.456
And look, look.

00:11:15.456 --> 00:11:18.196
If the police need money for equipment,

00:11:18.196 --> 00:11:20.866
we should clearly be giving it to them.

00:11:20.866 --> 00:11:22.606
And if they need money for margarita

00:11:22.606 --> 00:11:24.516
machines, they should be (Bleep) paying

00:11:24.520 --> 00:11:25.930
for that themselves. [laughing]

00:11:25.953 --> 00:11:28.143
But, these civil forfeiture laws have

00:11:28.169 --> 00:11:30.349
warped law enforcement priorities and

00:11:30.358 --> 00:11:32.868
perception and nowhere is that more

00:11:32.895 --> 00:11:34.895
clear than Philadelphia.

00:11:35.194 --> 00:11:36.674
Video Clip, CNN: Philadelphia officials

00:11:36.674 --> 00:11:38.914
over a 10 year period have seized more

00:11:38.914 --> 00:11:42.294
than 1,000 houses, about 3,300 vehicles,

00:11:42.302 --> 00:11:46.132
and $44 million in cash in civil forfeitures.

00:11:46.137 --> 00:11:47.407
John Oliver: Holy shit.

00:11:48.158 --> 00:11:49.888
Usually when someone describes something

00:11:49.909 --> 00:11:52.539
taking 3,000 vehicles and 1,000 houses,

00:11:52.539 --> 00:11:54.959
they're talking about a (bleep) hurricane.

00:11:55.113 --> 00:11:57.193
Now, one of those houses belongs to the

00:11:57.193 --> 00:11:59.133
Sourovelis family and the reason for that

00:11:59.151 --> 00:12:02.241
seizure seems a little harsh from the outside.

00:12:02.571 --> 00:12:03.691
Clip, CNN: Police arrested their

00:12:03.694 --> 00:12:06.364
22-year-old son Yianni on drug charges,

00:12:06.364 --> 00:12:09.064
$40 worth of heroine, and claimed he was

00:12:09.064 --> 00:12:10.684
selling drugs out of the home.

00:12:10.696 --> 00:12:12.886
Police and prosecutors came armed with a

00:12:12.899 --> 00:12:14.689
law suit against the house itself.

00:12:14.781 --> 00:12:16.691
John Oliver: Exactly, because remember

00:12:16.705 --> 00:12:19.865
The parents aren’t on trial, the house is,

00:12:19.874 --> 00:12:21.714
which is clearly ridiculous.

00:12:21.714 --> 00:12:24.034
The only drug-containing house that needs

00:12:24.045 --> 00:12:25.935
a law suit against it is this one.

00:12:25.946 --> 00:12:27.066
[laughing] You’re on the edge.

00:12:27.078 --> 00:12:28.628
You’re on the edge, House.

00:12:28.628 --> 00:12:29.508
You’re this close.

00:12:29.508 --> 00:12:30.508
You’re this close to loosing your job.

00:12:30.508 --> 00:12:32.847
[laughing and applause]

00:12:32.847 --> 00:12:35.307
You’re good, dammit. You're good, House.

00:12:36.401 --> 00:12:38.111
But you're close, House. You're close.

00:12:38.111 --> 00:12:40.151
You're good but you're so close.

00:12:40.847 --> 00:12:42.387
But you're so good, House.

00:12:43.927 --> 00:12:45.957
And once their house was seized,

00:12:45.965 --> 00:12:48.245
the Sourovelis’ got to experience the

00:12:48.269 --> 00:12:50.129
final problem with civil forfeiture.

00:12:50.137 --> 00:12:52.897
Recourse can be incredibly difficult.



00:12:52.906 --> 00:12:55.136
Clip, CNN: Here in Philadelphia if you

00:12:55.143 --> 00:12:57.163
have your property taken, you can come

00:12:57.163 --> 00:13:00.353
here to city hall and go to courtroom 478

00:13:00.353 --> 00:13:02.733
and try to get it back. The problem is,

00:13:02.756 --> 00:13:05.096
the people that are taking the belongings

00:13:05.096 --> 00:13:07.606
are also the ones calling the shots

00:13:07.606 --> 00:13:08.936
inside the courtroom.

00:13:09.436 --> 00:13:12.486
The Sourovelis’ showed up to courtroom 478

00:13:12.486 --> 00:13:14.746
ready to plead their case to a judge.

00:13:14.746 --> 00:13:17.066
Instead, they say they faced a prosecutor

00:13:17.066 --> 00:13:18.416
from the DA’s office.


00:13:19.071 --> 00:13:19.891
John Oliver: That’s right.

00:13:19.900 --> 00:13:22.430
Their first step in challenging the police

00:13:22.430 --> 00:13:24.500
seizing their property was in a courtroom

00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:26.400
without a judge hearing their case.

00:13:26.406 --> 00:13:28.936
How can you even still call that a

00:13:28.947 --> 00:13:31.127
courtroom? If you take all of the doctors

00:13:31.127 --> 00:13:32.957
out of a hospital and replace them with

00:13:32.957 --> 00:13:35.077
otters, that’s no longer a hospital.

00:13:35.085 --> 00:13:37.035
[laughing] It's better. It’s much better,

00:13:37.035 --> 00:13:39.675
but it’s not a hospital. I love it,

00:13:39.687 --> 00:13:41.047
but it’s not a hospital.

00:13:41.638 --> 00:13:43.578
In fact, recourse is so difficult that

00:13:43.590 --> 00:13:45.360
most people who have lost stuff to

00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:47.370
civil forfeiture, just choose to walk away

00:13:47.370 --> 00:13:48.710
rather than fight.

00:13:48.725 --> 00:13:51.295
So at this point it should seem obvious

00:13:51.303 --> 00:13:53.643
that the bad may be starting to outweigh

00:13:53.655 --> 00:13:55.405
the good with civil forfeiture laws.

00:13:55.407 --> 00:13:56.917
So we’ve really got two choices.

00:13:56.917 --> 00:13:59.157
We can take a hard look at reforming them

00:13:59.170 --> 00:14:02.540
or at the very least we need to reform our

00:14:02.540 --> 00:14:05.240
network cop dramas to make them a lot more

00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:07.760
representative of what is actually happening.

00:14:07.760 --> 00:14:08.450
[laughing]

00:14:08.450 --> 00:14:10.730
Clip: Narrator: Coming soon. Law & Order.

00:14:10.730 --> 00:14:12.810
Civil Asset Forfeiture Unit.

00:14:16.079 --> 00:14:19.359
Get ready to go inside the thrilling world

00:14:19.371 --> 00:14:20.781
of civil forfeiture.

00:14:20.796 --> 00:14:22.656
Knock knock. Freeze, police!

00:14:22.660 --> 00:14:24.260
Hands on the ground; get off the sofa.

00:14:24.260 --> 00:14:25.790
Keep ‘em where we can see ‘em.

00:14:25.797 --> 00:14:27.107
You’re under arrest.

00:14:27.107 --> 00:14:29.017
Man: What for? You guys got nothing on me.

00:14:29.017 --> 00:14:31.857
Not you, the sofa.

00:14:32.926 --> 00:14:35.786
Narrator: Coming this fall, a procedural

00:14:35.786 --> 00:14:37.726
about law enforcement’s shadiest procedure.

00:14:41.184 --> 00:14:42.854
Officer: Rough night huh?

00:14:43.754 --> 00:14:45.984
Ah, well it’s about to get a lot rougher.

00:14:46.947 --> 00:14:49.867
What’s $2,500 in cash doing hanging out

00:14:49.867 --> 00:14:53.867
in somebody’s glove box huh? Answer me!

00:14:54.963 --> 00:14:57.293
Narrator: These cops are determined and

00:14:57.297 --> 00:14:59.977
they won’t stop until they get everything.

00:14:59.977 --> 00:15:02.967
Every...last...thing.

00:15:03.289 --> 00:15:04.279
Officer: You’re dirty right?

00:15:04.279 --> 00:15:05.849
Drug deal, guns, what is it?

00:15:05.849 --> 00:15:07.649
I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me!

00:15:09.169 --> 00:15:10.289
I’m gonna beat the shit out of ya.

00:15:11.009 --> 00:15:13.129
Officer: Detective Bovatchi, Civil Forfeiture Unit

00:15:13.139 --> 00:15:14.669
Narrator: Brace yourself for heart

00:15:14.669 --> 00:15:16.039
pounding take downs.

00:15:16.052 --> 00:15:16.982
Officer: Resisting arrest?

00:15:17.964 --> 00:15:20.094
Send in back up! Send in back up!

00:15:20.094 --> 00:15:21.764
Narrator: The defendants are inanimate,

00:15:21.764 --> 00:15:24.514
but the drama is anything but. 



00:15:24.527 --> 00:15:25.417
Officer: Frisk ‘em.

00:15:29.437 --> 00:15:31.267
Officer: There is a pile of silver dollars next

00:15:31.267 --> 00:15:33.117
door that says you did it.

00:15:34.947 --> 00:15:38.127
You will lose, and I will win.

00:15:50.514 --> 00:15:52.204
Officer: Stay on the streets too long,

00:15:52.204 --> 00:15:55.114
the city leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

00:15:57.002 --> 00:16:00.072
Officer: Hey, I know what’ll get it out.

00:16:03.082 --> 00:16:18.562
[laughing, applause]

00:16:18.562 --> 00:16:19.362
Narrator: Law & Order.

00:16:19.379 --> 00:16:21.579
Civil Asset Forfeiture Unit.

00:16:22.054 --> 00:16:23.244
Officer: I’m going to crumple you up

00:16:23.244 --> 00:16:26.299
until you look like a cat’s asshole.

00:16:26.299 --> 00:16:28.959
[applause]